FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Struggling...
Struggling...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So the last few days it's been obvious that some people are really struggling and triggered.
There are simple things we can do, such as log off for a while, look after ourselves ect...
But i just to say that there is help available.
I don't think we can post links and phone numbers but a quick Google search will take you to them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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ive been away for a while so sorry, but.. whats been going on? example of trigger ure talking of i mean? bad ppl will get booted by the community in general? |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"ive been away for a while so sorry, but.. whats been going on? example of trigger ure talking of i mean? bad ppl will get booted by the community in general?"
I think a lot of it has been triggered by the Caroline Flack suicide and everything surrounding it...
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"It deffo feels like a different fab then I joined over the past few days
Don't be put off, we're all capable of getting emotive over certain subjects.  x"
I get that and it’s interesting to see how it’s changed and what will change next it’s what’s to be expected with such a large group of people with different opinions and feisty spirits. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It deffo feels like a different fab then I joined over the past few days "
This is how I feel.
I'm not saying we all need to agree and be lovey dovey but its just felt uncomfortable at times this weekend. X |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"It deffo feels like a different fab then I joined over the past few days
Don't be put off, we're all capable of getting emotive over certain subjects. x
I get that and it’s interesting to see how it’s changed and what will change next it’s what’s to be expected with such a large group of people with different opinions and feisty spirits. "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"thats awful 
It's touched a few raw nerves...everything will be alright in the morning "
And its been useful for some to express how they are feeling or reach out but for others it's been a reason to lash out. |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"thats awful
It's touched a few raw nerves...everything will be alright in the morning
And its been useful for some to express how they are feeling or reach out but for others it's been a reason to lash out. "
You are right lovely lady x |
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"ive been away for a while so sorry, but.. whats been going on? example of trigger ure talking of i mean? bad ppl will get booted by the community in general?
I think a lot of it has been triggered by the Caroline Flack suicide and everything surrounding it...
"
,
People are working their way through all that and processing their thoughts. What they're saying and thinking now might change as the days pass, more information emerges and they have time to reflect. I think discussion and hearing and listening to others views is important even though it might be painful or directly opposed to your way of thinking. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"ive been away for a while so sorry, but.. whats been going on? example of trigger ure talking of i mean? bad ppl will get booted by the community in general?
I think a lot of it has been triggered by the Caroline Flack suicide and everything surrounding it...
,
People are working their way through all that and processing their thoughts. What they're saying and thinking now might change as the days pass, more information emerges and they have time to reflect. I think discussion and hearing and listening to others views is important even though it might be painful or directly opposed to your way of thinking."
I totally agree and that's why I posted this.
I think it's important to do what you said above.
I just wanted to remind people to check in with themselves.
Is there a way that we can post a link or two? |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"ive been away for a while so sorry, but.. whats been going on? example of trigger ure talking of i mean? bad ppl will get booted by the community in general?
I think a lot of it has been triggered by the Caroline Flack suicide and everything surrounding it...
,
People are working their way through all that and processing their thoughts. What they're saying and thinking now might change as the days pass, more information emerges and they have time to reflect. I think discussion and hearing and listening to others views is important even though it might be painful or directly opposed to your way of thinking."
,
You are quite right I think it has opened old wounds for some. X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"ive been away for a while so sorry, but.. whats been going on? example of trigger ure talking of i mean? bad ppl will get booted by the community in general?
I think a lot of it has been triggered by the Caroline Flack suicide and everything surrounding it...
,
People are working their way through all that and processing their thoughts. What they're saying and thinking now might change as the days pass, more information emerges and they have time to reflect. I think discussion and hearing and listening to others views is important even though it might be painful or directly opposed to your way of thinking.,
You are quite right I think it has opened old wounds for some. X"
Yes I think it has. X |
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"ive been away for a while so sorry, but.. whats been going on? example of trigger ure talking of i mean? bad ppl will get booted by the community in general?
I think a lot of it has been triggered by the Caroline Flack suicide and everything surrounding it...
,
People are working their way through all that and processing their thoughts. What they're saying and thinking now might change as the days pass, more information emerges and they have time to reflect. I think discussion and hearing and listening to others views is important even though it might be painful or directly opposed to your way of thinking.
I totally agree and that's why I posted this.
I think it's important to do what you said above.
