FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Do you wonder
Do you wonder
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What would happen if you just disappeared? Would you be missed? Would the people that say they care actually notice you were gone?
Are most people just acquaintances there when your happy and things going well? Would they be there if you messaged or rang at 5am?
Or are we all so self absorbed that we say we care but really dont.? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Close family yes, kids, parents, siblings etc. As for friends, no. Maybe one exceptionally close one. I know there’s only one person away from family that I would happily take a bullet for |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Family aside I also have a close group of friends I speak with most days.
I can and have asked for help and they're there for me in a heartbeat as I am for them.
I feel grateful for those I have in my life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know I would be missed. I have a massive family and some very close friends. I'd definitely be missed cos I'm missed if I havent spoken for a few days  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I take breaks occasionally and no one bats an eyelid.
Oh, you meant in real life!
Fuck, yes! I’d be missed by many.
Lucky you"
I had a group of people I thought were friends, until I became convinced they were just tolerating me. I stopped going out with them, never heard a word, not one of them asked if I was ok. Looks like I was right. |
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"Family aside I also have a close group of friends I speak with most days.
I can and have asked for help and they're there for me in a heartbeat as I am for them.
I feel grateful for those I have in my life. "
Yes, this for me as well |
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Only my kids would notice, older ones when they want money, younger ones as they are proper Mommy's boys & I know 2 friends would as they regularly check up if they haven't heard off me for a few days |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We left our home of twenty one years to move up North we told all our so called friends we were having a drink to say goodbye and no one came. Also since we left not one of them has even sent a message. So yep we disappeared and no one cared. Sod the lot of them we are happy in our new home. |
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"Whats the name of your great, great grand parents?.. Dont know well that probably how long we will be remembered. so live life now and dont worry about it  "
 you don't even need to go back that far, how many people did we know 20yrs ago that died and we've forgotten about. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We left our home of twenty one years to move up North we told all our so called friends we were having a drink to say goodbye and no one came. Also since we left not one of them has even sent a message. So yep we disappeared and no one cared. Sod the lot of them we are happy in our new home. "
That's really sad  |
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"What would happen if you just disappeared? Would you be missed? Would the people that say they care actually notice you were gone?
Are most people just acquaintances there when your happy and things going well? Would they be there if you messaged or rang at 5am?
Or are we all so self absorbed that we say we care but really dont.? "
I’m here for my kids.. if it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t be here.. because no one cares for them but me. Not a single person would miss me for long. Life can be lonely as a single mum.. but my kids are beautiful strong characters so I got something right x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We left our home of twenty one years to move up North we told all our so called friends we were having a drink to say goodbye and no one came. Also since we left not one of them has even sent a message. So yep we disappeared and no one cared. Sod the lot of them we are happy in our new home. "
That's sad but you have each other and that's all that matters x |
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By *allHalfMan
over a year ago
Near there |
"Whats the name of your great, great grand parents?.. Dont know well that probably how long we will be remembered. so live life now and dont worry about it you don't even need to go back that far, how many people did we know 20yrs ago that died and we've forgotten about. "
Hence i consider my self to be a follower of Absurdism. enjoy the now, and lets face it us all being on here we probably feel more 'woke' than the snotty teenagers calling us boomers lol
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Often thought about in all honesty sure the people that would notice and miss me would be the kids, possibly siblings. Other than that no one.
If I didn't have kids I probably wouldn't be here.
F. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On fab, unlikely that I would be missed. I've come and gone in the past without stirring a ripple in the fab pool.
Away in the big wide world if one or two remember me kindly then perhaps that's enough... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't have parents anymore but yes my brother's is close to me and has almost taken on a parenting role as he's 11 years older. I have a son. Im hoping beast would notice too as we still talk a few times a day |
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"I often post on here but it’s like I’m talking to myself a lot if the time "
Some people noticed you posting. I feel like that on here sometimes but I'm lucky one I found someone on here I know he miss me. If I don't message him for a hour he asks if I'm ok. We been messaging eachother everyday for 3 years now. |
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By *VineMan
over a year ago
The right place |
"I take breaks occasionally and no one bats an eyelid.
Oh, you meant in real life!
Fuck, yes! I’d be missed by many.
Lucky you"
I have a friend who’s son died last year. It was horrible but it was amazing to see the impact on so many peoples lives after his death. The ripple effect was huge and extended much further than immediate family. I think most people would be surprised the impact of them disappearing or dying would have. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I read something recently about this.....many people (apart from mums dads with kids etc, not set in stone) said that when asked how many people actively listened to them, and they felt they could talk about their real feelings and issues they were experiencing was exceptionally low. Most people in the survey felt they couldn't discuss emotions they were feeling with their 'friends'. Having said that I have many, 'friends' but only 3 I can talk openly and deeply with, and they are not my family.... I don't consider myself to have many friends, just acquaintances |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I often post on here but it’s like I’m talking to myself a lot if the time
Some people noticed you posting. I feel like that on here sometimes but I'm lucky one I found someone on here I know he miss me. If I don't message him for a hour he asks if I'm ok. We been messaging eachother everyday for 3 years now."
