FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Childfree by choice

Childfree by choice

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I haven't seen too many people on fab without kids, so I thought I'd make a thread to help me find others.

Who else doesn't have/ isn't going to have children? Not because you can't, or because they're grown up, just because you don't want to.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Hi

Well hello! It's nice to see I'm not alone =)

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

*waves* hello

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ackDorianMan over a year ago

ashford

If I do, I’ll adopt. Too many people in this world; might as-well provide a family to someone who doesn’t have one

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"*waves* hello"

Hi! =)

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *wisted999Man over a year ago

North Bucks

How do.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Me OP. I reckon I'd be a great dad but at this stage in my life I'm not looking at relationships anymore or kids either.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"How do. "

Good morning! There are already more of us than I thought there might be :')

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Morning

I don't have any children through choice.

And I'm now at an age where I probably can't.

So thankfully people have now stopped asking me when I'm going to have them

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Morning

I don't have any children through choice.

And I'm now at an age where I probably can't.

So thankfully people have now stopped asking me when I'm going to have them

That must be a great feeling!

I can't wait for the day that I can stop having to justify this choice. I've been asking my doctor about sterilisation for a while, but they won't entertain the idea while I'm under 35. I always ask though, just so it's on record.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Child free here!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *wisted999Man over a year ago

North Bucks

I get the whole you are lucky you don’t have any kids talk all the time at work.

I don’t think a lot of thought goes in to this comment.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *adyHWoman over a year ago

South Glos

Child free too and no plan to change that

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Morning

I don't have any children through choice.

And I'm now at an age where I probably can't.

So thankfully people have now stopped asking me when I'm going to have them

That must be a great feeling!

Most people usually other women with kids won't respect your choices.

It's a form of judgement and criticism that seems acceptable to them!

But god forbid you criticize or judge their little Angel's or yawn in their face when they're going on and on about them

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *igman_UKMan over a year ago

Birmingham/Paisley

I've never really wanted them, and so being responsible adults! Fortunately my brother has had two so my parents are happy about the grandchildren aspect, thereby reducing the pressure.

But the pressure from people and the expectation is quite amazing. I basically want the fun without the pain! Lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Morning

I don't have any children through choice.

And I'm now at an age where I probably can't.

So thankfully people have now stopped asking me when I'm going to have them

That must be a great feeling!

Most people usually other women with kids won't respect your choices.

It's a form of judgement and criticism that seems acceptable to them!

But god forbid you criticize or judge their little Angel's or yawn in their face when they're going on and on about them

That's so true! Like I just want to live a good life with my husband and my cat, and kids just simply aren't part of that picture for us and never have been.

It's amazing how much it bothers some people

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *igman_UKMan over a year ago

Birmingham/Paisley

And don't get me started about the boring conversations about what little darling has done or when he last sneezed and how clever they are by doing so.

I even had someone show a pic of their baby's first poo

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"And don't get me started about the boring conversations about what little darling has done or when he last sneezed and how clever they are by doing so.

I even had someone show a pic of their baby's first poo

Ewww, that's gross. You should do the same next time you take a dump!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ustBoWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Yep child free here as well. Never really wanted them and was never in a relationship that was good enough for me to consider getting pregnant even tho an ex wanted me to. I'm 47 now I'm definitely don't want any at this age.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And don't get me started about the boring conversations about what little darling has done or when he last sneezed and how clever they are by doing so.

I even had someone show a pic of their baby's first poo

I hope your response to them was, that's pretty sh*t

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You are not alone many make the same choice x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hellooooòo. ..was to be busy in extreme sports to want kids

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I am too. Get fed up of my parents commenting when will I meet someone and have kids. Think the world is turning into a pretty shit place why would I want to add another child to it?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And don't get me started about the boring conversations about what little darling has done or when he last sneezed and how clever they are by doing so.

I even had someone show a pic of their baby's first poo

I have one and I even zone out when people talk about their kids.

Facebook Moms are the worst where every single thing their kid does goes on there.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Everyone should be able to choose. I hate that it's assumed that everyone MUST have kids. Why???

Societal norms, load of bollocks. As for refusing sterilisation under 35, it's a money saving scheme.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Morning

I don't have any children through choice.

And I'm now at an age where I probably can't.

So thankfully people have now stopped asking me when I'm going to have them

Sounds true

That must be a great feeling!

Most people usually other women with kids won't respect your choices.

It's a form of judgement and criticism that seems acceptable to them!

But god forbid you criticize or judge their little Angel's or yawn in their face when they're going on and on about them

That's so true! Like I just want to live a good life with my husband and my cat, and kids just simply aren't part of that picture for us and never have been.

It's amazing how much it bothers some people

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *olden RatioWoman over a year ago

Buckinghamshire

Hi! I’ve been asking about sterilisation for years but got nowhere with the NHS so am considering going private.

Fortunately nobody I know has ever put pressure on me to have children, but it sounds like I’m in a minority there.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

The worst I get is from doctors. I've had my medical care get worse when I get the now dreaded births/pregnancies/miscarriages question. Like I'm somehow less worthy of treatment because I know how to use birth control to get the family I want

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I never wanted children as i was far too selfish in my younger years to even contemplate having to spend my time nurturing another human being...

However, that all changed when i met my ex and my priorities changed.. but i did wait until i was 39 to have one

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Hi! I’ve been asking about sterilisation for years but got nowhere with the NHS so am considering going private.

Fortunately nobody I know has ever put pressure on me to have children, but it sounds like I’m in a minority there."

I've been having the same issue, so my husband is getting a vasectomy done privately as it's cheaper and less invasive =)

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

I have a son but i wouldnt have one in this day and age. Obviously i wouldnt be without my son. My sister doesnt have children

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I never wanted children as i was far too selfish in my younger years to even contemplate having to spend my time nurturing another human being...

However, that all changed when i met my ex and my priorities changed.. but i did wait until i was 39 to have one "

Not wanting children isn't selfish.

I don't want to pass my health problems onto a child. I can and do give in other ways.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Hi! I’ve been asking about sterilisation for years but got nowhere with the NHS so am considering going private.

