FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Feelings of doubt
Feelings of doubt
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Help me out here please.
Since joining Fab, apart from the usual cock shot messages, all the meaningful messages for meets seem to be for the Mr and not myself. I’m starting to doubt myself and my self worth is at a bit of a low. Do any of you lovely ladies ever experience this- or is it that I just have to face the reality that my look isn’t what’s wanted, I’m the weakest link and this is the way of things to come? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Are you looking for men or women to join you? Men you’ll have queuing up to meet you (the lady). If you’re looking for a female to join you they’re quite rare from what I can gather.
Other couples will be able to advise you better, this is unknown territory to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Help me out here please.
Since joining Fab, apart from the usual cock shot messages, all the meaningful messages for meets seem to be for the Mr and not myself. I’m starting to doubt myself and my self worth is at a bit of a low. Do any of you lovely ladies ever experience this- or is it that I just have to face the reality that my look isn’t what’s wanted, I’m the weakest link and this is the way of things to come? "
Yep, I currently experiencing this. I’m having a major confidence crisis and it’s a horrible feeling. Sending you lots of love OP x |
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By *dquestCouple
over a year ago
Peterborough |
Finding four people who all are happy to play and then working the logistics for four people to have time free to meet is super difficult. Don't give up! It's very worth the effort you put in! |
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"Finding four people who all are happy to play and then working the logistics for four people to have time free to meet is super difficult. Don't give up! It's very worth the effort you put in!  "
I can only agree.
You are also quite new to Fab.
When meeting as a couple, we find clubs are the best option.
I have to say, if you were closer we would definitely be interested, even if only for a social. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Help me out here please.
Since joining Fab, apart from the usual cock shot messages, all the meaningful messages for meets seem to be for the Mr and not myself. I’m starting to doubt myself and my self worth is at a bit of a low. Do any of you lovely ladies ever experience this- or is it that I just have to face the reality that my look isn’t what’s wanted, I’m the weakest link and this is the way of things to come?
Yep, I currently experiencing this. I’m having a major confidence crisis and it’s a horrible feeling. Sending you lots of love OP x"
Can't think why?....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you don’t go to clubs, maybe consider it every now and then, not only will you meet other couples, but talk about your experiences.
I talk to a few couples and they all have similar worries.
OP I think you are (from what I can see) a beautiful person, never compare yourself to anyone either.
xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hugs to you ladies self doubting. Don't... Beauty comes in all shapes and forms.
Although I am having one big confidence crisis, not just here but work and home, 2nd guessing and just very aware I am not goid enough. It is like a mental block I'm trying to figure out how to overcome 
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"I find this hard to believe. I thought women were always much more in demand than men. "
If you don't have any standards and love playing the part of a free prostitute then yes, this is the place to be |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Help me out here please.
Since joining Fab, apart from the usual cock shot messages, all the meaningful messages for meets seem to be for the Mr and not myself. I’m starting to doubt myself and my self worth is at a bit of a low. Do any of you lovely ladies ever experience this- or is it that I just have to face the reality that my look isn’t what’s wanted, I’m the weakest link and this is the way of things to come? "
yep. Major loss of confidence on here recently! Turned into a blubbering wreck on Saturday because I didn’t feel good enough  bizzare as I never feel like it in “real life”.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Help me out here please.
Since joining Fab, apart from the usual cock shot messages, all the meaningful messages for meets seem to be for the Mr and not myself. I’m starting to doubt myself and my self worth is at a bit of a low. Do any of you lovely ladies ever experience this- or is it that I just have to face the reality that my look isn’t what’s wanted, I’m the weakest link and this is the way of things to come? "
You're not alone OP I have huge self esteem issues in general and I really don't think fab helps all that much.
Perhaps try taking a break until you're feeling a little better? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find this hard to believe. I thought women were always much more in demand than men.
If you don't have any standards and love playing the part of a free prostitute then yes, this is the place to be "
But still I thought women were more in demand |
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"Help me out here please.
Since joining Fab, apart from the usual cock shot messages, all the meaningful messages for meets seem to be for the Mr and not myself. I’m starting to doubt myself and my self worth is at a bit of a low. Do any of you lovely ladies ever experience this- or is it that I just have to face the reality that my look isn’t what’s wanted, I’m the weakest link and this is the way of things to come? "
Can I ask some direct questions?
The people who you are choosing is hubby choosing them or you?
Are you going along with it for him more than for yourself?
From the pictures I can see you look great and sexy there will be absolutely no shortage of guys willing to meet YOU.
