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Let's be real
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By *ankie303Woman
over a year ago
Weirdsville South Coast Dorset |
"Loneliness....
It sucks.
It's anyone truly happy being single?
Are these types of sites the right place to find a match? "
I'm truly happy single!
Find a match for what? Just sex? Then yes |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks. So it's not just me then?
I feel lonely too and I know it's never easy to admit. Especially in a public media format such as this forum.
People here seem to connect easily and have fun. But am I the only one who is here to find a partner who I can share a real, deep connection with on top of sharing a high interest in sex etc? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm both single and happy.
Sometimes you can be with someone and unhappy and still feel lonely.
It's not always easy, but being able to be happy in your own company is possible. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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That's so true!
I think most of us have been with someone but felt the lack of connection.
I think being with someone who you do not truly feel connected with is worse than being lonely and a lone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like being single, after a 15 year abusive relationship in which I was the victim, I'm afraid I'll never fully trust a woman to be in a relationship with her |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That's so true!
I think most of us have been with someone but felt the lack of connection.
I think being with someone who you do not truly feel connected with is worse than being lonely and a lone "
I know being alone isn't easy, but learn to be happy, a time will come where you might meet someone that you share a connection with and you can share with them the happiness you already feel, begin with them will then add to that  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I agree.
It's not all the time, I'm actually happy most of the time and enjoy life.
I guess I've always wanted to find that special someone but it's hard when you're a perv like us lot haha  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I agree.
It's not all the time, I'm actually happy most of the time and enjoy life.
I guess I've always wanted to find that special someone but it's hard when you're a perv like us lot haha "
Patience is key, they will come along when you least expect it, stay positive, it will happen and it will be worth the wait  |
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
I'd been very happily single and playing on the swinging scene for 13 years.
He was stuck in a miserable marriage and playing around for a year or two.
We met here 6 years ago.
He quickly left his wife and we are perfectly blissfully happy together now.
So yes, you can find your match here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can get lonely at times too but more often than not I appreciate my own space to process my own thoughts.
Being alone is better than being with the wrong person x |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"Why not? I'm just curious "
I've never had the best luck with relationships so I decided that I'm better off single. It works for me, I go out with my friends, fuck when I want to and don't get all the drama from a relationship. Sometimes it's nice to have a spooning session but I don't want someone in bed with me most nights, once or twice a week is plenty. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find Women on dating sites to be..... Not as open minded  "
Some arnt, I am on pof though so we are out there.
However I am on there for a FWB not a boyfriend lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Loneliness....
It sucks.
It's anyone truly happy being single?
Are these types of sites the right place to find a match? "
I agree. I hate being single but I just can’t do vanilla  |
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I've not been single for long but I've had bouts of it in the past and while many aspects of it are great, the lonely times stand out quite heavily too.
I'm certainly not in any hurry to find a partner but if it came along then I'd be all in although it couldn't be be purely vanilla.
FWB...yeah that would be awesome as long as the friends part is just as big as the benefits so would prefer someone to be fairly close but travelling isn't out of the question either.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm probably quite incapable of a relationship hahaha been happily single for 26 years! Now kids have "gone" would love to find an adventurer friend but I do it all on my own anyway  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've known numerous people who've met perfect life partners here but it's not always a fairytale ending. We knew a lovely couple who'd met here, they were so utterly made for each other. She ended up having to cancel their wedding and report his death on the same day, he had a giant heart attack and died on the spot. I think all any of us can do is keep trying and hope for the best. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Loneliness....
It sucks.
It's anyone truly happy being single?
Are these types of sites the right place to find a match? "
I share with friends so get the companionship at home that I need. With this being the case I am certain I am happy remaining single but if I lived alone and didnt spend enough time with friends my mindset could well change.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Been single basically 10 years give it take the odd few month relationships I’ve had if you can even call them that. People say it will happen when you’re not expecting it or stop looking for it and it will happen. When you’ve been on your own so long and don’t like it, it’s hard not to want to look for it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I feel lonely sometimes.
