FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > First impressions.
First impressions.
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By *mana OP Woman
over a year ago
Basingstoke |
Do you judge others on first impressions? Or do you judge them on what you've heard from others?
How do you make your decisions?
I'm very open and I'll happily admit if I make a mistake, it's about owning your choices but I really dislike people judging others before knowing their story or walking in their shoes.
So how do you decide whether you like someone or not? Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I will admit I make up my mind pretty quickly. But always from spending time with someone or interacting with them in some way where fab is concerned.
I prefer to decide if I like someone based on my own experience. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I judge them on how they present themselves, whether that's on the forum, their profile or messages.
I'm not keen on the ones that claim they're different in real life or when you get to know them |
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By *mana OP Woman
over a year ago
Basingstoke |
"People on Fab are to ready to judge. I am adult enough to make up my own mind about someone without listening to gossip."
Absolutely. While I've made many friends on here there has also been a lot of judgements. Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People on Fab are to ready to judge. I am adult enough to make up my own mind about someone without listening to gossip.
Absolutely. While I've made many friends on here there has also been a lot of judgements. Xx"
I nudge you fit as fuck  |
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I'll admit to judging people on first impressions although that happens far more in day to day life than it does online.
Online it's much harder to see the infliction in what someone is saying from text alone so it could sound angry or snide whereas it was meant as fun so I try to give more leeway.
I will make my own mind up on those I interact with although if I am told things by others I will sometimes keep that in mind as something to look out for but I wont use another's opinion entirely as I'm not them and different people like or dislike different things.
I'm aware I will get judged for how I appear on here and I'm fine with that as I hope that my personality is what will change your mind about me given time.
I like to be liked by people but I'm also very aware many wont like either how I look or behave. I can happily live with that  |
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By *mana OP Woman
over a year ago
Basingstoke |
"I'll admit to judging people on first impressions although that happens far more in day to day life than it does online.
Online it's much harder to see the infliction in what someone is saying from text alone so it could sound angry or snide whereas it was meant as fun so I try to give more leeway.
I will make my own mind up on those I interact with although if I am told things by others I will sometimes keep that in mind as something to look out for but I wont use another's opinion entirely as I'm not them and different people like or dislike different things.
I'm aware I will get judged for how I appear on here and I'm fine with that as I hope that my personality is what will change your mind about me given time.
I like to be liked by people but I'm also very aware many wont like either how I look or behave. I can happily live with that "
Definitely. Not everyone will like everyone and that's fine, its life.
But if they judge me before knowing me then that's not fair xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll admit to judging people on first impressions although that happens far more in day to day life than it does online.
Online it's much harder to see the infliction in what someone is saying from text alone so it could sound angry or snide whereas it was meant as fun so I try to give more leeway.
I will make my own mind up on those I interact with although if I am told things by others I will sometimes keep that in mind as something to look out for but I wont use another's opinion entirely as I'm not them and different people like or dislike different things.
I'm aware I will get judged for how I appear on here and I'm fine with that as I hope that my personality is what will change your mind about me given time.
I like to be liked by people but I'm also very aware many wont like either how I look or behave. I can happily live with that
Definitely. Not everyone will like everyone and that's fine, its life.
But if they judge me before knowing me then that's not fair xx"
People will judge you on information you present them with...it's absolutely fair and unrealistic to expect otherwise |
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By *mana OP Woman
over a year ago
Basingstoke |
"I'll admit to judging people on first impressions although that happens far more in day to day life than it does online.
Online it's much harder to see the infliction in what someone is saying from text alone so it could sound angry or snide whereas it was meant as fun so I try to give more leeway.
I will make my own mind up on those I interact with although if I am told things by others I will sometimes keep that in mind as something to look out for but I wont use another's opinion entirely as I'm not them and different people like or dislike different things.
I'm aware I will get judged for how I appear on here and I'm fine with that as I hope that my personality is what will change your mind about me given time.
I like to be liked by people but I'm also very aware many wont like either how I look or behave. I can happily live with that
Definitely. Not everyone will like everyone and that's fine, its life.
But if they judge me before knowing me then that's not fair xx
People will judge you on information you present them with...it's absolutely fair and unrealistic to expect otherwise "
But what if the information is from others? Is that fair? |
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"I'll admit to judging people on first impressions although that happens far more in day to day life than it does online.
Online it's much harder to see the infliction in what someone is saying from text alone so it could sound angry or snide whereas it was meant as fun so I try to give more leeway.
I will make my own mind up on those I interact with although if I am told things by others I will sometimes keep that in mind as something to look out for but I wont use another's opinion entirely as I'm not them and different people like or dislike different things.