Fortunately nobody I know has ever put pressure on me to have children, but it sounds like I’m in a minority there.

I've been having the same issue, so my husband is getting a vasectomy done privately as it's cheaper and less invasive =)"

As permanent as I'm allowed to go is the Mirena. I have significant gynaecological health issues and pregnancy would probably be difficult for me. I've been clear, adamant, and consistent since my teens that I don't want children. I'm thirty fucking four.

"But you might change your miiiiind"

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Morning

I don't have any children through choice.

And I'm now at an age where I probably can't.

So thankfully people have now stopped asking me when I'm going to have them

That must be a great feeling!

It is funny when people ask ‘why don’t you have kids?’ isn’t it? Like being single or having a certain career or lifestyle, some people clearly cannot just be ‘happy’ without some things. Obviously no idea what it’s like from a female perspective though, so can’t comment on that really. I am kid free, and it’s certainly not anything that would make me feel bad or negative.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I was flat out told I'd never be sterilised

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Hell, I even had one doctor try to persuade me to have kids by telling me I needed to pass on my pretty eyes and show me a picture of baby feet (years ago).

Oooh baby feet so cute bye bye brain I'm a feeble minded woman... Oh wait, no. Blue eyes are a recessive trait, moron.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Hi! I’ve been asking about sterilisation for years but got nowhere with the NHS so am considering going private.

Fortunately nobody I know has ever put pressure on me to have children, but it sounds like I’m in a minority there.

I've been having the same issue, so my husband is getting a vasectomy done privately as it's cheaper and less invasive =)

"But you might change your miiiiind"

They won't sterilise me yet because I'm too young, and also due to mental health issues. But I've tried various (read, almost every) contraception options available. I can't have anything hormonal as it interferes with my existing conditions, and the copper coil which I've tried twice just doesn't work for me, I had to have an operation to remove it the last time.

So we're currently alternating between regular and internal condoms until we can get him in for a vasectomy.

It's so silly, no one ever double checks if a pregnant woman wants an abortion because she might change her mind in a few years

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Hell, I even had one doctor try to persuade me to have kids by telling me I needed to pass on my pretty eyes and show me a picture of baby feet (years ago).

Oooh baby feet so cute bye bye brain I'm a feeble minded woman... Oh wait, no. Blue eyes are a recessive trait, moron."

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Hi! I’ve been asking about sterilisation for years but got nowhere with the NHS so am considering going private.

Fortunately nobody I know has ever put pressure on me to have children, but it sounds like I’m in a minority there.

I've been having the same issue, so my husband is getting a vasectomy done privately as it's cheaper and less invasive =)

"But you might change your miiiiind"

So we're currently alternating between regular and internal condoms until we can get him in for a vasectomy.

It's so silly, no one ever double checks if a pregnant woman wants an abortion because she might change her mind in a few years

The suffering unwanted children likely go through and yet it's those who try to prevent that happening that get pushback.

Won't somebody think of the children etc. I am. I'm keeping mine hypothetical because it's in their best fucking interests.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Oh and mental health reasons. I don't want kids in part because of my mental health. Happy mum, happy baby. I have issues! Don't want to inflict that on my kids!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *adyHWoman over a year ago

South Glos

I had one guy (an very much older guy) tell me it was my right as a woman to have children and that I was wrong for not having any!

You can probably image my response

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ocbigMan over a year ago

Birmingham

Have none, never felt the need. Have relationships end because of it as I have always been clear on this to girlfriends. No reason although as has been said people want & expect one, I have replied as to the why.."i don't have a dog either & you never asked why not.." they stop asking them, oddly (maybe) I have quite a few friends of my age who also do not have children, same year at school or contemporaries at work...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *adylydfordWoman over a year ago

altinkum

I have never wanted children. Im just not maternal at all

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *adeiteWoman over a year ago

Staffordshire

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *acky RacersCouple over a year ago

Lincoln

children bore me and so do most parents...thought it was best I didn't breed...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I love that there are so many of us here, it's nice to find a group of like minded people. =)

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I haven't seen too many people on fab without kids, so I thought I'd make a thread to help me find others.

Who else doesn't have/ isn't going to have children? Not because you can't, or because they're grown up, just because you don't want to."

I think in the past there was a stigma about women who hadn't had kids....

Now it's a choice women have embrassed for a variety of reasons... Good on ya girls

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *wisted999Man over a year ago

North Bucks

Bugger I have blue eyes! What’s recessive about them?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I never wanted children as i was far too selfish in my younger years to even contemplate having to spend my time nurturing another human being...

However, that all changed when i met my ex and my priorities changed.. but i did wait until i was 39 to have one

Not wanting children isn't selfish.

I don't want to pass my health problems onto a child. I can and do give in other ways."

It was how i felt about it...i was far too busy enjoying myself and taking care of me..and not being remotely maternal..so yes, i was being selfish

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've never wanted children, I couldn't anyway for a long time.

Hello OP

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don't mind me.

Just making a list of the all women I want to impregnate

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hatYorkLadMan over a year ago

York

I've never wanted children, in my 20's I didn't want the partying to end and in my 30's I've enjoyed travelling, adventures and committing a lot of my free time to the reserves. I'm good with kids but just never wanted any of my own.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ister KinkyMan over a year ago

Sussex

"I haven't seen too many people on fab without kids, so I thought I'd make a thread to help me find others.

Who else doesn't have/ isn't going to have children? Not because you can't, or because they're grown up, just because you don't want to."

Morning!

Not a paternal bone in my body, never has been. Made the decision long ago that I wasn’t going to have children and at 43, that’s not going to change.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ensualtouch15Man over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

"I haven't seen too many people on fab without kids, so I thought I'd make a thread to help me find others.

Who else doesn't have/ isn't going to have children? Not because you can't, or because they're grown up, just because you don't want to."

