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Non exclusive dating a fwb
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What do you do date wise with your fwb? its it just about sex or can you happily romantically date them without conflicting your feelings and happily share your fwb with others.
How do you cope with jealousy in your relationship and are you willing to communicate equally in order to resolve any issues that may arise? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't do fab fwb (prefer them as bwf) but I've done non-fab longterm fwbs for 26 years and it's no different to any other "friend" because that's what they are! Real life every day really great friends! Don't see them more don't see them less never met them just for sex because they are just really great friends ... no rules necessary |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would do proper date stuff like meeting for drinks or food or summit, before spending the night naked together. If it was something that we both wanted to do. If she just wanted to go straight to bed I'm good with that too.
I just set clear boundaries at the start that whatever we get up to we do so as fwb and I do not want a relationship. They will only have become a fwb if they feel the same way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't call him my fwb but I have a regular fab meet. He lives two hours away so when we see each other it is pretty much sex sex sex. 
Dating sounds a bit much, but we do talk every day and if we were closer I'd imagine that we'd hang out. |
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"What do you do date wise with your fwb? its it just about sex or can you happily romantically date them without conflicting your feelings and happily share your fwb with others.
How do you cope with jealousy in your relationship and are you willing to communicate equally in order to resolve any issues that may arise?"
If a fwb does sex with someone else, they get a high-five over coffee and everyone in the café kinda stares. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I don't call him my fwb because sex isn't a benefit to a friendship if that makes sense? Dear friend or daft twat if I'm really feeling the love for him. We do lots of things! We go to gigs, gallery exhibitions, rum tastings, pop up restaurants, farmer's markets, cheese restaurants. I love going on dates - spending time with another and flirting and laughing and enjoying each other in a not just sexual way.
We talk, a lot. Openly and honestly. Sometimes I've had the odd niggle of jealousy but not for some time - I self reflected and realised that it came about because I was worried about being replaced and not being of any importance to him. I like feeling like I matter to someone; I tend to keep things compartmentalised and keep people at arms length but when I let someone in I feel a bit... exposed? Vulnerable is better I guess. A quick conversation removed my daft fears and worries. I'm happy for him and he is for me and it just works. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't call him my fwb because sex isn't a benefit to a friendship if that makes sense? Dear friend or daft twat if I'm really feeling the love for him. We do lots of things! We go to gigs, gallery exhibitions, rum tastings, pop up restaurants, farmer's markets, cheese restaurants. I love going on dates - spending time with another and flirting and laughing and enjoying each other in a not just sexual way.
We talk, a lot. Openly and honestly. Sometimes I've had the odd niggle of jealousy but not for some time - I self reflected and realised that it came about because I was worried about being replaced and not being of any importance to him. I like feeling like I matter to someone; I tend to keep things compartmentalised and keep people at arms length but when I let someone in I feel a bit... exposed? Vulnerable is better I guess. A quick conversation removed my daft fears and worries. I'm happy for him and he is for me and it just works. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think if you start doing normal things with a fwb type you do run the risk of developing feelings for them. That can happen when you’re just having sex with them as well mind cos of the oxytocin hormone in our brains makes you bond with people!
As for jealousy and controlling it, I wouldn’t have a clue. If a guy I liked and was shagging went and shagged someone else I’d probably want to stick a nail gun through their heads. |
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"I don't do fab fwb (prefer them as bwf) but I've done non-fab longterm fwbs for 26 years and it's no different to any other "friend" because that's what they are! Real life every day really great friends! Don't see them more don't see them less never met them just for sex because they are just really great friends ... no rules necessary "
What's a bwf?
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"I would do proper date stuff like meeting for drinks or food or summit, before spending the night naked together. If it was something that we both wanted to do. If she just wanted to go straight to bed I'm good with that too.
I just set clear boundaries at the start that whatever we get up to we do so as fwb and I do not want a relationship. They will only have become a fwb if they feel the same way."
I agree  |
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"I don't call him my fwb but I have a regular fab meet. He lives two hours away so when we see each other it is pretty much sex sex sex.
Dating sounds a bit much, but we do talk every day and if we were closer I'd imagine that we'd hang out."
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"What do you do date wise with your fwb? its it just about sex or can you happily romantically date them without conflicting your feelings and happily share your fwb with others.
How do you cope with jealousy in your relationship and are you willing to communicate equally in order to resolve any issues that may arise?