I'm aware I will get judged for how I appear on here and I'm fine with that as I hope that my personality is what will change your mind about me given time.
I like to be liked by people but I'm also very aware many wont like either how I look or behave. I can happily live with that
Definitely. Not everyone will like everyone and that's fine, its life.
But if they judge me before knowing me then that's not fair xx"
I had an impression of you before we started chatting (good I should add) and found out I was wrong, you're so much nicer and funnier to chat to and far better looking too now I've seen your friends pics.
First impressions are more often than not incorrect  |
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I tend to take people as I find them, from my own interactions with them.
It's not always easy to get your true personality across in a post and I have maybe come across in a way that was not my intention, as I'm sure others may have at some point.
And sometimes it says more
about the person casting the aspersions than the person they are judging. |
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By *mana OP Woman
over a year ago
Basingstoke |
"I tend to take people as I find them, from my own interactions with them.
It's not always easy to get your true personality across in a post and I have maybe come across in a way that was not my intention, as I'm sure others may have at some point.
And sometimes it says more
about the person casting the aspersions than the person they are judging."
Very well said! Xx |
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First impressions count, and I tend to take people at face value to begin with. But I've changed my mind completely about some people after reading their posts. I remain oblivious to most of the gossip on here. |
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I make judgements and impressions based on how someone is with me but I'll admit to being wrong on a few occasions. I've thought I'll be lifelong friends with some and it's turned out they aren't very nice people. A lifelong friend I do have, we both thought the other was stuck up as we were both ridiculously shy. I don't judge on what others say, unless that person has really hurt someone I'm close to or protective about x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like to make my own mind up on people without listening to gossip. I try to see it as everyone’s a good person until they’re not. Then if they prove themselves to not be that nice, I would simply not want to have anything to do with them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I judge for myself.
I will say though, when you hear from numerous people the same thing about someone backstabbing/spreading crap whether about me or others i cut people like that out my circle. |
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I find a social meet at a coffee shop a really good way of figuring someone out. How people treat staff is a big one.
I never judge anyone based on what I’ve heard and if people try and tell me stuff I stop them mid flow and say I’m not interested.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you judge others on first impressions? Or do you judge them on what you've heard from others?
How do you make your decisions?
I'm very open and I'll happily admit if I make a mistake, it's about owning your choices but I really dislike people judging others before knowing their story or walking in their shoes.
So how do you decide whether you like someone or not? Xx"
In reality I treat everyone as they treat me. I dont listen to hearsay, just because someone may have experiences of someone else while they were having a bad day or whatever doesnt mean they are bad. Rumours raise a foggy picture of people. I take them as they treat me.
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By *mana OP Woman
over a year ago
Basingstoke |
"I like to make my own mind up on people without listening to gossip. I try to see it as everyone’s a good person until they’re not. Then if they prove themselves to not be that nice, I would simply not want to have anything to do with them. "
Absolutely. I suppose we all have different levels of what we think constitutes a bad person.
To make a judgement though when you've not spoken to the person, or dont actually know the person then that's being judgemental.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I like to make my own mind up on people without listening to gossip. I try to see it as everyone’s a good person until they’re not. Then if they prove themselves to not be that nice, I would simply not want to have anything to do with them.
Absolutely. I suppose we all have different levels of what we think constitutes a bad person.
To make a judgement though when you've not spoken to the person, or dont actually know the person then that's being judgemental.
"
Making judgements about people without personally interacting with them is thought to have evolutionary benefits...it's not wrong, or bad, but often perceived to be if those judgements aren't positive |
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Outside of fab I'm a very good judge of people, would 1st/2nd meet I tend to get to know who they are inside. As of fab well that's different and difficult as most of the time I cant get past 1st base as people at moment tend to judge me on my profile alone with out chatting to me. There I said it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Outside of fab I'm a very good judge of people, would 1st/2nd meet I tend to get to know who they are inside. As of fab well that's different and difficult as most of the time I cant get past 1st base as people at moment tend to judge me on my profile alone with out chatting to me. There I said it "
Same for most. |
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As a massive clumsy fuck up I'm touched to see that some people can look past a first impression.
For me, first impression s are important however I have changed my mind loads about folk as I get to know them. I'm talking in person rather than online. I never feel I really know someone without being in the same room as them at some point. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I like to make my own mind up on people without listening to gossip. I try to see it as everyone’s a good person until they’re not. Then if they prove themselves to not be that nice, I would simply not want to have anything to do with them.
Absolutely. I suppose we all have different levels of what we think constitutes a bad person.