Problems occur if hubby is alpha, this can put alot of guys off as many of them also like to be an alpha/bull type.
Suggest perhaps meeting guys on your own but for social meet only in public places an afternoon coffee or glass of wine.
Then you can build up a rapport with guys.
You have absolutely no reason to have self doubt.
If fabs has taught us anything it's that there's always someone for everyone and as a female there's many someone's. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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First of all welcome to Fab and to the forum OP 
I (her) have read your profile a few times and looked at your public pics a few times. I cannot see anything that I would change, I like how your profile reads and your pics are tasteful and my type of pics.
You have nothing to feel disheartened over, you have a happy marriage and that is more important than anything. Fab is purely an extension of your sex life, it is for you and your husband to call upon whenever it suits you both.
You are seeking a friendly couple to try soft swing with, and you will find them. You just haven't found them yet but until then keep your head held high, maintain your confidence, enjoy your sex life with hubby and look forward to the playtime you will share together.
You could consider some of the advice already given such as attending a club, or going to a social event just to regain your confidence.
I hope you feel better about yourself soon. Big hugs
C
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"I find this hard to believe. I thought women were always much more in demand than men.
If you don't have any standards and love playing the part of a free prostitute then yes, this is the place to be
But still I thought women were more in demand "
Did you also think this was by respectful men? |
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Thank you for all the comments and words of support, it wasn’t a sympathy post and I’m really sorry for the ones also feeling the same as I am.
We are a happily married couple and we are both wanting to explore and add a bit of spice but feeling like the ugly duckling is not something that I’ve ever felt before. I am only too aware that the Mr is a smooth charmer, well kept and fit for his years (I put a lot of time and effort into that!
However, it has been hard to see him get the messages, requests and the majority of attention from the females and not a shortage of males either considering he’s straight and then get very little acknowledgement or attention myself.
We are going to socials etc and have made some really good budding friendships from the ones we’ve visited but I’m just really hoping that I’m not giving off the wrong signals and look unapproachable or heaven’s forbid, I’m too ugly to bare.
I know that the Mr will just say for me not to worry and try to reassure me that I’m his cup of tea but I can’t help but compare myself and worry that I’m doing something wrong... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find this hard to believe. I thought women were always much more in demand than men.
If you don't have any standards and love playing the part of a free prostitute then yes, this is the place to be
But still I thought women were more in demand
Did you also think this was by respectful men? "
Respectful or not I'm sure you ladies get a lot more attention than i have ever had online. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Help me out here please.
Since joining Fab, apart from the usual cock shot messages, all the meaningful messages for meets seem to be for the Mr and not myself. I’m starting to doubt myself and my self worth is at a bit of a low. Do any of you lovely ladies ever experience this- or is it that I just have to face the reality that my look isn’t what’s wanted, I’m the weakest link and this is the way of things to come? "
Well going on your pictures i(rabbit) think you look great and you have an amazing figure from what i can see.
It can take some time but dont doubt yourself.
I did for a while. Im not the thinnest of women and inked is amazing, always think im punching above my weight and that hes the one they all want. Its took some time but we have our first proper social meet in a cpl of wks. Hang in there x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To add to what my good lady said above, you say in the OP 'apart from all the usual cock shot messages' - you do realise that, however irritating these are, they are an indication of interest from men interest levels that I guarantee your hubby doesn't get.
A quick browse through your pics (and I have to say you're both attractive people) you'll notice that you regularly have hundreds of fabs on your photos to mostly single figures on his - we are exactly the same.
It sounds as though the issue isn't the amount of attention that he is getting compared to you but the quality of that attention. I may be wrong here but I suspect that when he gets attention you understand what other women see in your man and believe it because you fancy him yourself. Conversely, when you get attention, because you don't believe yourself to be anything special you dismiss it as horny men who'll fuck anything. Again, I may be wrong but I bet hubby doesn't see it like that, he fancies you, he knows what goes through other men's minds when they look at you/your pics and (if he's anything like me) he'll get a kick knowing other guys fancy his woman.
Please don't worry that you're not what other people want, trust me there are plenty of guys around who'd love a chance to play with you, they may not be what you two want but that doesn't change your attractiveness or your suitability for others.
Good luck on your journey and I hope you find what you are both after.
P |
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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago
Whitley Bay |
OP you are beautiful. Take a break and pay some attention to your self worth.
If you were feeling robust and self assured you would probabky be able to laugh at this situation. So maybe ease off and take care of yourself.