I've been single for a long time now and have come to the conclusion that I'm just not relationship material.
I'm not good at living with other people.
I crave intimacy- but when it suits me
Selfish and stuck in my ways - I've made my peace with being alone now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I feel lonely sometimes.
I've been single for a long time now and have come to the conclusion that I'm just not relationship material.
I'm not good at living with other people.
I crave intimacy- but when it suits me
Selfish and stuck in my ways - I've made my peace with being alone now."
My ex was this all over.
We were together 1.5yrs but 3 months ago I walked away.
I live alone so do miss the company but it is worth it as I could be in the same room as him but still feel lonely and ignored, which was worse |
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There is a hell of a lot to be said for what a lot of couples are doing now which is being in a relationship but living separately so you have your own space too.
Yeah it costs more but at the cost of a relationship breaking down that has sometimes got to be an option worth exploring. |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"I feel lonely sometimes.
I've been single for a long time now and have come to the conclusion that I'm just not relationship material.
I'm not good at living with other people.
I crave intimacy- but when it suits me
Selfish and stuck in my ways - I've made my peace with being alone now."
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I feel lonely sometimes.
I've been single for a long time now and have come to the conclusion that I'm just not relationship material.
I'm not good at living with other people.
I crave intimacy- but when it suits me
Selfish and stuck in my ways - I've made my peace with being alone now.
My ex was this all over.
We were together 1.5yrs but 3 months ago I walked away.
I live alone so do miss the company but it is worth it as I could be in the same room as him but still feel lonely and ignored, which was worse"
Being invisible to your partner is heartbreaking.
Some people need a lot of attention and its difficult to keep up with them.
I need a lot of space and find anyone that needs constant reassurance exhausting.
I know it's my issue because other people seem to manage just fine.
I'm not sure if I'm selfish or the people I attract are needy 
My ideal relationship would be living separately- but coming together for the fun stuff - holidays, going out and of course sex and intimacy.
I dont want anymore of the mundane - I dont want to do anyone elses laundry, be involved with any kids from other relationships or family members or watch them fall asleep on the sofa in front of sports
|
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"I feel lonely sometimes.
I've been single for a long time now and have come to the conclusion that I'm just not relationship material.
I'm not good at living with other people.
I crave intimacy- but when it suits me
Selfish and stuck in my ways - I've made my peace with being alone now.
My ex was this all over.
We were together 1.5yrs but 3 months ago I walked away.
I live alone so do miss the company but it is worth it as I could be in the same room as him but still feel lonely and ignored, which was worse
Being invisible to your partner is heartbreaking.
Some people need a lot of attention and its difficult to keep up with them.
I need a lot of space and find anyone that needs constant reassurance exhausting.
I know it's my issue because other people seem to manage just fine.
I'm not sure if I'm selfish or the people I attract are needy
My ideal relationship would be living separately- but coming together for the fun stuff - holidays, going out and of course sex and intimacy.
I dont want anymore of the mundane - I dont want to do anyone elses laundry, be involved with any kids from other relationships or family members or watch them fall asleep on the sofa in front of sports
"
Couldnt agree more.
Theres a lot that's crap doing on your own and always nicer to share without having to do each others crap stuff that you really should be doing for yourself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Couldnt agree more.
Theres a lot that's crap doing on your own and always nicer to share without having to do each others crap stuff that you really should be doing for yourself."
Exactly- I think a lot of relationships break down because people are just bored.
Fab is an insight into how bored some people are - cheating on their partner because the spark has gone.
Washing someone's pants takes the romance out of things |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I feel lonely sometimes.
I've been single for a long time now and have come to the conclusion that I'm just not relationship material.
I'm not good at living with other people.
I crave intimacy- but when it suits me
Selfish and stuck in my ways - I've made my peace with being alone now.
My ex was this all over.
We were together 1.5yrs but 3 months ago I walked away.
I live alone so do miss the company but it is worth it as I could be in the same room as him but still feel lonely and ignored, which was worse
Being invisible to your partner is heartbreaking.
Some people need a lot of attention and its difficult to keep up with them.
