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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Is it wrong for someone to break up with their partner because they've put on too much weight?
I workout hard and encourage her to eat well and exercise but she's just lazy and makes no effort.
I'm not the shallow type but i work out to look good for her but she doesn't. I cook healthy meals most nights for us both but she'd rather eat junk food.
Is it wrong? |
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If you think your feelings have changed towards her because of her weight, then no, it's not wrong. But to leave them because they have simply put weight on, then yes it's wrong.
Please bear in mind, that is just our opinion though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is it wrong for someone to break up with their partner because they've put on too much weight?
I workout hard and encourage her to eat well and exercise but she's just lazy and makes no effort.
I'm not the shallow type but i work out to look good for her but she doesn't. I cook healthy meals most nights for us both but she'd rather eat junk food.
Is it wrong?"
if you don't love her anymore then leave but if you do tell her how you're feeling and tell her she needs to do something about it because its making you unhappy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is it wrong for someone to break up with their partner because they've put on too much weight?
I workout hard and encourage her to eat well and exercise but she's just lazy and makes no effort.
I'm not the shallow type but i work out to look good for her but she doesn't. I cook healthy meals most nights for us both but she'd rather eat junk food.
Is it wrong?"
Has this always been the case or a new thing? |
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People change habits when their mental health isn't ideal. Badgering her about her size won't help nor will nagging.
If you love her be more supportive and help her understand her emotions as more often than not people slip into the behaviour without realising because the brain is seeking something. Junk food makes people feel good.
There's an underlying issue that leads to changes.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"People change habits when their mental health isn't ideal. Badgering her about her size won't help nor will nagging.
If you love her be more supportive and help her understand her emotions as more often than not people slip into the behaviour without realising because the brain is seeking something. Junk food makes people feel good.
There's an underlying issue that leads to changes.
"
That's what I was getting at.
There is normally an underlying problem.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"People change habits when their mental health isn't ideal. Badgering her about her size won't help nor will nagging.
If you love her be more supportive and help her understand her emotions as more often than not people slip into the behaviour without realising because the brain is seeking something. Junk food makes people feel good.
There's an underlying issue that leads to changes.
"
really, i never eat junk food so not sure why you say that, differing mental states do cause over eating mind is she maybe worrying about something?  |
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"People change habits when their mental health isn't ideal. Badgering her about her size won't help nor will nagging.
If you love her be more supportive and help her understand her emotions as more often than not people slip into the behaviour without realising because the brain is seeking something. Junk food makes people feel good.
There's an underlying issue that leads to changes.
really, i never eat junk food so not sure why you say that, differing mental states do cause over eating mind is she maybe worrying about something? "
I didn't say all people, some people excessively exercise, some use sex, some use porn, some use alcohol etc. People do things that make them feel better. Food is popular way of feeling better gives a filling and comforting sensation, especially junk food. Why some women crave chocolate during different points in their cycle. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"People change habits when their mental health isn't ideal. Badgering her about her size won't help nor will nagging.
If you love her be more supportive and help her understand her emotions as more often than not people slip into the behaviour without realising because the brain is seeking something. Junk food makes people feel good.
There's an underlying issue that leads to changes.
really, i never eat junk food so not sure why you say that, differing mental states do cause over eating mind is she maybe worrying about something?
I didn't say all people, some people excessively exercise, some use sex, some use porn, some use alcohol etc. People do things that make them feel better. Food is popular way of feeling better gives a filling and comforting sensation, especially junk food. Why some women crave chocolate during different points in their cycle. "
Absolutely, people try to find ways of feeling better and coping but it can often be unhelpful behaviour and cause its own issues.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"People change habits when their mental health isn't ideal. Badgering her about her size won't help nor will nagging.
If you love her be more supportive and help her understand her emotions as more often than not people slip into the behaviour without realising because the brain is seeking something. Junk food makes people feel good.
There's an underlying issue that leads to changes.
really, i never eat junk food so not sure why you say that, differing mental states do cause over eating mind is she maybe worrying about something?
I didn't say all people, some people excessively exercise, some use sex, some use porn, some use alcohol etc. People do things that make them feel better. Food is popular way of feeling better gives a filling and comforting sensation, especially junk food. Why some women crave chocolate during different points in their cycle.
