A couple of the women at work were talking and bj's came up.
One asked how do you do it? (shes's been in a relationship for 10yrs) and the other replied...quickly,.it's awful, just get it over with.
I found that really sad.
I can't imagine performing a sexual act with my husband/partner that I found so distasteful..
So would you expect your partner to do something they really didn't like but you loved? (I could only enjoy it if I felt they liked what they were doing)
Or do you, would you if you knew your partner loved an act and you hates it, perform it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think it's enjoyable for either partner if one doesn't enjoy it. I would have had to find out why she doesn't like it though, is it his hygeine perhaps?
A few guys I've seen over the years have said they really enjoy me sucking them as it's obvious how much I enjoy giving it |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I think it would come down to trying to understand and appreciate what it was about the particular act that they enjoyed so much, or if it was something I liked but they didn't why they didn't like it - and from there see if a compromise could be found.
It very much depends though, if it was something I found a complete turn off then I'd find it hard to indulge them, but would at least try and explain why - similarly if it was something they didn't like I certainly wouldn't expect them to continue doing it, but again would be good to have an understanding of why.
As with most things, it's about open and honest communication. |
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"I think it would come down to trying to understand and appreciate what it was about the particular act that they enjoyed so much, or if it was something I liked but they didn't why they didn't like it - and from there see if a compromise could be found.
It very much depends though, if it was something I found a complete turn off then I'd find it hard to indulge them, but would at least try and explain why - similarly if it was something they didn't like I certainly wouldn't expect them to continue doing it, but again would be good to have an understanding of why.
As with most things, it's about open and honest communication."
I was waiting for you to come along and explain the way I feel. Thanks GM. 
Jo.Xx |
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"I don't think it's enjoyable for either partner if one doesn't enjoy it. I would have had to find out why she doesn't like it though, is it his hygeine perhaps?
A few guys I've seen over the years have said they really enjoy me sucking them as it's obvious how much I enjoy giving it "
That's a good point, talk to each other.
For me I love seeing my partner getting off on me getting off and vice versa.
And I would do stuff that may be not be my favourite if it meant a lot to them But not if I hated it.
|
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"I think it would come down to trying to understand and appreciate what it was about the particular act that they enjoyed so much, or if it was something I liked but they didn't why they didn't like it - and from there see if a compromise could be found.
It very much depends though, if it was something I found a complete turn off then I'd find it hard to indulge them, but would at least try and explain why - similarly if it was something they didn't like I certainly wouldn't expect them to continue doing it, but again would be good to have an understanding of why.
As with most things, it's about open and honest communication."
Yes...definitely |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No I quickly realised it is much better not to ask someone to try to do something they didn’t really enjoy, who only did it out of a sense of duty. The relief is tangible. |
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Conducting a sex survey:
Interviewer: Describe the worst blowjob youve ever had.
Interviewee: Fucking awesome!
From my point of view, there arr two main things: intimacy and pleasure.
If the intimacy is thefe then the pleasure is multiplied and tbats saying something as the pleasure is usually sky high!
I have a real issue Nd its why im on fab, if im honest.
My wife wont do it. She did it for her previous boyfriends and she did it for me whrn we met (she was my first girlfriend and i was 26) and i was just blown away (sic) that anyone would love me so much. As time went on, however, she just came out one day and said she didnt want to do it. She didnt like doing it and that was the end of it. I dont want to force anyone into doing something they dont want to (and what would be the point anyway?) But the intimacy vanished overnight. I tried to say "how do you think i feel - being the only man you are not prepared to do this with and being your husband? You parted ways with your other two boyfriends one of whom yoh was still doing this for when you werent sleeping with him! Its not the act - its the intimacy.
Im here trying to find that again and im devastated |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You know how men are rubbish at hoovering and loading the dishwasher so they don’t have to do it again?
Well, I like to be toothy and lick a dick like it’s medicine I don’t want. Then I won’t be asked to do it again. |
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If Jo didn’t enjoy giving BJs I would never want one, the thought of her doing something just to please me makes me feel a bit uncomfortable.
If she didn’t enjoy it, neither would I, fortunately I really enjoy them 
D. |
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"You know how men are rubbish at hoovering and loading the dishwasher so they don’t have to do it again?
Well, I like to be toothy and lick a dick like it’s medicine I don’t want. Then I won’t be asked to do it again."
like it...however I'm sure it would be a case of darling, practice makes perfect  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You know how men are rubbish at hoovering and loading the dishwasher so they don’t have to do it again?
Well, I like to be toothy and lick a dick like it’s medicine I don’t want. Then I won’t be asked to do it again.
like it...however I'm sure it would be a case of darling, practice makes perfect "
Hm... need to rethink my plan |
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"Conducting a sex survey:
Interviewer: Describe the worst blowjob youve ever had.
Interviewee: Fucking awesome!