I need a lot of space and find anyone that needs constant reassurance exhausting.
I know it's my issue because other people seem to manage just fine.
I'm not sure if I'm selfish or the people I attract are needy
My ideal relationship would be living separately- but coming together for the fun stuff - holidays, going out and of course sex and intimacy.
I dont want anymore of the mundane - I dont want to do anyone elses laundry, be involved with any kids from other relationships or family members or watch them fall asleep on the sofa in front of sports
"
That is the difference between love and friends/ relationships and FWB
If you love someone you share the good and the bad together, you want them to meet your family and be around the things you care about most.
Friends with benefits is exactly that, a friend to do fun stuff with and have sex, without an emotional commitment |
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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago
Whitley Bay |
Ahh, that state of lonliness can be so tricky and complex.
Feeling lonely can be different to being alone. It can be experienced at any time, single, in a crowd, in a relationship, with friends. It's different for everyone.
It's so human to want meaningful connection, companionship and touch. I have learned not to pin that on finding 'The one'. I found that by externalising that need, I was limiting the possibility of seeing where the meaningful connection, fullfillment and love are right here in my life. In lots of different guises.
Shifting my perspective and expectation on this helped alot with the longing.
I spent time on my relating with my self but stayed open to relationship.. ironically I began to attract more love and intimacy. I realise I'm my own 'The one' which means I place less expectation on my fullfillment to only come from outside of me/from another, without compromising my wishes.
Love to all the lonely hearts x
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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being single and alone is different to being lonely. Yes, I am happy being single, the longest relationship I had lasted two years, we are now just friends, the second longest a year though it probably should have ended sooner, other than that I have managed no more than 3 months. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I feel lonely sometimes.
I've been single for a long time now and have come to the conclusion that I'm just not relationship material.
I'm not good at living with other people.
I crave intimacy- but when it suits me
Selfish and stuck in my ways - I've made my peace with being alone now.
My ex was this all over.
We were together 1.5yrs but 3 months ago I walked away.
I live alone so do miss the company but it is worth it as I could be in the same room as him but still feel lonely and ignored, which was worse
Being invisible to your partner is heartbreaking.
Some people need a lot of attention and its difficult to keep up with them.
I need a lot of space and find anyone that needs constant reassurance exhausting.
I know it's my issue because other people seem to manage just fine.
I'm not sure if I'm selfish or the people I attract are needy
My ideal relationship would be living separately- but coming together for the fun stuff - holidays, going out and of course sex and intimacy.
I dont want anymore of the mundane - I dont want to do anyone elses laundry, be involved with any kids from other relationships or family members or watch them fall asleep on the sofa in front of sports
That is the difference between love and friends/ relationships and FWB
If you love someone you share the good and the bad together, you want them to meet your family and be around the things you care about most.
Friends with benefits is exactly that, a friend to do fun stuff with and have sex, without an emotional commitment"
Everyone has their own definition of love and all of the other labels - FWB etc ..
We all need to find what works for us.
This is what is so hard.
Yearning for an illusive "soul mate " and the crushing disappointment when they dont live up to your expectations is unreasonable.
Comparing your relationship with what you think others are like etc ...
I'm not sure I want to be a part of it anymore.
I'd rather feel a bit lonely than basing my happiness on how another treats me etc ...
X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ahh, that state of lonliness can be so tricky and complex.
Feeling lonely can be different to being alone. It can be experienced at any time, single, in a crowd, in a relationship, with friends. It's different for everyone.
It's so human to want meaningful connection, companionship and touch. I have learned not to pin that on finding 'The one'. I found that by externalising that need, I was limiting the possibility of seeing where the meaningful connection, fullfillment and love are right here in my life. In lots of different guises.
Shifting my perspective and expectation on this helped alot with the longing.
I spent time on my relating with my self but stayed open to relationship.. ironically I began to attract more love and intimacy. I realise I'm my own 'The one' which means I place less expectation on my fullfillment to only come from outside of me/from another, without compromising my wishes.
