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Body image, musings
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Ongoing Swing working on her shit.
How do you reconcile your body with the aspirational images in the media? Look at yourself, look at what "they" say women (or men) should look like, and let it go?
I've finally found some degree of control in my body shape as I've really gotten into weight lifting. And I like what I see. But still the niggles continue. And they're stupid but I don't know how to let them go. (I'm aware what I'm about to say is #firstworldproblems) I always thought the ideal dress size for me was a 10, but my body fat is pretty low and I'm a 14. Am I fucking up? My body fat percentage is low and my abs are very strong - why does definition only extend to my obliques? (Along with all the other things that basically amount to I can't Photoshop my actual body)
I suppose in my case I'm trying to work out if I should reset goals or let them go. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm jolly happy in the skin I'm in.
I found that comparing your self to others gets you nowhere . They may look fantastic , but you don't know the lives they may lead or how happy they truly are
Embrace your uniqueness  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To what people want I feel fat but I am what I am I exorcise so I’m healthy "
In line with what I just said in another thread, people shouldn't be so sure of what other folk are looking for. I think you have a really great body. |
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Our body shape changes over the years, lifestyle, babies, stress etc all impact on us and how our bodies are, I always was a 6ft size 12 willow straight in my younger years, now if I go down to a size 16 my hip bones jut out, I'm a happy size 18
I hope you find your happy size x |
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"Definitely don’t go by dress size!
Bone structure you can never change. I have wide hips so my dress size remains the same regardless of what I weigh or what shape I’m in. "
Oh, I was a size 10 in my early 20s, long after I stopped growing. I know 8 or smaller would be "surgery to remove bones" territory with my bone structure (which I say not to advocate it, more to point out that the idea is ridiculous).
Just the little niggle continues, I'm much fitter and stronger now, why am I bigger, and where are my damn abs  |
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By *urvySub87Woman
over a year ago
Near Wellingborough |
Are you happy about being stronger and fitter? Then fuck the norm, screw what everyone else says that you should look like. You are beautiful but even my opinion shouldn't matter, yours should xxx |
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By *rMrsRichCouple
over a year ago
Bournemouh |
"Definitely don’t go by dress size!
Bone structure you can never change. I have wide hips so my dress size remains the same regardless of what I weigh or what shape I’m in.
Oh, I was a size 10 in my early 20s, long after I stopped growing. I know 8 or smaller would be "surgery to remove bones" territory with my bone structure (which I say not to advocate it, more to point out that the idea is ridiculous).
Just the little niggle continues, I'm much fitter and stronger now, why am I bigger, and where are my damn abs "
You have a great body! My body acceptance came from consciously asking myself when I’ve been attracted to someone else have I noticed all the things they are insecure about? Usually the answer is no! So it’s likely only you notice those niggles. So you can keep working at them if you want to for yourself but remember it’s only for yourself.
Oh and the abs thing..... you’re abs are there and probably hard as nails seeing as you’re training, but you’re body fat has to actually be at at pretty unhealthily low level to be able to see them properly.
My pole fitness teacher does body building. You only ever see her abs when she’s about to do a competition because she has to almost critically reduce her body fat. And she’s evil when she’s like that! Haha |
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"Definitely don’t go by dress size!
Bone structure you can never change. I have wide hips so my dress size remains the same regardless of what I weigh or what shape I’m in.
Oh, I was a size 10 in my early 20s, long after I stopped growing. I know 8 or smaller would be "surgery to remove bones" territory with my bone structure (which I say not to advocate it, more to point out that the idea is ridiculous).
Just the little niggle continues, I'm much fitter and stronger now, why am I bigger, and where are my damn abs
You have a great body! My body acceptance came from consciously asking myself when I’ve been attracted to someone else have I noticed all the things they are insecure about? Usually the answer is no! So it’s likely only you notice those niggles. So you can keep working at them if you want to for yourself but remember it’s only for yourself.
Oh and the abs thing..... you’re abs are there and probably hard as nails seeing as you’re training, but you’re body fat has to actually be at at pretty unhealthily low level to be able to see them properly.
My pole fitness teacher does body building. You only ever see her abs when she’s about to do a competition because she has to almost critically reduce her body fat. And she’s evil when she’s like that! Haha "
My abs are rock hard under there, lol. And I have an estimate of my body fat percentage, don't want to go much lower, it's not healthy or sustainable.
Just... fucking media messes with my head, and I'm working on it. |
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"Are you happy about being stronger and fitter? Then fuck the norm, screw what everyone else says that you should look like. You are beautiful but even my opinion shouldn't matter, yours should xxx"
I agree. And I'm getting there. This is sort of, remnants of hating my body.