If a fwb does sex with someone else, they get a high-five over coffee and everyone in the café kinda stares."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't do fab fwb (prefer them as bwf) but I've done non-fab longterm fwbs for 26 years and it's no different to any other "friend" because that's what they are! Real life every day really great friends! Don't see them more don't see them less never met them just for sex because they are just really great friends ... no rules necessary
What's a bwf?
"
"Benefit with friends" I use it instead of fwb on fab ... fwb is a recognised every day thing but totally different to how people generally do it on here so prefer to keep them separate
Fab fwbs tend to be built on sex whereas nonfab fwbs tend to be built on friendships so I keep the definitions separate, especially as I've always done both |
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"I don't call him my fwb because sex isn't a benefit to a friendship if that makes sense? Dear friend or daft twat if I'm really feeling the love for him. We do lots of things! We go to gigs, gallery exhibitions, rum tastings, pop up restaurants, farmer's markets, cheese restaurants. I love going on dates - spending time with another and flirting and laughing and enjoying each other in a not just sexual way.
We talk, a lot. Openly and honestly. Sometimes I've had the odd niggle of jealousy but not for some time - I self reflected and realised that it came about because I was worried about being replaced and not being of any importance to him. I like feeling like I matter to someone; I tend to keep things compartmentalised and keep people at arms length but when I let someone in I feel a bit... exposed? Vulnerable is better I guess. A quick conversation removed my daft fears and worries. I'm happy for him and he is for me and it just works. "
That does make sense and to reach an mutual understanding of each others fears and worries and being able to rectify it is extremely special |
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"I think if you start doing normal things with a fwb type you do run the risk of developing feelings for them. That can happen when you’re just having sex with them as well mind cos of the oxytocin hormone in our brains makes you bond with people!
As for jealousy and controlling it, I wouldn’t have a clue. If a guy I liked and was shagging went and shagged someone else I’d probably want to stick a nail gun through their heads. "
That's understandable, do you prefer exclusive relationships? |
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"I don't do fab fwb (prefer them as bwf) but I've done non-fab longterm fwbs for 26 years and it's no different to any other "friend" because that's what they are! Real life every day really great friends! Don't see them more don't see them less never met them just for sex because they are just really great friends ... no rules necessary
What's a bwf?
"Benefit with friends" I use it instead of fwb on fab ... fwb is a recognised every day thing but totally different to how people generally do it on here so prefer to keep them separate
Fab fwbs tend to be built on sex whereas nonfab fwbs tend to be built on friendships so I keep the definitions separate, especially as I've always done both "
That is a great terminology and I've always hated fuck buddy so thank you |
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Fascinating thread, so different for everyone, but some common threads run through all our experiences of managing the mindfuck that is finding someone you really bond with, somewhere you didn't expect to find them. |
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"Fascinating thread, so different for everyone, but some common threads run through all our experiences of managing the mindfuck that is finding someone you really bond with, somewhere you didn't expect to find them. "
Yes and lots on non exclusive fwb have gone on to be both agreed exclusive couples and more, its lovely |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like the term “Playmate”
I had one not so long ago, we set boundaries and we had a great thing, we went to clubs and meets together and had a great non-judgemental attitude towards each other.
He always thought I’d be the one to get jealous, but I seriously didn’t give a fuck if he played with others, as we weren’t in a relationship right? And we never agreed exclusivity.
So, I met up with a couple on my own one weekend, had a great time! He was always saying I should see other people because he was very busy, when I did he went absolutely mental about it! We got over that and I assumed because he was so upset and jealous, maybe he had feelings for me. When not playing out he pretty much spoiled me rotten and took me out, he knew what he was doing....
I decided to admit I’d developed feelings for him and surprisingly he shut me out completely and didn’t speak to me for weeks!
It was bloody soul destroying and really hurt that someone would just disregard my feelings like that. I tried to salvage something from it but it wasn’t the same.
I've cut him off completely now and learned a valuable lesson from it.
If you have a playmate and it works, you definitely have my blessing.... |
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"I like the term “Playmate”
I had one not so long ago, we set boundaries and we had a great thing, we went to clubs and meets together and had a great non-judgemental attitude towards each other.
He always thought I’d be the one to get jealous, but I seriously didn’t give a fuck if he played with others, as we weren’t in a relationship right? And we never agreed exclusivity.
So, I met up with a couple on my own one weekend, had a great time! He was always saying I should see other people because he was very busy, when I did he went absolutely mental about it! We got over that and I assumed because he was so upset and jealous, maybe he had feelings for me. When not playing out he pretty much spoiled me rotten and took me out, he knew what he was doing....