To make a judgement though when you've not spoken to the person, or dont actually know the person then that's being judgemental.
Making judgements about people without personally interacting with them is thought to have evolutionary benefits...it's not wrong, or bad, but often perceived to be if those judgements aren't positive "
Personally I think your last paragraph requires an awful lot of substantiation.
Often people judge others based on their own life and moral views, not the other person's. Making judgement based on limited information and heresay is short sighted at best.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would make an initial impression of someone when I first meet them, but I wouldn't make that my final impression. Tbh I've been let down by people I called friends in the past so I actually find my impressions of people shifting and changing the more I get to know them. |
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I judge by first impressions, I'd be a fool to ignore some. If my first impression is of someone charging at me with an axe I'm not hanging about to find out if they're nice on the inside. I am always prepared to change my mind though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I like to make my own mind up on people without listening to gossip. I try to see it as everyone’s a good person until they’re not. Then if they prove themselves to not be that nice, I would simply not want to have anything to do with them.
Absolutely. I suppose we all have different levels of what we think constitutes a bad person.
To make a judgement though when you've not spoken to the person, or dont actually know the person then that's being judgemental.
Making judgements about people without personally interacting with them is thought to have evolutionary benefits...it's not wrong, or bad, but often perceived to be if those judgements aren't positive
Personally I think your last paragraph requires an awful lot of substantiation.
Often people judge others based on their own life and moral views, not the other person's. Making judgement based on limited information and heresay is short sighted at best.
"
People are cognitive misers and use shortcuts to make judgements simply because there is not enough time to do otherwise in day to day life. It may be short sighted, but it's vital at times |
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"As a massive clumsy fuck up I'm touched to see that some people can look past a first impression.
For me, first impression s are important however I have changed my mind loads about folk as I get to know them. I'm talking in person rather than online. I never feel I really know someone without being in the same room as them at some point."
I have to say you come across brilliantly on here and the first impression of you that I had is really positive.
Friendly, engaging and very open of both mind and to friendship.
I wouldnt expect anything different in person.
If others came across on here as you do then fab would be a much happier place x |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
In response to the OP; I do make judgement calls based upon the person and the information that they present to me, whether that be profiles, pictures, posts and the words that they use. I don't make it my only judgement though and I'm constantly appraising and evaluating.
I've been wrong in the past about people but I consider myself to be a very shrewd judge of character. Its very very rare that I pay attention to others impressions as everyone has a bias and often sees through their own frame of experience. |
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"I agree I think a lot of people judge me first before actually speaking to me  "
Everyone judges without speaking to people. It's something we all do without being aware of it. To an extent we can over ride our impressions but it's an instinct that has helped keep us safe for thousands of years. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I like to make my own mind up on people without listening to gossip. I try to see it as everyone’s a good person until they’re not. Then if they prove themselves to not be that nice, I would simply not want to have anything to do with them.
Absolutely. I suppose we all have different levels of what we think constitutes a bad person.
To make a judgement though when you've not spoken to the person, or dont actually know the person then that's being judgemental.
Making judgements about people without personally interacting with them is thought to have evolutionary benefits...it's not wrong, or bad, but often perceived to be if those judgements aren't positive
Personally I think your last paragraph requires an awful lot of substantiation.
Often people judge others based on their own life and moral views, not the other person's. Making judgement based on limited information and heresay is short sighted at best.
People are cognitive misers and use shortcuts to make judgements simply because there is not enough time to do otherwise in day to day life. It may be short sighted, but it's vital at times "
I think that you're making an excuse here for not giving people their due and making snap judgement.
When would you consider it vital to make a snap judgement based on others impressions? |
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"As a massive clumsy fuck up I'm touched to see that some people can look past a first impression.
For me, first impression s are important however I have changed my mind loads about folk as I get to know them. I'm talking in person rather than online. I never feel I really know someone without being in the same room as them at some point.
I have to say you come across brilliantly on here and the first impression of you that I had is really positive.
Friendly, engaging and very open of both mind and to friendship.
I wouldnt expect anything different in person.
If others came across on here as you do then fab would be a much happier place x"
Totally agree on this comment as not only funny online but looks really hot too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I think that you're making an excuse here for not giving people their due and making snap judgement.
When would you consider it vital to make a snap judgement based on others impressions? "
I'm referring to folks objection to making judgements in general. No excuses. |
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"As a massive clumsy fuck up I'm touched to see that some people can look past a first impression.
For me, first impression s are important however I have changed my mind loads about folk as I get to know them. I'm talking in person rather than online. I never feel I really know someone without being in the same room as them at some point.
