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Sex and mental illness
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I was just wondering do people think mental illnesses can affect your sex life? Is it normal for it to come in to it?
I used to find that during or after the act I would have a full blown break down and can be in tears for hours after. Not sure if it was linked to sex at the time but as I reached out and got better so did the melt downs during sex.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Interesting question. Some people become hyper sexual when life becomes too stressful also. They look for physical stimulation because their mental health is poor.
It must depend on a lot of different factors. I would be interested to know how many fabbers would say they suffer with symptoms of stress /anxiety /depression. |
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"Anxiety and depression can definitely reduce your libido
I still had the desire for sex but would would end up crying."
The occasional times I felt horny when I was really bad, I'd have rather punched my ex in the throat than have sex with him. I read a lot of erotica instead. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi all. When I’m ok my libido is very high and I feel like I’m up for a meet (not with just anyone tho). But sometimes I wake up and can’t wait to go back to bed and the last thing on my mind is sex. It definitely affects the sex life |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I lost my son last year and one of my coping measures is being on here and meeting women for fun times. Theres something about sex and flirty chats that has helped me deal with things. I actually quite fancy my therapist and have often thought about trying it on with her. |
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"Interesting question. Some people become hyper sexual when life becomes too stressful also. They look for physical stimulation because their mental health is poor.
It must depend on a lot of different factors. I would be interested to know how many fabbers would say they suffer with symptoms of stress /anxiety /depression. "
I have bouts of stress and more depression. And I think that when I am bad I crave sex more and want the intimacy of people but not necessarily the longterm relationship. |
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Depression, distress and trauma can significantly effect your libido. There are also strong links between promiscuity and depression in women. I once knew a girl who stepped away from self harm and became dangerously promiscuous instead. Anti-depressants robbed her of empathy, and she felt so worthless that sex became a form of self abuse.
I think there are significant links between sex and mental health, and the connections probably run much deeper than most of us realise. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I lost my son last year and one of my coping measures is being on here and meeting women for fun times. Theres something about sex and flirty chats that has helped me deal with things. I actually quite fancy my therapist and have often thought about trying it on with her."
Sorry to hear about your son x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to cry after sex with my ex. I think sex releases a love hormone in the brain and it was a love I never really felt but missed. When it washed over me I'd feel sorry for myself and I would cry. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I used to cry after sex with my ex. I think sex releases a love hormone in the brain and it was a love I never really felt but missed. When it washed over me I'd feel sorry for myself and I would cry. "
Good insight. Thanks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Interesting question. Some people become hyper sexual when life becomes too stressful also. They look for physical stimulation because their mental health is poor.
It must depend on a lot of different factors. I would be interested to know how many fabbers would say they suffer with symptoms of stress /anxiety /depression. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I used to cry after sex with my ex. I think sex releases a love hormone in the brain and it was a love I never really felt but missed. When it washed over me I'd feel sorry for myself and I would cry.
Good insight. Thanks."
Your welcome. X |
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A few years ago i certainly used sex and men as a distraction from how depressed i was and a cover up to myself at just how far down in that dark place i actually was.
Iv had 3 pretty bad boyfriends and my dad had many many affairs while he was with my mum, he missed my sons 1st birthday to be with his piece on the side at the time (mum and him was still together at this point).
When it all came out and we found out what he had been doing and for how long i think it effected me the most. My mum was relieved to be out of the relationship an she could build on getting herself back to herself etc. I felt totally let down by the one man whos suppose to be there for me and never hurt me.
I know i tend to lean towards older guys and iv put myself in tricky situations previously as a way to cope and pretend it wasnt all happening.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A few years ago i certainly used sex and men as a distraction from how depressed i was and a cover up to myself at just how far down in that dark place i actually was.
Iv had 3 pretty bad boyfriends and my dad had many many affairs while he was with my mum, he missed my sons 1st birthday to be with his piece on the side at the time (mum and him was still together at this point).
When it all came out and we found out what he had been doing and for how long i think it effected me the most. My mum was relieved to be out of the relationship an she could build on getting herself back to herself etc. I felt totally let down by the one man whos suppose to be there for me and never hurt me.
I know i tend to lean towards older guys and iv put myself in tricky situations previously as a way to cope and pretend it wasnt all happening.
"
I feel this 100%. All the men I have ever known and trusted done the same including the last man I thought was different (my brother) hit me the hardest that one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Depression, distress and trauma can significantly effect your libido. There are also strong links between promiscuity and depression in women. I once knew a girl who stepped away from self harm and became dangerously promiscuous instead. Anti-depressants robbed her of empathy, and she felt so worthless that sex became a form of self abuse.