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ute Manchester SwingersCouple over a year ago

Manchester

Can't stand children, but that seems like something you're not allowed to say either. As though the accepted vernacular is "i like kids, i just don't want any"

Nope, i just don't like them. The pressure as a young woman in a relationship is extraordinary.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *epsonWoman over a year ago

Biddulph

No children here. Made the decision at an early age. No regrets, it was right for me.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Same here. No kids at the moment. However, I hope to have children with a special person in my life. That MAYBE having my dna stored, and then kids through ivf, or adoption.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

I've always been awkward with kids and I don't feel maternal at all. People keep telling me it's different when it's your own but having grown up with a rather emotionally distant mother, I know the effect that has and it's not a risk I'm willing to take. Luckily my parents are pretty cool with it. My mum has made it pretty clear to my younger brother who is getting married soon and does want kids that she has little interest in helping out all that much so she's not that bothered about me not wanting them. My dad on the other hand loves kids but has only ever wanted me to be happy. It seems to be random strangers who are most bothered by it or people my own age or younger who have kids. It's like they take my choice as a judgment on their own. Very odd.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don’t have kids. I’m still on the fence about it.

I’m constantlyyyyy being hounded by people about it though. Did you know that we lose 90% of our eggs by the time we’re 30? I’ve actually had that said to me before. I don’t even know if it’s true, I was just so shocked someone thought it was ok to say to me

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I don’t have kids. I’m still on the fence about it.

Does that mean my decrepitude means I'm off the hook? Please please please

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

"I don’t have kids. I’m still on the fence about it.

Good! Be gone!

In all seriousness though, most people in this day and age have no problem getting pregnant in their 30s. I work with pregnant women and we're seeing more and more in their 40s.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *atcherwankerMan over a year ago

Birmingham

Checking in!

And feeling incredibly lucky I'm a man. Nobody ever judges me for my decision, whereas every childless woman I know gets exactly the kind of nonsense you've all experienced. I hate people sometimes

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Never wanted any, I can think of nothing worse. Get the fear when you're expected to show an interest or hold the friends new arrival/speak to the toddler covered in drool and snot.

Then there's the complaining from those who have them like they arrived from Mars unannounced and are a total surprise burden on their lives.

Assumptions at work you've got an easy life because you're child free or you'll do a shift for them.

I think single child free full time workers should get a tax break. We are waaay less of a burden on the system, schools, hospitals, Dr's surgeries etc buuut the married couple get a tax break and child allowances etc depending on circumstances/earnings etc....rant over! :D

Oh and don't get me started on crap programmes like the Baby Has Landed....

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’m child-free by choice. When I was married it was never the right time. Now I’m a 42 year old single man, I understand I’m now passed that age of having kids and I’m cool with it.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As of now, I'm not interested. Maybe in a few years but not now.

My own childhood and my mental health are probably the two factors that put me off the most!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

The doctor I mentioned above, he dismissed my pain from the moment he discovered I didn't want children. Morphine to discharge without painkillers in hours.

The spoiler in this story is, I had something which should have led to a pretty grisly death (and there were clear diagnostic signs that something was very wrong). I have no idea how I survived. Mofo is lucky I, or my family, didn't seek legal advice.

Mostly it's annoying, rudeness, etc.

Occasionally the bias is to the tune of lifelong psychological trauma and/or narrowly averted death.

I don't hate kids. I don't hate parents. I just want to be respected in my choices, not punished for them.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Hell, right now there's a mum and toddler not far from me and I suspect the way the girl is going on about it, we share the same first name. It's super cute.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *JohnMan over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

"Bugger I have blue eyes! What’s recessive about them? "

It's a technical term in genetics. You only get blue eyes if you get the blue-eye gene from both parents. If it was dominant, you'd only need to get it from one.

I'm child-free for a number of reasons, some of which overlap with the reasons I'm staying single. I'd be a terrible parent. And I'm doing my non-existent children a favour by not passing on these genes.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't have children.

-I got a sense from a young age that there's perhaps too many of us as it is.

This has been very noticeable for me as my extended family is pretty big. I have relatives all over the place.

When traveling abroad I end up having to hide from people (cousins etc.) just to get some peace lol.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I dont have them. Wanted to get a nice house, cars, see the world ect before i do.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Bugger I have blue eyes! What’s recessive about them?

It's a technical term in genetics. You only get blue eyes if you get the blue-eye gene from both parents. If it was dominant, you'd only need to get it from one.

Yes, sorry.

I learned it at school when I was thirteen, assumed it was common knowledge. A consultant should definitely know, though.

Neither of my parents have blue eyes, and I was teased about being adopted. Nope. Grandparent on each side with blue eyes. So my parents obviously have a blue gene each from their parents, but it was hidden by the dominant gene they got from their other parents.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *AYENCouple over a year ago

Lincolnshire

I K, have a 15 year old daughter who stays with us for 6-8 weeks of the year and is great fun, the other 40 odd weeks of the year we get up when we want, go to bed when we want, go where we want and do what we want - we wouldn't have it any other way!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *uietlykinkymeWoman over a year ago

kinky land

I have grown up friends and relatives that don't want children. No issue with that and I've never even asked why.

On a side note, at 31 I went to my gp, asked to be sterilized and it was done within weeks, it wasn't for medical reasons, and no one quizzed me!

The tiny scar is hidden inside my belly button and there's a small one lower down. No more birth control hell

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I have grown up friends and relatives that don't want children. No issue with that and I've never even asked why.

On a side note, at 31 I went to my gp, asked to be sterilized and it was done within weeks, it wasn't for medical reasons, and no one quizzed me!

The tiny scar is hidden inside my belly button and there's a small one lower down. No more birth control hell

God I'm jealous.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I have grown up friends and relatives that don't want children. No issue with that and I've never even asked why.

On a side note, at 31 I went to my gp, asked to be sterilized and it was done within weeks, it wasn't for medical reasons, and no one quizzed me!

The tiny scar is hidden inside my belly button and there's a small one lower down. No more birth control hell

God I'm jealous."

Same!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Myself and the other half both have no interest in having kids, it took my family about a year of “We want grandkids” before we finally told them to piss off

We can barely take care of ourselves never mind a crotch goblin

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *acky RacersCouple over a year ago

Lincoln

"Don't mind me.

Just making a list of the all women I want to impregnate "

The last line in your profile is so true.....

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Myself and the other half both have no interest in having kids, it took my family about a year of “We want grandkids” before we finally told them to piss off

We can barely take care of ourselves never mind a crotch goblin "

Crotch goblin!

