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What makes a swinger?
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What makes a person a swinger? Do you define yourself as a swinger? Is it part of who you are, or is it just where you find yourself at this point in your life?
I'm particularly interested in single people's take on this, bit easier to define as a couple I think. If you're single now but were to get into a relationship, would you still swing?
Yours interestedly,
Mrs TMN x |
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By *VineMan
over a year ago
The right place |
This is one of those questions you can get pedantic about and say that swinging is swapping partners so therefore you have to be in a couple to be one. I think though it’s also about having no strings attached sex with others. And this is a swingers site (clue’s in the name) so I’m happy to be described as one. |
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"What makes a person a swinger? Do you define yourself as a swinger? Is it part of who you are, or is it just where you find yourself at this point in your life?
I'm particularly interested in single people's take on this, bit easier to define as a couple I think. If you're single now but were to get into a relationship, would you still swing?
Yours interestedly,
Mrs TMN x "
This is a very interesting question!
What makes a single person who'd enjoy having casual recreational sex a swinger?
Is it that it's planned in advance? Often thought about this, haven't been able to put my finger on it... |
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"This is one of those questions you can get pedantic about and say that swinging is swapping partners so therefore you have to be in a couple to be one. I think though it’s also about having no strings attached sex with others. And this is a swingers site (clue’s in the name) so I’m happy to be described as one. "
Not trying to be pedantic, genuinely interested in other people's views. I would agree, the sexual freedom is an important element of it. |
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"I’m not a swinger, more of a freelance entertainer if that makes sense? 
Not really, can you expand on that? 
I'm serious! Do you just mean you want no strings sex? "
My interpretation is that I’m not in a couple on this site (single on here) so I can’t see how I can define myself as a swinger. However I’m quite happy arranging meets that leads to sex with people on here. |
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"What makes a person a swinger? Do you define yourself as a swinger? Is it part of who you are, or is it just where you find yourself at this point in your life?
I'm particularly interested in single people's take on this, bit easier to define as a couple I think. If you're single now but were to get into a relationship, would you still swing?
Yours interestedly,
Mrs TMN x
This is a very interesting question!
What makes a single person who'd enjoy having casual recreational sex a swinger?
Is it that it's planned in advance? Often thought about this, haven't been able to put my finger on it... "
It is a curious one, isn't it? You could plan casual sex with people through more traditional dating sites though, I assume. Would that be swinging? |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
It can be whatever you want it to be as an individual - to some it's an exclusive "couples" thing, to others it's NSA with multiple partners, to others something else again.
Me? I don't really have a personal definition I don't think, I just am what I am |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not a swinger, I'm someone who lurks on a swingers site and doesn't meet anyone.
Ah, but if you did, would you be a swinger? "
If I was meeting more than one person, with the knowledge and acceptance of all of them, then I would say yes. |
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By *lan157Man
over a year ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
"This is one of those questions you can get pedantic about and say that swinging is swapping partners so therefore you have to be in a couple to be one. I think though it’s also about having no strings attached sex with others. And this is a swingers site (clue’s in the name) so I’m happy to be described as one. "
I would go with this as a single person at this time and be described as a swinger. I am fortunate to have single women friends to go to clubs and parties with that are happy to be described as partners for the evening . |
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"I’m not a swinger, more of a freelance entertainer if that makes sense?
Not really, can you expand on that?
I'm serious! Do you just mean you want no strings sex?
My interpretation is that I’m not in a couple on this site (single on here) so I can’t see how I can define myself as a swinger. However I’m quite happy arranging meets that leads to sex with people on here."
Ah. Fab single. Gotcha. |
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"It can be whatever you want it to be as an individual - to some it's an exclusive "couples" thing, to others it's NSA with multiple partners, to others something else again.
Me? I don't really have a personal definition I don't think, I just am what I am "
I think this is the view I'm coming to - it's many things to many people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't class myself as a swinger. I joined this site on a friend's recommendation where I could meet people like me that wanted casual sex and not be judged for it.