I decided to admit I’d developed feelings for him and surprisingly he shut me out completely and didn’t speak to me for weeks!
It was bloody soul destroying and really hurt that someone would just disregard my feelings like that. I tried to salvage something from it but it wasn’t the same.
I've cut him off completely now and learned a valuable lesson from it.
If you have a playmate and it works, you definitely have my blessing...."
Thank you for sharing what happened x |
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By *manaWoman
over a year ago
Basingstoke |
My fwb and I are friends, first and foremost.
We didnt meet on fab, we kinda fell into swinging but we have a great friendship. Boundaries and expectations must be set and spoken about, that's where problems arise.
We have slept together and with others both together and apart, theres no jealousy but I have felt like I was being replaced at one point. That was my issue, my self confidence and once we communicated all was fine |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"If I ever find a FWB I'll let you know. Lol
Ahhh she's out there somewhere
I'll have to advertise in the local media. Lol
Oooh can I write your advert perleassssssse  "
That's got to be worth a laugh. Have a go. |
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"My fwb and I are friends, first and foremost.
We didnt meet on fab, we kinda fell into swinging but we have a great friendship. Boundaries and expectations must be set and spoken about, that's where problems arise.
We have slept together and with others both together and apart, theres no jealousy but I have felt like I was being replaced at one point. That was my issue, my self confidence and once we communicated all was fine "
Similar to _eli's reply, and communication was what is very important as well.
Im glad you and your fwb are both fine x |
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"If I ever find a FWB I'll let you know. Lol
Ahhh she's out there somewhere
I'll have to advertise in the local media. Lol
Oooh can I write your advert perleassssssse
That's got to be worth a laugh. Have a go. "
Hang on let me get my thesaurus out  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I managed it in the past. I cared about them. Spent social time with them and had great sex.
Always managed that until Beast but then we always said we were a couple not fwb and I think that's where the issues arrised. We fell hard for each other but we both have complicated personal lives so couldn't be properly together. He didn't want to share me, I was struggling to trust him and it all tumbled down in a big fat mess. Still all up in the air really. We are meant to be done but struggling to say that final good bye |
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Redhill |
We live far apart, so we can only meet for a few hours at a time...so not much “dating” per se, though I’d love to.
I am a jealous person.  so I tend to go for the “I don’t need to know” approach. I had another fwb and I pretty much cooled things down/stopped things with him because he was just meeting too many people, haha! I didn’t feel special- just “one of the many”...
We have minimal contact between meets, which is hard for me, but it’s getting easier.
I just try to get on with things, my training, life, kids, etc- and seeing my fwb is the cherry on top, the icing of the cake... a nice bonus in my life.  |
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"I managed it in the past. I cared about them. Spent social time with them and had great sex.
Always managed that until Beast but then we always said we were a couple not fwb and I think that's where the issues arrised. We fell hard for each other but we both have complicated personal lives so couldn't be properly together. He didn't want to share me, I was struggling to trust him and it all tumbled down in a big fat mess. Still all up in the air really. We are meant to be done but struggling to say that final good bye "
Keep taking one day at a time belle, that final goodbye will come when it needs to and nobody knows when in the future that may be x |
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"We live far apart, so we can only meet for a few hours at a time...so not much “dating” per se, though I’d love to.
I am a jealous person. so I tend to go for the “I don’t need to know” approach. I had another fwb and I pretty much cooled things down/stopped things with him because he was just meeting too many people, haha! I didn’t feel special- just “one of the many”...
We have minimal contact between meets, which is hard for me, but it’s getting easier.
I just try to get on with things, my training, life, kids, etc- and seeing my fwb is the cherry on top, the icing of the cake... a nice bonus in my life. "
As long as you are happy that is ok, if your not I urge to to communicate your feelings to him.
I ended a sexual relationship as he couldn't handle my poly lifestyle and I didn't want to part on bitter terms, we are great friends now sex is not involved in our friendship. |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
My FWB meets are just sex. I couldn’t do dates, especially if the sex was shit hot, i’d end up geeting the feels.
I don’t want them texting me all the time either. You don’t get the benefits of a girlfriend without giving something back. |
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"My FWB meets are just sex. I couldn’t do dates, especially if the sex was shit hot, i’d end up geeting the feels.
I don’t want them texting me all the time either. You don’t get the benefits of a girlfriend without giving something back. "
At least you know how clear your feelings are on it though, it's a good place to be |
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Im mourning the apparent loss of an amazing bwf/playmate, who I'd hoped to have forever and could even see more coming of it...polyamory etc.