I haven't heard that in ages.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By * Sophie xTV/TS over a year ago

Derby

Hiya, childfree definitely by choice.

My Dr threw me out of his surgery the first time I asked for a vasectomy as a present to myself on my 18th birthday

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's the best thing that ever happened to me and it pisses me off monumentally when people are judged for not wanting to as though it makes them weird or selfish or some other bullshit. Just because I wanted to why would anyone else? I look at the good that's done in the world by people I know who don't have children and it looks anything but selfish to me. And if you choose not to have a child so you can have a life where you CAN put yourself first then who else's business is it and what the hell is wrong with that? Your choice, your life, you're not letting anyone down.

As for people who say someone is lucky not to have them... I don't even know what that's supposed to mean. Every child should be wanted which is why it's important not to do it if you don't want to.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Myself and the other half both have no interest in having kids, it took my family about a year of “We want grandkids” before we finally told them to piss off

We can barely take care of ourselves never mind a crotch goblin

Crotch goblin!

I haven't heard that in ages."

It’s one of my favourites along with fuck trophy

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thank goodness I'm childfree

It would be my worst nightmare.

When asked what my greatest achievement in life was, I replied that it was never getting anyone pregnant.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think I'm still too young, which I know sounds strange considering I'm in my 30s.

Met a few people with kids on here and it doesn't bother me like a I thought it would.

Happy as I am.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"It's the best thing that ever happened to me and it pisses me off monumentally when people are judged for not wanting to as though it makes them weird or selfish or some other bullshit. Just because I wanted to why would anyone else? I look at the good that's done in the world by people I know who don't have children and it looks anything but selfish to me. And if you choose not to have a child so you can have a life where you CAN put yourself first then who else's business is it and what the hell is wrong with that? Your choice, your life, you're not letting anyone down.

As for people who say someone is lucky not to have them... I don't even know what that's supposed to mean. Every child should be wanted which is why it's important not to do it if you don't want to. "

God. Thank you.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *rMrsRichCouple over a year ago

Bournemouh

"I haven't seen too many people on fab without kids, so I thought I'd make a thread to help me find others.

Who else doesn't have/ isn't going to have children? Not because you can't, or because they're grown up, just because you don't want to."

Yes to this! I’m child free and intend to be forever and ever whoop!

Although I do feel the pressure of this. People look at you differently when you say you aren’t having any by choice.

Hit 35 last month and actually stopped consider whether my biological clock is ticking. It’s not. I think it’s broken

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As for people who say someone is lucky not to have them... I don't even know what that's supposed to mean. Every child should be wanted which is why it's important not to do it if you don't want to.

God. Thank you."

For what? It's true, chick. It's only other people's stupid judgment but I'm sick of hearing it. I'm sick of obnoxious, entitled parents, I was sick of them back when I was a new mum. Two of my closest female friends are childless by choice and their entire careers have been devoted to helping the most vulnerable people in our society. Both are a million miles from being selfish or unnatural. Another is childless by choice and has an amazing, glamorous, hedonistic life that she funds entirely alone and relishes like a boss. She's an inspiration to me. They're three of the most admirable, strong, beautiful people I know and none of them needs a trace of validation. Parenthood is one aspect of being an adult. There are a legion more.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Myself and the other half both have no interest in having kids, it took my family about a year of “We want grandkids” before we finally told them to piss off

We can barely take care of ourselves never mind a crotch goblin

Crotch goblin!

I haven't heard that in ages.

It’s one of my favourites along with fuck trophy

Semen demon is another I've heard a few times.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Thank you for getting it and saying it. It bloody matters.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thank you for getting it and saying it. It bloody matters."

Yeah it does. I don't like hearing stuff like crotch goblin but I understand it because people are made to feel like shit over it and they shouldn't be. But some people just live to tell everyone how great they are and how they've got it all worked out while the rest of us sit there thinking about faking a heart attack just so they'll shut the fuck up. We've all been there

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Thank you for getting it and saying it. It bloody matters.

Haha. I try not to use derogatory terms about kids, at least not without provocation. Just want to live my life without hurting anyone and have my choices respected.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thank you for getting it and saying it. It bloody matters.

Oh if crotch goblin offends you that’s pretty tame for me

but as I say I’d years of “When are you having kids?”

“Why don’t we have grandkids from you yet?” “Make sure it’s a boy to carry on the family name” so yeah they bugged me so I used slang terms for kids to wind them up

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't have kids of my own, and that is my choice. It caused me and an ex to part ways. My partner has a grwin up daughter who still lives at home, but no kiddie winks. I enjoy being bit of a free spirit and enjoy my travels too much to bring a mini me into the world haha

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *adame 2SwordsWoman over a year ago

Victoria, London

to the despair of my parents, I haven't, yet to grow up myself

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thank you for getting it and saying it. It bloody matters.

Oh if crotch goblin offends you that’s pretty tame for me

but as I say I’d years of “When are you having kids?”

“Why don’t we have grandkids from you yet?” “Make sure it’s a boy to carry on the family name” so yeah they bugged me so I used slang terms for kids to wind them up "

Nah it doesn't offend me and if it did that would be my problem. I totally get it and I don't blame anyone for being pissed off by being put under pressure like that. You're not a breeding bull.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thank you for getting it and saying it. It bloody matters.

Oh if crotch goblin offends you that’s pretty tame for me

but as I say I’d years of “When are you having kids?”

“Why don’t we have grandkids from you yet?” “Make sure it’s a boy to carry on the family name” so yeah they bugged me so I used slang terms for kids to wind them up

Nah it doesn't offend me and if it did that would be my problem. I totally get it and I don't blame anyone for being pissed off by being put under pressure like that. You're not a breeding bull. "
Hell after my teen years I’d be lucky if they’re still swimming

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My boyfriend has never wanted children of his own.

He is a step dad to his ex-wife's 2 children (now grown up) and he is a 'step father' to my 2 children (one is grown up and doesn't live at home, the younger one lives with us and also stays at his own dad's a few nights a week).

I (her) do not want more children, and due to medical problems requested a hysterectomy before we got together.

