FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Easy to please? ..... not so easy!
Easy to please? ..... not so easy!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So I was chatting to my bestie on here. She said she wants someone to show they care by messaging her good morning every day, sending a few more messages during the day and again either messages or phone calls in the evenings. This got me thinking. Is that even possible on here?
Gentlemen aren’t you messaging multiple ladies? Same to you ladies? Am I being cynical? I often read messages but then don’t answer them straight away. This is also not always appreciated.
What are your experiences? What would be your ideal way to communicate? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The way I see it is that if there’s someone you’re more ‘invested in’ than others then there’s nothing wrong with all that.
If it’s just random chit chat then no.. |
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It is entirely possible I'm finding, I'm hoping it stays like it long term too as i like to think I've made proper friends and not just good time friends.
I like the connection with people, not just a one time thing although that is also ok too.
I think it depends on if you take those messages away from here and onto a different platform as well as it's easier on an instant messaging app and the phone. |
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Anything is possible anywhere. I get some guys who message me every time I'm online regardless of if I've responded to their previous message or not!
We can all use the site as we choose, that's the beauty of it. No one size fits all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I talk to several folk regularly on here and would generally send a good morning message as well as several more through the day. I do it because we are friendly and I want us to keep in touch, maybe even fuck  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So how long can someone take to reply to one of your messages before you start thinking they’re not interested?"
Fab is differnt from real life in that respect. If we've been chatting already then I'll message and expect a reply when they get a chance, no pressure. If it's someone new I'll send a message then delete it from my sent messages and try to forget about it, they may reply or they may not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"6 minutes tops 
Yeah, yeah. But I’ve heard of some on here who do need an instant answer "
For me if I’ve noticed them on and off here over any length of time ie over the space of a few days and they’ve not replied I’d assume they’re not interested |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So how long can someone take to reply to one of your messages before you start thinking they’re not interested?"
I'd say if they read it and don't reply within 5 minutes then that's a no! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So how long can someone take to reply to one of your messages before you start thinking they’re not interested?
Fab is differnt from real life in that respect. If we've been chatting already then I'll message and expect a reply when they get a chance, no pressure. If it's someone new I'll send a message then delete it from my sent messages and try to forget about it, they may reply or they may not."
This is more me. But if I feel like it I’ll keep sending them messages even if they have replied to the first one  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So how long can someone take to reply to one of your messages before you start thinking they’re not interested?
Fab is differnt from real life in that respect. If we've been chatting already then I'll message and expect a reply when they get a chance, no pressure. If it's someone new I'll send a message then delete it from my sent messages and try to forget about it, they may reply or they may not.
This is more me. But if I feel like it I’ll keep sending them messages even if they have replied to the first one "
* have not |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You have made me sound so needy haha!
I dont think it is possible on here, well not for me anyway. There is too much temptation...."
Did I even mention your name?  I was going for low key and not saying it was you. Oh well. IT’S ANGEL—EYES EVERYONE |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So how long can someone take to reply to one of your messages before you start thinking they’re not interested?
Fab is differnt from real life in that respect. If we've been chatting already then I'll message and expect a reply when they get a chance, no pressure. If it's someone new I'll send a message then delete it from my sent messages and try to forget about it, they may reply or they may not.
This is more me. But if I feel like it I’ll keep sending them messages even if they have replied to the first one
* have not "
If you guys are already friends and you have something to say to your friend then that's sweet. If your second and third messages are along the lines of "why ain't you replied yet?" then I would maybe dial it back   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes very possible as that is what I like to do if there is a spark and usually they are far away, problem is people get bored with this and then eventually stop messaging |
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For me the frequency of chat depends on the dynamics of my relationship with the person - some will be a few messages every so often, some a lot more regularly. I do tend to switch to WhatsApp or similar with friends because I prefer it to messaging on here, and I do chat to certain people daily. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I was chatting to my bestie on here. She said she wants someone to show they care by messaging her good morning every day, sending a few more messages during the day and again either messages or phone calls in the evenings. This got me thinking. Is that even possible on here?