I think there are significant links between sex and mental health, and the connections probably run much deeper than most of us realise. "
Can definitely relate to part of this. My sex drive is definitely affected by my mental health, usually by killing it but there are times when it's all I can think about and it's like an escape instead |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having been on medication for my mental health problems, I suffer with some of the side effects of my medication that don’t necessarily make me lose any less of my desire for sex but I have to live with the mixed inability to not cum or I have to go for upwards of an hour b4 I do, which in itself can cause other problems. My self esteem is crazy low at best of times but add this in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes it really does i went from being absolutely rampant to not having sex or even wanting sex after my breakdown last year. My meds zapped it and had no desire for sex for 7 months. |
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It effects everyone differently
Sex is my addition and coping mechanism when my depression, anxiety or insecurity's are high
And I'm a much nicer happier person when my sexual needs are being met, I'm more social and more tolerant of others
The other half how ever
Is the complete opposite
He loses all want or need for sex when he is suffering with his depression and anxiety and just wants to hide away and sleep |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was just wondering do people think mental illnesses can affect your sex life? Is it normal for it to come in to it?
I used to find that during or after the act I would have a full blown break down and can be in tears for hours after. Not sure if it was linked to sex at the time but as I reached out and got better so did the melt downs during sex.
"
Yes, it's definitely common for your sex life to be affected by mental health issues. |
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I've had experience with Asperger's syndrome. because the second party finds it difficult to pick up on subtle behavioural tells, eg flirting, joking, grumpy etc I found that to effect our sex life's.
Her verbal communication was lacking too so she wouldn't talk to me about sex. |
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"It gave me, sexual addiction and I’ve still got that addiction 
A real addiction probably isn't something you should brag about "
I don't know depends if it's a well managed addiction and not harming anyone
My sexual addiction has always been managed and I can brag about how many people I play with in one night at the club if I so fancy,
My alcohol addiction was dangerous to me and others and at my worse I would of likely bragged about necking a bottle for breakfast or there being blood in my alcohol system but now although IL always be a recovering alcoholic I haven't had a drink since 24th February 2004 so if I want to brag about mastering that addiction and it helps someone master there addiction then it's something to brag about, the biggest problem in this life is the lack of talking about addictions and mental health issues, if someone starts the topic be it right or wrong for them to be bragging about the issue at hand, that talking could open the door to many other conversations getting more people talking about a taboo subject that shouldn't be ignored |
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"
I don't know depends if it's a well managed addiction
If it's a real addiction, it's not well managed "
This is were people don't understand addiction, addiction comes in many forms and levels and some people don't know they are an addict or have a problem, addiction is something I've had to deal with my whole adult life from my early teen years up,as I seem to replace one with another and my biggest one being food is likely the most dangerous and definitely the hardest one I've had to battle
There are many high functioning addict's especially alcoholics and drug users in the world,they hold down jobs and run a house, a real addiction is not the same as a out of control addiction, I used to do a litre plus a day of vodka (over each 24 hour period)but I didn't spend my days blind d*unk unable to function, but I was comfortably numb to some of the issues I had in life at that time.
You don't have to do something all day everyday to be classes as an addict, same as you are never recovered from an addiction always recovering because without correctly managing your addiction your recovery could fail and you could easily fall off the wagon |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had a long term back injury, which caused a serious dark period of depression for me, but during this period, I was the horniest I’ve ever been, luckily the back injury didn’t stop my fun, and to be honest, I filled my boots! Looking back on it now with the benefit of hindsight, I was hoping the feeling of intimacy that comes with sex would pull me through the darkness, and in a way it probably did. Nowadays, I’m still very horny, but in a much happier place mentally. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A few years ago i certainly used sex and men as a distraction from how depressed i was and a cover up to myself at just how far down in that dark place i actually was.
Iv had 3 pretty bad boyfriends and my dad had many many affairs while he was with my mum, he missed my sons 1st birthday to be with his piece on the side at the time (mum and him was still together at this point).
When it all came out and we found out what he had been doing and for how long i think it effected me the most. My mum was relieved to be out of the relationship an she could build on getting herself back to herself etc. I felt totally let down by the one man whos suppose to be there for me and never hurt me.
I know i tend to lean towards older guys and iv put myself in tricky situations previously as a way to cope and pretend it wasnt all happening.
"
That must have been hard x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A few years ago i certainly used sex and men as a distraction from how depressed i was and a cover up to myself at just how far down in that dark place i actually was.