I've since met a guy on here that's turned to a bit more than a FAF and we will start playing together aswell as separately. Does that make me a swinger? Maybe but until it's actually happened I'm just a girl have fun surrounded by people who don't judge me for my life choices. |
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It's a good question and hard to define for singles. I think swinging is as much a lifestyle choice as anything else and a swinger embraces that lifestyle eg. goes to swingers clubs, parties, socials etc. Simply having a NSA casual shag with someone once in a blue moon doesn't necessarily make someone a swinger? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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By most definitions I can’t be a swinger. Although I do believe that underpinning why I am here I have a swinging mindset. I am non-monogamous, but wish I had realised that a much earlier age as all the signs were there from my formative years. However I’m also a romantic so enjoy deep relationships too. Maybe I am more accurately polyamorous, I’m just thinking about it, so excuse my stream of consciousness ramblings.
I’m attracted to people regardless of gender and enjoy group sex as much as one-to-one and I am capable of enjoying no strings sex, as it being part of an ongoing form of relationship.
I dunno if that’s a swinging mindset but if I throw in that ideally it would be ethical too, then maybe that’s how I see it. |
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"It's a good question and hard to define for singles. I think swinging is as much a lifestyle choice as anything else and a swinger embraces that lifestyle eg. goes to swingers clubs, parties, socials etc. Simply having a NSA casual shag with someone once in a blue moon doesn't necessarily make someone a swinger? "
Interesting. We'd love to embrace the lifestyle more but geography and family commitments prevent that currently. |
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It's not my identity, as I typically don't identify as something that I do. Always been interested in it and have engaged in the lifestyle for a big part of my life.I'm single atm and open to continuing whether in a relationship or not. My outlook and love of multiple partners, including between others in relationships, fits snugly with this lifestyle and I seem to fit in well. I'm probably more suited to being single and enjoying NSA type engagements. We can all things by many labels and I'm comfortable with being flexible, not needing to satisfy society by identifying and behave as many would approve of. I'm also very tolerant and I think this is really valuable for us.
|
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"It's a good question and hard to define for singles. I think swinging is as much a lifestyle choice as anything else and a swinger embraces that lifestyle eg. goes to swingers clubs, parties, socials etc. Simply having a NSA casual shag with someone once in a blue moon doesn't necessarily make someone a swinger?
Interesting. We'd love to embrace the lifestyle more but geography and family commitments prevent that currently. "
That's my view on single swingers. For couples such as yourself it's more clear cut, you play with other couples, you may or may not swap but that's definitely the true definition of swinging. For singles, as you've suggested, it's a bit more of a grey area |
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"By most definitions I can’t be a swinger. Although I do believe that underpinning why I am here I have a swinging mindset. I am non-monogamous, but wish I had realised that a much earlier age as all the signs were there from my formative years. However I’m also a romantic so enjoy deep relationships too. Maybe I am more accurately polyamorous, I’m just thinking about it, so excuse my stream of consciousness ramblings.
I’m attracted to people regardless of gender and enjoy group sex as much as one-to-one and I am capable of enjoying no strings sex, as it being part of an ongoing form of relationship.
I dunno if that’s a swinging mindset but if I throw in that ideally it would be ethical too, then maybe that’s how I see it."
Thank you, Doc. A swinging mindset is an interesting one - maybe a more accurate descriptor than being a swinger as it covers a whole spectrum of sexual and romantic relationships? |
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In what most class as a ‘swinger’ I’m not. I’m not part of a couple, I don’t go to clubs.
I don’t do normal dating sites as I’m not looking for a relationship, so why be misleading from the outset.
Here I get to enjoy sex with like minded individuals, without the hassle or drama of it meaning anything more than two people (or more) enjoying time together.
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"It's not my identity, as I typically don't identify as something that I do. Always been interested in it and have engaged in the lifestyle for a big part of my life.I'm single atm and open to continuing whether in a relationship or not. My outlook and love of multiple partners, including between others in relationships, fits snugly with this lifestyle and I seem to fit in well. I'm probably more suited to being single and enjoying NSA type engagements. We can all things by many labels and I'm comfortable with being flexible, not needing to satisfy society by identifying and behave as many would approve of. I'm also very tolerant and I think this is really valuable for us.