Absolutely, people try to find ways of feeling better and coping but it can often be unhelpful behaviour and cause its own issues.
"
exactly this and its like a snowball affect once you become addicted you can't stop, i feel quite sorry for the Op because its a very difficult one to get round without hurting the other person's feelings but sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"People change habits when their mental health isn't ideal. Badgering her about her size won't help nor will nagging.
If you love her be more supportive and help her understand her emotions as more often than not people slip into the behaviour without realising because the brain is seeking something. Junk food makes people feel good.
There's an underlying issue that leads to changes.
really, i never eat junk food so not sure why you say that, differing mental states do cause over eating mind is she maybe worrying about something?
I didn't say all people, some people excessively exercise, some use sex, some use porn, some use alcohol etc. People do things that make them feel better. Food is popular way of feeling better gives a filling and comforting sensation, especially junk food. Why some women crave chocolate during different points in their cycle.
Absolutely, people try to find ways of feeling better and coping but it can often be unhelpful behaviour and cause its own issues.
exactly this and its like a snowball affect once you become addicted you can't stop, i feel quite sorry for the Op because its a very difficult one to get round without hurting the other person's feelings but sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind "
But he doesn't have to be cruel.
There is almost certainly a reason behind her behaviour, if he trys to understand that and talk to her about that, then they maybe able to work on a solution together. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Not enough information all you say is that she has put weight on, eats junk food and is lazy.
Got kids ?
How old ?
Working ?
Depressed ?
Medication ?
Are you giving her the support she needs or are you just not in love with her anymore and looking for an reason to leave.
Lots of reasons people put weight on both medically and mentally.
Women have to cope with lots more things going on inside them than men, hormone imbalances, child birth etc etc.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"People change habits when their mental health isn't ideal. Badgering her about her size won't help nor will nagging.
If you love her be more supportive and help her understand her emotions as more often than not people slip into the behaviour without realising because the brain is seeking something. Junk food makes people feel good.
There's an underlying issue that leads to changes.
really, i never eat junk food so not sure why you say that, differing mental states do cause over eating mind is she maybe worrying about something?
I didn't say all people, some people excessively exercise, some use sex, some use porn, some use alcohol etc. People do things that make them feel better. Food is popular way of feeling better gives a filling and comforting sensation, especially junk food. Why some women crave chocolate during different points in their cycle.
Absolutely, people try to find ways of feeling better and coping but it can often be unhelpful behaviour and cause its own issues.
exactly this and its like a snowball affect once you become addicted you can't stop, i feel quite sorry for the Op because its a very difficult one to get round without hurting the other person's feelings but sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind
But he doesn't have to be cruel.
There is almost certainly a reason behind her behaviour, if he trys to understand that and talk to her about that, then they maybe able to work on a solution together. "
The point I'm trying to make is the weight and lack of interest are almost certainly the byproduct of something else. So treat the problem rather than just the symptoms. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"People change habits when their mental health isn't ideal. Badgering her about her size won't help nor will nagging.
If you love her be more supportive and help her understand her emotions as more often than not people slip into the behaviour without realising because the brain is seeking something. Junk food makes people feel good.
There's an underlying issue that leads to changes.
really, i never eat junk food so not sure why you say that, differing mental states do cause over eating mind is she maybe worrying about something?
I didn't say all people, some people excessively exercise, some use sex, some use porn, some use alcohol etc. People do things that make them feel better. Food is popular way of feeling better gives a filling and comforting sensation, especially junk food. Why some women crave chocolate during different points in their cycle.
Absolutely, people try to find ways of feeling better and coping but it can often be unhelpful behaviour and cause its own issues.
exactly this and its like a snowball affect once you become addicted you can't stop, i feel quite sorry for the Op because its a very difficult one to get round without hurting the other person's feelings but sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind
But he doesn't have to be cruel.
There is almost certainly a reason behind her behaviour, if he trys to understand that and talk to her about that, then they maybe able to work on a solution together. "
i agree but by sounds of things hes been trying for a while and relationships are formed of two people, communication is always the key but sometimes just sometimes the stark reality needs to be put out there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"People change habits when their mental health isn't ideal. Badgering her about her size won't help nor will nagging.