Therefore his choice to not want his own children totally suits me and my choices.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Thank you for getting it and saying it. It bloody matters.

Oh if crotch goblin offends you that’s pretty tame for me

but as I say I’d years of “When are you having kids?”

“Why don’t we have grandkids from you yet?” “Make sure it’s a boy to carry on the family name” so yeah they bugged me so I used slang terms for kids to wind them up "

I had the conversation with my parents once. I probably would have got a better reception if I'd been pregnant in my teens.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thank you for getting it and saying it. It bloody matters.

Oh if crotch goblin offends you that’s pretty tame for me

but as I say I’d years of “When are you having kids?”

“Why don’t we have grandkids from you yet?” “Make sure it’s a boy to carry on the family name” so yeah they bugged me so I used slang terms for kids to wind them up

I had the conversation with my parents once. I probably would have got a better reception if I'd been pregnant in my teens."

I told my dad I’d a boy with an ex but we put it up for adoption, he was pissed! He was even more angry when I told him I was joking

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ensualbicockMan over a year ago

liverpool wavertree picton clock

Yes I'm child free

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Mine never mentioned it and were clearly surprised when I told them I was pregnant. The relationship they've had with my son has made everyone involved so happy, they've been truly outstanding grandparents. But it's clear its not going to happen with my brother and they've never brought it up, let alone given him any crap for it. And that's being a good parent. You don't have kids so they'll do what you want. Doesn't work like that.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Mine never mentioned it and were clearly surprised when I told them I was pregnant. The relationship they've had with my son has made everyone involved so happy, they've been truly outstanding grandparents. But it's clear its not going to happen with my brother and they've never brought it up, let alone given him any crap for it. And that's being a good parent. You don't have kids so they'll do what you want. Doesn't work like that. "

Apparently I hate them and everything they stand for.

I thought they stood for more than the occupation of my womb, personally.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I haven't seen too many people on fab without kids, so I thought I'd make a thread to help me find others.

Who else doesn't have/ isn't going to have children? Not because you can't, or because they're grown up, just because you don't want to."

Yep. Over here. No kids as a result of a conscious decision early in our relationship.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have 2 amazing kids and they are the reason i wanna Wake up every morning.

I respect others choices not to want them and don’t make judgments.

Reading through this thread it’s a shame others don’t apply that logic about people that want/have kids.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *hatYorkLadMan over a year ago

York

"Thank you for getting it and saying it. It bloody matters.

Oh if crotch goblin offends you that’s pretty tame for me

but as I say I’d years of “When are you having kids?”

“Why don’t we have grandkids from you yet?” “Make sure it’s a boy to carry on the family name” so yeah they bugged me so I used slang terms for kids to wind them up "

I've had that from my mum and late dad "you're the last male in the family carrying the name, you need to pass it on", still don't want kids though!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *wist my nipplesCouple over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Lola, you seem to articulate the thoughts in my head so much more eloquently than me! Exactly what I wanted to say

Mrs TMN x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I have 2 amazing kids and they are the reason i wanna Wake up every morning.

I respect others choices not to want them and don’t make judgments.

Reading through this thread it’s a shame others don’t apply that logic about people that want/have kids.

This thread wasn't intended as a debate thread, or for people who are parents in any capacity. It's a place for people who are childfree by choice to find others that feel the same.

You can always start your own thread to talk about your kids if you like.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I have 2 amazing kids and they are the reason i wanna Wake up every morning.

I respect others choices not to want them and don’t make judgments.

Reading through this thread it’s a shame others don’t apply that logic about people that want/have kids.

Who says they dont?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Don't mind me.

Just making a list of the all women I want to impregnate

The last line in your profile is so true....."

Well I'm sure with time and counselling you'll learn to just let it go over your head

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *atcherwankerMan over a year ago

Birmingham

"I have 2 amazing kids and they are the reason i wanna Wake up every morning.

I respect others choices not to want them and don’t make judgments.

Reading through this thread it’s a shame others don’t apply that logic about people that want/have kids.

At least you haven't completely ignored the spirit of the thread you claim to have just read, and come in here specifically to talk about how amazing your children are and criticise people who choose not to have them.

OH NO HANG ON

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I have 2 amazing kids and they are the reason i wanna Wake up every morning.

I respect others choices not to want them and don’t make judgments.

Reading through this thread it’s a shame others don’t apply that logic about people that want/have kids.

OH NO HANG ON"

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oneyjule65Couple over a year ago

Halifax

"Morning

I don't have any children through choice.

And I'm now at an age where I probably can't.

So thankfully people have now stopped asking me when I'm going to have them

Me too

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As for people who say someone is lucky not to have them... I don't even know what that's supposed to mean. Every child should be wanted which is why it's important not to do it if you don't want to.

Lola, you seem to articulate the thoughts in my head so much more eloquently than me! Exactly what I wanted to say

Mrs TMN x"

Shucks

I'm just tired of hearing the rubbish I've been hearing for 18 years. And I've never felt judged by any childless person, I've never felt anything but support and respect from them. Which is why I don't like seeing them judged and invalidated by the smug reproduction brigade. I chose to focus my attention on my son rather than telling people what they should be doing with their lives, maybe I got it all wrong. Dunno though, my son is pretty damn awesome so that would be my advice. Focus on the child and keep your big fat nose out of other people's lives and your big fat mouth shut about other people's choices.

Peace, lola out (mic)

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have 2 amazing kids and they are the reason i wanna Wake up every morning.

I respect others choices not to want them and don’t make judgments.

Reading through this thread it’s a shame others don’t apply that logic about people that want/have kids.

OH NO HANG ON"

Where did I criticise people who choose not to have children?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have 2 amazing kids and they are the reason i wanna Wake up every morning.

I respect others choices not to want them and don’t make judgments.

Reading through this thread it’s a shame others don’t apply that logic about people that want/have kids.

Who says they dont?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The best laughs I’ve had are when you get

“You don’t know what it’s like to ____ Because you don’t have kids”

Cracks me up

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I have 2 amazing kids and they are the reason i wanna Wake up every morning.

I respect others choices not to want them and don’t make judgments.