We both struggled at times, but were really good together and I really luvd her, but just as I thought we'd found a way through, literally at the moment I thought we'd sorted ourselves and seemed strongest, it's all hit the fan again and it's killing me.
DAMN YOU OXYTOCIN, hormones, life etc.
I'm lucky, I've got other gorg playmates and plenty of offers, but it's always 'the one' that does one!
Lesson learned I guess...just not sure I can ever keep things business like if I meet someone like her again.
Anyone else here ever wish they had a lower appetite for sex or no kinks, so they'd just be happy with vanilla?
Onward and upward I guess, it's all a crazy game eh!
Oversharing over, thanks for the therapy.
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Redhill |
"Im mourning the apparent loss of an amazing bwf/playmate, who I'd hoped to have forever and could even see more coming of it...polyamory etc.
We both struggled at times, but were really good together and I really luvd her, but just as I thought we'd found a way through, literally at the moment I thought we'd sorted ourselves and seemed strongest, it's all hit the fan again and it's killing me.
DAMN YOU OXYTOCIN, hormones, life etc.
I'm lucky, I've got other gorg playmates and plenty of offers, but it's always 'the one' that does one!
Lesson learned I guess...just not sure I can ever keep things business like if I meet someone like her again.
Anyone else here ever wish they had a lower appetite for sex or no kinks, so they'd just be happy with vanilla?
Onward and upward I guess, it's all a crazy game eh!
Oversharing over, thanks for the therapy.
"
Sorry you’re feeling like that... x
Your post made me wonder- those of you who have more than one fwb- are they all special? if not, what makes one more special than the rest? Will “hierarchy” issues eventually create problems? Genuine interest... |
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"Im mourning the apparent loss of an amazing bwf/playmate, who I'd hoped to have forever and could even see more coming of it...polyamory etc.
We both struggled at times, but were really good together and I really luvd her, but just as I thought we'd found a way through, literally at the moment I thought we'd sorted ourselves and seemed strongest, it's all hit the fan again and it's killing me.
DAMN YOU OXYTOCIN, hormones, life etc.
I'm lucky, I've got other gorg playmates and plenty of offers, but it's always 'the one' that does one!
Lesson learned I guess...just not sure I can ever keep things business like if I meet someone like her again.
Anyone else here ever wish they had a lower appetite for sex or no kinks, so they'd just be happy with vanilla?
Onward and upward I guess, it's all a crazy game eh!
Oversharing over, thanks for the therapy.
Sorry you’re feeling like that... x
Your post made me wonder- those of you who have more than one fwb- are they all special? if not, what makes one more special than the rest? Will “hierarchy” issues eventually create problems? Genuine interest..."
No, for me, the moment I met her everything changed...the way we vibed in and out of bed made her stand out.
Its all about connection for me...esp as I like things rough. The woman with the belt around her neck has to know you're on the same team.
She said she was cool with others and just wanted transparency, but once I told her about the others, even though I saw them less because of my growing affection for her, she'd often 'tell' me I was with others, even though I wasn't.
I found myself proving things to her, but the rot started and I could see the carcrash happening, despite my best efforts and despite her wanting to explore her kinks in ways that I couldn't be involved with.
Had things been more settled im pretty sure id've given up the others, but am now glad I didn't, though gutted to have lost her.
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I'm interested to know how others manage multiple playmates, esp if they strike gold and find a potential keeper?
Are you transparent about the others, with your harem (don't know what else to call it)?
Dyou just dump the others if you think you've met a keeper, or is it a transition?
Does anyone here manage to maintain multiple meaningful playmates?
Genuinely interested.
|
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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago
Shangri-la |
Attempted fwb type situations in the past, they all ended up wanting it to develop into a proper exclusive relationship which I had said from day one was not going to happen. Tried the FB route as well which worked for a while but he eventually wanted more & turned into a bit of a jealous psycho. |
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"Attempted fwb type situations in the past, they all ended up wanting it to develop into a proper exclusive relationship which I had said from day one was not going to happen. Tried the FB route as well which worked for a while but he eventually wanted more & turned into a bit of a jealous psycho. "
To my surprise, I think women are better at separating sex from feelings.
Men seem hardwired to collect and protect a mate/s.
A man dropping his hard won/earned harem is very different to a woman, who can have her pick almost instantly.