If you love her be more supportive and help her understand her emotions as more often than not people slip into the behaviour without realising because the brain is seeking something. Junk food makes people feel good.
There's an underlying issue that leads to changes.
really, i never eat junk food so not sure why you say that, differing mental states do cause over eating mind is she maybe worrying about something?
I didn't say all people, some people excessively exercise, some use sex, some use porn, some use alcohol etc. People do things that make them feel better. Food is popular way of feeling better gives a filling and comforting sensation, especially junk food. Why some women crave chocolate during different points in their cycle.
Absolutely, people try to find ways of feeling better and coping but it can often be unhelpful behaviour and cause its own issues.
exactly this and its like a snowball affect once you become addicted you can't stop, i feel quite sorry for the Op because its a very difficult one to get round without hurting the other person's feelings but sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind
But he doesn't have to be cruel.
There is almost certainly a reason behind her behaviour, if he trys to understand that and talk to her about that, then they maybe able to work on a solution together. i agree but by sounds of things hes been trying for a while and relationships are formed of two people, communication is always the key but sometimes just sometimes the stark reality needs to be put out there "
To be honest it comes across as he doesn't think she looks good any more and she should want to look good for him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"People change habits when their mental health isn't ideal. Badgering her about her size won't help nor will nagging.
If you love her be more supportive and help her understand her emotions as more often than not people slip into the behaviour without realising because the brain is seeking something. Junk food makes people feel good.
There's an underlying issue that leads to changes.
really, i never eat junk food so not sure why you say that, differing mental states do cause over eating mind is she maybe worrying about something?
I didn't say all people, some people excessively exercise, some use sex, some use porn, some use alcohol etc. People do things that make them feel better. Food is popular way of feeling better gives a filling and comforting sensation, especially junk food. Why some women crave chocolate during different points in their cycle.
Absolutely, people try to find ways of feeling better and coping but it can often be unhelpful behaviour and cause its own issues.
exactly this and its like a snowball affect once you become addicted you can't stop, i feel quite sorry for the Op because its a very difficult one to get round without hurting the other person's feelings but sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind
But he doesn't have to be cruel.
There is almost certainly a reason behind her behaviour, if he trys to understand that and talk to her about that, then they maybe able to work on a solution together. i agree but by sounds of things hes been trying for a while and relationships are formed of two people, communication is always the key but sometimes just sometimes the stark reality needs to be put out there
To be honest it comes across as he doesn't think she looks good any more and she should want to look good for him. "
who knows lots of factors come into it but having a pride in your appearance and a need to be healthy and fit are high on anyones list of a happy lifes requirements, look after your body and it will look after you.
We enter into relationships for many different reasons and sometimes things change quite dramatically, i think many couples give up trying far to easily these days and move onto the next in many cases for the right reasons but in others maybe more could have been done communication wise |
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"People change habits when their mental health isn't ideal. Badgering her about her size won't help nor will nagging.
If you love her be more supportive and help her understand her emotions as more often than not people slip into the behaviour without realising because the brain is seeking something. Junk food makes people feel good.
There's an underlying issue that leads to changes.
really, i never eat junk food so not sure why you say that, differing mental states do cause over eating mind is she maybe worrying about something?
I didn't say all people, some people excessively exercise, some use sex, some use porn, some use alcohol etc. People do things that make them feel better. Food is popular way of feeling better gives a filling and comforting sensation, especially junk food. Why some women crave chocolate during different points in their cycle.
Absolutely, people try to find ways of feeling better and coping but it can often be unhelpful behaviour and cause its own issues.
exactly this and its like a snowball affect once you become addicted you can't stop, i feel quite sorry for the Op because its a very difficult one to get round without hurting the other person's feelings but sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind
But he doesn't have to be cruel.
