FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Difficult situation
Difficult situation
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So I find myself in a difficult situation here on fab I'm a single dad with 5 young children I run my own business and work full time weekends I spend all my time with my children and have very little help regards babysitters or support so I find it very difficult to find time to meet new people on here in the last 3 weeks I've had to turn down 3 invites for meets 1 couple and 2 single ladies as the only times they could so where either late evening or over a weekend I dont want to come across as that guy who only wants yo meet on his lunch for a quick fuck and go as I would like the social side of swinging and meets as well as the sex. Does anyone else find themselves in the same situation or similar???
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm very protective over my children and I tend to only have family members look after them if I do ever go out as I wouldn't be happy with a stranger in my house alone with my children maybe shooting myself in the foot alittle with that and as one of my children had autism he isnt keen on strangers either. So as the thread suggests it's a difficult situation and I feel horrible turning lovely people down especially as I k ow how hard it can be for single guys like myself to get meets on here and I've turned down 3 in the last few weeks. I dont want people thinking I'm a time waster or picture collector |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I find myself in a difficult situation here on fab I'm a single dad with 5 young children I run my own business and work full time weekends I spend all my time with my children and have very little help regards babysitters or support so I find it very difficult to find time to meet new people on here in the last 3 weeks I've had to turn down 3 invites for meets 1 couple and 2 single ladies as the only times they could so where either late evening or over a weekend I dont want to come across as that guy who only wants yo meet on his lunch for a quick fuck and go as I would like the social side of swinging and meets as well as the sex. Does anyone else find themselves in the same situation or similar???
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Its a tough one.
Sounds like you'll need support if wanting a social life, either off here or vanilla. Make friends with the kids friends parents and see if they can help you once in a while in return you do the same. For example kid sleepovers etc xxx
Good luck x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is this place right for you considering your family life at the minute op? Until you can make something happen to get you regular free time you might end up doing your own head in by not being able to meet those you get chatting to. Mayne even starting resenting your nippers over it. I would hope though that this wouldn't be the case op and that you can find away to free up some regular time  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"OP, I'd like to know what it is that you're doing to get invites.... "
I dont know that I'm doing anything I'm just me I talk to people nicely read peoples profiles and not send dick pics to people etc I'm not doing anything else |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
If the only time you can meet is your lunch break, you will struggle, it doesn't sound very fulfilling for anyone.
Maybe chat to the other parents, you could do babysitting swaps where you take turns watching each others kids so you can have some free time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That is a right predicament you've got there OP. We can relate to your frustrations. I work weekends, more often than not and Peach has pretty much every weekend off. So it's not often we get to do vanilla things, let alone swing/kink things, together. Sometimes we wait for an opportunity and seize it, others we carefully make arrangements.
I'd suggest the same as Nicecouple and try to book one evening, or weekend even, a month for yourself. It's highly admirable, your dedicated parenting but it would be beneficial for you, and ultimately your children, if you take some time for yourself.
And look on the bright side, you're very new here and already you're turning down offers. Most have to wait and work at for months and months to get a hint of interest. You must be doing something right, just keep it up, be patient and don't lose heart
Fuzz |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
I talk to people nicely read peoples profiles and not send dick pics to people
Do you think there is a difference between sending dick pics to people and having them in public on a profile ?"
Are you suggesting that my dick pictures should be on my friends only pictures? Any and all advice appreciated |
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"OP, I'd like to know what it is that you're doing to get invites....
I dont know that I'm doing anything I'm just me I talk to people nicely read peoples profiles and not send dick pics to people etc I'm not doing anything else "
Oh, fair play - pretty much the sane approach as I try to take.
You're obviously just better looking than I am  |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
"
I talk to people nicely read peoples profiles and not send dick pics to people
Do you think there is a difference between sending dick pics to people and having them in public on a profile ?
Are you suggesting that my dick pictures should be on my friends only pictures? Any and all advice appreciated "
If you're getting offers to meet then I'd say your profile is working OK as it is, no? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Any and all advice appreciated
You obviously don't need any advice as you have been invited to meet two single women and a couple in three weeks. "
I agree yet any improvements to my profile I can make then all the better |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is this place right for you considering your family life at the minute op? Until you can make something happen to get you regular free time you might end up doing your own head in by not being able to meet those you get chatting to. Mayne even starting resenting your nippers over it. I would hope though that this wouldn't be the case op and that you can find away to free up some regular time "
I kind of think along the same lines as the above ^ especially as having been a single parent for 27 years! Kids come first and if you're unable to orgaise any childcare then it won't happen. If you can only do weekday daytime meets then state this on your profile as lots of people do just these ... that would be helpful to prospective meets |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"OP, I'd like to know what it is that you're doing to get invites....
I dont know that I'm doing anything I'm just me I talk to people nicely read peoples profiles and not send dick pics to people etc I'm not doing anything else
Oh, fair play - pretty much the sane approach as I try to take.