Thank you. |
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"I used to get myself worked up about not being a size 10 now I embrace it..chunks pull hunks fact  "
Most of the time it's more, I feel good, strong and healthy in my body, and that's all that matters.
And then... damn media out of my head I don't need a fucking six pack. |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
We're all unique and I think that's what makes us special.
We all have different tastes.
One person's "no" is another person's "yes".
Try to be happy with who you want to be, if that means a bit of work then there's only one person who can do that. Xx |
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By *rMrsRichCouple
over a year ago
Bournemouh |
"Definitely don’t go by dress size!
Bone structure you can never change. I have wide hips so my dress size remains the same regardless of what I weigh or what shape I’m in.
Oh, I was a size 10 in my early 20s, long after I stopped growing. I know 8 or smaller would be "surgery to remove bones" territory with my bone structure (which I say not to advocate it, more to point out that the idea is ridiculous).
Just the little niggle continues, I'm much fitter and stronger now, why am I bigger, and where are my damn abs
You have a great body! My body acceptance came from consciously asking myself when I’ve been attracted to someone else have I noticed all the things they are insecure about? Usually the answer is no! So it’s likely only you notice those niggles. So you can keep working at them if you want to for yourself but remember it’s only for yourself.
Oh and the abs thing..... you’re abs are there and probably hard as nails seeing as you’re training, but you’re body fat has to actually be at at pretty unhealthily low level to be able to see them properly.
My pole fitness teacher does body building. You only ever see her abs when she’s about to do a competition because she has to almost critically reduce her body fat. And she’s evil when she’s like that! Haha
My abs are rock hard under there, lol. And I have an estimate of my body fat percentage, don't want to go much lower, it's not healthy or sustainable.
Just... fucking media messes with my head, and I'm working on it."
Yes don’t go lower it’s painful and not worth it. Perhaps work on you’re head not your body so the media can’t mess with it?
Look at anyone you think has a “better body” than you and ask yourself can they do what you do? Can they lift what you can? Probably not!
I haven’t trained for nearly 3 months now (yes yes I know I’ll get back to it soon haha!) but my sister keeps going on about how she wishes she was as thin as me yet she would whoop my ass at a plank attempt and is super strong and perfectly in shape. She just doesn’t see it. |
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"Definitely don’t go by dress size!
Bone structure you can never change. I have wide hips so my dress size remains the same regardless of what I weigh or what shape I’m in.
Oh, I was a size 10 in my early 20s, long after I stopped growing. I know 8 or smaller would be "surgery to remove bones" territory with my bone structure (which I say not to advocate it, more to point out that the idea is ridiculous).
Just the little niggle continues, I'm much fitter and stronger now, why am I bigger, and where are my damn abs "
At the height of my dancing I was so slim that size 6s were a bit loose on me yet I didn't have visible abs. Among my remaining dance friends who still do it full time it seems to be more to do with their own structure than thinness or strength. I have a friend who is a professional pole dancer who ended up totally screwing herself up hormonally in order to maintain a low body fat percentage and has been on a year long recovery to fix it so for some people it just isn't healthy. Women need more body fat than men to remain healthy and depending on how you personally store body fat, for some women visible abs are just not healthily achievable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t know, I think media really messes people up re body image. I was at my biggest a 30/32 had surgery and got down to an 18. I was still a target for not being thin enough, I’ve put a bit of weight back on due to illness but now I’m going to get treatment after a diagnosis. I will be glad to go back to an 18, for me it’s where I’m happy at. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I used to get myself worked up about not being a size 10 now I embrace it..chunks pull hunks fact
Most of the time it's more, I feel good, strong and healthy in my body, and that's all that matters.
And then... damn media out of my head I don't need a fucking six pack."
you dont be confident in your own skin. Confidence is the most attractive trait anyone can possess,when you believe you look great everyone will think you do. We all look at media and think if only but I we could also look like that if we had a team of make up artists to air brush us and photographers with special effects. |
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"Definitely don’t go by dress size!
Bone structure you can never change. I have wide hips so my dress size remains the same regardless of what I weigh or what shape I’m in.
Oh, I was a size 10 in my early 20s, long after I stopped growing. I know 8 or smaller would be "surgery to remove bones" territory with my bone structure (which I say not to advocate it, more to point out that the idea is ridiculous).
Just the little niggle continues, I'm much fitter and stronger now, why am I bigger, and where are my damn abs
At the height of my dancing I was so slim that size 6s were a bit loose on me yet I didn't have visible abs. Among my remaining dance friends who still do it full time it seems to be more to do with their own structure than thinness or strength. I have a friend who is a professional pole dancer who ended up totally screwing herself up hormonally in order to maintain a low body fat percentage and has been on a year long recovery to fix it so for some people it just isn't healthy. Women need more body fat than men to remain healthy and depending on how you personally store body fat, for some women visible abs are just not healthily achievable."