There is almost certainly a reason behind her behaviour, if he trys to understand that and talk to her about that, then they maybe able to work on a solution together. i agree but by sounds of things hes been trying for a while and relationships are formed of two people, communication is always the key but sometimes just sometimes the stark reality needs to be put out there "
If I was to be my brutally honest self first off if he loved her it makes no difference if she gains 10lbs or 10st he would still love her because you don't love someone just for their physical appearance. He says he's not shallow but he is otherwise her looks wouldn't matter, his fitness regime is for himself than her because if she was obsessed with self image she would find her weight gain an issue also.
Is he on here but she knows he is or is he cheating?
Is he looking for something to fill something he's missing but neglecting his gf he's after sex but is he having sex with her? If she is feeling unwanted she will find another way to feel better.
Is he using her weight as an excuse to find a better "model" gf?
Hidden profile doesn't give us much to gauge him besides a few lines on his forum thread, but seems to me he is the underlying issue. Narcissistic, shallow, insensitive and uncaring.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"People change habits when their mental health isn't ideal. Badgering her about her size won't help nor will nagging.
If you love her be more supportive and help her understand her emotions as more often than not people slip into the behaviour without realising because the brain is seeking something. Junk food makes people feel good.
There's an underlying issue that leads to changes.
really, i never eat junk food so not sure why you say that, differing mental states do cause over eating mind is she maybe worrying about something?
I didn't say all people, some people excessively exercise, some use sex, some use porn, some use alcohol etc. People do things that make them feel better. Food is popular way of feeling better gives a filling and comforting sensation, especially junk food. Why some women crave chocolate during different points in their cycle.
Absolutely, people try to find ways of feeling better and coping but it can often be unhelpful behaviour and cause its own issues.
exactly this and its like a snowball affect once you become addicted you can't stop, i feel quite sorry for the Op because its a very difficult one to get round without hurting the other person's feelings but sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind
But he doesn't have to be cruel.
There is almost certainly a reason behind her behaviour, if he trys to understand that and talk to her about that, then they maybe able to work on a solution together. i agree but by sounds of things hes been trying for a while and relationships are formed of two people, communication is always the key but sometimes just sometimes the stark reality needs to be put out there
If I was to be my brutally honest self first off if he loved her it makes no difference if she gains 10lbs or 10st he would still love her because you don't love someone just for their physical appearance. He says he's not shallow but he is otherwise her looks wouldn't matter, his fitness regime is for himself than her because if she was obsessed with self image she would find her weight gain an issue also.
Is he on here but she knows he is or is he cheating?
Is he looking for something to fill something he's missing but neglecting his gf he's after sex but is he having sex with her? If she is feeling unwanted she will find another way to feel better.
Is he using her weight as an excuse to find a better "model" gf?
Hidden profile doesn't give us much to gauge him besides a few lines on his forum thread, but seems to me he is the underlying issue. Narcissistic, shallow, insensitive and uncaring.
"
omg this is all hypothesis we know nothing of the Op sex hasn't been mentioned agreed because he enjoys keeping fit and keeping in shape that shouldn't apply to her but as i said its a relationship, two people are in it if its going to stay that way both people in it need to consider each other |
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"People change habits when their mental health isn't ideal. Badgering her about her size won't help nor will nagging.
If you love her be more supportive and help her understand her emotions as more often than not people slip into the behaviour without realising because the brain is seeking something. Junk food makes people feel good.
There's an underlying issue that leads to changes.
really, i never eat junk food so not sure why you say that, differing mental states do cause over eating mind is she maybe worrying about something?
I didn't say all people, some people excessively exercise, some use sex, some use porn, some use alcohol etc. People do things that make them feel better. Food is popular way of feeling better gives a filling and comforting sensation, especially junk food. Why some women crave chocolate during different points in their cycle.
Absolutely, people try to find ways of feeling better and coping but it can often be unhelpful behaviour and cause its own issues.
exactly this and its like a snowball affect once you become addicted you can't stop, i feel quite sorry for the Op because its a very difficult one to get round without hurting the other person's feelings but sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind
But he doesn't have to be cruel.