X |
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"To add to what my good lady said above, you say in the OP 'apart from all the usual cock shot messages' - you do realise that, however irritating these are, they are an indication of interest from men interest levels that I guarantee your hubby doesn't get.
A quick browse through your pics (and I have to say you're both attractive people) you'll notice that you regularly have hundreds of fabs on your photos to mostly single figures on his - we are exactly the same.
It sounds as though the issue isn't the amount of attention that he is getting compared to you but the quality of that attention. I may be wrong here but I suspect that when he gets attention you understand what other women see in your man and believe it because you fancy him yourself. Conversely, when you get attention, because you don't believe yourself to be anything special you dismiss it as horny men who'll fuck anything. Again, I may be wrong but I bet hubby doesn't see it like that, he fancies you, he knows what goes through other men's minds when they look at you/your pics and (if he's anything like me) he'll get a kick knowing other guys fancy his woman.
Please don't worry that you're not what other people want, trust me there are plenty of guys around who'd love a chance to play with you, they may not be what you two want but that doesn't change your attractiveness or your suitability for others.
Good luck on your journey and I hope you find what you are both after.
P"
Very nicely said.
Seconded |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To add to what my good lady said above, you say in the OP 'apart from all the usual cock shot messages' - you do realise that, however irritating these are, they are an indication of interest from men interest levels that I guarantee your hubby doesn't get.
A quick browse through your pics (and I have to say you're both attractive people) you'll notice that you regularly have hundreds of fabs on your photos to mostly single figures on his - we are exactly the same.
It sounds as though the issue isn't the amount of attention that he is getting compared to you but the quality of that attention. I may be wrong here but I suspect that when he gets attention you understand what other women see in your man and believe it because you fancy him yourself. Conversely, when you get attention, because you don't believe yourself to be anything special you dismiss it as horny men who'll fuck anything. Again, I may be wrong but I bet hubby doesn't see it like that, he fancies you, he knows what goes through other men's minds when they look at you/your pics and (if he's anything like me) he'll get a kick knowing other guys fancy his woman.
Please don't worry that you're not what other people want, trust me there are plenty of guys around who'd love a chance to play with you, they may not be what you two want but that doesn't change your attractiveness or your suitability for others.
Good luck on your journey and I hope you find what you are both after.
P"
so well put! |
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No idea why all the meaningful messages are addressed to the male of your profile, its normally the other way round.
I'd say if fab is the cause of you feeling bad about yourself you need to step back for a while to build your confidence back up. No need to leave, just hide your profile for a bit.
Also if your self esteem depends on Internet strangers wanting you it might be a good idea to assess why and find other ways of building yourself up. It's all smoke and mirrors on the net.
For what it's worth from one straight woman to another you look great |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No idea why all the meaningful messages are addressed to the male of your profile, its normally the other way round.
I'd say if fab is the cause of you feeling bad about yourself you need to step back for a while to build your confidence back up. No need to leave, just hide your profile for a bit.
Also if your self esteem depends on Internet strangers wanting you it might be a good idea to assess why and find other ways of building yourself up. It's all smoke and mirrors on the net.
For what it's worth from one straight woman to another you look great "
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Thank you all for the reassuring comments and helpful advice. You are correct, I am meaning the meaningful requests are more for the Mr and the endless shots are aimed at me, it isn’t internet approval I’m seeking, it was more so me asking if others had experienced the same as we are new to this journey and are unsure of what to expect or what the norm is having been married over 20 years it’s not bothered me what others thought or how I looked. I am very lucky to have a great husband, he is fantastic in all areas of life and really dislikes me feeling negative about myself as it’s not something I am used to. We decided together to experiment and embrace this lifestyle. Nonetheless, all the advice has given me food for thought and made me realise that there so many great people out there that we can make connections with, socialise with, have fun and share stories with, if nothing else for the meantime...
Ps - I am feeling so much better today realising this is something that happens and not to be concerned.
The Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Help me out here please.
Since joining Fab, apart from the usual cock shot messages, all the meaningful messages for meets seem to be for the Mr and not myself. I’m starting to doubt myself and my self worth is at a bit of a low. Do any of you lovely ladies ever experience this- or is it that I just have to face the reality that my look isn’t what’s wanted, I’m the weakest link and this is the way of things to come? "
Often in the past, especially as he’s very much in demand, but I try not to let it get to me anymore. I am who I am and if they can’t see my worth then I wouldn’t want to meet them anyway xx |
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