Here's the thing. Sometimes people message us saying we have nice pictures. We can see from their profile that we aren't compatible but to respond to a compliment saying we aren't isn't only rude but assumes they're interested which they might not be. So, we respond thanking them, they then sometimes reply back asking to meet and when we decline they tell us we've wasted their time by entering into conversation.
How much easier and less of a waste of time for them if we'd just blocked in the first place? |
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"Just seemed a bit of an extreme reaction, I'm sure I'm not what they are looking for, I was just being appreciative "
You can be appreciative to a waitress serving your meal in a restaurant by saying "thank you" and giving a tip
It doesn't mean she'll give you a blow job in return...
And why should she? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just seemed a bit of an extreme reaction, I'm sure I'm not what they are looking for, I was just being appreciative "
Try dealing with that 100 times a day and then see how much time you have spent on it. Then see if you enjoyed the experience. |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
"Just seemed a bit of an extreme reaction, I'm sure I'm not what they are looking for, I was just being appreciative
You can be appreciative to a waitress serving your meal in a restaurant by saying "thank you" and giving a tip
It doesn't mean she'll give you a blow job in return...
And why should she?"
No but she probably wouldn't kick you out of the restaurant either.
I don't think the OP has done anything wrong in complimenting someone, and he didn't say he expected anything in return. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just seemed a bit of an extreme reaction, I'm sure I'm not what they are looking for, I was just being appreciative
You can be appreciative to a waitress serving your meal in a restaurant by saying "thank you" and giving a tip
It doesn't mean she'll give you a blow job in return...
And why should she?
No but she probably wouldn't kick you out of the restaurant either.
I don't think the OP has done anything wrong in complimenting someone, and he didn't say he expected anything in return. "
This  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some people don't want to set dick pics. By messaging with your avatar set to one you force others to see yours. You'd get arrested if you did that in public so be grateful all you get us a block.
And why the fuck are so many men obsessed with their dicks?
Mr
|
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"I take your point, I just think even on a swinging site it's nice to be nice, its seems I'm in the minority "
Unfortunately on this side of the fence that attitude rarely works, because many take any positive interaction as a meet. Not necessarily you, OP, but how am I to know which "nice pictures" message I should or shouldn't reply to to avoid getting abuse? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just seemed a bit of an extreme reaction, I'm sure I'm not what they are looking for, I was just being appreciative
You can be appreciative to a waitress serving your meal in a restaurant by saying "thank you" and giving a tip
It doesn't mean she'll give you a blow job in return...
And why should she?
No but she probably wouldn't kick you out of the restaurant either.
I don't think the OP has done anything wrong in complimenting someone, and he didn't say he expected anything in return. "
That's your view. My view is he had forced his unwelcome dick pic into my life. Perfect reason for a block.
Mr |
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By *epsonWoman
over a year ago
Biddulph |
"I dont think you can be arrested for having a dick pic on your profile "
Nobody suggested you could be arrested. If you listen, they are saying many people don't like dick pics as avatars. |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
"Just seemed a bit of an extreme reaction, I'm sure I'm not what they are looking for, I was just being appreciative
You can be appreciative to a waitress serving your meal in a restaurant by saying "thank you" and giving a tip
It doesn't mean she'll give you a blow job in return...
And why should she?
No but she probably wouldn't kick you out of the restaurant either.
I don't think the OP has done anything wrong in complimenting someone, and he didn't say he expected anything in return.
That's your view. My view is he had forced his unwelcome dick pic into my life. Perfect reason for a block.
Mr"
I didn't say anyone was wrong to block either.
You can turn images off in settings |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Thing is OP - they don't know you, don't know if you have an ulterior motive by opening with "just a compliment", don't know if you're the type to be abusive if they respond saying "sorry not my type" (and some guys are) - so by doing what they did they are protecting themselves and also stopping you wasting your time by messaging further (something else they don't know whether you'll do if they don't reply).
It may seem rude taken out of context but it really isn't when put in context - you've done nothing wrong, but nor have they - they're just choosing to operate their profile how they choose to, just as you do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just seemed a bit of an extreme reaction, I'm sure I'm not what they are looking for, I was just being appreciative
You can be appreciative to a waitress serving your meal in a restaurant by saying "thank you" and giving a tip
It doesn't mean she'll give you a blow job in return...
And why should she?
No but she probably wouldn't kick you out of the restaurant either.
I don't think the OP has done anything wrong in complimenting someone, and he didn't say he expected anything in return.
That's your view. My view is he had forced his unwelcome dick pic into my life. Perfect reason for a block.
Mr
I didn't say anyone was wrong to block either.
You can turn images off in settings "
Except we may want to see other people's images? An avatar of genitalia (male or female) is a pretty much guaranteed block when messaging us. We get that some people like that and some people want to have those pics but it just isn't us.