There is almost certainly a reason behind her behaviour, if he trys to understand that and talk to her about that, then they maybe able to work on a solution together. i agree but by sounds of things hes been trying for a while and relationships are formed of two people, communication is always the key but sometimes just sometimes the stark reality needs to be put out there
If I was to be my brutally honest self first off if he loved her it makes no difference if she gains 10lbs or 10st he would still love her because you don't love someone just for their physical appearance. He says he's not shallow but he is otherwise her looks wouldn't matter, his fitness regime is for himself than her because if she was obsessed with self image she would find her weight gain an issue also.
Is he on here but she knows he is or is he cheating?
Is he looking for something to fill something he's missing but neglecting his gf he's after sex but is he having sex with her? If she is feeling unwanted she will find another way to feel better.
Is he using her weight as an excuse to find a better "model" gf?
Hidden profile doesn't give us much to gauge him besides a few lines on his forum thread, but seems to me he is the underlying issue. Narcissistic, shallow, insensitive and uncaring.
omg this is all hypothesis we know nothing of the Op sex hasn't been mentioned agreed because he enjoys keeping fit and keeping in shape that shouldn't apply to her but as i said its a relationship, two people are in it if its going to stay that way both people in it need to consider each other "
Two people in the relationship and he's here as a single male, he calls her lazy, he's discussing her on a public forum in a negative manner. Looking for a sympathetic response to dumping her because she's gained weight.
He thinks looking good for her is a thoughtful thing but judges her?
He doesn't sound like someone who thinks kindly of his partner, nor care what she's feeling.
Hiding his profile for what hide his profile text, the verifications?
Is he afraid of the judgement so he tries to look like he's being caring and considerate but doesn't know how to because he doesn't realise the way he talks about her negatively is actually being negative. If he actually loved her the concern would be how to improve her mood not the sympathy of dumping her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Have you tried talking to her instead of telling us maybe she is depressed stressed or anxious? Think it's wrong just just because she's put on a bit of weight that your considering leaving I'm sure u didn't fall in love with her in the first place just because she was slim? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"People change habits when their mental health isn't ideal. Badgering her about her size won't help nor will nagging.
If you love her be more supportive and help her understand her emotions as more often than not people slip into the behaviour without realising because the brain is seeking something. Junk food makes people feel good.
There's an underlying issue that leads to changes.
really, i never eat junk food so not sure why you say that, differing mental states do cause over eating mind is she maybe worrying about something?
I didn't say all people, some people excessively exercise, some use sex, some use porn, some use alcohol etc. People do things that make them feel better. Food is popular way of feeling better gives a filling and comforting sensation, especially junk food. Why some women crave chocolate during different points in their cycle.
Absolutely, people try to find ways of feeling better and coping but it can often be unhelpful behaviour and cause its own issues.
exactly this and its like a snowball affect once you become addicted you can't stop, i feel quite sorry for the Op because its a very difficult one to get round without hurting the other person's feelings but sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind
But he doesn't have to be cruel.
There is almost certainly a reason behind her behaviour, if he trys to understand that and talk to her about that, then they maybe able to work on a solution together. i agree but by sounds of things hes been trying for a while and relationships are formed of two people, communication is always the key but sometimes just sometimes the stark reality needs to be put out there
If I was to be my brutally honest self first off if he loved her it makes no difference if she gains 10lbs or 10st he would still love her because you don't love someone just for their physical appearance. He says he's not shallow but he is otherwise her looks wouldn't matter, his fitness regime is for himself than her because if she was obsessed with self image she would find her weight gain an issue also.
Is he on here but she knows he is or is he cheating?
Is he looking for something to fill something he's missing but neglecting his gf he's after sex but is he having sex with her? If she is feeling unwanted she will find another way to feel better.
Is he using her weight as an excuse to find a better "model" gf?
Hidden profile doesn't give us much to gauge him besides a few lines on his forum thread, but seems to me he is the underlying issue. Narcissistic, shallow, insensitive and uncaring.
omg this is all hypothesis we know nothing of the Op sex hasn't been mentioned agreed because he enjoys keeping fit and keeping in shape that shouldn't apply to her but as i said its a relationship, two people are in it if its going to stay that way both people in it need to consider each other
Two people in the relationship and he's here as a single male, he calls her lazy, he's discussing her on a public forum in a negative manner. Looking for a sympathetic response to dumping her because she's gained weight.