Iv had 3 pretty bad boyfriends and my dad had many many affairs while he was with my mum, he missed my sons 1st birthday to be with his piece on the side at the time (mum and him was still together at this point).
When it all came out and we found out what he had been doing and for how long i think it effected me the most. My mum was relieved to be out of the relationship an she could build on getting herself back to herself etc. I felt totally let down by the one man whos suppose to be there for me and never hurt me.
I know i tend to lean towards older guys and iv put myself in tricky situations previously as a way to cope and pretend it wasnt all happening.
I feel this 100%. All the men I have ever known and trusted done the same including the last man I thought was different (my brother) hit me the hardest that one. "
I wish someone would explain this to the married men on here, who say they can smooth it over if their wives find out. No clue about the pain caused to family, friends, colleagues. Yes people get divorced, but it isnt always pretty.
As for the original question, I found everything too much when I was diagnosed with GADD. It's like trying to run through treacle with flippers on your feet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes it really does i went from being absolutely rampant to not having sex or even wanting sex after my breakdown last year. My meds zapped it and had no desire for sex for 7 months."
Yes agree...meds takeaway the desire. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve got a condition and one of the symptoms is promiscuous behaviour. I’ve got an excuse haha
In all seriousness as long as you’re not hurting anyone including yourself why does it matter. Sex is my fave last time and I’m not afraid to admit it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve got a condition and one of the symptoms is promiscuous behaviour. I’ve got an excuse haha
In all seriousness as long as you’re not hurting anyone including yourself why does it matter. Sex is my fave last time and I’m not afraid to admit it. "
I don't know why people find things like this something to laugh at |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’ve got a condition and one of the symptoms is promiscuous behaviour. I’ve got an excuse haha
In all seriousness as long as you’re not hurting anyone including yourself why does it matter. Sex is my fave last time and I’m not afraid to admit it. "
Good on you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve got a condition and one of the symptoms is promiscuous behaviour. I’ve got an excuse haha
In all seriousness as long as you’re not hurting anyone including yourself why does it matter. Sex is my fave last time and I’m not afraid to admit it.
I don't know why people find things like this something to laugh at"
Err because you’ve got to see the lighter side of life maybe. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sex can sometimes help me to feel better, as the day after that my head is too busy with flashbacks from the night before to think about unpleasant things.
On the other hand my medication is messing up with my ability to reach an orgasm and if I won't have it, it can be pretty frustrating and I feel like I let myself and him down |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Interesting thread and I think it does play a part. I know when I was grieving I used sex to try and forget how much I was hurting. "
Thanks. Not something people always like to talk about |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sex can sometimes help me to feel better, as the day after that my head is too busy with flashbacks from the night before to think about unpleasant things.
On the other hand my medication is messing up with my ability to reach an orgasm and if I won't have it, it can be pretty frustrating and I feel like I let myself and him down "
Aww |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Semen is an antidepressant for women.
Unfortunately it has to be absorbed internally.
One of the reasons I'm here is for the mood boosting effects of sex. "
Not heard that b4 |
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"Semen is an antidepressant for women.
Unfortunately it has to be absorbed internally.
One of the reasons I'm here is for the mood boosting effects of sex.
Not heard that b4"
I'd post a link if it was allowed... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There was a paper in 2002 that postulated that prostiglandins in semen had a temporary anti-depressant effect on women. There are a few more recent reports debunking it though so who knows."
With trying  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My libido almost vanishes when I'm feeling down I think it's fairly common with people that have the same episodes although everyone's different.
I tend to abstain from play until I feel better no one wants to meet a grumpy old wench |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My libido almost vanishes when I'm feeling down I think it's fairly common with people that have the same episodes although everyone's different.
I tend to abstain from play until I feel better no one wants to meet a grumpy old wench"
Youd be surprised |
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"I lost my son last year and one of my coping measures is being on here and meeting women for fun times. Theres something about sex and flirty chats that has helped me deal with things. I actually quite fancy my therapist and have often thought about trying it on with her."
Sorry to hear about your loss |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My libido almost vanishes when I'm feeling down I think it's fairly common with people that have the same episodes although everyone's different.
I tend to abstain from play until I feel better no one wants to meet a grumpy old wench
Youd be surprised "
Well on here no I'm not surprised I just can't meet I've never cried after sex either but have heard of other women mainly doing it hope you're ok op x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Being a self confessed sex addict and not getting enough sex is the most depressing situation ever! "
Here here. And the anxiety is counter productive for that too!