I'm possessive, territorial, but try to control it...but it's really hard at times, esp when you've helped a woman discover/explore her kinks, which is often a long, patient process...and then you see her indulging her newfound tastes on others who've just turned up. |
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"I'm interested to know how others manage multiple playmates, esp if they strike gold and find a potential keeper?
Are you transparent about the others, with your harem (don't know what else to call it)?
Dyou just dump the others if you think you've met a keeper, or is it a transition?
Does anyone here manage to maintain multiple meaningful playmates?
Genuinely interested.
"
Honesty is always best policy so being as transparent as possible is the only way to deal with it. Informed consent everyone knows where they stand.
For me my playmates were all different and it fit in my life. Some saw once a month some every other week or so. It is hardwork and maintaining it is sticking to your promises and putting the same effort in.
What changed is when they find someone better they forget you. For me I wouldn't dump them for someone else because what I like about them and enjoy with them is different for each.
Dumping others is a monogamous approach
Others their lifestyle changed like different work shifts, new job, moved house etc
For many I stopped seeing is they fell into routine of treating me as a booty call which isn't what I want I'm not their quick fuck when ever they choose. Others they did something stupid and ignorant and worse so no point keeping them around.
I've given up on finding many playmates or actively seeking them because I don't trust I don't give anyone the benefit of doubt now because one bitten twice shy. I was bitten way too many times.
If I could find playmates I'd trust and want the same things I'd do it again.
Variety is the spice of life and multiple mutually beneficial playmates enriches your life. Every single one of them is different so you have to value that, honesty, respect, understanding, trust and connection with out those and other key features the lifestyle won't work. |
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Redhill |
"I'm interested to know how others manage multiple playmates, esp if they strike gold and find a potential keeper?
Are you transparent about the others, with your harem (don't know what else to call it)?
Dyou just dump the others if you think you've met a keeper, or is it a transition?
Does anyone here manage to maintain multiple meaningful playmates?
Genuinely interested.
"
I am very territorial too, so can’t be part of a group of playmates... I’d want pole position always, hehe x
Hoping now that time and space apart will sort my head out. It is supposed to be fun, after all!
Hope you feel better soon x |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"I'm interested to know how others manage multiple playmates, esp if they strike gold and find a potential keeper?
Are you transparent about the others, with your harem (don't know what else to call it)?
Dyou just dump the others if you think you've met a keeper, or is it a transition?
Does anyone here manage to maintain multiple meaningful playmates?
Genuinely interested.
"
Harem.  I love that, I really do.
I don't "dump" the others - just because I meet someone new and we really click and there's all that addictive new relationship energy going around, it doesn't lessen or affect how I feel about the others I see.
If one asks me about someone, I'll tell them to a certain extent (not including graphic details). I guess I just try and be mindful and respectful and treat them how I would like to be. That's not to say I've always got it perfect, there's been the odd cock up along the way but I'm a lot better and conscious now of others. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What do you do date wise with your fwb? its it just about sex or can you happily romantically date them without conflicting your feelings and happily share your fwb with others.
How do you cope with jealousy in your relationship and are you willing to communicate equally in order to resolve any issues that may arise?"
I have a fwb, we do have strong feelings for each other, we live 2 hours apart and our situations are such that we can only see each other every 1 to 2 months. We both understand we're not exclusive to each other so we still swing in the club separately and have minimal jealousy, a little bit is healthy. Talking it out helps matters and just confirming how you feel about each other.
When we are together we do cinema, meals, walks together, plus all the indoor stuff I'm happy to share him, after all I want him to be happy! |
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"I'm interested to know how others manage multiple playmates, esp if they strike gold and find a potential keeper?
Are you transparent about the others, with your harem (don't know what else to call it)?
Dyou just dump the others if you think you've met a keeper, or is it a transition?
Does anyone here manage to maintain multiple meaningful playmates?
Genuinely interested.
I am very territorial too, so can’t be part of a group of playmates... I’d want pole position always, hehe x
Hoping now that time and space apart will sort my head out. It is supposed to be fun, after all!
Hope you feel better soon x "
Thanks...i feel really low atm. It's a mind-melt and transparency always seems to end the same way.
Women say they want it, so I eventually believe them and tell all, then they can't handle it and go bonkers...usually just as I'm about to dump others in favour of them.
I guess I just need to either only have playmates or commit to just one, but life never seems to work that way, its rarely a clean handover.
This is def meant to be fun, but feels super sh*t atm.
Damn my kinks and appetites.
