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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Do you think its possible to love more than one person at the same time. As in be in love with both and want a life with both. My friend recently told me that she has been seeing two guys and is in love with them both. One she has been seeing for 6 months and the other 4 months. It got me thinking as whether or not it's possible to actually be in love with two people at one. |
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Absolutely.... My username is from the Poly scene. I would 'love' to be part of a Poly relationship. I actually think Poly is an 'orientation', it's just the way some people are. I would have no problem with any partner I had having other emotional and physical relationships. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me, no.
I'm not sure I can compartmentalise like that.
If love is that overwhelming need desire wish to be with another, then I would probably always feel confused conflicted and as though one or other was not getting all or the best of me.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can't get my head around how people can have the time and energy, both physical and emotional, to successfully negotiate more than 1 full loving relationship as well as the other demands that real life entails |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I can't get my head around how people can have the time and energy, both physical and emotional, to successfully negotiate more than 1 full loving relationship as well as the other demands that real life entails "
I couldn't either. One is hard enough. |
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By *otrockWoman
over a year ago
Essex |
I think it's possible, well so I've been told recently but for me I would always be the jealous one thinking they loved the other more than me...if you love me you love me with all your heart not half of it. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It depends on your perception of true love. 6 months and 4 months is still the honeymoon period. Give it 6 months and ask her then.
But I cant see why you cant emotionally love more than one person at a time. I cant see why it couldn't work between 3 people either. Many cultures have different wives and it cant be anymore difficult than a serious relationship between two people. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think it's possible, well so I've been told recently but for me I would always be the jealous one thinking they loved the other more than me...if you love me you love me with all your heart not half of it. X"
Why can't you love both of them with all your heart? Just curious. |
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By *otrockWoman
over a year ago
Essex |
"I think it's possible, well so I've been told recently but for me I would always be the jealous one thinking they loved the other more than me...if you love me you love me with all your heart not half of it. X
Why can't you love both of them with all your heart? Just curious."
Im not to sure you can, can you?
I think it's possible to love 2 people but can you really love them both equally the same. that I'm not sure about. X |
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Redhill |
I think my husband felt like that towards me and his mistress for a good part of two years. He adored both of us and could not imagine life without either of us...
Which we both deemed unacceptable.
I just thought he’d got over the grief period when today, while innocently printing off forms for my daughter’s school, he was looking her up on LinkedIn. Bless his little cotton socks...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's possible, well so I've been told recently but for me I would always be the jealous one thinking they loved the other more than me...if you love me you love me with all your heart not half of it. X
Why can't you love both of them with all your heart? Just curious.
Im not to sure you can, can you?
I think it's possible to love 2 people but can you really love them both equally the same. that I'm not sure about. X"
People can love their children equally, then why cant romantic true love be the same? |
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By *otrockWoman
over a year ago
Essex |
"I think it's possible, well so I've been told recently but for me I would always be the jealous one thinking they loved the other more than me...if you love me you love me with all your heart not half of it. X
Why can't you love both of them with all your heart? Just curious.
Im not to sure you can, can you?
I think it's possible to love 2 people but can you really love them both equally the same. that I'm not sure about. X
People can love their children equally, then why cant romantic true love be the same?"
Yes your right you do love your children equally the same so I guess it must be possible to do it romantically I've never thought of it that way before.
I guess I'm just to selfish to want to share the person I'm truly in love with with someone else, I'd want the heart all to myself. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's possible, well so I've been told recently but for me I would always be the jealous one thinking they loved the other more than me...if you love me you love me with all your heart not half of it. X
Why can't you love both of them with all your heart? Just curious.
Im not to sure you can, can you?
I think it's possible to love 2 people but can you really love them both equally the same. that I'm not sure about. X
People can love their children equally, then why cant romantic true love be the same?
Yes your right you do love your children equally the same so I guess it must be possible to do it romantically I've never thought of it that way before.
I guess I'm just to selfish to want to share the person I'm truly in love with with someone else, I'd want the heart all to myself. X"
And there is nothing wrong with that either. I'm the same, I dont think I could have a polyamory relationship myself. It's not selfish though x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think it's possible, well so I've been told recently but for me I would always be the jealous one thinking they loved the other more than me...if you love me you love me with all your heart not half of it. X
Why can't you love both of them with all your heart? Just curious.
Im not to sure you can, can you?
I think it's possible to love 2 people but can you really love them both equally the same. that I'm not sure about. X"
I have 3 kids and I love them all the same. I know it's not the same thing but still. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes of course you can. I love my children differently but neither one more than the other. I like Cheddar and Cheshire depending on what i fancy at the time. Being in love can work the same if you're made that way. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes of course you can. I love my children differently but neither one more than the other. I like Cheddar and Cheshire depending on what i fancy at the time. Being in love can work the same if you're made that way."
Yah you could be right. |
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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago
Wakefield |
"Do you think its possible to love more than one person at the same time. As in be in love with both and want a life with both. My friend recently told me that she has been seeing two guys and is in love with them both. One she has been seeing for 6 months and the other 4 months. It got me thinking as whether or not it's possible to actually be in love with two people at one."
Define love!