I just wanted to remind people to check in with themselves.
Is there a way that we can post a link or two? "
No, there isn't but you can mention key words that people can Google that will lead them to information that might help. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"ive been away for a while so sorry, but.. whats been going on? example of trigger ure talking of i mean? bad ppl will get booted by the community in general?
I think a lot of it has been triggered by the Caroline Flack suicide and everything surrounding it...
,
People are working their way through all that and processing their thoughts. What they're saying and thinking now might change as the days pass, more information emerges and they have time to reflect. I think discussion and hearing and listening to others views is important even though it might be painful or directly opposed to your way of thinking.
I totally agree and that's why I posted this.
I think it's important to do what you said above.
I just wanted to remind people to check in with themselves.
Is there a way that we can post a link or two?
No, there isn't but you can mention key words that people can Google that will lead them to information that might help."
Thank you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Everyone is into mental health awareness until it involves dealing with the actual difficult symptoms and behaviours caused by severe mental illness.
This was something I read on Twitter and I’m afraid I think it’s very true on the forums.
It’s easy to pay lip service to mental health issues but when it comes to individuals, most just block because they don’t want to get personally involved. |
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"Everyone is into mental health awareness until it involves dealing with the actual difficult symptoms and behaviours caused by severe mental illness.
This was something I read on Twitter and I’m afraid I think it’s very true on the forums.
It’s easy to pay lip service to mental health issues but when it comes to individuals, most just block because they don’t want to get personally involved."
I'm sure some do just block, but when I mentioned I was triggered on a thread last weekend, several forum users checked up on me. Some I had never interacted with before with offers of help and someone to vent to. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Everyone is into mental health awareness until it involves dealing with the actual difficult symptoms and behaviours caused by severe mental illness.
This was something I read on Twitter and I’m afraid I think it’s very true on the forums.
It’s easy to pay lip service to mental health issues but when it comes to individuals, most just block because they don’t want to get personally involved."
It's very tricky though as no one really knows what anyone is really dealing with.
Iv always found if people reach out on the forums or in private support is always given.
That is exactly why I posted this to remind people there is help available and on here isn't always the best place to find it.
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"Is there a way that we can post a link or two? "
yes there is
You can link to:
Any well recognised news site (bbc, times, telegraph, sun, notw, cnn and all the rest)
Youtube
Lovehoney
Wikipedia
via the forum rules
https://www.fabswingers.com/content/forum-rules |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is there a way that we can post a link or two?
yes there is
You can link to:
Any well recognised news site (bbc, times, telegraph, sun, notw, cnn and all the rest)
Youtube
Lovehoney
Wikipedia
via the forum rules
https://www.fabswingers.com/content/forum-rules"
Thank you but I meant specific support sites. |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"Is there a way that we can post a link or two?
yes there is
You can link to:
Any well recognised news site (bbc, times, telegraph, sun, notw, cnn and all the rest)
Youtube
Lovehoney
Wikipedia
via the forum rules
https://www.fabswingers.com/content/forum-rules"
I think it's more sort of helplines, but thank you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is there a way that we can post a link or two?
yes there is
You can link to:
Any well recognised news site (bbc, times, telegraph, sun, notw, cnn and all the rest)
Youtube
Lovehoney
Wikipedia
via the forum rules
https://www.fabswingers.com/content/forum-rules
I think it's more sort of helplines, but thank you "
Yes that's what I meant. X |
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Some triggers aren’t so easy to discuss. And those that inadvertently do the triggering aren’t always that interested in supporting you afterwards, especially if they have their own baggage and other priorities.
I find it very hard to discuss what happened to me. Trust isn’t easy, and I’m questioning whether it was a mistake to put that faith in someone. There’s a part of me that believes that it’s a good thing to be open about our vulnerabilities, but when people don’t really respect them it causes more damage than if you’d not opened up in the first place. It’s tricky. Difficult.
I’m not even sure what I’m trying to say so I’ll park this here. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Some triggers aren’t so easy to discuss. And those that inadvertently do the triggering aren’t always that interested in supporting you afterwards, especially if they have their own baggage and other priorities.
I find it very hard to discuss what happened to me. Trust isn’t easy, and I’m questioning whether it was a mistake to put that faith in someone. There’s a part of me that believes that it’s a good thing to be open about our vulnerabilities, but when people don’t really respect them it causes more damage than if you’d not opened up in the first place. It’s tricky. Difficult.
