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Condoms vs relationships
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
Just a thought : Much of today's education in schools is focussing on how to put a condom on - what I am finding frustrating is that there seem to be insufficent emphasis on how to build and maitain a relationship. So many people take it for granted that a long term relationship (and family planning) will somehow magically work out and are shocked and surprised when they dont.
What do other people think - should there be a greater focus on healthy relationships? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There should be a focus on many things but as so many parents are brining children up when separated from their other parent it may be looked on as hypocritical by the child. |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"where does a schools 'in loco parentis' end and actual pareting begin??
seems that these days more and more children are being left to be brought up by the schools  "
I agree totally - I was just thinking that as there are so many kids attending school without proper care and parenting school could offer to help to some degree? So many kids have not ideal role models at home either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"where does a schools 'in loco parentis' end and actual pareting begin??
seems that these days more and more children are being left to be brought up by the schools
I agree totally - I was just thinking that as there are so many kids attending school without proper care and parenting school could offer to help to some degree? So many kids have not ideal role models at home either. "
That may be the case but I don't see the schools being able or the right delivery system to provide it. |
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but where will they find the time/resources to do all o this?
they wont want to do it because it is not a curriculum subject, wont get measured and wont affect their league table results.
i do think that more services should be available to help parents learn how to parent, but would they access it or would they resent the act that you think they need the help? |
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I am a single parent and not by choice I might add. I firmly believe that ones moral compass comes from ones parents and family. The best way in my view in regards to relationships is what they see at home. I always show respect in front of my daughter to my parents and close family, always when leaving always kiss on the cheek and tell them that I love them. If she asks about her norther I always show respect and kindness towards her no matter what my views are. As for teachers doing the teaching she ihas not been married and often argues with other members of staff in front of the children. I firmly believe good relationships start at home. |
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"where does a schools 'in loco parentis' end and actual pareting begin??
seems that these days more and more children are being left to be brought up by the schools "
Then people become surprised kids aren't taught anything.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a thought : Much of today's education in schools is focussing on how to put a condom on - what I am finding frustrating is that there seem to be insufficent emphasis on how to build and maitain a relationship. So many people take it for granted that a long term relationship (and family planning) will somehow magically work out and are shocked and surprised when they dont.
What do other people think - should there be a greater focus on healthy relationships?"
....You say how to build and maintain a relationship.... like there is a formula for that... it differs as much as we do!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At my childrens school a lot of emphasis was based around relationships,personal boundaries and respect for your body from the beginning of their sex education at primary school and that has stayed throughout secondary school
Ive been really impressed with what they have been taught and parents are invited to be involved at anytime
I don't think there was anything that was a surprise to them as as when they reached certain ages there were some great books that I had bought for each of them and if they wanted to discuss anything then they did
I also applauded the programmes such as teenage embarrassing bodies as we all watched them together and I thought they were fantastically open about all those issues that can sometimes be cripplingly embarrasing for teens to discuss with parents 
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"where does a schools 'in loco parentis' end and actual pareting begin??
seems that these days more and more children are being left to be brought up by the schools
I agree totally - I was just thinking that as there are so many kids attending school without proper care and parenting school could offer to help to some degree? So many kids have not ideal role models at home either.
That may be the case but I don't see the schools being able or the right delivery system to provide it."
I dont think that schools alone can support this - but perhaps they could play a part? |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"At my childrens school a lot of emphasis was based around relationships,personal boundaries and respect for your body from the beginning of their sex education at primary school and that has stayed throughout secondary school
Ive been really impressed with what they have been taught and parents are invited to be involved at anytime
I don't think there was anything that was a surprise to them as as when they reached certain ages there were some great books that I had bought for each of them and if they wanted to discuss anything then they did
I also applauded the programmes such as teenage embarrassing bodies as we all watched them together and I thought they were fantastically open about all those issues that can sometimes be cripplingly embarrasing for teens to discuss with parents
"
That is what I was thinking of, I am not sure it happens everywhere but really to my mind this has got to be a good way forward. |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"What is a 'healthy relationship' though?
Everyone's opinion will be different.
This one has to come from the parents we think."
Sure people will have different ideas of what they want out of a relationship; I would define the key ingredients as mutual respect, friendship, trust and acceptance of the other person. The respect I think most people would agree on? |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Just a thought : Much of today's education in schools is focussing on how to put a condom on - what I am finding frustrating is that there seem to be insufficent emphasis on how to build and maitain a relationship. So many people take it for granted that a long term relationship (and family planning) will somehow magically work out and are shocked and surprised when they dont.
What do other people think - should there be a greater focus on healthy relationships?
....You say how to build and maintain a relationship.... like there is a formula for that... it differs as much as we do! "
No formula was suggested or implied, I just think that both boys and girls deserve to have some support and guidance towards respecting their own bodies, personalities etc and that of others. Individual relationships will vary a great deal. |
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"Just a thought : Much of today's education in schools is focussing on how to put a condom on - what I am finding frustrating is that there seem to be insufficent emphasis on how to build and maitain a relationship. So many people take it for granted that a long term relationship (and family planning) will somehow magically work out and are shocked and surprised when they dont.