Stay off the anti depressants if youre experiences a lack of libido and get on the shrooms. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My libido almost vanishes when I'm feeling down I think it's fairly common with people that have the same episodes although everyone's different.
I tend to abstain from play until I feel better no one wants to meet a grumpy old wench
Youd be surprised
Well on here no I'm not surprised I just can't meet I've never cried after sex either but have heard of other women mainly doing it hope you're ok op x"
Thank you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm mister I suffer ptsd and depression depending on wat medication I'm prescribed some times it's over b4 it started then I find I can go all nite and no cum then theres times I cant even rise |
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I live with the bitch that is black dog - and its mate anxiety and have, for the last 4 years added the unmitigated joy that is PTSD to that mix. I'm either all or nothing - and mainly nothing now. So, yes, mental health definitely does come into it. I live in hope of the seratonin levels at least levelling out so I can enjoy a prolonged and fulfilled sex life one day xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Until reading this today I would of said no but actuly I've realised and don't really know how I've missed it before I only ever join fabs when I'm not happy for what ever reason in the vanilla world  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im not meeting as my head space needs to be in the right place.
Certainly affects both.
But at the mo.. fab beats the isolation feeling.
Can be fun on here
Can be hard work on here
Great friends on here too.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes it can. Having suffered and, well, I guess occasionally suffering depression which results in me hating myself the last thing anyone would want from me is sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Post-coital tristesse (PCT) is the feeling of sadness, anxiety, agitation or aggression after sexual intercourse. It mostly affects males. I had a fwb with it once, the stronger the climax the worse his depression afterwards. It could be quite intense.
Had an ex with BPD who would frequently either cry or laugh hysterically after climax. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm mister I suffer ptsd and depression depending on wat medication I'm prescribed some times it's over b4 it started then I find I can go all nite and no cum then theres times I cant even rise"
It's not nice feeling. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm mister I suffer ptsd and depression depending on wat medication I'm prescribed some times it's over b4 it started then I find I can go all nite and no cum then theres times I cant even rise
It's not nice feeling."
Its deff not but never any pressure or judgement from me (mrs). Its finding that 1 person that will support you through no matter what xx |
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"Depression, distress and trauma can significantly effect your libido. There are also strong links between promiscuity and depression in women. I once knew a girl who stepped away from self harm and became dangerously promiscuous instead. Anti-depressants robbed her of empathy, and she felt so worthless that sex became a form of self abuse.
I think there are significant links between sex and mental health, and the connections probably run much deeper than most of us realise. "
I totally see the link with self-harm/promiscuity/addiction with depression. Libido is affected by mood, moods are controlled by hormones, hormones also affect libido.It's all a big soup pot and very hard to control and find balance as there are too many ingredients.
That probably makes no sense, I know what I mean to say but the gin forgot half the words,for which I apologise.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm mister I suffer ptsd and depression depending on wat medication I'm prescribed some times it's over b4 it started then I find I can go all nite and no cum then theres times I cant even rise
It's not nice feeling.
Its deff not but never any pressure or judgement from me (mrs). Its finding that 1 person that will support you through no matter what xx"
A rare find. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I lost my son last year and one of my coping measures is being on here and meeting women for fun times. Theres something about sex and flirty chats that has helped me deal with things. I actually quite fancy my therapist and have often thought about trying it on with her."
Hugs to you. Mrs x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I was seeing a girl who took antidepressants and she cold started every time we had sex. It was difficult for her to get in the headspace."
Must have been hard. |
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By *eeBee67Man
over a year ago
Masked and Distant |
Mental health, or lack of it, affects all aspects of life. Sex is part of life so yes poor mental health will impact on sex.
Personally after a good sex session resulting in mutual orgasms I feel very emotional. It's a massive release of endorphins / adrenaline. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Mental health, or lack of it, affects all aspects of life. Sex is part of life so yes poor mental health will impact on sex.
Personally after a good sex session resulting in mutual orgasms I feel very emotional. It's a massive release of endorphins / adrenaline."
Glad I'm not the only one. |
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"I was seeing a girl who took antidepressants and she cold started every time we had sex. It was difficult for her to get in the headspace.
Must have been hard."
It was and sadly due to past relationships she had a really bad relationship with being intimate. She put a lot of pressure on herself and she thought sex was what men expected of her, so she didn’t know how to play, any intimacy had to lead to sex she thought because that’s what men had told her before so there was pressure on everything. It’s so hard being with someone like that because when I broke up with her I felt such a sense of guilt. |
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I think some people use sex as a replacement for the lack of love in their lives...it makes them feel wanted and loved even if it's only for a short while. Not sure if that is self delusion or a mental health issue? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mental health, or lack of it, affects all aspects of life. Sex is part of life so yes poor mental health will impact on sex.