Gentlemen aren’t you messaging multiple ladies? Same to you ladies? Am I being cynical? I often read messages but then don’t answer them straight away. This is also not always appreciated.
What are your experiences? What would be your ideal way to communicate?"
That’s not showing you care, that’s needy. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So I was chatting to my bestie on here. She said she wants someone to show they care by messaging her good morning every day, sending a few more messages during the day and again either messages or phone calls in the evenings. This got me thinking. Is that even possible on here?
Gentlemen aren’t you messaging multiple ladies? Same to you ladies? Am I being cynical? I often read messages but then don’t answer them straight away. This is also not always appreciated.
What are your experiences? What would be your ideal way to communicate?
That’s not showing you care, that’s needy. "
You needy then? |
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By *ndrew CareyMan
over a year ago
Peterborough, Cambridgeshire & Lincolnshire |
"So I was chatting to my bestie on here. She said she wants someone to show they care by messaging her good morning every day, sending a few more messages during the day and again either messages or phone calls in the evenings. This got me thinking. Is that even possible on here?
Gentlemen aren’t you messaging multiple ladies? Same to you ladies? Am I being cynical? I often read messages but then don’t answer them straight away. This is also not always appreciated.
What are your experiences? What would be your ideal way to communicate?"
Depends on the person and the situation. The people I communicate the most with are people I've seen before or people I'm about to see.
Always try to minimise comms as I appreciate ladies get hundreds of messages and I do not want to add to it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is interesting ...
I didn’t want that, cynicism was a huge factor if truth be known and it was self preservation after being burnt.
However, sometimes you can meet someone and have that ‘moment’ where you think this is someone you’d like to have something a little ‘more’ with. Thus, with that a message during the day would be lovely.
I do think it’s possible, if you meet someone with the same moral compass x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nah, we not doing none of that until contact numbers are exchanged. I use this site to make initial contact only, once attraction & like mindedness are established if I don't get the digits then I'm not pursuing it.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think if you are genuinely interested in the person you make the effort ,just because it's fab doesn't mean conversation always has to be centred around the shagging.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I was chatting to my bestie on here. She said she wants someone to show they care by messaging her good morning every day, sending a few more messages during the day and again either messages or phone calls in the evenings. This got me thinking. Is that even possible on here?
Gentlemen aren’t you messaging multiple ladies? Same to you ladies? Am I being cynical? I often read messages but then don’t answer them straight away. This is also not always appreciated.
What are your experiences? What would be your ideal way to communicate?
That’s not showing you care, that’s needy. "
Everyone has their own idea of needy. To me this is a little bit much unless I was in a relationship, even then it's a bit much. I like good morning messages after that I'm easy because I can be rubbish at replying but that's just me. Everyone is different |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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With Sir only on and off of jere depending on what we are doing in day to day life.
Others/potential meets we dont message daily simply because people have a life away from fab, and we cant always be ready for a meet when initial messaging is going on so feel a bit iffy always messaging incase we come across wrong by messaging constantly. Every other day we will though or week depending on the people we speak to. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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Even for me (and I love receiving messages/chatting with people) it might be a bit much. I think you show you care/you're interested by taking time out of your day to message, not by following an expected script (But D, if you stopped messaging good morning I will cry non stop. So don't. ). I like it when people message me when they think about me, I don't mind multiple messages from people.
People can message multiple women/men/couples/tv's whatever, it doesn't mean that they are less interested or attracted to another, it just means they like talking to people and there's nothing wrong with that. If I was having a serious/important conversation with someone and they kept leaving the chat to talk to another I'd get a bit upset and lose interest but otherwise, no not really. |
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Sometimes it’s better to get a message out of the blue than if it feeling like a schedule. “I saw this and thought of you” really means a lot.
Perhaps more important is the whole thing is a process of getting to know someone and that’s fucking awesome |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes it’s better to get a message out of the blue than if it feeling like a schedule. “I saw this and thought of you” really means a lot.