I’m not even sure what I’m trying to say so I’ll park this here. "
I understand what you are saying.
That is exactly why I posted this, to remind people there is help available.
I hope you are ok. X |
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"Some triggers aren’t so easy to discuss. And those that inadvertently do the triggering aren’t always that interested in supporting you afterwards, especially if they have their own baggage and other priorities.
I find it very hard to discuss what happened to me. Trust isn’t easy, and I’m questioning whether it was a mistake to put that faith in someone. There’s a part of me that believes that it’s a good thing to be open about our vulnerabilities, but when people don’t really respect them it causes more damage than if you’d not opened up in the first place. It’s tricky. Difficult.
I’m not even sure what I’m trying to say so I’ll park this here. "
I hear you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some triggers aren’t so easy to discuss. And those that inadvertently do the triggering aren’t always that interested in supporting you afterwards, especially if they have their own baggage and other priorities.
I find it very hard to discuss what happened to me. Trust isn’t easy, and I’m questioning whether it was a mistake to put that faith in someone. There’s a part of me that believes that it’s a good thing to be open about our vulnerabilities, but when people don’t really respect them it causes more damage than if you’d not opened up in the first place. It’s tricky. Difficult.
I’m not even sure what I’m trying to say so I’ll park this here. "
This definitely xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ive been triggered all weekend not only caroline flack but a personal suicide. Two in two days is too much for me to handle i have my cpn coming round at three"
I'm so sorry.
I hope the CPN visit helps. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Suicides don’t trigger me anymore. I’m from fucking Bridgend so I’m used to them. Even found one person. Lost 7 friends to it and many more acquaintances. 2008 I was going to at least 1 funeral a week.
It’s brave yet selfish.
I’ve kept a tally in my head over the years, I’ve found more women will walk into the sea to do it, men tend to hang themselves or use the railway line. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Suicides don’t trigger me anymore. I’m from fucking Bridgend so I’m used to them. Even found one person. Lost 7 friends to it and many more acquaintances. 2008 I was going to at least 1 funeral a week.
It’s brave yet selfish.
I’ve kept a tally in my head over the years, I’ve found more women will walk into the sea to do it, men tend to hang themselves or use the railway line. "
 sorry you have been through that. I'm really sorry but I'm not really sure what to say. I hope you are ok. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Suicides don’t trigger me anymore. I’m from fucking Bridgend so I’m used to them. Even found one person. Lost 7 friends to it and many more acquaintances. 2008 I was going to at least 1 funeral a week.
It’s brave yet selfish.
I’ve kept a tally in my head over the years, I’ve found more women will walk into the sea to do it, men tend to hang themselves or use the railway line.
sorry you have been through that. I'm really sorry but I'm not really sure what to say. I hope you are ok. X"
It’s fine. I was a crime and trauma scene cleaner a few years back so I’ve cleaned every type of suicide aftermath. Kind of hardened to it.
The one that gets me was about 15 years back, my great grandmothers friend, she was in her 70’s and an identical twin, they were both widows and one was diagnosed with terminal cancer so they tied themselves together and walked into the sea in Porthcawl not far from where I live and they drowned. |
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"Suicides don’t trigger me anymore. I’m from fucking Bridgend so I’m used to them. Even found one person. Lost 7 friends to it and many more acquaintances. 2008 I was going to at least 1 funeral a week.
It’s brave yet selfish.
I’ve kept a tally in my head over the years, I’ve found more women will walk into the sea to do it, men tend to hang themselves or use the railway line. "
I remember the Bridgend suicides did they ever get to the bottom as to why so many happened in such a relative time?
Can’t listen to local boy in photograph without thinking of them strangely. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s been a hard weekend reading some of the posts. I’ve not said much as dealing with my own feelings is enough for me.
But I hope those that need help can find support x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s been a hard weekend reading some of the posts. I’ve not said much as dealing with my own feelings is enough for me.
But I hope those that need help can find support x
Hugs xx"
Thanks swing x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had as a status..after recent news events if you a feeling low talk to someone. Suicide is not the answer.