I have to say you come across brilliantly on here and the first impression of you that I had is really positive.
Friendly, engaging and very open of both mind and to friendship.
I wouldnt expect anything different in person.
If others came across on here as you do then fab would be a much happier place x"
Oh you
That was really lovely of you to say. Hope you don't change your mind when I fall over my own feet escorting you to the Brum social! |
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I generally judge people on their grammar, the clothes they wear, where they conduct their grocery shopping, their cuisine choices, the music they listen to, and the cleanliness of their living abode (photo backdrops)...
I wouldn't consider myself an overly judgy person |
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By *mana OP Woman
over a year ago
Basingstoke |
"I tend to think the best of people until they prove me wrong.
First impressions could either be a pic or a comment or even a status.
Anything could grab my attention.  "
Yes. Prove YOU wrong, so youd have some conversation etc with them before judging? Xx |
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I tend to over compensate in someone's favour of people tell me had things about them. I can't abide unsubstantiated gossip and rumour mongering.
I'm the first to admit to enjoying a bit of evidence based scandal though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think generally if I feel I've got a chance to shag them, then all good and definitely won't be judging them.
CM, you are a picture of class  xx"
Hey.. there was this thread about honesty and a few of the women on there said ..." honesty was a turn on" so I'm only telling the truth from now... |
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By *mana OP Woman
over a year ago
Basingstoke |
"I think generally if I feel I've got a chance to shag them, then all good and definitely won't be judging them.
CM, you are a picture of class xx
Hey.. there was this thread about honesty and a few of the women on there said ..." honesty was a turn on" so I'm only telling the truth from now... "
Touchè  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think it's possible not to be influenced by things you've heard, whether that's a conscious thing or not, you can't unlearn something, even if those things are not 100% true.
Also we all make judgements as soon as we meet someone, you can't not do it.
I am one of those people willing to have their mind changed though, I'm fully aware that you need to spent time and get to know someone before you can really judge fully. |
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"Do you judge others on first impressions? Or do you judge them on what you've heard from others?
How do you make your decisions?
I'm very open and I'll happily admit if I make a mistake, it's about owning your choices but I really dislike people judging others before knowing their story or walking in their shoes.
So how do you decide whether you like someone or not? Xx"
I never judge on first impressions as everyone can have a bad day and it will reflect in the way they engage with me, when they do it the same way twice or a 3rd time then I will disengage myself from interacting with them.
Others opinions are exactly that and I will form my own opinions on anyone I choose to and they are formed literally from my own experiences with them. I do not let past history's be involved in my opinions as every day is a new day and how can we move forward if someone will not let go of yesterday... |
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Ok just a thought. Taking into account all things said in this thread. Some have said 1st impressions on profile makes them not want to go any further ie not even chat to get another take on profile. So my question is. At 1st glance what makes the 1st impression on profile |
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By *mana OP Woman
over a year ago
Basingstoke |
"Ok just a thought. Taking into account all things said in this thread. Some have said 1st impressions on profile makes them not want to go any further ie not even chat to get another take on profile. So my question is. At 1st glance what makes the 1st impression on profile "
1st for me is your avatar.
Then it's the text. |
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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago
south east |
"Do you judge others on first impressions? Or do you judge them on what you've heard from others?
How do you make your decisions?
I'm very open and I'll happily admit if I make a mistake, it's about owning your choices but I really dislike people judging others before knowing their story or walking in their shoes.
So how do you decide whether you like someone or not? Xx"
I think I'm generally a good judge of character so tend not to listen to others and make my own mind up ..sometimes on first impression sometimes over time ..but it's always my decision  |
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I approach any interaction with someone new with an open mind, but I'm a good judge of character and decide if I like them or not quickly...once I've decided I don't like someone it's near on impossible to change my mind.
I never listen to what others say about people, I'd rather make my own mind up, especially on here...too many people have ulterior motives unfortunately. |
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"Ok just a thought. Taking into account all things said in this thread. Some have said 1st impressions on profile makes them not want to go any further ie not even chat to get another take on profile. So my question is. At 1st glance what makes the 1st impression on profile
1st for me is your avatar.
Then it's the text. "
So what you think of mine then. PM me if you like too |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I take as I find, just as I would hope that people do with their impressions of me.
Some people I instantly warm to, others it can take a little time, but that's only human nature - equally some people I have an instinctive dislike of, again human nature.
My instincts are usually fairly spot on, but it has been known over time for them to change based on action or seeing a bigger part of the picture.
As for gossip, I largely ignore it, although may later come back to it for further examination as an affirmation of my own findings |
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I absolutely adore you!! Xxx
