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Facing own mortality
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By *hillout OP Man
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
Is this something you've contemplated before? Either through introspection or faced with a real world scenario?
I saw a lovely chap this morning in his late 70's for a hip problem and in conversation he mentioned he had an appointment a day prior where he was told he had aggressive lung cancer. He seemed resigned about the outcome and stated he had had a good life; not wishing to have chemeo for it as he saw what it did to his daughter who passed away from the same problem 
What struck me was his tranquillity (seemingly) regarding the news and probable outcome. It both shook and touched me at the same time.
I'm unsure how i'd react in a similar situation and confess to not really have given much thought about the end of our life.
Discuss? |
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Know what you can change - accept what you cannot.
When young, like yourself , Chillout - death seems so far away.
I have contemplated my own death many times. I am not macabre.
I began to understand that death is part of life. It comes to all of us.
We only fear it as it is never discussed.
There used to be a 'death cafe' near me where people would have a right old laugh discussing much about life cycles, living and death.
More people should do it. It brings understanding and reduces fear.
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By *rctopusMan
over a year ago
Borehamwood |
I'm at the age where a couple of friends have had a cancer diagnosis. One has since died and, in the 7 years between his diagnosis and death, he got married, divorced, became a father to twins (yes, in that order!), went to all of the destinations he wanted to, met Neil Young and Dolly Parton and, when I last saw him, ravaged by this horrendous disease, the one thing that remained unchanged was his smile. He was content to die. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it is very dependent on where you are at in your life and what you've experienced in your life.
I couldnt imagine it at 30. But 10 years later, after the road I have been on, very different outlook.
Amongst other factors, your personal belief, faith, and value systems would certainly affect how you would approach this.
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I found a lump in one of my boobs a few months ago, doctor reffured me straight away but i had to wait 2 weeks for my hospital app. Longest. Wait. Ever!
Im a single mum to a 3 year old little boy, his 'dad' isnt around and is classed as a high risk to both me and my son so if the worst was the happen to me, he wouldnt go to his 'dad'. We dont see any of that side of the family due so my son only has my parents and family.
I spent many nights tossing and turning and worrying. Thankfully for no reason as the lump wasnt anything to worry about.
Im abit of a worrier in general and i do worry if something was to happen to me, if i slipped on the stairs etc. Who would know or think anything of it until i didnt reply to a few texts or phone calls.
I work at the hospital and each shift there tends to be patients with cancer who dont want any treatment or who are really poorly and on End of Life care and they never ever seem scared. I was talking to a gentleman last week and he was telling me he was married for 67 years and his wife passed last year, they chose not to have any children an they had had a happy and content life and he was ready for when his time came. A lovely gentlman. |
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It’s one of those Taboo subjects/topics we all seem to avoid.
Blissful ignorance of what is around the corner, on a piece of string we know not the length of
I’m not sure how I’d start a discussion where the outcome is not only speculation of either how or when. I’m not sure I’d want to know either.
In instance of a medical diagnosis where prognosis wasn’t particularly favourable .... that’s anyone’s guess unless such happens. Hopefully it never will..
A crystal ball... maybe that’s not such a good idea either. Love each day as it comes and be thankful for every one of them I say.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had a few injuries that scared me in the past and 1 recurring nightmare where I was convinced I was dead. Outside of those instances I've never put any real thought into my own mortality. |
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Having watched my dad die from cancer four years ago when I was only 34 and him 58 it brought it much closer to home and made me think about it more. Other relatives and friends have died over the preceding years which was sad, but actually being there to see a close family die in front of me had a big effect. As I'm now only a couple of years away from 40 I'm thinking more and more that I probably have more years behind me than in front |
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I've considered it in the form of cremation, organ donation and God parents-insurances for my off spring but I've not dwelt on the actual dying.
My lot know that in the worst case I'd rather die with dignity even if that means going abroad and that is more important to me than organ donation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had a number of experiences many years ago that caused me to re-evaluate my life. If I died tomorrow it wouldn’t concern me, except for the sadness of those that love me that I leave behind. I have had a good life and I’m content. The one thing I would not want is a prolonged death or to be a burden so I understand your client’s perspective.
I hope when it comes to my own mortality I will deal with it with equanimity. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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I've thought about it a lot this past year. I'd had the daftness of youth thinking I was immortal and untouchable because I wasn't "old". My close friend passing made me realise that wasn't the case so I've now got plans in place for if anything was to ever happen to me. I'd like to think I'd handle it with the grace she did and not regret opportunities taken, I think that's why this year I'm more determined than before to truly live life. You never really know how you'll be though, do you? |
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My view is that it's the one thing in life that we can be certain of - when we're born it's guaranteed that we're going to die. Where, when and how is anyone's guess.