"
Agreed, being tolerant is hugely valuable in the lifestyle (and in general) I think. Labelling also a good point - some people like them, some don't! I hadn't really thought about that. |
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"It's a good question and hard to define for singles. I think swinging is as much a lifestyle choice as anything else and a swinger embraces that lifestyle eg. goes to swingers clubs, parties, socials etc. Simply having a NSA casual shag with someone once in a blue moon doesn't necessarily make someone a swinger?
Interesting. We'd love to embrace the lifestyle more but geography and family commitments prevent that currently.
That's my view on single swingers. For couples such as yourself it's more clear cut, you play with other couples, you may or may not swap but that's definitely the true definition of swinging. For singles, as you've suggested, it's a bit more of a grey area "
Surely there have always been singles into the lifestyle, though? I guess it's up to them how they define themselves. Or if they define themselves. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"By most definitions I can’t be a swinger. Although I do believe that underpinning why I am here I have a swinging mindset. I am non-monogamous, but wish I had realised that a much earlier age as all the signs were there from my formative years. However I’m also a romantic so enjoy deep relationships too. Maybe I am more accurately polyamorous, I’m just thinking about it, so excuse my stream of consciousness ramblings.
I’m attracted to people regardless of gender and enjoy group sex as much as one-to-one and I am capable of enjoying no strings sex, as it being part of an ongoing form of relationship.
I dunno if that’s a swinging mindset but if I throw in that ideally it would be ethical too, then maybe that’s how I see it.
Thank you, Doc. A swinging mindset is an interesting one - maybe a more accurate descriptor than being a swinger as it covers a whole spectrum of sexual and romantic relationships?"
I think the whole concept has moved on maybe the term is now a sort of skeuomorph, i.e, a term that is left over from a paradigm that has changed. |
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"It's a good question and hard to define for singles. I think swinging is as much a lifestyle choice as anything else and a swinger embraces that lifestyle eg. goes to swingers clubs, parties, socials etc. Simply having a NSA casual shag with someone once in a blue moon doesn't necessarily make someone a swinger?
Interesting. We'd love to embrace the lifestyle more but geography and family commitments prevent that currently.
That's my view on single swingers. For couples such as yourself it's more clear cut, you play with other couples, you may or may not swap but that's definitely the true definition of swinging. For singles, as you've suggested, it's a bit more of a grey area
Surely there have always been singles into the lifestyle, though? I guess it's up to them how they define themselves. Or if they define themselves. "
The traditional view of swinging, from the early days, was couples swapping partners. I think that's where the phrase "swinging" comes from. But, yes, many singles now embrace the lifestyle too. Anyway, whatever the label, we are all here for a good time |
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"By most definitions I can’t be a swinger. Although I do believe that underpinning why I am here I have a swinging mindset. I am non-monogamous, but wish I had realised that a much earlier age as all the signs were there from my formative years. However I’m also a romantic so enjoy deep relationships too. Maybe I am more accurately polyamorous, I’m just thinking about it, so excuse my stream of consciousness ramblings.
I’m attracted to people regardless of gender and enjoy group sex as much as one-to-one and I am capable of enjoying no strings sex, as it being part of an ongoing form of relationship.
I dunno if that’s a swinging mindset but if I throw in that ideally it would be ethical too, then maybe that’s how I see it.
Thank you, Doc. A swinging mindset is an interesting one - maybe a more accurate descriptor than being a swinger as it covers a whole spectrum of sexual and romantic relationships?
I think the whole concept has moved on maybe the term is now a sort of skeuomorph, i.e, a term that is left over from a paradigm that has changed. "
Exactly, I was thinking it was a skeuomorph too! She lied |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's not my identity, as I typically don't identify as something that I do. Always been interested in it and have engaged in the lifestyle for a big part of my life.I'm single atm and open to continuing whether in a relationship or not. My outlook and love of multiple partners, including between others in relationships, fits snugly with this lifestyle and I seem to fit in well. I'm probably more suited to being single and enjoying NSA type engagements. We can all things by many labels and I'm comfortable with being flexible, not needing to satisfy society by identifying and behave as many would approve of. I'm also very tolerant and I think this is really valuable for us.