Reading through this thread it’s a shame others don’t apply that logic about people that want/have kids.

Who says they dont?

Clint, you're obviously not childfree so you really don't need to be commenting here. If you could stop derailing the thread that would be great

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have 2 amazing kids and they are the reason i wanna Wake up every morning.

I respect others choices not to want them and don’t make judgments.

Reading through this thread it’s a shame others don’t apply that logic about people that want/have kids.

Who says they dont?

Clint, you're obviously not childfree so you really don't need to be commenting here. If you could stop derailing the thread that would be great

And the other 2 that have commented that they have kids?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I just love it when the people in the majority default lauded position demand respect from those not in it

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I have 2 amazing kids and they are the reason i wanna Wake up every morning.

I respect others choices not to want them and don’t make judgments.

Reading through this thread it’s a shame others don’t apply that logic about people that want/have kids.

Who says they dont?

Clint, you're obviously not childfree so you really don't need to be commenting here. If you could stop derailing the thread that would be great

And the other 2 that have commented that they have kids?"

The thread wasn't for them either, but you're the person I'm addressing at the moment.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have 2 amazing kids and they are the reason i wanna Wake up every morning.

I respect others choices not to want them and don’t make judgments.

Reading through this thread it’s a shame others don’t apply that logic about people that want/have kids.

Who says they dont?

Clint, you're obviously not childfree so you really don't need to be commenting here. If you could stop derailing the thread that would be great

And the other 2 that have commented that they have kids?

The thread wasn't for them either, but you're the person I'm addressing at the moment."

Oh I see

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *wist my nipplesCouple over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

[Removed by poster at 21/01/20 14:45:33]

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ily Con CarneTV/TS over a year ago

Cornwall

I don't have children, never wanted them ..and can't have them myself (either way, for obvious reasons) I have nieces etc.. but glad that I can hand them back... I don't have a parental gene in my body...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Childless by choice here! I have never wanted kids. Thank God for condoms!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Morning

I don't have any children through choice.

And I'm now at an age where I probably can't.

So thankfully people have now stopped asking me when I'm going to have them

That must be a great feeling!

Same here! Annoying being told all the time I may change my mind when I’m older, treating me like a kid

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I was very passionate about not wanting kids, I got into quite a few heated discussions on the subject.

I got a phone call one day from my partner telling me she was expecting, it’s the greatest thing to ever happen to me and I wouldn’t change a single thing.

I’m quite sure I don’t want two though.

People should respect the choices of others, similar to how other parents should fuck right off about telling other parents about how to parent.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *mberWoman over a year ago

Preston

Hola!

Child free here too. I think I'd be a decent parent but I've always been happy with my child free life.

If I got pregnant now and I was in a relationship I'd be ok with it, I think.

But I'm happy as I am, I like my life and I have children in it from friends.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

"The best laughs I’ve had are when you get

“You don’t know what it’s like to ____ Because you don’t have kids”

Cracks me up"

I get this about tiredness. I have chronic pain and two conditions that cause fatigue which leaves me tired most days. If I dont sleep well on top of that I feel like death warmed up. I power through but I'm pretty sure I know what tired feels like when even standing at the sink to do dishes is exhausting. Since when was it a competition anyway

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

As for people who say someone is lucky not to have them... I don't even know what that's supposed to mean. Every child should be wanted which is why it's important not to do it if you don't want to.

Lola, you seem to articulate the thoughts in my head so much more eloquently than me! Exactly what I wanted to say

Mrs TMN x

Shucks

Peace, lola out (mic) "

Round of applause!

I'm personally very happy for my friends who have children that want them. My best friend has just found out she has to wait 3 months after her honeymoon to try for a baby due to the risk of Zika virus and she's gutted as she's been desperate to have kids for years and has been waiting on her partner who wanted to get married first. I'm gutted for her as I know how much she wants it and I've spent hours helping her research and finding numbers for places to go to for information to find if there is a way around it. I'll be over the moon for her when it happens as it's what she wants so badly. It just isn't what I want for myself but we don't all have to want the same things.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The best laughs I’ve had are when you get

“You don’t know what it’s like to ____ Because you don’t have kids”

Cracks me up

There is no feeling or emotion that can be experienced by a parent that can't be experienced by someone childless. Fact.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If it makes anyone feel any better, being over 40 with several kids and a whole history of lost pregnancies still got me refused sterilisation. I then had an ectopic and lost a tube.

Its just down to funding and it sucks, childless or not.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"If it makes anyone feel any better, being over 40 with several kids and a whole history of lost pregnancies still got me refused sterilisation. I then had an ectopic and lost a tube.

Its just down to funding and it sucks, childless or not. "

I wish they'd say that then, rather than basically telling me I don't know my own mind and am too stupid to make medical decisions for myself.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The best laughs I’ve had are when you get

“You don’t know what it’s like to ____ Because you don’t have kids”

Cracks me up

I’ve an ice hockey and beer dependancy keeps me up till 4am with work at 7am but I get by these parents don’t know anything

I kid... well not kid ummm I joke

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *helski93Woman over a year ago

Clitheroe

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *atcherwankerMan over a year ago

Birmingham

"The best laughs I’ve had are when you get

“You don’t know what it’s like to ____ Because you don’t have kids”

Cracks me up

Christ, don't get me started on invisible illnesses. Especially on top of the "you don't have kids so you wouldn't know" claptrap. I'm quite enough of a misanthrope as it is, I don't need these kinds of triggers, too!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"The best laughs I’ve had are when you get

“You don’t know what it’s like to ____ Because you don’t have kids”

Cracks me up

Preach

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I had to have a conversation about children's lunch boxes earlier - and how one of the kids will only eat ham sandwiches.

Fuck my life! (insert bored shitless emoji )

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Me

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I had to have a conversation about children's lunch boxes earlier - and how one of the kids will only eat ham sandwiches.

Fuck my life! (insert bored shitless emoji )

But you're a woman. You have to care!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just thought I'd add my two pence here.

Anyone who gets worse medical care as a result of not wanting children - That's horrendous and implorable.

I've heard it from a freind that sterilization for younger couples is impossible to get on the nhs, even though there not willing to have children due to gyno problems.