Love to all the lonely hearts x
"
 |
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"
Couldnt agree more.
Theres a lot that's crap doing on your own and always nicer to share without having to do each others crap stuff that you really should be doing for yourself.
Exactly- I think a lot of relationships break down because people are just bored.
Fab is an insight into how bored some people are - cheating on their partner because the spark has gone.
Washing someone's pants takes the romance out of things "
Hey I dont mind washing someones pants if everything else is awesome and they're nice pants hahaha
I'm as domesticated as they come and partners in the past haven't liked how independent and self sufficient I am.
Finding an FWB for the good stuff.....yes please |
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"There is a hell of a lot to be said for what a lot of couples are doing now which is being in a relationship but living separately so you have your own space too.
Yeah it costs more but at the cost of a relationship breaking down that has sometimes got to be an option worth exploring."
This is probably what I’m looking for.
I have a great social life, great family and lots of friends but just looking for that bit more but not 24/7!
Someone to holiday with, enjoy new things with and obviously have great sex but not to live with every day. Someone I can phone and say had a shit day at work fancy going out for dinner?
|
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"There is a hell of a lot to be said for what a lot of couples are doing now which is being in a relationship but living separately so you have your own space too.
Yeah it costs more but at the cost of a relationship breaking down that has sometimes got to be an option worth exploring.
This is probably what I’m looking for.
I have a great social life, great family and lots of friends but just looking for that bit more but not 24/7!
Someone to holiday with, enjoy new things with and obviously have great sex but not to live with every day. Someone I can phone and say had a shit day at work fancy going out for dinner?
"
Sounds good doesnt it?
Finding someone and being honest enough to be able to say this is what I want is and them wanting the same is the almost impossible part.
Hey POF, we've got an idea for you  |
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I've been single for most of my life and, by and large, that has worked for me. I like my own company and the freedom to do what I want, when I want. I have to say though, I'm not in a hugely happy place at the moment. A long term FWB has decided to settle down with someone, I'm out of work and therefore spending long periods at home alone, someone I've talked to online for years has disappeared without trace and I'm generally feeling the down side of single life. It can get pretty lonely, but this is not the sort of loneliness that friends, hobbies or long walks can solve.
I sometimes feel like I fall down the cracks between conventional dating sites and Fab. On one hand I don't want a wife, or children. I don't want to share my home on a permanent basis and I don't even want a girlfriend. I don't think I will ever want those things, unless someone very special miraculously appears in my life.
On the other hand, neither do I really want to shag lots of different women with whom I have no real connection. I'm not averse to the occasional one-off, but I'd rather be able to spend repeated time with the same person - sometimes just socially, or with bit of cuddling and spooning, other times indulging in hot sex with someone whose likes and dislikes I know really well. In short, a FWB arrangement. Perhaps that becomes more difficult to find as people get older?
My search is also restricted considerably by my desire for any potential regular partner to share my watersports fetish, which is quite a big part of me.
Mainstream dating sites or apps are generally geared up to LTRs and whilst I'm sure there are also lots of women seeking something more casual, I can't imagine describing a liking for being peed on in my profile! Meanwhile, Fab is great for expressing exactly what you're looking for, sexually and otherwise, and I like the fact that kinks can be discussed freely. However, as a single guy I encounter the usual drawbacks which have been discussed to death on here. Lots of single women seem to join the site daily, but the turnover is also high. The "competition" is insane and the site can be pretty soul destroying from that point of view. |
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"I've been single for most of my life and, by and large, that has worked for me. I like my own company and the freedom to do what I want, when I want. I have to say though, I'm not in a hugely happy place at the moment. A long term FWB has decided to settle down with someone, I'm out of work and therefore spending long periods at home alone, someone I've talked to online for years has disappeared without trace and I'm generally feeling the down side of single life. It can get pretty lonely, but this is not the sort of loneliness that friends, hobbies or long walks can solve.
I sometimes feel like I fall down the cracks between conventional dating sites and Fab. On one hand I don't want a wife, or children. I don't want to share my home on a permanent basis and I don't even want a girlfriend. I don't think I will ever want those things, unless someone very special miraculously appears in my life.