From my point of view, there arr two main things: intimacy and pleasure.
If the intimacy is thefe then the pleasure is multiplied and tbats saying something as the pleasure is usually sky high!
I have a real issue Nd its why im on fab, if im honest.
My wife wont do it. She did it for her previous boyfriends and she did it for me whrn we met (she was my first girlfriend and i was 26) and i was just blown away (sic) that anyone would love me so much. As time went on, however, she just came out one day and said she didnt want to do it. She didnt like doing it and that was the end of it. I dont want to force anyone into doing something they dont want to (and what would be the point anyway?) But the intimacy vanished overnight. I tried to say "how do you think i feel - being the only man you are not prepared to do this with and being your husband? You parted ways with your other two boyfriends one of whom yoh was still doing this for when you werent sleeping with him! Its not the act - its the intimacy.
Im here trying to find that again and im devastated"
When you love someone losing intimacy can be tough..for both of you x |
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"You know how men are rubbish at hoovering and loading the dishwasher so they don’t have to do it again?
Well, I like to be toothy and lick a dick like it’s medicine I don’t want. Then I won’t be asked to do it again.
like it...however I'm sure it would be a case of darling, practice makes perfect
Hm... need to rethink my plan "
Maybe worth a shot |
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I can't imagine performing a sexual act with my husband/partner that I found so distasteful...
Same here, I'm a pleaser and wouldn't like and wouldn't do anything like that coz I could not possibly enjoy it my self, simple. Sex act got to be respectful to be enjoyable, therefore for example never had anal sex with my ex partner... |
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I wouldn’t do anything I didn’t like doing, just as I wouldn’t expect someone to do something they didn’t enjoy.
It should be about mutual pleasure for both concerned and the giver to actually enjoy what they are doing, knowing that is a turn on in itself. If not, for me, it would feel cold & fake and that is not pleasurable to either person.
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I would never expect anybody to do anything sexual that they don't want to. Having been in an almost entirely sexless relationship for over 10 years, I think the big issue above the individual acts is general sexual compatibility. Not being in the same place sexually can be very damaging for a relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A couple of the women at work were talking and bj's came up.
One asked how do you do it? (shes's been in a relationship for 10yrs) and the other replied...quickly,.it's awful, just get it over with.
I found that really sad.
I can't imagine performing a sexual act with my husband/partner that I found so distasteful..
So would you expect your partner to do something they really didn't like but you loved? (I could only enjoy it if I felt they liked what they were doing)
Or do you, would you if you knew your partner loved an act and you hates it, perform it?"
its kind of life though isn't it things move on, its kinda why the divorce rate is so high lol long live the great British blow job   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would for her with no question... but on the flip side I would not ask, want or expect my partner to do something for me she did not enjoy..it's just how I am and am happy, for me if I can give pleasure to my partner then I am very happy  |
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"I think it would come down to trying to understand and appreciate what it was about the particular act that they enjoyed so much, or if it was something I liked but they didn't why they didn't like it - and from there see if a compromise could be found.
It very much depends though, if it was something I found a complete turn off then I'd find it hard to indulge them, but would at least try and explain why - similarly if it was something they didn't like I certainly wouldn't expect them to continue doing it, but again would be good to have an understanding of why.
As with most things, it's about open and honest communication."
|
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
No - we both wouldn't (him doing one for me and vice versa). Part of the pleasure we get from it is the enjoyment of the other in doing it, I'd hate someone to do something they strongly disliked to try and make me happy. That's why it's great we're on here. |
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"Conducting a sex survey:
Interviewer: Describe the worst blowjob youve ever had.
Interviewee: Fucking awesome!
From my point of view, there arr two main things: intimacy and pleasure.
If the intimacy is thefe then the pleasure is multiplied and tbats saying something as the pleasure is usually sky high!
I have a real issue Nd its why im on fab, if im honest.
My wife wont do it. She did it for her previous boyfriends and she did it for me whrn we met (she was my first girlfriend and i was 26) and i was just blown away (sic) that anyone would love me so much. As time went on, however, she just came out one day and said she didnt want to do it. She didnt like doing it and that was the end of it. I dont want to force anyone into doing something they dont want to (and what would be the point anyway?) But the intimacy vanished overnight. I tried to say "how do you think i feel - being the only man you are not prepared to do this with and being your husband? You parted ways with your other two boyfriends one of whom yoh was still doing this for when you werent sleeping with him! Its not the act - its the intimacy.
Im here trying to find that again and im devastated"
That is so sad and you're in a really difficult situation. I think you need a brutally honest conversation with your wife, find out what is really going on in her head, and find a way forward from there. Good luck. |
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Good questions! Every relationship is different. What is wonderful in one may not work in another so no, I wouldn't expect - or enjoy - something that distressed my partner. As for oral in particular, it is better to give than to receive... |
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