As for us, weve tried and failed to have children and still get the " just have more sex/It's easy/whatever" it's really demoralizing and crappy really.

And yeah Facebook mum's do my head in!

.....And back to reality, rant over

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've always wanted kids. I was 25 when I fell pregnant. I've been with my partner for over 10 years and the comments I used to get about why I'm not pregnant yet and how I need to hurry up before it's too late used to piss me off so much

I can only imagine how you guys feel having people tell you what you should do.

If someone doesn't want kids it honestly doesn't bother me. I think there's enough of us with them already.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *atcherwankerMan over a year ago

Birmingham

"Just thought I'd add my two pence here.

Anyone who gets worse medical care as a result of not wanting children - That's horrendous and implorable.

I've heard it from a freind that sterilization for younger couples is impossible to get on the nhs, even though there not willing to have children due to gyno problems.

As for us, weve tried and failed to have children and still get the " just have more sex/It's easy/whatever" it's really demoralizing and crappy really.

And yeah Facebook mum's do my head in!

.....And back to reality, rant over

A "

There's all kinds of research pointing to women generally getting worse medical care than men in any case, adding the extra layer of negligence for defying breeding expectations and it's absolutely grotesque. That was probably the most upsetting/rage-inducing thing I read on this thread tbh.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *wsugartitsWoman over a year ago

McKenzie Bridge

We dont have kids...and I'm quite alright with it.. anytime I think I do I borrow one

We have 13 nieces and nephews that are returnable, works out great....

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

"Just thought I'd add my two pence here.

Anyone who gets worse medical care as a result of not wanting children - That's horrendous and implorable.

I've heard it from a freind that sterilization for younger couples is impossible to get on the nhs, even though there not willing to have children due to gyno problems.

As for us, weve tried and failed to have children and still get the " just have more sex/It's easy/whatever" it's really demoralizing and crappy really.

And yeah Facebook mum's do my head in!

.....And back to reality, rant over

I keep it quiet that I don't want kids as my condition can affect your fertility and I worry that if they know I'm not bothered about fertility they'll be less bothered about managing it.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Doing my bit to keep the world population down here too.

I was never bothered either way about having kids.

I definitely wouldn't want any now.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Been single for past 10 years so no reason to have a kid. Haven't felt broody at all.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *atcherwankerMan over a year ago

Birmingham

"Just thought I'd add my two pence here.

Anyone who gets worse medical care as a result of not wanting children - That's horrendous and implorable.

I've heard it from a freind that sterilization for younger couples is impossible to get on the nhs, even though there not willing to have children due to gyno problems.

As for us, weve tried and failed to have children and still get the " just have more sex/It's easy/whatever" it's really demoralizing and crappy really.

And yeah Facebook mum's do my head in!

.....And back to reality, rant over

I keep it quiet that I don't want kids as my condition can affect your fertility and I worry that if they know I'm not bothered about fertility they'll be less bothered about managing it."

It angers me no end that you're almost certainly right to be concerned.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

The condition I had, children and family planning can alter things, so I had to speak up.

A condition I have... Yeah I don't want babies so they don't give a toss other than fat shaming me.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I had to have a conversation about children's lunch boxes earlier - and how one of the kids will only eat ham sandwiches.

Fuck my life! (insert bored shitless emoji )

But you're a woman. You have to care!"

Some of the women I work with are the most boring people I've ever met!

And the irony is that they feel sorry for me because I dont have any children and I'm "missing out "

It's just rude and narrow minded.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I had to have a conversation about children's lunch boxes earlier - and how one of the kids will only eat ham sandwiches.

Fuck my life! (insert bored shitless emoji )

But you're a woman. You have to care!

Some of the women I work with are the most boring people I've ever met!

And the irony is that they feel sorry for me because I dont have any children and I'm "missing out "

It's just rude and narrow minded.

It is. I wouldn't choose to have kids, but I'm sure the vast majority who do get a lot out of it. I don't feel sorry for them.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *uriousscouserWoman over a year ago

Wirral

Don't want them, never wanted them, probably couldn't have them even if I did desperately want them.

I respect anyone's choice to have them or to not have them. Would be lovely if others respected my choice in the same way.

If someone is really pushy and judgy I'll give them chapter and verse on my past and it never fails to embarrass them into shutting up. It would be nice to not have to disclose deeply personal details though!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *zQTWoman over a year ago

Somewhere

Me. I have always said I don’t want any and if it does accidentally happen someday, I will cry

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Morning

I don't have any children through choice.

And I'm now at an age where I probably can't.

So thankfully people have now stopped asking me when I'm going to have them

That must be a great feeling!

Most people usually other women with kids won't respect your choices.

It's a form of judgement and criticism that seems acceptable to them!

But god forbid you criticize or judge their little Angel's or yawn in their face when they're going on and on about them

If you are childless by choice, then good for you! I've heard people state they are too selfish to have children. IMO the selfish people are those who have children. This includes me. I always wanted children, and in some way I tried to fix my awful childhood through them. That didn't work, in fact only being the child me's bestest friend forever, fixed it. Anyway, I needed to love and that to be reciprocated - that bit worked.

When we desire children, we don't think of the world we're bringing them into, or the burden upon the world. Read Dan Brown's Inferno for the relevance

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Don't want them, never wanted them, probably couldn't have them even if I did desperately want them.

I respect anyone's choice to have them or to not have them. Would be lovely if others respected my choice in the same way.

Ooh yes. I have several utterly compelling reasons why it's not happening and if I have to I will make you regret insisting that I should have children.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I had one guy (an very much older guy) tell me it was my right as a woman to have children and that I was wrong for not having any!

You can probably image my response

TWAT (him, of course).

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *issmorganWoman over a year ago

Calderdale innit

This applies to me

Known from a v young age I didn't want children,

Always had people try and make me feel there is something wrong with me for choosing to be childless.

Thankfully Jack doesn't want children either and at 45 I am too old now to be told "you will change your mind etc".

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Don't want them, never wanted them, probably couldn't have them even if I did desperately want them.

I respect anyone's choice to have them or to not have them. Would be lovely if others respected my choice in the same way.