I think that's what I'm getting my head around. Most of my lifting material is aimed at men, and at my level of competency there's a lot of focus on abs. I can't see how it'd be possible to see my abs, given the layer on top and my estimate of my body fat, without hurtling a wrecking ball through my health. |
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I’ve never compared myself to others
My weight has fluctuated from 7st to 12st 6o.
At 7st I was a bag of bones with boobs and a butt. Only to told by doctors my BMI is classed as obese, my reaction to them .... I’ve never felt so ill so how do you expect me to get my BMI to what you class as normal, cut off my boobs ?
My heaviest, was a year after I had given birth and I ended up weighing 2st more than I weighed at 9 months pregnancy
I’m just me and how I was born. I’m currently 9st 8o, still obese in all the charts, do I care no. I’ve never dieted and never set foot in a gym.
The important thing is don’t listen to others, listen to yourself. If you don’t love yourself how can you expect anyone else to
Just about every bit wobbles, but I embrace it as it’s me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve never compared myself to others
My weight has fluctuated from 7st to 12st 6o.
At 7st I was a bag of bones with boobs and a butt. Only to told by doctors my BMI is classed as obese, my reaction to them .... I’ve never felt so ill so how do you expect me to get my BMI to what you class as normal, cut off my boobs ?
My heaviest, was a year after I had given birth and I ended up weighing 2st more than I weighed at 9 months pregnancy
I’m just me and how I was born. I’m currently 9st 8o, still obese in all the charts, do I care no. I’ve never dieted and never set foot in a gym.
The important thing is don’t listen to others, listen to yourself. If you don’t love yourself how can you expect anyone else to
Just about every bit wobbles, but I embrace it as it’s me "
obese?? You look amazing and you embrace them wobbly bits like you said they make you who you are x |
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"Definitely don’t go by dress size!
Bone structure you can never change. I have wide hips so my dress size remains the same regardless of what I weigh or what shape I’m in.
Oh, I was a size 10 in my early 20s, long after I stopped growing. I know 8 or smaller would be "surgery to remove bones" territory with my bone structure (which I say not to advocate it, more to point out that the idea is ridiculous).
Just the little niggle continues, I'm much fitter and stronger now, why am I bigger, and where are my damn abs
At the height of my dancing I was so slim that size 6s were a bit loose on me yet I didn't have visible abs. Among my remaining dance friends who still do it full time it seems to be more to do with their own structure than thinness or strength. I have a friend who is a professional pole dancer who ended up totally screwing herself up hormonally in order to maintain a low body fat percentage and has been on a year long recovery to fix it so for some people it just isn't healthy. Women need more body fat than men to remain healthy and depending on how you personally store body fat, for some women visible abs are just not healthily achievable.
I think that's what I'm getting my head around. Most of my lifting material is aimed at men, and at my level of competency there's a lot of focus on abs. I can't see how it'd be possible to see my abs, given the layer on top and my estimate of my body fat, without hurtling a wrecking ball through my health."
Absolutely. As I say I was just fitting into a size 6. I remember having shorts that I could see out of the bottom of when I looked down where they tented away from my body slightly due to my hip bones. My thighs didn't touch when I stood neutrally and I was about 46kg. I was eating fine but I doing at least 12 hours of excercise a week and sometimes more in the run up to shows so just couldn't keep on any weight. Still didn't have visible abs. |
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"I’ve never compared myself to others
My weight has fluctuated from 7st to 12st 6o.
At 7st I was a bag of bones with boobs and a butt. Only to told by doctors my BMI is classed as obese, my reaction to them .... I’ve never felt so ill so how do you expect me to get my BMI to what you class as normal, cut off my boobs ?
My heaviest, was a year after I had given birth and I ended up weighing 2st more than I weighed at 9 months pregnancy
I’m just me and how I was born. I’m currently 9st 8o, still obese in all the charts, do I care no. I’ve never dieted and never set foot in a gym.
The important thing is don’t listen to others, listen to yourself. If you don’t love yourself how can you expect anyone else to
Just about every bit wobbles, but I embrace it as it’s me "
It's a work in progress. (Although "if you don't love yourself how can you expect anyone else to" I find problematic, hard for those with mental health issues pulling themselves out).
Personally I've gone from active self loathing to ignoring self loathing, from there to apathy, from there to acceptance, from there to pride and a sense of control over it.
I just want the last of these stupid media images away from my perception of myself. My physical transformation has been remarkable, I'm really proud of what I've done. And then I look at mostly men with abs and find myself feeling bad  Female fat percentage and distribution, Swing |
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