He thinks looking good for her is a thoughtful thing but judges her?
He doesn't sound like someone who thinks kindly of his partner, nor care what she's feeling.
Hiding his profile for what hide his profile text, the verifications?
Is he afraid of the judgement so he tries to look like he's being caring and considerate but doesn't know how to because he doesn't realise the way he talks about her negatively is actually being negative. If he actually loved her the concern would be how to improve her mood not the sympathy of dumping her."
hey you've convicted him without knowing any history yourself, you could be right and i certainly wouldn't ask this question in a public forum of people i don't know and as a result wouldn't really care about their opinion but maybe just maybe this has been going on for a while and he's just reaching out for help, maybe he hasn't put it very tactfully but relationships involve two people and require two people to be considered, we don't really know enough to make judgement and should he care about any judgement we make 'no' he shouldn't   |
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"Not enough information all you say is that she has put weight on, eats junk food and is lazy.
Got kids ?
How old ?
Working ?
Depressed ?
Medication ?
Are you giving her the support she needs or are you just not in love with her anymore and looking for an reason to leave.
Lots of reasons people put weight on both medically and mentally.
Women have to cope with lots more things going on inside them than men, hormone imbalances, child birth etc etc.
"
Basically what he said!
My weight goes up and down but mainly up! Ive had a 10lb baby, have polycystic ovaries, like food, like alcohol! I also work 40 hours a week where I'm on my feet and spend most of my time running around like a blue arsed fly!
Oh and men adore my curves, more to grab hold of, suck and slap! If you can't embrace her curves move over for someone who can! I've had a few relationships over the years only 1 man ever fat shamed, he was a bully and is lonely, I am not  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Not enough information all you say is that she has put weight on, eats junk food and is lazy.
Got kids ?
How old ?
Working ?
Depressed ?
Medication ?
Are you giving her the support she needs or are you just not in love with her anymore and looking for an reason to leave.
Lots of reasons people put weight on both medically and mentally.
Women have to cope with lots more things going on inside them than men, hormone imbalances, child birth etc etc.
"
No we dont have kids nor is she on any medication
I try everyday to encourage her to eat healthy and exercise but shes just not having it. My plan isnt to leave her im trying everyday to encourage her and she just laughs at me.
But i feel like shes taking the piss,ive been trying for months but she just isnt making any effort |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
There are two sides to every story and weight is a complex issue and not simply about food so it’s difficult to know what’s happening.
All I know is that when I love, I love. Weight gain or loss wouldn’t change my feelings or make me walk away from someone but that’s just me  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Ladies , my post wasnt in a nasty way and wasn't looking for an argument.
However if it was something she couldnt help amd not her choice then that would be a different story. However its just lazyness and is she doesn't make the effort then why should i?
Its only me fighting to keep it together. Also yes, weight shouldn't make me change my mind but at the same time there needs to be an attraction, the way she used to look is what i like... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Not enough information all you say is that she has put weight on, eats junk food and is lazy.
Got kids ?
How old ?
Working ?
Depressed ?
Medication ?
Are you giving her the support she needs or are you just not in love with her anymore and looking for an reason to leave.
Lots of reasons people put weight on both medically and mentally.
Women have to cope with lots more things going on inside them than men, hormone imbalances, child birth etc etc.
No we dont have kids nor is she on any medication
I try everyday to encourage her to eat healthy and exercise but shes just not having it. My plan isnt to leave her im trying everyday to encourage her and she just laughs at me.
But i feel like shes taking the piss,ive been trying for months but she just isnt making any effort"
Have you tried to speak to her (obviously in a non argumentative way) about how her behaviour is making you feel. Maybe she hates the idea of going to a gym, but will consider something else with you.
Or have you asked her if she’s happy? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you had more sex with her instead of having sex on here she might be in a better shape.
I know I would be if I had regular sex."
has he had sex on here though, have i, how would you know?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you had more sex with her instead of having sex on here she might be in a better shape.
I know I would be if I had regular sex.has he had sex on here though, have i, how would you know? "
Green arrow. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I care about her well being and i've tried to help in many ways. Of course not everyone enjoys the gym which is totally understandable. Ive suggested eating healthier and im willing to take up any sort of sport she would play . I'd take up ballet if its what she'd like. She complains about her weight amd i try to help but it doesnt work.