I know the feeling, I might type up a short leaflet on why I don't want kids and just hand it out to judgey people. That way I don't have to waste time telling them.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I had one guy (an very much older guy) tell me it was my right as a woman to have children and that I was wrong for not having any!

You can probably image my response

TWAT (him, of course). "

I've been told several times that it's my duty.

Kindly fuck off.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *Man1263Man over a year ago

Stockport

"I haven't seen too many people on fab without kids, so I thought I'd make a thread to help me find others.

Who else doesn't have/ isn't going to have children? Not because you can't, or because they're grown up, just because you don't want to."

I knew I didn't want any children from a young age, think 18ish.

By the time I got to 33 I had made my mind up that children just wasn't for me so had vasectomy.

Much to my mother's annoyance.

But whilst I get on with them, and enjoy the company etc nephew and niece when with them, just not for me.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I always did want kids cos I wanted to be a better father than mine was. And I am.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I always did want kids cos I wanted to be a better father than mine was. And I am. "

One of the reasons I'm not having kids is because I fear my mother's parenting being repeated.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I'm another one who has never wanted kids, not for any specific reason either, apart from supporting myself from the age of 17,I have become used to my own income and supporting myself, I even told an ex partner when I was 26 that if he wanted kids, he was with the wrong person, so I have never been selfish about my decision, though I did always say it was not set in stone, in case my mind changed as I got older, and fortunately for me it never has!

But then that may also be have a connection with not meeting the right partner.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ily WhiteWoman over a year ago

Firmly in the never wanted kids camp. Luckily I've got to the age where people have stopped insisting that I'll change my mind... although I now get asked if I regret it or told that I'll be lonely when I'm old

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Firmly in the never wanted kids camp. Luckily I've got to the age where people have stopped insisting that I'll change my mind... although I now get asked if I regret it or told that I'll be lonely when I'm old

Damn,it just never ends

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iamondCougarWoman over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

Child free by choice here too

Never wanted any, don’t have the maternal gene, it would of been my worst nightmare come true. I don’t regret it one bit either

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *akemepurrWoman over a year ago

Fife

I have no kids. Through choice and circumstance I suppose. When I was younger - late teens/early twenties - my body clock went mental on me and I got super super broody, but still didn’t find anyone I wanted to procreate with. I now consider myself a bit too old to start having kids and don’t really want them either. My mum likes to have a bit of a dig as the majority of her friends all have grandchildren! However, funnily enough my childless brother also doesn’t get any grief or prodding!!!

I’m quite good with kids and plenty of opportunities to borrow if I want. I do think a person’s reproductive rights should be entirely theirs. So if you want sterilisation or a vasectomy at a young age or any age that should be your decision to make.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

May I also add, that the looks of shock and horror I faced from work colleagues a few years ago was staggering! Even from those who could only face having one child, was of horror and disbelief that I have never wanted them.

Why the hell do women get so judged on their decision making regarding this is beyond me!

But I must say, I think I have had it easy compared to some.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Everyone should be able to choose. I hate that it's assumed that everyone MUST have kids. Why???

Societal norms, load of bollocks. As for refusing sterilisation under 35, it's a money saving scheme."

I've had 3 children... which I'm sure cost the NHS more than a sterilisation would? X

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I plan to be utterly disgraceful when I'm old.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Morning

I don't have any children through choice.

And I'm now at an age where I probably can't.

So thankfully people have now stopped asking me when I'm going to have them

That must be a great feeling!

Most people usually other women with kids won't respect your choices.

It's a form of judgement and criticism that seems acceptable to them!

But god forbid you criticize or judge their little Angel's or yawn in their face when they're going on and on about them

Think I'm the opposite of that I've got 4 kids and love them with my whole heart would die for them and all that crap but............... I would probably not have children if I had to make that choice again I understand why some animals eat their young

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

May I just remind some women, that I overheard a conversation in Boots last year, that I just had to but into! A women was telling a friend that another friend fell pregnant naturally at age 52! And no she wasn't trying, she just thought she couldn't so I had to ask my GP as I was contemplating whether to bother to renew my implant or not, my GP said, wait until I hit the menopause then add a year!

Scared the shit out of me lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"May I just remind some women, that I overheard a conversation in Boots last year, that I just had to but into! A women was telling a friend that another friend fell pregnant naturally at age 52! And no she wasn't trying, she just thought she couldn't so I had to ask my GP as I was contemplating whether to bother to renew my implant or not, my GP said, wait until I hit the menopause then add a year!

Scared the shit out of me lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Scared the shit out of me lol

yeap! That was why I had to butt in, as I thought I had misheard her! But nope, I heard right, she was 52

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I completely understand the reasons for people to not want children, I did not like kids.... Devastated when I got pregnant, abortion not an option...

Did consider options including selling it on the black market but access to the dark web was not readily available then.

Then he was born and well! Wtf now??

I found a way... 25 years on, he's still alive.

I love the bones of him and his brother.

Not quite sure why there is so much negativity surrounding parents being proud? Don't like it then unfollow or unfriend, or walk away.

You want people to understand your reasons and wishes, great. But you don't know what people have gone through to have their much loved little person

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I have no issue with parents being proud, needing support, etc. With societal resources including my taxes being spent on their kids.

I do have an issue with being treated like I'm less than because I don't have or want kids. With my medical care being compromised (again, I should have died a grisly death). With my choices not being respected. Being pitied, judged, even told I'm subhuman. My mother screaming an inch from my face because I told her I didn't want to be a mother. Being forced to listen to things ad nauseum that bore me rigid.

Go be proud of your kids. Good! Just... fuck. Have some empathy for this side of the fence. It's not pretty.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I completely understand the reasons for people to not want children, I did not like kids.... Devastated when I got pregnant, abortion not an option...

Did consider options including selling it on the black market but access to the dark web was not readily available then.

Then he was born and well! Wtf now??

I found a way... 25 years on, he's still alive.

I love the bones of him and his brother.

Not quite sure why there is so much negativity surrounding parents being proud? Don't like it then unfollow or unfriend, or walk away.

You want people to understand your reasons and wishes, great. But you don't know what people have gone through to have their much loved little person

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)