Personally after a good sex session resulting in mutual orgasms I feel very emotional. It's a massive release of endorphins / adrenaline."
I get the latter & not many men understand it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Mental health, or lack of it, affects all aspects of life. Sex is part of life so yes poor mental health will impact on sex.
Personally after a good sex session resulting in mutual orgasms I feel very emotional. It's a massive release of endorphins / adrenaline.
I get the latter & not many men understand it"
That's very true. |
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Our brains and minds are our powerhouses, so ill-health is encompassed within our overall well-being. As sex is an emorional and physical symphony of our more intense experiences, it's natural that we can have impacts to our harmonious flow of our energies and impactful wonder. Our emotions are not self-contained entities and there's no one way street, every thing about us is interwoven. Intensity of experience is unstable but powerful. We may orgasm and feel and experience many things, whilst healthy, including tears, pain and more. It can be great to enjoy sex whilst we have mental health issues, though I have taken care of myself more carefully too, when not at my best. The closeness and warmth from the sexual experience can be a jolt, it's a contrasting awakening and enlivening aeakening of our more extreme bold self, even thougb I've still been dulled or suppressed. We deserve to live our fullest potential and sometimes we just have the brightness glimmering witb the shadows too. |
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I have both anxiety and depression, they wax and wane with time and what’s going on in my life. I’ve been on anti depressants since September which has really helped but it impacts my ability to orgasm.
Overall I think both anxiety and depression reduce my sex drive, but I become more needing of contact, someone holding my hand, reassuring me, rather than having sex with me.
I’m feeling in a fair strong place right now, hence why I’m back on fab |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have both anxiety and depression, they wax and wane with time and what’s going on in my life. I’ve been on anti depressants since September which has really helped but it impacts my ability to orgasm.
Overall I think both anxiety and depression reduce my sex drive, but I become more needing of contact, someone holding my hand, reassuring me, rather than having sex with me.
I’m feeling in a fair strong place right now, hence why I’m back on fab "
I was on meds for mine and I couldn’t finish which completely ruined my sex Drive. Doctor said it was just in my head but it’s interesting reading something similar. Also glad you’re in a good headspace |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I have both anxiety and depression, they wax and wane with time and what’s going on in my life. I’ve been on anti depressants since September which has really helped but it impacts my ability to orgasm.
Overall I think both anxiety and depression reduce my sex drive, but I become more needing of contact, someone holding my hand, reassuring me, rather than having sex with me.
I’m feeling in a fair strong place right now, hence why I’m back on fab "
Lucky you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was just wondering do people think mental illnesses can affect your sex life? Is it normal for it to come in to it?
I used to find that during or after the act I would have a full blown break down and can be in tears for hours after. Not sure if it was linked to sex at the time but as I reached out and got better so did the melt downs during sex.
"
I can honestly say yes from previous experience |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In short, yes. Sometimes zero sex drive whatsoever other times I become a Male Nymphomaniac. Most commonly I’ve noticed a vast increase in Masturbation whenever my Anxiety or Depression is bad."
I'd be the same. |
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"In short, yes. Sometimes zero sex drive whatsoever other times I become a Male Nymphomaniac. Most commonly I’ve noticed a vast increase in Masturbation whenever my Anxiety or Depression is bad.
I'd be the same."
With me I’ve noticed when my Depression was most severe with the exception of getting out of bed to wash I wasn’t doing anything but was still masturbating usually excessively. On the flip side other times I had no desire, sex drive or interest in sex. Then as I mentioned other times I could have needed it all day every day. Either way, it definitely does fuck with the wiring! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In short, yes. Sometimes zero sex drive whatsoever other times I become a Male Nymphomaniac. Most commonly I’ve noticed a vast increase in Masturbation whenever my Anxiety or Depression is bad.
I'd be the same.
With me I’ve noticed when my Depression was most severe with the exception of getting out of bed to wash I wasn’t doing anything but was still masturbating usually excessively. On the flip side other times I had no desire, sex drive or interest in sex. Then as I mentioned other times I could have needed it all day every day. Either way, it definitely does fuck with the wiring!"
Glad it's not just me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As veteran and suffer from ptsd and cgd, I use to sex to manage and quiten the anger issues brought on by both these disorders and as a release for myself |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As veteran and suffer from ptsd and cgd, I use to sex to manage and quiten the anger issues brought on by both these disorders and as a release for myself "
Hope your okay |
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