What do other people think - should there be a greater focus on healthy relationships?"
NO. They should concentrate on speed dating sessions held at McDonalds or other fast food outlets.
"Do you want my gherkin?". "Oh yes please"
Love at first bite.
One could say there maybe efficiencies to be had from the likeness of chewing a burger to giving a blowjob with a condom on. What do i know? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a thought : Much of today's education in schools is focussing on how to put a condom on - what I am finding frustrating is that there seem to be insufficent emphasis on how to build and maitain a relationship. So many people take it for granted that a long term relationship (and family planning) will somehow magically work out and are shocked and surprised when they dont.
What do other people think - should there be a greater focus on healthy relationships?"
Not everyone wants a relationship, i think now day and age teaching kids about family planning is far more important, building a relationship is something they will do if and when they are ready |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Just a thought : Much of today's education in schools is focussing on how to put a condom on - what I am finding frustrating is that there seem to be insufficent emphasis on how to build and maitain a relationship. So many people take it for granted that a long term relationship (and family planning) will somehow magically work out and are shocked and surprised when they dont.
What do other people think - should there be a greater focus on healthy relationships?
NO. They should concentrate on speed dating sessions held at McDonalds or other fast food outlets.
"Do you want my gherkin?". "Oh yes please"
Love at first bite.
One could say there maybe efficiencies to be had from the likeness of chewing a burger to giving a blowjob with a condom on. What do i know?"
Mushy, you do need to get out and preferable choose KFC this time |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"Just a thought : Much of today's education in schools is focussing on how to put a condom on - what I am finding frustrating is that there seem to be insufficent emphasis on how to build and maitain a relationship. So many people take it for granted that a long term relationship (and family planning) will somehow magically work out and are shocked and surprised when they dont.
What do other people think - should there be a greater focus on healthy relationships?
Not everyone wants a relationship, i think now day and age teaching kids about family planning is far more important, building a relationship is something they will do if and when they are ready "
I agree, although I would go as far as saying forming healthy relationships (not just for family planning), any relationship takes respect, ability to compromise, good communication etc... and those "skills" are important in many places in society - so I guess that is where I was also coming from. |
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"Just a thought : Much of today's education in schools is focussing on how to put a condom on - what I am finding frustrating is that there seem to be insufficent emphasis on how to build and maitain a relationship. So many people take it for granted that a long term relationship (and family planning) will somehow magically work out and are shocked and surprised when they dont.
What do other people think - should there be a greater focus on healthy relationships?
NO. They should concentrate on speed dating sessions held at McDonalds or other fast food outlets.
"Do you want my gherkin?". "Oh yes please"
Love at first bite.
One could say there maybe efficiencies to be had from the likeness of chewing a burger to giving a blowjob with a condom on. What do i know?
Mushy, you do need to get out and preferable choose KFC this time"
ooooooh no, and get my fingers all sticky?
And i won't mention buckets. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a thought : Much of today's education in schools is focussing on how to put a condom on - what I am finding frustrating is that there seem to be insufficent emphasis on how to build and maitain a relationship. So many people take it for granted that a long term relationship (and family planning) will somehow magically work out and are shocked and surprised when they dont.
What do other people think - should there be a greater focus on healthy relationships?
Not everyone wants a relationship, i think now day and age teaching kids about family planning is far more important, building a relationship is something they will do if and when they are ready I agree, although I would go as far as saying forming healthy relationships (not just for family planning), any relationship takes respect, ability to compromise, good communication etc... and those "skills" are important in many places in society - so I guess that is where I was also coming from."
This I totally agree with ! I have 2 teenage children and when sex education was introduced in primary school parents were not at all impressed ! I was a single parent at the time and we as parents were invited along to the school to see how the lessons were delivered. Much to my surprise the focus was on telling the children about the differences between their bodies and a little about puberty and a lot about respecting themselves and other in order to form good relationships. Needless to say the parents who didn't like the idea of the lessons didn't actually bother to turn up to this meeting they were too busy with their social lives to care.
You also tend to see a lot of children left to their own devices these days fending for themselves but I have to say I am so glad I am a mum who makes sure boundaries are set chores are done conversation is honest and most of all respect is given so I can help them with whatever problems/ questions they have and they are not afraid to approach and ask  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a thought : Much of today's education in schools is focussing on how to put a condom on - what I am finding frustrating is that there seem to be insufficent emphasis on how to build and maitain a relationship. So many people take it for granted that a long term relationship (and family planning) will somehow magically work out and are shocked and surprised when they dont.
What do other people think - should there be a greater focus on healthy relationships?"
when i was doing sex ed at school i said exactly same think to my teacher. She just had a blank expression on her face. |
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