You're obviously just better looking than I am "
I wouldn't say I was any better looking than you dont put yourself down |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you work full time, your young children must go to an after school club. Is there a member of staff who works there that also does private babysitting, as your children will already know them. "
This is very good advice ^^^ |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is this place right for you considering your family life at the minute op? Until you can make something happen to get you regular free time you might end up doing your own head in by not being able to meet those you get chatting to. Mayne even starting resenting your nippers over it. I would hope though that this wouldn't be the case op and that you can find away to free up some regular time
I kind of think along the same lines as the above ^ especially as having been a single parent for 27 years! Kids come first and if you're unable to orgaise any childcare then it won't happen. If you can only do weekday daytime meets then state this on your profile as lots of people do just these ... that would be helpful to prospective meets "
My worry with doing that is the ruling out any other meets and also sounding like a chancer which I'm not I wouldn't wanna put anyone off.
Hopefully I will be able to get child care and have more meets in the near future. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Any and all advice appreciated
You obviously don't need any advice as you have been invited to meet two single women and a couple in three weeks.
I agree yet any improvements to my profile I can make then all the better "
Your profile isnt the issue though is it???
I thought family life and free time was....
Lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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If I know in with plenty of advance then yes I can clear a half day for a meet and have done once when on here also if the weather is really bad sometimes I have more time as I'm a landscaper I get some free time. So i can sometimes get more time yes but the flip side is if I dont work I'm not earning |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You can book a day in advance, but its touch n go if anyone will be available for you.
I was a single parent for 14 years and never really had a social life.
Some things, sometimes, you have to make sacrafices over, until children are older and trusted on their own.
Loads of us have spent time given you advice. I don't think there is any other possibilities!
Again, good luck.... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" the flip side is if I dont work I'm not earning
You must need to earn a lot as a single parent to pay for five children at afterschool club and daycare for all the school holidays. "
It does cost a fortune I'm lucky that I do not have a mortgage to pay anymore as my wife's life insurance cleared our mortgage but most of my money goes on child care yes |
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Wow...... Life must be difficult for you. I was left on my own to bring up an eleven year old. Had a business to run which involved travel, some overseas. Had no family but some wonderful friends/neighbours who stepped in and helped....what would I have done without them?!!
Take care and good luck....!! |
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By *ilth500Man
over a year ago
Merseyside |
" the flip side is if I dont work I'm not earning
You must need to earn a lot as a single parent to pay for five children at afterschool club and daycare for all the school holidays.
It does cost a fortune I'm lucky that I do not have a mortgage to pay anymore as my wife's life insurance cleared our mortgage but most of my money goes on child care yes"
i think at this moment in time you should concentrate on your kids mate,and yous fab to just stay in touch with people, you seem to be doing a incredible job and obviously a brilliant dad but it seems from your posts that any potential meets are going to affect you/your children at this moment in time. hats off to you buddy your doing brilliantly. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" most of my money goes on child care yes
Would you be better off if you didn't work ?"
Probably yes but I would never be a government sponge I can work and am able to work I dont see why anyone should pay for me to have an easy life but that's just me. I didn't have children to live off the state |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
Yes.
I have two young children, one of whom is a livewire! and a doddery mum who we live with so i can look after her.
Free time to myself is a luxury and it makes meeting folk right awkward.
However, my motto is family before fanny
I did have a regular FWB until October last year but i found that quite stressful because it put pressure on me to be available to him on a weekly basis but i’d rather do that for someone i had romantic feelings for, not just to get a dicking.
It’s not easy OP, but things will work themselves out eventually. Do what works for you and your circumstances right now and just be honest with folk. If they have all the info they can’t moan then because they had a choice. |
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" most of my money goes on child care yes
Would you be better off if you didn't work ?
Probably yes but I would never be a government sponge I can work and am able to work I dont see why anyone should pay for me to have an easy life but that's just me. I didn't have children to live off the state "
There is a satisfaction in earning your own living and working for yourself....
I know it is not easy. I never even thought about quitting...just kept going. I did enjoy what I was doing.... |
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I’m not sure what the local authorities help is like where you are, but my authority offer free respite care for parents looking after children with autism, could be for a few hours in the evening or an overnight break.
As others have said, there’s great staff that your children already know that probably could do with some extra money for a bit of babysitting.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How about putting on your profile that you can only meet at lunch times and pointing it out as soon as you get chatting? That way you'll only get invitations from people happy with that situation "
I do once chatting to people normally explain my situation but I wouldn't wanna put people off before they get chatting with me or like to think once people have chatted with me for a bit they will see I'm genuine and maybe be more interested or up for a short meet or spontaneous me |
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"How about putting on your profile that you can only meet at lunch times and pointing it out as soon as you get chatting? That way you'll only get invitations from people happy with that situation
I do once chatting to people normally explain my situation but I wouldn't wanna put people off before they get chatting with me or like to think once people have chatted with me for a bit they will see I'm genuine and maybe be more interested or up for a short meet or spontaneous me "
I'm not being harsh here but if someone told us they could only meet in their lunch break after chatting and gaining our interest we'd be pretty miffed. I genuinely do think you should be up front, it's not fair on the people you're talking to otherwise |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How about putting on your profile that you can only meet at lunch times and pointing it out as soon as you get chatting? That way you'll only get invitations from people happy with that situation
I do once chatting to people normally explain my situation but I wouldn't wanna put people off before they get chatting with me or like to think once people have chatted with me for a bit they will see I'm genuine and maybe be more interested or up for a short meet or spontaneous me
I'm not being harsh here but if someone told us they could only meet in their lunch break after chatting and gaining our interest we'd be pretty miffed. I genuinely do think you should be up front, it's not fair on the people you're talking to otherwise "
Point taken x |
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