I know you haven't said there was anything wrong in a block but the OP seems surprised that he has had this reaction. Then, when he's told a likely reason for why, he (and others) are defending his avatar. He is totally free to have a cock as his avatar but people are also free to assume he is one and block him. |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
"Just seemed a bit of an extreme reaction, I'm sure I'm not what they are looking for, I was just being appreciative
You can be appreciative to a waitress serving your meal in a restaurant by saying "thank you" and giving a tip
It doesn't mean she'll give you a blow job in return...
And why should she?
No but she probably wouldn't kick you out of the restaurant either.
I don't think the OP has done anything wrong in complimenting someone, and he didn't say he expected anything in return.
That's your view. My view is he had forced his unwelcome dick pic into my life. Perfect reason for a block.
Mr
I didn't say anyone was wrong to block either.
You can turn images off in settings
Except we may want to see other people's images? An avatar of genitalia (male or female) is a pretty much guaranteed block when messaging us. We get that some people like that and some people want to have those pics but it just isn't us.
I know you haven't said there was anything wrong in a block but the OP seems surprised that he has had this reaction. Then, when he's told a likely reason for why, he (and others) are defending his avatar. He is totally free to have a cock as his avatar but people are also free to assume he is one and block him."
Again, we agree. |
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"I take your point, I just think even on a swinging site it's nice to be nice, its seems I'm in the minority "
I
You're not in the minority. We usually respond to compliments by thanking people and if further down the line they're rude to us we deal with it graciously.
|
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"I dont think you can be arrested for having a dick pic on your profile "
No, you can't. You should have whatever picture you want as your avatar and you should run your profile however you want. The thing is everyone else has that right and some people use the block button more frequently than others. A block isn't personal although it might feel it. People often don't think of the profile they're responding to as having a human being behind it (and that's from both sides of the exchange) I think if we all kept that in mind and the possible effects our messages or actions might have in those people we might respond differently. |
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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago
south east |
At the end of the day them blocking you isn't going to change your life so why worry about it or look for reasoning ..they obviously are not interested in conversing with you ..it happens  |
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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago
south east |
"No it wont change my life, it's not the end of the world it just rude when someone is being nice "
I don't really see it as rude ..they may have been polite and answered others in the past which descended into abusive messages (happens alot) now they just delete and block those that don't interest them ..nothing rude in that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No it wont change my life, it's not the end of the world it just rude when someone is being nice "
Ok just to put it in black and white, do you possibly not realise that most couples get hundreds of messages that all say the same thing, a compliment is nice but when it becomes samey then it just feels like...... oh that line again..... one line messages without substance are generally overlooked and deleted (us personally) it states in our profile about one liners, its just not a preference
just saying |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont agree with you, they could just have deleted the message it's more trouble for them to block and I wasnt expecting a reply "
But if you are not to they're liking the reason people block is to stop repeat messages from further down the line, if you aren't for them then they're minds wont change in a couple of weeks when you may forget you've messaged them and try again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I take your point, I just think even on a swinging site it's nice to be nice, its seems I'm in the minority "
Most are nice but saves tome you will have to get used to that block button bud |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Also as said before most guys start out nice until they receive a message saying “thanks but your not for us” then the abuse comes (not in anyway suggesting your like that) but it happens ALOT so the block button is easier and less aggro |
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By * and BCouple
over a year ago
Durham |
If people block us we take it as another filter both ways, we weren't for them so they wouldn't be for us so a block is good for all. We do compliment people for a picture or a profile that is out of the ordinary, doesn't mean we want to jump into bed there and then, a nice bit of chat to see where it leads is always the agenda. So for people to say we messaged a compliment and wasn't looking for anything more is a bit much to believe in our opinion. If we make contact it's because we like what we see and read in the profile, yes read, as we read every profile before a message, thinking we might match.
Happy swinging everyone, feel the love |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well I can only say that they were miles away and would not have been interested in me at all, so I had no expectations, they were great pictures and I thought they deserved praise. In my opinion it was rude and totally unnecessary to block someone |
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"Well I can only say that they were miles away and would not have been interested in me at all, so I had no expectations, they were great pictures and I thought they deserved praise. In my opinion it was rude and totally unnecessary to block someone "
It's a shame that this has upset you. Hope your experience of fab improves. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Well I can only say that they were miles away and would not have been interested in me at all, so I had no expectations, they were great pictures and I thought they deserved praise. In my opinion it was rude and totally unnecessary to block someone "
We used to proactively block people we'd never be interested in. We also sometimes block those sending unsolicited messages. It even says we might in our profile.
There are far more important things to get stressed about OP.
The actions of a total stranger amount to diddly squat in the grand scheme of the universe.
They didn't ask you to message so you can't complain about their response.
Do you reply to every bit of junk mail that comes through your email inbox or click the 'unsubscribe' option to prevent further contact?