Lots of messages in support and helped a few get things of three mind. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just want to say if I have caused any offence over the weekend it never meant to cause anyone upset or hurt it was purely out of concern and apologise if anyone was hurt or upset in anyway I am not a bully I I wholeheartedly apologise to anyone affected by my comments |
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I always get slightly triggered by things like this. As someone with depression and having lost someone I thought I might spend my life with as well as family members to suicide, it's a very brave thing to do.
I also don't think it's selfish at all. Sometimes it's a permanent solution to a permanent problem. They are all in a better place and I have to acknowledge they did what they felt was right for them. Sometimes we all have to make a choice that's right for us rather than right for the others in our lives. |
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"I always get slightly triggered by things like this. As someone with depression and having lost someone I thought I might spend my life with as well as family members to suicide, it's a very brave thing to do.
I also don't think it's selfish at all. Sometimes it's a permanent solution to a permanent problem. They are all in a better place and I have to acknowledge they did what they felt was right for them. Sometimes we all have to make a choice that's right for us rather than right for the others in our lives."
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"I think when used judiciously, the forum can be an amazing place to find support and like-minded friends. Although it can also exacerbate issues."
Several triggers this weekend, but special thanks to one special lady for her support. Xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just want to say if I have caused any offence over the weekend it never meant to cause anyone upset or hurt it was purely out of concern and apologise if anyone was hurt or upset in anyway I am not a bully I I wholeheartedly apologise to anyone affected by my comments"
I wasn't aiming this at anyone and we all process and deal with differently.
X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Suicides don’t trigger me anymore. I’m from fucking Bridgend so I’m used to them. Even found one person. Lost 7 friends to it and many more acquaintances. 2008 I was going to at least 1 funeral a week.
It’s brave yet selfish.
I’ve kept a tally in my head over the years, I’ve found more women will walk into the sea to do it, men tend to hang themselves or use the railway line. "
Sorry to hear this - lost 3 in the last 2 years myself x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I even had a suicidel girlfriend once who threatened to jump in front of a train when i said i was breaking up with her. That was difficult but i got her through it in the end.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would love to say a lot more than I do with so many people preaching about being kind. But not always so on these forums. I’ve been verbally attacked 3 times this week!!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would love to say a lot more than I do with so many people preaching about being kind. But not always so on these forums. I’ve been verbally attacked 3 times this week!!! "
I'm sorry that has happened. Xx |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"I would love to say a lot more than I do with so many people preaching about being kind. But not always so on these forums. I’ve been verbally attacked 3 times this week!!! "
,
That's not good....x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would love to say a lot more than I do with so many people preaching about being kind. But not always so on these forums. I’ve been verbally attacked 3 times this week!!! "
You are best to chat with friends via pm then on the forum.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As some may know I'm very outspoken about vile trolls on here, and that you never know how much someone is struggling behind closed doors, yet that has lead to more abuse, lots of people blocking me and receiving very few messages these days compared to what other women say they receive.
I get accused of moaning all the time when all I try to do is stand up for what is right.
I wasn't in a good place when I joined fab and I'm in a worse place now, but I would like to thank all the people who have shown kindness to me and asked how i am. I get the feeling I'm seen as ungrateful by some, but even if I don't reply it means a lot to lnow there are some decent people on this site.
I do hope Caroline's death migjt encourage some on here to think before judging others. I'm trying to use this site less in the hope it will improve my wellbeing.
I don't think I've ever watched anything Caroline flack has presented, yet her death has really affected me.
Feeling alone and as if there's no way up and that everyone hates me is something I identify with.
I may preach, but i'm never nasty unless someone attacks me. I'll always stand up for myself. |
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"Suicides don’t trigger me anymore. I’m from fucking Bridgend so I’m used to them. Even found one person. Lost 7 friends to it and many more acquaintances. 2008 I was going to at least 1 funeral a week.
It’s brave yet selfish.
I’ve kept a tally in my head over the years, I’ve found more women will walk into the sea to do it, men tend to hang themselves or use the railway line.
Sorry to hear this - lost 3 in the last 2 years myself x"
I'm not wanting to sound morbid (I call it black irony) but I too am a little de-sensitised to suicide.
To Caroline Flack and her family I'm deeply sorry.
My last funeral however was my cousin, hung himself on a door knob, potential auto-erotic asphyxiation. We'll never know. Surely that's not a good way to go? He was 39 and had 2 children.
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