I'm one of life's optimists though, and I'd rather spend every second I'm here living life to the fullest and having fun, rather than wasting time worrying when it's going to end. |
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It’s one of those things we all have to face. I’ve had a few scares in my 30s/40s that I took in my stride as there is not much you can do about it but just go with the flow. Although I think I found my strength more from being strong for others, parents and friends, who were more worried about what was happening to me due to family history / similarities
My folks have way surpassed their parents life expectancy, but it is something that has played on both their minds a long time. They now live their life to the full, as best they can as we all know the day will come eventually, one probably sooner than the other.
All we can do is live our lives, make great memories for those that will be left behind and deal with it the best we can when the time comes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s one of those things we all have to face. I’ve had a few scares in my 30s/40s that I took in my stride as there is not much you can do about it but just go with the flow. Although I think I found my strength more from being strong for others, parents and friends, who were more worried about what was happening to me due to family history / similarities
My folks have way surpassed their parents life expectancy, but it is something that has played on both their minds a long time. They now live their life to the full, as best they can as we all know the day will come eventually, one probably sooner than the other.
All we can do is live our lives, make great memories for those that will be left behind and deal with it the best we can when the time comes. "
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Dealing with severe mental health issues from a very young age means I'm never going to think about this like most people do. I assumed my time here was finite, had it all planned out. While suicide is the furthest thing from my mind now, my mortality doesn't bother me. It's something I was contemplating and planning in primary school.
These things change you.
Additionally, I remember my grandmother go from diagnosis of cancer to a horrific death in less than six months, before I turned ten. She wasn't even 60.
Life is precious these days, but I'm quite at peace with the notion of not existing. I have my affairs in order etc. Each day could be my last, and I'm ok with that.
How I go concerns me, and I've been in one situation where I should have died a pretty grim death. There are circumstances where I'd return to planning my death, to prevent that sort of thing.
My charity work means that I discuss it with the people I serve from time to time. Some are at peace with it, some aren't, some are in deep denial. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nah I already know how I'm going to die"
I know how and when I'm going to slip off my mortal coil, that's assuming nature doesn't intervene and take me sooner. |
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By *hillout OP Man
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"Know what you can change - accept what you cannot.
When young, like yourself , Chillout - death seems so far away.
I have contemplated my own death many times. I am not macabre.
I began to understand that death is part of life. It comes to all of us.
We only fear it as it is never discussed.
There used to be a 'death cafe' near me where people would have a right old laugh discussing much about life cycles, living and death.
More people should do it. It brings understanding and reduces fear.
"
Wise words |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm an eternal optimist but we talk about it often and the kids and I all plan our funerals, none of us have any issues with dying tbh been to so many funerals and faced so much death ... I have a condition which means I could die at anytime within usual about 2 hours but doesn't bother any of us, actually the last paramedic who came out said we were amazing! Laughing and joking but I told I wasn't ready to die just yet - next week would do! My sister in law could literally drop dead instantly from her medical condition (loads of her family died youngish) but she competes internationally (5th in UK & 169th in the world!) Life is very much what you make it and death is inevitable |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is this something you've contemplated before? Either through introspection or faced with a real world scenario?
I saw a lovely chap this morning in his late 70's for a hip problem and in conversation he mentioned he had an appointment a day prior where he was told he had aggressive lung cancer. He seemed resigned about the outcome and stated he had had a good life; not wishing to have chemeo for it as he saw what it did to his daughter who passed away from the same problem
What struck me was his tranquillity (seemingly) regarding the news and probable outcome. It both shook and touched me at the same time.
I'm unsure how i'd react in a similar situation and confess to not really have given much thought about the end of our life.
Discuss?"
This brought a tear to the eyes as I watched my dad accept the same fate last year, but for him to accept it I couldn’t until it spread to the brain and he thought we was all out to hurt him even when I tried to just give him a hug.... worst time of my life when I look back and wished it would just take him so that he could be at peace |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The nature of my job means I constantly am faced with my own mortality and just how instant and unpredicted it could be. I'm 50 next year, I'm well passed halfway, my death is much closer than my birth and there is no point pretending it isn't.
I'm okay with the thought of dying when my mental health is good. Absolute terrified of it when my mental health is struggling. |
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By *VineMan
over a year ago
The right place |
I don’t think I’m that worried at the thought of being dead in the future. It’s the process of dying that I don’t like to think about too much.
There are some good ways to go and some really nasty ways. |
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By *VineMan
over a year ago
The right place |
"I don’t think I’m that worried at the thought of being dead in the future. It’s the process of dying that I don’t like to think about too much.
There are some good ways to go and some really nasty ways. "
As soon as I finished typing that it reminded me of my favourite Bob Monkhouse joke.
When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my Grandfather did - not screaming and terrified like the passengers on his bus. |
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"I don’t think I’m that worried at the thought of being dead in the future. It’s the process of dying that I don’t like to think about too much.
There are some good ways to go and some really nasty ways. "
So very, very true......!
My Dad died at 68, was at work on his last day. Came home and died sat in a chair.Great shock to several around him. I would like to go like that but not just yet....!!! Feel I am on "borrowed time"...!! |
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