A |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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If my message was considered junk mail then that's fine, just delete it. Remember I didn't say anything rude or aggressive unlike a lot of the messages people seem to send |
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"Well I can only say that they were miles away and would not have been interested in me at all, so I had no expectations, they were great pictures and I thought they deserved praise. In my opinion it was rude and totally unnecessary to block someone "
Unfortunately your opinion doesn’t count regarding how other people deal with their mail, they blocked, that’s it, done, gone, ended.
No matter how many other opinions you get it won’t make a blind bit of difference to that particular couple. |
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"Some people don't want to set dick pics. By messaging with your avatar set to one you force others to see yours. You'd get arrested if you did that in public so be grateful all you get us a block.
And why the fuck are so many men obsessed with their dicks?
Mr
"
Absolutely spot on.
Boys & their toys maybe? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No it wont change my life, it's not the end of the world it just rude when someone is being nice "
You are still insisting that you were being 'nice' and earlier 'polite'. Please please please realise that showing people your dick is neither nice nor polite. Just because you are on a swinging site doesn't mean that normal rules don't apply. Would you find it strange if you contacted a random woman/couple off Facebook with a dick pic and they blocked you? Would you insist that your message to them had been 'nice' or 'polite'
Some people consider unsolicited dick pics (which by setting your avatar as a dick pic you automatically do every time you message someone) as ignorant and rude so please don't be surprised if you don't get a polite reply from them. Is that really that difficult to understand?
We will always reply politely to a polite message. A dick pic avatar is NOT a polite message whatever the message contents.
Simples |
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"I dont agree with you, they could just have deleted the message it's more trouble for them to block and I wasnt expecting a reply "
How is it more trouble for them to block than it is to delete? Its literally 1 click for both.
Is it more trouble for them because you've now started a thread whining about them? |
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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago
south east |
"I dont agree with you, they could just have deleted the message it's more trouble for them to block and I wasnt expecting a reply
How is it more trouble for them to block than it is to delete? Its literally 1 click for both.
Is it more trouble for them because you've now started a thread whining about them?"
Me thinks his ego has taken a wee knock |
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"If my message was considered junk mail then that's fine, just delete it. Remember I didn't say anything rude or aggressive unlike a lot of the messages people seem to send "
OP some people are offended by their pics getting fabbed, let alone receiving messages.
It's common. You will get used to it.
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"If my message was considered junk mail then that's fine, just delete it. Remember I didn't say anything rude or aggressive unlike a lot of the messages people seem to send "
But now they're safe in the knowledge they won't recieve another. 
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If my message was considered junk mail then that's fine, just delete it. Remember I didn't say anything rude or aggressive unlike a lot of the messages people seem to send "
But that's the point, experience tells some people it's best not engage and block.
I do it all the time, I see it as a filter and then the sender knows where they stand. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"That's my point though they dont have to engage they just have to delete the message! Simple "
As simple as blocking. What's the difference?
Except of course now you can't see their profile or message them.
They've lost nothing either way.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That's my point though they dont have to engage they just have to delete the message! Simple "
BECAUSE as we said before you may forget you had messaged them and in the future send another message and all blocking does is stop that happening |
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Take your thread for example, I could only imagine had they replied to say they aren't interested you seem the kind who would then send a less than polite reply back.  it seems rather than accept they blocked you & get over it you just want to go on |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"That's my point though they dont have to engage they just have to delete the message! Simple "
Can I refer you to my earlier post? Go back and read it, you may find it useful in understanding why some people would use the block option
Oh and if you use "Reply + Quote" option we know who you are replying to |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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No that's totally not true, I wouldn't ever send anyone a rude message for saying they are not interested. I never even expected them to reply, it's not the end of the world for anyone, I simply believe its rude, and I'm just explaining it on this thread |
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"No that's totally not true, I wouldn't ever send anyone a rude message for saying they are not interested. I never even expected them to reply, it's not the end of the world for anyone, I simply believe its rude, and I'm just explaining it on this thread "
You've made your point and if they read the forum they'll know how you feel.
The thing is a lot of people will block for various reasons, it's a site tool available to everyone and as such will be used as people see fit. Try not to let it affect your enjoyment of the site though. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"No that's totally not true, I wouldn't ever send anyone a rude message for saying they are not interested. I never even expected them to reply, it's not the end of the world for anyone, I simply believe its rude, and I'm just explaining it on this thread "
The thing is though *you* know you wouldn't ever send a rude message, but someone you've never interacted with before wouldn't *know* that - it's incredibly common for people here to receive rude responses when they turn someone down - so some people protect themselves from the chances of that happening by doing what they did - you just have to accept it's the way some people choose to run their profiles - it's not rude, any more so than you sending them a message in the first place was rude. |
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» Add a new message to this topic
Indeed - but you can, and will, be blocked. 