Do you have children if so do you not love all of them?
Do you have a husband or partner is your love for them the same as your love for your children?
Do you love your Parents?
Just three types of love and very often the exist at the same time. |
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Absolutely. I’ve been in poly relationships in the past and I can’t see myself ever being monogamous again. I love having a mix of people I’m close to and don’t do well in a monogamous relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it’s possible. It’s just undesirable. Let’s say you have two children. You would never say: “I can only love one child. I can only feel parental love for one person”. I think it’s like that with romantic love. You can love many people. The reason it’s problematic is pretty obvious and has already been pointed out. In many cases it’ll end with conflicted loyalties. Someone is getting hurt eventually. The heart wants what the heart wants. But we don’t have to act on our feelings. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think it’s possible. It’s just undesirable. Let’s say you have two children. You would never say: “I can only love one child. I can only feel parental love for one person”. I think it’s like that with romantic love. You can love many people. The reason it’s problematic is pretty obvious and has already been pointed out. In many cases it’ll end with conflicted loyalties. Someone is getting hurt eventually. The heart wants what the heart wants. But we don’t have to act on our feelings. "
This is very true. |
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"I think it’s possible. It’s just undesirable. Let’s say you have two children. You would never say: “I can only love one child. I can only feel parental love for one person”. I think it’s like that with romantic love. You can love many people. The reason it’s problematic is pretty obvious and has already been pointed out. In many cases it’ll end with conflicted loyalties. Someone is getting hurt eventually. The heart wants what the heart wants. But we don’t have to act on our feelings. "
You're right we don't have to act on our feelings. However, denying ourselves what we yearn for leads to a life of self punishment and unanswered questions. Like I said earlier, I honestly believe it's an orientation. For me it's not about having half a dozen women in bed at once, it really is the emotional bond of more than one person. |
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Love flows both ways, so for it to be love, you need to love them and they need to love you.
So for her to love 2 guys they need to love her too, so they need to know about each other, blah blah blah.
But we are not hard wired to love more than one person at the same time, it fucks up genetic pools when men father babies with multiple women and we are hard wired to avoid it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Love flows both ways, so for it to be love, you need to love them and they need to love you.
So for her to love 2 guys they need to love her too, so they need to know about each other, blah blah blah.
But we are not hard wired to love more than one person at the same time, it fucks up genetic pools when men father babies with multiple women and we are hard wired to avoid it."
Some good points  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I struggle with this because unless both parties are aware, very happy with the situation etc
My ex husband told me he wanted a life like that ... all he wanted was his cake and eat it too but under the guise of a poly relationship. One person always seems to suffer and you’ll find that it’s ok for them to love two people - but if positions were reversed ?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you think its possible to love more than one person at the same time. As in be in love with both and want a life with both. My friend recently told me that she has been seeing two guys and is in love with them both. One she has been seeing for 6 months and the other 4 months. It got me thinking as whether or not it's possible to actually be in love with two people at one."
of course it is but when it gets up to 5 ask me again   |
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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago
Whitley Bay |
"Do you think its possible to love more than one person at the same time. As in be in love with both and want a life with both. My friend recently told me that she has been seeing two guys and is in love with them both. One she has been seeing for 6 months and the other 4 months. It got me thinking as whether or not it's possible to actually be in love with two people at one."
Yes I do think it's possible. We have huge capacity for love and it doesn't always fit into a model which is deemed ' normal' to society (or Disney).
Wether it's a healthy situation is another matter.
I choose to not limit my love to one person. Each one of my relationships is different to the next but that doesn't affect my ability to give and receive love. It's all 'ethical' in my case when it comes to lovers, as in were all clear that we are not monogomous.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you think its possible to love more than one person at the same time. As in be in love with both and want a life with both. My friend recently told me that she has been seeing two guys and is in love with them both. One she has been seeing for 6 months and the other 4 months. It got me thinking as whether or not it's possible to actually be in love with two people at one.
Yes I do think it's possible. We have huge capacity for love and it doesn't always fit into a model which is deemed ' normal' to society (or Disney).
Wether it's a healthy situation is another matter.
I choose to not limit my love to one person. Each one of my relationships is different to the next but that doesn't affect my ability to give and receive love. It's all 'ethical' in my case when it comes to lovers, as in were all clear that we are not monogomous.
"
can i be included in your love for a fellow alien |
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"I think emotionally you can love more than one yes. Putting that into physical would be more difficult. "
I would have thought emotionally is the difficult part whereas physically could be what swingers are doing on here  |
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I don't see why it's not possible. It's not going to be practical in many cases. I certainly wouldn't act on love with more than one person because I wouldn't feel I could devote myself to more than one person in the way I think they would deserve. I would also be worried about comparing the two and loving one more than another or or at least in different ways. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't see why it's not possible. It's not going to be practical in many cases. I certainly wouldn't act on love with more than one person because I wouldn't feel I could devote myself to more than one person in the way I think they would deserve. I would also be worried about comparing the two and loving one more than another or or at least in different ways. "
Very good point. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's very possible but is it doable and workable are u going to love one more than the other ?is their a scale of love then lol "
i think there definitely is |
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