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"I often post on here but it’s like I’m talking to myself a lot if the time
I know the feeling x
How do you feel about it? X"
To be honest I'm not that bothered about it. Fab is a very fickle place x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From my family the only person that would notice would be my son, and that's coz we message or speak a few times a week.
My mum wouldn't notice, my dad may notice after a couple of months of no contact. He would just assume I'd been working.
Work would obviously notice and I do believe they'd miss me as a good worker and as the work "mum" but that would be short lived I reckon.
My neighbours wouldn't notice until the garden got so overgrown they'd complain to the authority instead of checking in on me.
I have a handful of friends that would notice and truly miss me.
The person that would miss me the most would be B and it's something I never want to have to think about
P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"From my family the only person that would notice would be my son, and that's coz we message or speak a few times a week.
My mum wouldn't notice, my dad may notice after a couple of months of no contact. He would just assume I'd been working.
Work would obviously notice and I do believe they'd miss me as a good worker and as the work "mum" but that would be short lived I reckon.
My neighbours wouldn't notice until the garden got so overgrown they'd complain to the authority instead of checking in on me.
I have a handful of friends that would notice and truly miss me.
The person that would miss me the most would be B and it's something I never want to have to think about
P"
I'd miss you terribly and it's ironic that one so small would leave such a big hole in my life.
Fortunately that's not happening.
B |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What would happen if you just disappeared? Would you be missed? Would the people that say they care actually notice you were gone?
Are most people just acquaintances there when your happy and things going well? Would they be there if you messaged or rang at 5am?
Or are we all so self absorbed that we say we care but really dont.? "
I thought for a long time that no, no one would miss me except maybe my kids. But after a very awful few months I've finally started to realise I'm lucky to have people that genuinely care. Other than my family and my kids, there are people in this world that love me for me, want me to be happy and care when I'm not. I know not everyone has that and I know how truly lucky I am.
S x |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"What would happen if you just disappeared? Would you be missed? Would the people that say they care actually notice you were gone?
Are most people just acquaintances there when your happy and things going well? Would they be there if you messaged or rang at 5am?
Or are we all so self absorbed that we say we care but really dont.? "
This question makes me quite upset to think about. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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I'd miss a lot of people if they disappeared. Even if we don't talk remotely often, I'd hope they know that if they ever needed someone to talk to, I'd be there at whatever time.
A long time ago I didn't think I'd be missed. Actually, I felt more like it wouldn't even be noticed. I could sort of go and that would be okay, the world would carry on and no one would care. Now I know my family (and I hope a few of my friends, well I know a few at least) would notice and try and check up on me. I'm quite lucky to feel that way now. |
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In real life? Yes, I'd be missed. Mostly by family, but I'd be missed after a couple of weeks.
There's a great if eerie documentary called Dreams of a Life, about a sociable and popular woman who died without her death being noticed for a few years. She was discovered in her flat, sitting on a chair with her TV still on.
It's not as grim as it sounds, it's actually a fascinating if haunting film. |
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This is a heart breaking post ... I never think we realise how much we are appreciated and needed by others until it’s often too late. Yes there are always times when we feel alone and unwanted but when the chips are down the people around us do care but sometimes we need to let them know how we are feeling . People do carry on with their day to day life and assume we are busy rather than contacting us . If anyone feels alone we are always happy to support or chat anytime x  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In real life? Yes, I'd be missed. Mostly by family, but I'd be missed after a couple of weeks.
There's a great if eerie documentary called Dreams of a Life, about a sociable and popular woman who died without her death being noticed for a few years. She was discovered in her flat, sitting on a chair with her TV still on.
It's not as grim as it sounds, it's actually a fascinating if haunting film."
I watched that.. hard to think no one noticed for such a long time.. |
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I think the answer will be, you will be missed by those you influence strongly. I ask questions like this walking past a cemetery as a short cut.
Do you know if you are dead? How do we know the proper way to be sent off? etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I did. I moved away for a job. My youngest daughter missed me terribly it took two weeks for the older two to cling round my neck and show there undying love and devotion. It was nice to feel appreciated and loved. That was that. I was home and back to being insignificant within the month. Just the way they like it. So I do know I would be missed and there's nobody that can take my place, not even for 5 days a week. |
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