On the other hand, neither do I really want to shag lots of different women with whom I have no real connection. I'm not averse to the occasional one-off, but I'd rather be able to spend repeated time with the same person - sometimes just socially, or with bit of cuddling and spooning, other times indulging in hot sex with someone whose likes and dislikes I know really well. In short, a FWB arrangement. Perhaps that becomes more difficult to find as people get older?
My search is also restricted considerably by my desire for any potential regular partner to share my watersports fetish, which is quite a big part of me.
Mainstream dating sites or apps are generally geared up to LTRs and whilst I'm sure there are also lots of women seeking something more casual, I can't imagine describing a liking for being peed on in my profile! Meanwhile, Fab is great for expressing exactly what you're looking for, sexually and otherwise, and I like the fact that kinks can be discussed freely. However, as a single guy I encounter the usual drawbacks which have been discussed to death on here. Lots of single women seem to join the site daily, but the turnover is also high. The "competition" is insane and the site can be pretty soul destroying from that point of view."
Yep...its a bit daunting to think of telling someone more vanilla about some of the more leftfield likes we all have. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm completely happy being single. There are ways of taking care of my needs in a way that benefits another person mutually, without it becoming a commitment. |
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"There is a hell of a lot to be said for what a lot of couples are doing now which is being in a relationship but living separately so you have your own space too.
Yeah it costs more but at the cost of a relationship breaking down that has sometimes got to be an option worth exploring.
This is probably what I’m looking for.
I have a great social life, great family and lots of friends but just looking for that bit more but not 24/7!
Someone to holiday with, enjoy new things with and obviously have great sex but not to live with every day. Someone I can phone and say had a shit day at work fancy going out for dinner?
Sounds good doesnt it?
Finding someone and being honest enough to be able to say this is what I want is and them wanting the same is the almost impossible part.
Hey POF, we've got an idea for you "
Ha ha POF is where I found out about fab!! Though POF doesn’t allow you to interested in both sexes just heterosexual based so it may take a while to convince them to advance at all
Also in POF I only get to look at guys in the meet me section if they have ticked they would like to meet me!!
I have mentioned in my POF profile that I have a fab life so hoping someone will know why I mean  |
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"There is a hell of a lot to be said for what a lot of couples are doing now which is being in a relationship but living separately so you have your own space too.
Yeah it costs more but at the cost of a relationship breaking down that has sometimes got to be an option worth exploring.
This is probably what I’m looking for.
I have a great social life, great family and lots of friends but just looking for that bit more but not 24/7!
Someone to holiday with, enjoy new things with and obviously have great sex but not to live with every day. Someone I can phone and say had a shit day at work fancy going out for dinner?
Sounds good doesnt it?
Finding someone and being honest enough to be able to say this is what I want is and them wanting the same is the almost impossible part.
Hey POF, we've got an idea for you
Ha ha POF is where I found out about fab!! Though POF doesn’t allow you to interested in both sexes just heterosexual based so it may take a while to convince them to advance at all
Also in POF I only get to look at guys in the meet me section if they have ticked they would like to meet me!!
I have mentioned in my POF profile that I have a fab life so hoping someone will know why I mean "
It's been a few years since I had a profile on there and similar to here the ratio of men to women was weighted among other factors, the biggest one is that I wear clothes made for women from time to time.
It didnt work that well so dont see the point in POF again at least for now.
Not sure I want it on there that I'm a cd for the world to see as I'm out but not that far out
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think we all feel lonely sometimes, if I was single with no kids I would take courses ie art painting drawing get in the gym stuff like that busy myself, I think it's totally possible to meet a partner on fab, two happy swingers I suppose |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I'm happy being single. Yes sometimes I miss cuddling up etc but mostly on the whole I enjoy being single.I learnt a long time ago to enjoy my own company and realised that it can be a lot lonelier in a relationship sometimes than when you are single. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its not the place its the people its like dating in reverse u start with the fucking and fantasy fulfilment so u start with a more honest baseline than normal dating so yeah its exactly the place |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Im very happy single. Im coming up to 4 years single now. I'm super social and stay busy and If I have sexual needs I sate them. I'm a very cuddly person and I'll get that from friends, family and fucks.