Off to f*ck myself happy...joking, I couldn't feel less sexy. Hohum...to the pub. That gawd for beer! |
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Redhill |
"
What changed is when they find someone better they forget you. For me I wouldn't dump them for someone else because what I like about them and enjoy with them is different for each.
Dumping others is a monogamous approach
For many I stopped seeing is they fell into routine of treating me as a booty call which isn't what I want I'm not their quick fuck when ever they choose.
Variety is the spice of life and multiple mutually beneficial playmates enriches your life. Every single one of them is different so you have to value that, honesty, respect, understanding, trust and connection with out those and other key features the lifestyle won't work."
An excellent post, and these points reflect exactly how I feel. I have had up to 3 fwbs on the go and each one is very special to me- would never dump one in favour of the other- but it seemed to me that *I* was being sidelined for other people? With one of them I knew it was time to call it quits when I saw action photos/videos of him with someone else on his profile here... I felt sick. 
And sometimes I also feel that I am a toy, something that gets picked up when it suits them. No respect to my time.
Ah well. there is always cake. Lol! |
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What changed is when they find someone better they forget you. For me I wouldn't dump them for someone else because what I like about them and enjoy with them is different for each.
Dumping others is a monogamous approach
For many I stopped seeing is they fell into routine of treating me as a booty call which isn't what I want I'm not their quick fuck when ever they choose.
Variety is the spice of life and multiple mutually beneficial playmates enriches your life. Every single one of them is different so you have to value that, honesty, respect, understanding, trust and connection with out those and other key features the lifestyle won't work.
An excellent post, and these points reflect exactly how I feel. I have had up to 3 fwbs on the go and each one is very special to me- would never dump one in favour of the other- but it seemed to me that *I* was being sidelined for other people? With one of them I knew it was time to call it quits when I saw action photos/videos of him with someone else on his profile here... I felt sick.
And sometimes I also feel that I am a toy, something that gets picked up when it suits them. No respect to my time.
Ah well. there is always cake. Lol! "
Some of my playmates had other playmates others I was their only one and that was their choice. I've gotten rid of playmates when I found they were barebacking random people. That made me sick to my stomach and it does put a wrench in the works having to abstain for testing as they have had sex with a prolific barebackers who could potentially have anything and because condoms aren't 100% safe they just reduce possibilities of infections. Having several playmates it's unfair that one person's blatant disregard for sexual health will effect many others. It would be unwise for me to continue with someone who could potentially infect me and then me unknowingly infect other playmates then who could infect theirs all in a short time I would be utterly devastated if it ever happened. Regular testing and use condoms minimises risk but all it takes is one broken condom or one slipping off.
I've had playmates who ghost me because someone better came along but as soon as that person's gone they suddenly think they can slip back into my life, well I'd rather be alone than be someone's desperate fuck till better comes along.
Having multiple partners of any kind is taxing but also rewarding physically
and mentally with the right people |
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What changed is when they find someone better they forget you. For me I wouldn't dump them for someone else because what I like about them and enjoy with them is different for each.
Dumping others is a monogamous approach
For many I stopped seeing is they fell into routine of treating me as a booty call which isn't what I want I'm not their quick fuck when ever they choose.
Variety is the spice of life and multiple mutually beneficial playmates enriches your life. Every single one of them is different so you have to value that, honesty, respect, understanding, trust and connection with out those and other key features the lifestyle won't work.
An excellent post, and these points reflect exactly how I feel. I have had up to 3 fwbs on the go and each one is very special to me- would never dump one in favour of the other- but it seemed to me that *I* was being sidelined for other people? With one of them I knew it was time to call it quits when I saw action photos/videos of him with someone else on his profile here... I felt sick.
And sometimes I also feel that I am a toy, something that gets picked up when it suits them. No respect to my time.
Ah well. there is always cake. Lol! "
Its funny how some women think that because I'm tall, strong and Dom, that I don't have feelings, or that I'm somehow less affected by what they do, than they are by what I do!
Everyone's different, but because women are usually able to get men with a click, they sometimes seem to think its OK to demand things they're unwilling to give themselves.
I think it's always gotta be 'lead by example', agree what you're both prepared to do, then, if it's something you've specified you need to do it first, let it sink in with the other person and give them a chance to follow your example.
Sound fair? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've loved this post it's been eye opening for me and very much reaffirmed why I wouldn't want a fab fwb/bwf/fb whereas am happy with a nonfab fwb we're all so very different and it's brilliant reading other people's take on things! Thanks nice one OP |
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