FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Perfectionism
Perfectionism
Jump to: Newest in thread
| |||
"Are you prone to perfectionism? I've noticed the more I get into weight lifting the less satisfied I am with what I've got. (Not woe is me, look at me. Prompt for discussion) I'm in the best shape of my life, I feel great physically... And I'm nitpicking my appearance more and more. It does my bloody head in." First. BOOM | |||
| |||
| |||
"Just do the best you can x" I do! But I should be happy with what I have  | |||
"Just do the best you can x I do! But I should be happy with what I have "Yes no ones perfect don't push your self too hard x | |||
"Are you prone to perfectionism? I've noticed the more I get into weight lifting the less satisfied I am with what I've got. (Not woe is me, look at me. Prompt for discussion) I'm in the best shape of my life, I feel great physically... And I'm nitpicking my appearance more and more. It does my bloody head in." If it's any consolation, you know I think you're wonderful  | |||
| |||
| |||
"I'm not a perfectionist which can be annoying for those who are. I'm probably ready to accept less than perfect as long as it's perfect for me. " I need to remember that perfect is the enemy of good. It can be an anxiety thing. | |||
"I'm not a perfectionist which can be annoying for those who are. I'm probably ready to accept less than perfect as long as it's perfect for me. I need to remember that perfect is the enemy of good. It can be an anxiety thing." Yes I think it can. I come from a family where anxiety is a theme and it's noticeable that the ones who suffer from anxiety are also the perfectionists. Those of us who aren't don't half get on their nerves. I think that trying not to be a perfectionist will make you anxious. | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"You know what I think? Years and years of having it drummed into you that you're not enough, good enough, smart enough, driven enough, pretty enough, talented enough, slim enough, curvy enough, lovable enough, outspoken enough, quiet enough, pale enough, dark enough and every other motherfucking enoughness any cunt can think of leads to this point. Chasing. Chasing being enough. Chasing being enough without even realising that's what's happening. Once the bigger things about you that you want to change are being tackled then we focus on the smaller things. If it's stuff like "my nails are gross they need doing" then NO! If it's "hmmm, my nails would look great with a manicure, I'll treat myself when I can" then yes, that's sound P" You're so wise. This is exactly it. I'm part way there. I'm past "all those gym goers will laugh at me/ the weights room isn't for women." I stopped giving a shit, started doing these things for my own satisfaction, and it got easier. I just wish the daft nit picking about stupid shit that doesn't matter would go away. | |||
| |||
"Do you celebrate your small triumphs/achievements? It’s important to recognise when you’ve achieved something and to congratulate yourself for it?" It's all a continuum, haha. I need to go back to taking progress shots. | |||
| |||
"The older you get the more you'll realise people will like you and love you for the things you see as flaws. That shit lasts, looking at a so called perfect body doesn't. It doesn't last, whether it's natural or you've paid for it but those little things that make you you... They last forever. " I'm getting there! I'm not worried about a perfect body. Just trying to do well at my hobby. | |||
"The older you get the more you'll realise people will like you and love you for the things you see as flaws. That shit lasts, looking at a so called perfect body doesn't. It doesn't last, whether it's natural or you've paid for it but those little things that make you you... They last forever. I'm getting there! I'm not worried about a perfect body. Just trying to do well at my hobby." It sounds like you are already x | |||
"The older you get the more you'll realise people will like you and love you for the things you see as flaws. That shit lasts, looking at a so called perfect body doesn't. It doesn't last, whether it's natural or you've paid for it but those little things that make you you... They last forever. " I love this!! 
Jo.Xx | |||
| |||
"You know what I think? Years and years of having it drummed into you that you're not enough, good enough, smart enough, driven enough, pretty enough, talented enough, slim enough, curvy enough, lovable enough, outspoken enough, quiet enough, pale enough, dark enough and every other motherfucking enoughness any cunt can think of leads to this point. Chasing. Chasing being enough. Chasing being enough without even realising that's what's happening. Once the bigger things about you that you want to change are being tackled then we focus on the smaller things. If it's stuff like "my nails are gross they need doing" then NO! If it's "hmmm, my nails would look great with a manicure, I'll treat myself when I can" then yes, that's sound P You're so wise. This is exactly it. I'm part way there. I'm past "all those gym goers will laugh at me/ the weights room isn't for women." I stopped giving a shit, started doing these things for my own satisfaction, and it got easier. I just wish the daft nit picking about stupid shit that doesn't matter would go away." Lived it ain't I, and still revisit more often than I care to admit. Here's something that I kick myself in the arse with when I go back there. Game changer I tell ya. When we get into that way of thinking, we aren't doing only ourselves a disjustice but other people too. We're being judgemental arseholes. Those people that 'inspired' mindset in us were pricks, plain and simple. Putter downers, people so disgusted with themselves that they projected onto us. Now, do you look at someone with a wonky nose who's clearly had it broken and think "ewwwwww" or do you think "Quirky, I wonder what the story is behind it?" Do you even notice it? Exactly. We need to give other people the credit that they'll think "quirky, different, individual, distinguished" when they see things about us, not jump to the conclusion that they'll think we're spawn of Quasimodo who could REALLY use some work. Don't get me wrong, enhancing what you already have I think is fine. Boosts confidence and gives you a buzz, but don't be afraid to walk down the street or be seen in public with no make up and bed head, wearing trackies covered in paint! I'm sure there are people that look at my mole on my face and think "grim, guacamole moley moley... many many more wont even notice it, and some will look and think "beauty spot... cute" Be a good human. That's where true beauty shines through. P | |||