P.s Ive hidden my profile due to recieving abuse on my last post by expressing an opinion and therefore dont want to recieve abusive messages, thats all.
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
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"Ladies , my post wasnt in a nasty way and wasn't looking for an argument.
However if it was something she couldnt help amd not her choice then that would be a different story. However its just lazyness and is she doesn't make the effort then why should i?
Its only me fighting to keep it together. Also yes, weight shouldn't make me change my mind but at the same time there needs to be an attraction, the way she used to look is what i like..."
Nobody will continue to look as they once did. We all age, we all change but I understand the point you’re making, you’re not physically attracted to her.
Weight gain is mostly a physiological issue not laziness but people rarely want to believe it. Personally it grinds my gears when people say it’s laziness. It just demonstrates a complete lack of understanding.
This is obviously just my view on these things generally, not your personal situation.
I do hope you manage to find a way forward though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I care about her well being and i've tried to help in many ways. Of course not everyone enjoys the gym which is totally understandable. Ive suggested eating healthier and im willing to take up any sort of sport she would play . I'd take up ballet if its what she'd like. She complains about her weight amd i try to help but it doesnt work.
I get ya. My Mrs complains about her weight, really tries hard but misses the mark by using excessive butter, sauce that kinda thing but you just gotta support as best you can. Do you guys enjoy sex together still or has that gone stale? Do you go out together or has that gone stale too? Is she happy with your relationship?
P.s Ive hidden my profile due to recieving abuse on my last post by expressing an opinion and therefore dont want to recieve abusive messages, thats all.
"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Our relation is fine,we get on very well, but ive tried to help her for months now and she isn't having any of it. If i was shallow and cruel i would've left months ago but im trying and trying to help her get in shape again.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Our relation is fine,we get on very well, but ive tried to help her for months now and she isn't having any of it. If i was shallow and cruel i would've left months ago but im trying and trying to help her get in shape again.
"
I get ya - happy to chat privately if u want |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I understand weight is a sensative subject for people and i no way was i shaming her.
It's not only that it's also the fact that it's leading us to have different intrested and hobby causing us to spend less time together and stuff... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I understand weight is a sensative subject for people and i no way was i shaming her.
It's not only that it's also the fact that it's leading us to have different intrested and hobby causing us to spend less time together and stuff..."
talk to her tell her how you feel, i don't know how long you've been here and i suspect she doesn't know you're here but if she does maybe thats why shes doing it, if you're both unhappy move on, don't let the finances get in the way just move on but you'll get no sympathy here if you're cheating you know that don't you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I understand weight is a sensative subject for people and i no way was i shaming her.
It's not only that it's also the fact that it's leading us to have different intrested and hobby causing us to spend less time together and stuff..."
I think an outright question along the lines of
- are u happy with us? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not cheating,We have a couples account as well as single. I know i wasn't looking for sympathy only advice"
Advice is - speak to her. Only she can give you the answers.
I saw you had a wee look. |
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"I understand weight is a sensative subject for people and i no way was i shaming her.
It's not only that it's also the fact that it's leading us to have different intrested and hobby causing us to spend less time together and stuff..."
I can relate to this as similar happened to me. The bottom line is you have fallen out of love with her. If you loved her then weight would not be an issue. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nobody can answer this question on here because nobody knows you both personally.
If it was me I would approach and speak to her best friend by phone or go round and see that person, tell them your concerns and what it is doing to your relationship, that you are worried about her well-being and health show your concerns and worries. They might know something you don't, but don't put your partner down by saying she is fat and lazy or that friend might just think what a T**t you are.
Her parents might be able to help.
Or both go to chat to your doctor.
I am sure if you both still care about each other you will get through this. |
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"Ladies , my post wasnt in a nasty way and wasn't looking for an argument.
However if it was something she couldnt help amd not her choice then that would be a different story. However its just lazyness and is she doesn't make the effort then why should i?
