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Give yourself the elbow
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"Sneeze into it, then wash your hands.
Boom!
No Covid-19.
I love medical science.
It's a bit like nuclear war threat advice. Sit in the cupboard and put some cushions around the gaps."
I did this and pulled a shoulder muscle 
Fuck you, medical science. Fuck you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh ... and my added advice.
Don't lick anyones elbow pit. Stop linking each other and wash your jumper after every sneeze...... k ?"
Thanks Granny. Without you, we’d all be dead |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh ... and my added advice.
Don't lick anyones elbow pit. Stop linking each other and wash your jumper after every sneeze...... k ?"
Can we lick armpits? |
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"Oh ... and my added advice.
Don't lick anyones elbow pit. Stop linking each other and wash your jumper after every sneeze...... k ?
Can we lick armpits?"
As long as you haven't sneezed into it it'll be okay.
I'm thinking of sneezing into other peoples armpits.. save on washing me jumpers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sneeze into it, then wash your hands.
Boom!
No Covid-19.
I love medical science.
It's a bit like nuclear war threat advice. Sit in the cupboard and put some cushions around the gaps."
you've finally lost it  |
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"Oh ... and my added advice.
Don't lick anyones elbow pit. Stop linking each other and wash your jumper after every sneeze...... k ?
Don't lick... wait what, is government advice kinkshaming me? "
Well it was Granny advice really so therefore more reliable and no one ever kink shamed the preferences of peculiar dirty, dirty! DIRTY! people. Tsk .......
|
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"Sneeze into it, then wash your hands.
Boom!
No Covid-19.
I love medical science.
It's a bit like nuclear war threat advice. Sit in the cupboard and put some cushions around the gaps.you've finally lost it "
Lost what ? |
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"What about those pure souls with no arms?
I've practised. So ...... if standing turn the head and sneeze over your shoulder.
If sitting bend over and sneeze behind your knee.......
Safe !"
Phew, I’m relieved I can tell ya! |
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"Sneeze into it, then wash your hands.
Boom!
No Covid-19.
I love medical science.
It's a bit like nuclear war threat advice. Sit in the cupboard and put some cushions around the gaps.
I did this and pulled a shoulder muscle
Fuck you, medical science. Fuck you"
You have two shoulders - stop moaning |
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"Oh ... and my added advice.
Don't lick anyones elbow pit. Stop linking each other and wash your jumper after every sneeze...... k ?
Don't lick... wait what, is government advice kinkshaming me?
Well it was Granny advice really so therefore more reliable and no one ever kink shamed the preferences of peculiar dirty, dirty! DIRTY! people. Tsk .......
"
#Granny4Government |
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"Can we not just walk about wearing paper bags? Would that not be more hygienic? "
That would be hugely divisive..... I mean G.M.F would be swanning around in a Fortnum's bag and the rest of the nation in ASDA.... I don't suit green. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sneeze into it, then wash your hands.
Boom!
No Covid-19.
I love medical science.
It's a bit like nuclear war threat advice. Sit in the cupboard and put some cushions around the gaps.you've finally lost it
Lost what ?"
the glass with marbles in  |
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"Sneeze into it, then wash your hands.
Boom!
No Covid-19.
I love medical science.
It's a bit like nuclear war threat advice. Sit in the cupboard and put some cushions around the gaps.you've finally lost it
Lost what ?the glass with marbles in "
Oh no. I have mine........and yours  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll just use the backs of other peoples knees. They are my nose height after all, and I'm sure they'll not notice the slime running down their calf.
P
Okay P.... and third sneeze up the crack"
Woooohooooo, you don't need to tell me twice
P |
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"I suppose you touch fewer door handles etc with your elbow.
A teeny, tiny pharmacy near us has started selling masks. Do I need one for each elbow?"
From what i've read your ordinary common or garden mask isn't worth a jot.
It's the touching of eyes , nose , mouth that lets the bugger in.
The virus goes through the mask anyway |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sneeze into it, then wash your hands.
Boom!
No Covid-19.
I love medical science.
It's a bit like nuclear war threat advice. Sit in the cupboard and put some cushions around the gaps.you've finally lost it
Lost what ?the glass with marbles in
Oh no. I have mine........and yours "
in the same glass thats not good etiquette thought you were a stickler |
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"Sneeze into it, then wash your hands.
Boom!
No Covid-19.
I love medical science.
It's a bit like nuclear war threat advice. Sit in the cupboard and put some cushions around the gaps.you've finally lost it
Lost what ?the glass with marbles in
Oh no. I have mine........and yours in the same glass thats not good etiquette thought you were a stickler "
Don't be silly. My marbles live in my skull yours are rolling around on the floor. |
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Can I sneeze into other peoples' elbows instead?
The old lady next to me on the bus...the oblivious teenage boy walking along next to me in the street with his headphones in...a small child stuck in a high chair in a cafe... |
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By *linyMan
over a year ago
Manchester/London |
"Can I sneeze into other peoples' elbows instead?
The old lady next to me on the bus...the oblivious teenage boy walking along next to me in the street with his headphones in...a small child stuck in a high chair in a cafe..."
Using their hoods is far less intrusive  |
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"Now shush ......... this is a very serious public advisory thread.I'm being seriarse woman......... now health and safety at home pick my marbles up "
No i'm leaving them rolling along with your bollocks. |
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"Can I sneeze into other peoples' elbows instead?
The old lady next to me on the bus...the oblivious teenage boy walking along next to me in the street with his headphones in...a small child stuck in a high chair in a cafe..."
Absolutely genius idea. Each sneeze would mean that the virus is carried away from you.
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"Can I sneeze into other peoples' elbows instead?
The old lady next to me on the bus...the oblivious teenage boy walking along next to me in the street with his headphones in...a small child stuck in a high chair in a cafe...
Absolutely genius idea. Each sneeze would mean that the virus is carried away from you.
"
I'm going to write to the NHS bosses now and suggest it |
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"Can I sneeze into other peoples' elbows instead?
The old lady next to me on the bus...the oblivious teenage boy walking along next to me in the street with his headphones in...a small child stuck in a high chair in a cafe...
Using their hoods is far less intrusive "
Another brilliant solution. |
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"Now shush ......... this is a very serious public advisory thread.I'm being seriarse woman......... now health and safety at home pick my marbles up
No i'm leaving them rolling along with your bollocks.god I'm not coming to your home without PPE "
Pan Pizza Extra toppings ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Now shush ......... this is a very serious public advisory thread.I'm being seriarse woman......... now health and safety at home pick my marbles up
No i'm leaving them rolling along with your bollocks.god I'm not coming to your home without PPE
Pan Pizza Extra toppings ?"
ok I'm in........... calzone? |
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