| |||
"Are you prone to perfectionism? I've noticed the more I get into weight lifting the less satisfied I am with what I've got. (Not woe is me, look at me. Prompt for discussion) I'm in the best shape of my life, I feel great physically... And I'm nitpicking my appearance more and more. It does my bloody head in." I tend to follow the taoist philosophy Short version It's only when one just does without thoughts of perfection that ones true potential can be realised xxxx | |||
| |||
| |||
"And let's be objective So called perfection is almost certainly a, a moving target and b, highly subjective " Definitely! | |||
"I used to be to a rediculous extent. It definitely contributed to my breakdown in my early 20s. I have it more under wraps now but I have to fight it from creeping back in." I tamed my flat out anxiety/panic, have got most of my crippling obsessive perfectionism. I think it's just... Over the line of optimal optimising. Stupid brain | |||
 | |||
"Yes I always aim for perfection of whatever I do and the same goes for weight lifting to train for the perfect body plus with the feel good factor you get out of it is a bonus "Surely shag fab has taught you the perfect body is only subjective | |||
"Yes I always aim for perfection of whatever I do and the same goes for weight lifting to train for the perfect body plus with the feel good factor you get out of it is a bonus
Surely shag fab has taught you the perfect body is only subjective "Exactly, what's perfect for one isn't perfect for the next. To be happy in ourselves is far more beautiful than obsessing over things about us that we don't like. Making an effort is dandy, it's helps ya feel good about yourself, but more often than not when you're happy on the inside .... it really translates to the external. I find the more I do my make up and hair to the degree I think I look great, the less special it becomes and that's when I find myself dissatisfied with my appearance P | |||
"Are you prone to perfectionism? I've noticed the more I get into weight lifting the less satisfied I am with what I've got. (Not woe is me, look at me. Prompt for discussion) I'm in the best shape of my life, I feel great physically... And I'm nitpicking my appearance more and more. It does my bloody head in." Definitely, it shows in my dissatisfaction with my weight and my academic performance. It's one of the things that made my ED recovery so difficult, I really struggled (and still struggle) to come to terms with living in a body that I see as less than perfect. Though no matter how much weight I lost it was never enough, and it came to a point when I realized I was killing myself in the pursuit of perfection I could never achieve. | |||
| |||
"Yes I always aim for perfection of whatever I do and the same goes for weight lifting to train for the perfect body plus with the feel good factor you get out of it is a bonus
Surely shag fab has taught you the perfect body is only subjective "Yes it have but everyone have their own version of what it is and I am training towards my vision of it. | |||
| |||
| |||
"Yes I always aim for perfection of whatever I do and the same goes for weight lifting to train for the perfect body plus with the feel good factor you get out of it is a bonus
Surely shag fab has taught you the perfect body is only subjective "True that. In the height of my dancing days I was a toned size 8 with big boobs and had many call me a bitch for managing to be both slim and curvy but I was still hopelessly self conscious and envied my smaller breasted friends for their ability to go braless. You always want what you don't have. It also turns out I'm much happier now as a size 12 though being out of the dancing world with the pressure that brings may well be a contributing factor. | |||
"90% of the time I'm like, my body is amazing, look what it can do! 10% of the time... Ooh I have a belly, I fucked up that workout, blah blah loser. The 10% needs to fuck off "But is it not the 10% that drives you on? | |||
"90% of the time I'm like, my body is amazing, look what it can do! 10% of the time... Ooh I have a belly, I fucked up that workout, blah blah loser. The 10% needs to fuck off
But is it not the 10% that drives you on?"No. It's demotivating. | |||
| |||
 | |||
| |||
| |||
"I realised long ago that nothing/ nobody is perfect. Why strive for something you're never going to achieve and then beat yourself up over it? Life's too short for that shit. " Apart from my perfect husband of course!  | |||
| |||
"I realised long ago that nothing/ nobody is perfect. Why strive for something you're never going to achieve and then beat yourself up over it? Life's too short for that shit. Apart from my perfect husband of course! "Clem!!!! *shakes angry fist* Get off my profile!!  | |||
| |||
| |||
"Im a perfectionist when i organize events apart from that no. Im far from perfect and i have no plans to change it" I hope you don't mind me asking but is your name a reference to a song by the boomtown rats? | |||
"Im a perfectionist when i organize events apart from that no. Im far from perfect and i have no plans to change it I hope you don't mind me asking but is your name a reference to a song by the boomtown rats? " yes it is. Congratulations only a few people get it | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"Im a perfectionist when i organize events apart from that no. Im far from perfect and i have no plans to change it I hope you don't mind me asking but is your name a reference to a song by the boomtown rats? yes it is. Congratulations only a few people get it "I LOVE that song, awesome choice | |||
"Im a perfectionist when i organize events apart from that no. Im far from perfect and i have no plans to change it I hope you don't mind me asking but is your name a reference to a song by the boomtown rats? yes it is. Congratulations only a few people get it
I LOVE that song, awesome choice "Thankyou xx | |||
