We have been swinging for around 20 years. My wife is terminally ill and is struggling with sex and has told me to carry on going on meets and to clubs. We have always played together (same house or clubs occasionaly seperate rooms) I feel like this would be cheating even though she says she doesn't mind what should I do? |
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"We have been swinging for around 20 years. My wife is terminally ill and is struggling with sex and has told me to carry on going on meets and to clubs. We have always played together (same house or clubs occasionaly seperate rooms) I feel like this would be cheating even though she says she doesn't mind what should I do? "
Im sorry that your wife is so ill OP. You need to go with your feelings as regards this. Noone else can make the decision for you. I wish you and your wife the very best in these times |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm sorry to hear about your wife.
With regards to your question only you can answer, you have to go with what feels right for you, just because she's given you permission doesn't mean you have to do it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In this situation, like many situations, allow your heart to make a decision. Your ego and libido will seek out the pleasure, I'm not saying that's wrong at all, but take time out together and listen to your heart, it rarely lies. Wishing you happiness and peace.xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry to hear about your better half!!
That choice can only be made by you I’m afraid and it’s going to be a hard one to make.
Personally I wouldn’t play without my wife and if I were you I’d maybe think about leaving it until your life has settled down again so you can give your wife 110% of your love and time.
The very best of luck.
T |
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Sorry to hear about your wife. No one can tell you what to do - in this situation I would (this is just me and you don't need to take the advice), just take a break from swinging for a while. We do have physical needs - but as we get older we realise that our mental well-being is just as important - in that guilt is a feeling that can really effect you. |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
So sorry to hear about your wife. Only you know if she is really comfortable with this, but don't do something you may regret, at this time. Positive thoughts coming your way, for your wife  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have been swinging for around 20 years. My wife is terminally ill and is struggling with sex and has told me to carry on going on meets and to clubs. We have always played together (same house or clubs occasionaly seperate rooms) I feel like this would be cheating even though she says she doesn't mind what should I do? "
do you need it that bad, take her out do things with her or just be with her, thats what I'd do
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Sorry to hear about your wife  obviously she cares for you greatly to say you can continue without her. Only you can decide but if it was me, I wouldn’t even contemplate it, I would be absorbing my time with the woman I love 
D. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sex is just sex. The companionship and trust you have with your wife is worth so much more, no matter how long it lasts. If the thought makes you feel bad now, it will be magnified hugely when the unthinkable happens. |
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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
"We have been swinging for around 20 years. My wife is terminally ill and is struggling with sex and has told me to carry on going on meets and to clubs. We have always played together (same house or clubs occasionaly seperate rooms) I feel like this would be cheating even though she says she doesn't mind what should I do? "
Talk to her and explain how you feel.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry to hear about your wife obviously she cares for you greatly to say you can continue without her. Only you can decide but if it was me, I wouldn’t even contemplate it, I would be absorbing my time with the woman I love
D."
I am in agreement with this. I'm sorry OP. |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
"Sorry to hear about your wife obviously she cares for you greatly to say you can continue without her. Only you can decide but if it was me, I wouldn’t even contemplate it, I would be absorbing my time with the woman I love
D."
Totally agree with this |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
That’s very sad.
If it was me I’d want to ask her why is she saying that and tell her it’s really no big for me to stop, and if she said she still really wanted me to carry on and I believed her , and it felt ok and not like cheating, then I might do the odd one |
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"We have been swinging for around 20 years. My wife is terminally ill and is struggling with sex and has told me to carry on going on meets and to clubs. We have always played together (same house or clubs occasionaly seperate rooms) I feel like this would be cheating even though she says she doesn't mind what should I do? "
A question no one can answer but you.
That said, personally, I'd want to spend as much time with my spouse as I could. The thought of losing them would kill my libido and make me sick, sad to the pit of my stomach.
We all deal with life's challenges differently: do what works for you. |
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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago
Nottinghamshire |
So sorry to hear about your wife .
Maybe your wife saying that so u keep enjoying your life.
Me personally I put swinging to one side and enjoy the time with her but only u can make that decision x |
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So sorry to hear about your wife.
I know she has given you her blessing but in my opinion (for what it's worth) would be to focus your attention on her and enjoy each moment that is afforded to you both xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would have thought that if your wife was terminally ill that you would want to spend every last minute with her and nobody else."
What I was gonna say. If my Mr was terminally ill then absolutely playing would probably Be at the very back of my mind x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally I dont think I could do it, even with permission. I think it's something you too need to decide more than us.
But like others have said, if it doesnt right, dont do it.
Hopefully in time you can both get back into it and experience what you've missed together |
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