Its only me fighting to keep it together. Also yes, weight shouldn't make me change my mind but at the same time there needs to be an attraction, the way she used to look is what i like..."
I think your putting to much on to the weight.. it shouldn't really matter. Also you keep mentioning that its stopped you doing stuff together and that you would take up ballet if she would do it. Let her find things she enjoys herself. As you dont need to have stuff that you do together.. in fact having separate hobbies is often a good thing.
If she is unhappy with her weight but doesnt want to do anything about it .m then I'd suggest there is something more to it. I do know personally if my partner made it clear he wouldn't fancy me if I put on weight... it would probably push me to leave or make me feel awful.. |
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I think you have fallen out of love with her. When i was with my husband i put on 6 stone and it was never an issue. My current partner has seen my weight fluxtuate between 9 stone and 22 and half stone hes never made an issue out of it |
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"People change habits when their mental health isn't ideal. Badgering her about her size won't help nor will nagging.
If you love her be more supportive and help her understand her emotions as more often than not people slip into the behaviour without realising because the brain is seeking something. Junk food makes people feel good.
There's an underlying issue that leads to changes.
really, i never eat junk food so not sure why you say that, differing mental states do cause over eating mind is she maybe worrying about something?
I didn't say all people, some people excessively exercise, some use sex, some use porn, some use alcohol etc. People do things that make them feel better. Food is popular way of feeling better gives a filling and comforting sensation, especially junk food. Why some women crave chocolate during different points in their cycle.
Absolutely, people try to find ways of feeling better and coping but it can often be unhelpful behaviour and cause its own issues.
exactly this and its like a snowball affect once you become addicted you can't stop, i feel quite sorry for the Op because its a very difficult one to get round without hurting the other person's feelings but sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind
But he doesn't have to be cruel.
There is almost certainly a reason behind her behaviour, if he trys to understand that and talk to her about that, then they maybe able to work on a solution together. i agree but by sounds of things hes been trying for a while and relationships are formed of two people, communication is always the key but sometimes just sometimes the stark reality needs to be put out there
To be honest it comes across as he doesn't think she looks good any more and she should want to look good for him. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People change habits when their mental health isn't ideal. Badgering her about her size won't help nor will nagging.
If you love her be more supportive and help her understand her emotions as more often than not people slip into the behaviour without realising because the brain is seeking something. Junk food makes people feel good.
There's an underlying issue that leads to changes.
really, i never eat junk food so not sure why you say that, differing mental states do cause over eating mind is she maybe worrying about something?
I didn't say all people, some people excessively exercise, some use sex, some use porn, some use alcohol etc. People do things that make them feel better. Food is popular way of feeling better gives a filling and comforting sensation, especially junk food. Why some women crave chocolate during different points in their cycle.
Absolutely, people try to find ways of feeling better and coping but it can often be unhelpful behaviour and cause its own issues.
exactly this and its like a snowball affect once you become addicted you can't stop, i feel quite sorry for the Op because its a very difficult one to get round without hurting the other person's feelings but sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind
But he doesn't have to be cruel.
There is almost certainly a reason behind her behaviour, if he trys to understand that and talk to her about that, then they maybe able to work on a solution together. i agree but by sounds of things hes been trying for a while and relationships are formed of two people, communication is always the key but sometimes just sometimes the stark reality needs to be put out there
If I was to be my brutally honest self first off if he loved her it makes no difference if she gains 10lbs or 10st he would still love her because you don't love someone just for their physical appearance. He says he's not shallow but he is otherwise her looks wouldn't matter, his fitness regime is for himself than her because if she was obsessed with self image she would find her weight gain an issue also.
Is he on here but she knows he is or is he cheating?
Is he looking for something to fill something he's missing but neglecting his gf he's after sex but is he having sex with her? If she is feeling unwanted she will find another way to feel better.
Is he using her weight as an excuse to find a better "model" gf?
Hidden profile doesn't give us much to gauge him besides a few lines on his forum thread, but seems to me he is the underlying issue. Narcissistic, shallow, insensitive and uncaring.
"
Everything you said occurred to me too  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you're thinking of going tell her why and at least give her chance to change, if she doesn't change then she's clearly not on your wavelength anymore. |
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