FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Being abused
Being abused
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"I'd suggest contacting the Men's Advice Line https://mensadviceline.org.uk/" This get professional help | |||
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"Has anyone been the victim of domestic abuse and or violence, and how did they get away from it " Seriously I deal with this a lot. Always happy to give advice if needed | |||
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"You are right but there are things in place. Depends a lot on where you live pal" You're so cool  you made me weep laughing this morning. And this is such a hidden and horrible thing that men so often struggle with alone. I'm so glad there are guys like you to help xxx | |||
"The worst part is that there seams to be no end of organisations that are for women but when was the last time you saw a advert aimed at men, this is something iv struggled with for years, I still have nightmares and flash backs 7 years on " I agree and as a woman, I hate this too. | |||
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"A lot of it is being ambarsed by it all, it went on for years " You should never feel embarrassed because of someone else's bad behaviour. And this is much more common than people think, I've known several men who've been through this. This isn't your fault, it isn't your fuck up, it's not anything you did or failed at. It's someone else's fuck up. You've got nothing to feel bad about. | |||
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"A lot of it is being ambarsed by it all, it went on for years " 100% nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. Not your fault. Plenty of understanding support out there, it's a really difficult thing to deal with and can take years to address or move on from. It is normal to have a very long recovery or escape time frame in domestic abuse situations. Yes some are fortunate to rapidly escape but it is a very long tough road for many others. | |||
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"Yes I was..... Slightly different though in I was emotionally abused for about 10 years. Started with silly things but back then I didn’t notice to over the years the stuff that’s shaped my future. We separated I tried to take my own life. I had help my gp was amazing he sought out resources for me. I’ve been divorced 10 years this year, it’s taken all that time to realise it wasn’t my fault, but the stupidest things trigger me......being ignored trips me out big time, being told I will speak to you later! crumples me to pieces. However........it’s the best thing that could have happened I’m living a better life and my mental health isn’t shot. I only wish I could trust enough to meet someone and when I do I mess it up oh well I’ve got my friends. If your in an abusive relationship get out it’s not healthy and the longer it lasts longer you will suffer. X " I wish I had some words to make it better | |||
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"Emotional abuse is as heinous and as damaging as physical abuse. Those scars run very very deep. " Your right the scars are deep and hard.... I sometimes wish he had been physical least those scars people would see with emotional abuse they see nothing and have no understanding of triggers. | |||
"Emotional abuse is as heinous and as damaging as physical abuse. Those scars run very very deep. Your right the scars are deep and hard.... I sometimes wish he had been physical least those scars people would see with emotional abuse they see nothing and have no understanding of triggers. " Bless you | |||
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"I personally believe Emotional abuse is so much more damaging because sometime its really hard to explain what your going throw that can lead to so much more which I have personally experience. " It’s far better policed with the Controlling and coercive behaviour law came into effect | |||
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"Best of all, went to Iraq when I was 19, but it took a evil woman to give me ptsd " Then combat stress and lots of other mens help services are open to you as well. PTSD can come from many sources so can help and understanding. | |||
"The emotional scars run deepest and longest of all. 5 years on mine are still doing me a lot of damage and have caused me more loss and hurt recently than all of the torture she put me through back then. Time does heal but it takes a hell of a long time. " | |||
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"Yes I was..... Slightly different though in I was emotionally abused for about 10 years. Started with silly things but back then I didn’t notice to over the years the stuff that’s shaped my future. We separated I tried to take my own life. I had help my gp was amazing he sought out resources for me. I’ve been divorced 10 years this year, it’s taken all that time to realise it wasn’t my fault, but the stupidest things trigger me......being ignored trips me out big time, being told I will speak to you later! crumples me to pieces. However........it’s the best thing that could have happened I’m living a better life and my mental health isn’t shot. I only wish I could trust enough to meet someone and when I do I mess it up oh well I’ve got my friends. If your in an abusive relationship get out it’s not healthy and the longer it lasts longer you will suffer. X " That's very sad to hear  I'd agree that sometimes emotional abuse can leave scars and damage as deep as physical abuse. No one should have to put up with that kind of situation and should flee from it as soon as they can | |||
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"Yes I was..... Slightly different though in I was emotionally abused for about 10 years. Started with silly things but back then I didn’t notice to over the years the stuff that’s shaped my future. We separated I tried to take my own life. I had help my gp was amazing he sought out resources for me. I’ve been divorced 10 years this year, it’s taken all that time to realise it wasn’t my fault, but the stupidest things trigger me......being ignored trips me out big time, being told I will speak to you later! crumples me to pieces. However........it’s the best thing that could have happened I’m living a better life and my mental health isn’t shot. I only wish I could trust enough to meet someone and when I do I mess it up oh well I’ve got my friends. If your in an abusive relationship get out it’s not healthy and the longer it lasts longer you will suffer. X That's very sad to hear I'd agree that sometimes emotional abuse can leave scars and damage as deep as physical abuse. No one should have to put up with that kind of situation and should flee from it as soon as they can "Broken bones will heal in months, shredded skin too but your head, if you're lucky it may only take years if it ever heals at all. Its those who have to try and deal with some of my triggers now that I feel for even though I am working on them as best I can. | |||
"I'll have to agree, a lot of mine was mental abuse, where are you, what you doing there, who you with, why you 5 minutes late home from work, now your home do the house work, why didn't you answer your phone within 10 seconds, this is all the while Im driving a fucking truck " Isn't that just what a lot of modern young women are like, or am I being deceived? My ex would be kicking off daily; shouting, complaining, demanding, commanding, tantrums, etc. The one before her was the same too, always being critical, always looking for some sort of fight, etc. Pretty much all of my male friend's partners are like that too, although to different extents. Sometimes, it's a "once a month" thing, sometimes it's every day. Just have a heart to heart with your male friends about it and you'll see how common it is. I phoned the police about it a few times when she was acting like this; The operator would hear her going nuts in the background. One time, police come round and the officer said his partner was exactly the same. It's just one of those things. Basically though, being practical; I just learnt to stand up to her. Towards the end, I couldn't care less about her kickoffs. I'd just totally ignore her. About physical abuse, remember that you have a right to self defense, and you're probably bigger than this woman. The bottom line, if she's a nightmare, and won't be mature, won't go to the doctors, etc... Leave. As hard as it may be, leave. X | |||
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"Yes I was..... Slightly different though in I was emotionally abused for about 10 years. Started with silly things but back then I didn’t notice to over the years the stuff that’s shaped my future. We separated I tried to take my own life. I had help my gp was amazing he sought out resources for me. I’ve been divorced 10 years this year, it’s taken all that time to realise it wasn’t my fault, but the stupidest things trigger me......being ignored trips me out big time, being told I will speak to you later! crumples me to pieces. However........it’s the best thing that could have happened I’m living a better life and my mental health isn’t shot. I only wish I could trust enough to meet someone and when I do I mess it up oh well I’ve got my friends. If your in an abusive relationship get out it’s not healthy and the longer it lasts longer you will suffer. X " Very similar to me. I hate myself for wasting 25yrs of my life because i was too weak to leave. To the outside world we were the perfect couple but nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors and i was too ashamed to say. I still can not beleve its over and that i was strong enough to leave but i do know that i will never trust or let anyone get close to me again. Much happier now that i am in control of my life once more, it's a great feeling. | |||