But I also have kids. I can imagine if I didnt have primary care of the kids my story may be different. |
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There are so many levels to this as each person is/has different needs. Lots of singles wanting a partner, lots of people in relationships wanting to be single and lots in between.
I'm married and everything in our relationship is great except the intimate side of things. I don't view this as being lonely but certainly feel frustration and rejection. I often feel like I'd be better off single but so far it's not come to that. |
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I'm a lot happier and feel less lonely now than I was when I was in a relationship that had gone stale. I've been single a couple of years, I enjoy having my own space and doing what I want when I want (within reason!). I don't think I'd want to live with anyone again anytime soon, but some form of relationship would be nice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Everyone here is lonely to a small degree, otherwise why are we here?
Even “just sex” is human contact that we all crave.
I’d be happy to have a significant other, provided we’d never live together, never dictate to each other and respect each other’s space!
Can’t imagine that being possible, so being single suits me just fine! Haha! |
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"Loneliness....
It sucks.
It's anyone truly happy being single?
Are these types of sites the right place to find a match? "
Totally...but this is definitely not the place to solve it...quite the opposite. It’s a swingers site, not a dating app. Some people have found others they’d like to stick with, but that can be said through any walk of life...not looking at this site as an answer, just a way to be sociable and have some fun along the way.
Being single is shite, where I am in my life. But fab is not the answer.
Happy fabbing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m happy being single. It suits me at this moment in my life. My work is more suitable to a single man. Also with my preference not to have children, I have in the past struggled to meet people.
At some point I expect it to change, but until it does I’m happy. |
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A longer term partner isn't the only solution to needing sex or solving loneliness.
I'm single largely by choice and only experience my aloneness negatively to the tiniest degree almost never. I love being single and can love having a partner - I just don't particularly want or need that.
If I was lonely, I'd address this before engaging with a partner, as I perceive that this provides a stronger foundation for a healthy relationship that doesn't exist to fix me and provide solutions to all of my needs.
My relationships with friends are essential to me and I always invest in them, as they have rraversed my romantic relationships and likely will be with me until they, or I, die. Similarly I invest in other relationships, including with volunteering, to help to improve the lives of others. I'm not 100% altruistic, as I gain from it.
I think it's great to know ourselves well and to understand what we need and how we can live a more satisfying life, which we'll often achieve in many ways. |
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"There is a hell of a lot to be said for what a lot of couples are doing now which is being in a relationship but living separately so you have your own space too.
Yeah it costs more but at the cost of a relationship breaking down that has sometimes got to be an option worth exploring.
This is probably what I’m looking for.
I have a great social life, great family and lots of friends but just looking for that bit more but not 24/7!
Someone to holiday with, enjoy new things with and obviously have great sex but not to live with every day. Someone I can phone and say had a shit day at work fancy going out for dinner?
Sounds good doesnt it?
Finding someone and being honest enough to be able to say this is what I want is and them wanting the same is the almost impossible part.
Hey POF, we've got an idea for you
Ha ha POF is where I found out about fab!! Though POF doesn’t allow you to interested in both sexes just heterosexual based so it may take a while to convince them to advance at all
Also in POF I only get to look at guys in the meet me section if they have ticked they would like to meet me!!
I have mentioned in my POF profile that I have a fab life so hoping someone will know why I mean
It's been a few years since I had a profile on there and similar to here the ratio of men to women was weighted among other factors, the biggest one is that I wear clothes made for women from time to time.
It didnt work that well so dont see the point in POF again at least for now.
Not sure I want it on there that I'm a cd for the world to see as I'm out but not that far out
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Yeah, not sure POF is the place to out yourself fully as the worlds perceptions are changing but not quick enough
I go in the dating sites for a while then delete them as I get fed up with the nonsense
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