Perhaps more important is the whole thing is a process of getting to know someone and that’s fucking awesome "
Hit the nail on the head fella |
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I’m in the throes of ‘getting to know you’ text and phone conversations. I’m pretty adept at assessing if the conversation is genuine and just me or if I’m one in a chain (in which case I sometimes back off)
I have to say it’s currently a very pleasant journey!  leading up to the next meeting soon
Yes; I also chat with others but NOT at this level |
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Sometimes getting involved in a conversation when there are other life issues ongoing is difficult... knowing you have built up the connection over time knowing they are a message away is what’s great about this site. And being relaxed enough with that situation is clearly important. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In the initial first flush of "interest", this is entirely possible. Could it be sustained throughout a Fab relationship? I'm also far too cynical to believe it. I wonder whether I'd find it somewhat cloying after a while, too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I chat to several ladies, but if I don't receive a response after two or three consecutive messages from me, I stop because I then feel I'm pestering. .. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s impossible for me to spread myself evenly. One guy always has more of my interest and attention. Like one I’m meeting shortly is the one I speak to the most away from the site.
I always get overwhelmed if I’m honest. Never know who to meet first and often end up meeting nobody. |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
Yes it's possible, there's usually one person I message a lot more than the others.
Who that person is changes over time for various reasons, but there's usually that one favourite person at any given time. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sometimes it’s better to get a message out of the blue than if it feeling like a schedule. “I saw this and thought of you” really means a lot.
Perhaps more important is the whole thing is a process of getting to know someone and that’s fucking awesome "
I like this |
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"Sometimes getting involved in a conversation when there are other life issues ongoing is difficult... knowing you have built up the connection over time knowing they are a message away is what’s great about this site. And being relaxed enough with that situation is clearly important. "
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
I like someone who is consistent but not needy.
A few messages a day is fine. Bombarding me throughout the day is not. Even fellas I see don’t get that much attention from me.
I’m a cool cucumber, I don’t text bomb fellas. I have a life of my own and it’s busy and if they need constant reassurance from me that I find them hot, sexy, and fuckable then they aren’t the fella for me. |
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"For me the frequency of chat depends on the dynamics of my relationship with the person - some will be a few messages every so often, some a lot more regularly. I do tend to switch to WhatsApp or similar with friends because I prefer it to messaging on here, and I do chat to certain people daily."
Dynamic and Synergie are they key! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I was chatting to my bestie on here. She said she wants someone to show they care by messaging her good morning every day, sending a few more messages during the day and again either messages or phone calls in the evenings. This got me thinking. Is that even possible on here?
Gentlemen aren’t you messaging multiple ladies? Same to you ladies? Am I being cynical? I often read messages but then don’t answer them straight away. This is also not always appreciated.
What are your experiences? What would be your ideal way to communicate?"
I'm not messaging multiple ladies. None, in fact, at the moment. I'd be happy to stay in contact to the extent your friend describes, and I would think a lot of men would too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes it’s better to get a message out of the blue than if it feeling like a schedule. “I saw this and thought of you” really means a lot.
Perhaps more important is the whole thing is a process of getting to know someone and that’s fucking awesome
I like this "
You can have both, you can have morning messages and throughout the day and that be an ongoing part of getting to know each other.
I like waking up to a morning message and knowing someone is thinking of me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a friend that I message very frequently. We often say good morning and good night to each other. It’s not expected but just the way it is."
I communicate differently with different friends. I don’t have an ideal way. I like to feel a degree of reciprocity. If we continue to be friends and enjoy the communication we have then it is fine by me. If I needed to change something so it worked better for them I’m very happy to receive feedback. Similarly I’d also give feedback if it wasn’t working for me. |
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By *B69Woman
over a year ago
Wiltshire |
"Sometimes getting involved in a conversation when there are other life issues ongoing is difficult... knowing you have built up the connection over time knowing they are a message away is what’s great about this site. And being relaxed enough with that situation is clearly important. "
This is so my thinking |
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