"
Nice post. There’s a lot that resonates with me in there and in SpursChick’s post. Probably lots above too, but I haven’t read the whole thread. Although our circumstances are different I hold a similar view. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"By most definitions I can’t be a swinger. Although I do believe that underpinning why I am here I have a swinging mindset. I am non-monogamous, but wish I had realised that a much earlier age as all the signs were there from my formative years. However I’m also a romantic so enjoy deep relationships too. Maybe I am more accurately polyamorous, I’m just thinking about it, so excuse my stream of consciousness ramblings.
I’m attracted to people regardless of gender and enjoy group sex as much as one-to-one and I am capable of enjoying no strings sex, as it being part of an ongoing form of relationship.
I dunno if that’s a swinging mindset but if I throw in that ideally it would be ethical too, then maybe that’s how I see it.
Thank you, Doc. A swinging mindset is an interesting one - maybe a more accurate descriptor than being a swinger as it covers a whole spectrum of sexual and romantic relationships?
I think the whole concept has moved on maybe the term is now a sort of skeuomorph, i.e, a term that is left over from a paradigm that has changed.
Exactly, I was thinking it was a skeuomorph too! She lied "
it’s a fucking great word |
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By *arlo82Couple
over a year ago
the gym and random places |
I think it's a mind frame whether single or not.
Some are out to satisfy as many conquests/fantasies as they can and kudos to them
For some it's the sharing aspect that gets them off..
Having been in a swinging relationship and swung single my mind frame hasn't altered. |
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"By most definitions I can’t be a swinger. Although I do believe that underpinning why I am here I have a swinging mindset. I am non-monogamous, but wish I had realised that a much earlier age as all the signs were there from my formative years. However I’m also a romantic so enjoy deep relationships too. Maybe I am more accurately polyamorous, I’m just thinking about it, so excuse my stream of consciousness ramblings.
I’m attracted to people regardless of gender and enjoy group sex as much as one-to-one and I am capable of enjoying no strings sex, as it being part of an ongoing form of relationship.
I dunno if that’s a swinging mindset but if I throw in that ideally it would be ethical too, then maybe that’s how I see it.
Thank you, Doc. A swinging mindset is an interesting one - maybe a more accurate descriptor than being a swinger as it covers a whole spectrum of sexual and romantic relationships?
I think the whole concept has moved on maybe the term is now a sort of skeuomorph, i.e, a term that is left over from a paradigm that has changed. "
A skeuomorph! I learned a new word. I love learning new words. This has made my day  |
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"It's a good question and hard to define for singles. I think swinging is as much a lifestyle choice as anything else and a swinger embraces that lifestyle eg. goes to swingers clubs, parties, socials etc. Simply having a NSA casual shag with someone once in a blue moon doesn't necessarily make someone a swinger?
Interesting. We'd love to embrace the lifestyle more but geography and family commitments prevent that currently.
That's my view on single swingers. For couples such as yourself it's more clear cut, you play with other couples, you may or may not swap but that's definitely the true definition of swinging. For singles, as you've suggested, it's a bit more of a grey area
Surely there have always been singles into the lifestyle, though? I guess it's up to them how they define themselves. Or if they define themselves.
The traditional view of swinging, from the early days, was couples swapping partners. I think that's where the phrase "swinging" comes from. But, yes, many singles now embrace the lifestyle too. Anyway, whatever the label, we are all here for a good time "
Ain't that the truth? If it's not fun, you're doing it wrong! |
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"By most definitions I can’t be a swinger. Although I do believe that underpinning why I am here I have a swinging mindset. I am non-monogamous, but wish I had realised that a much earlier age as all the signs were there from my formative years. However I’m also a romantic so enjoy deep relationships too. Maybe I am more accurately polyamorous, I’m just thinking about it, so excuse my stream of consciousness ramblings.
I’m attracted to people regardless of gender and enjoy group sex as much as one-to-one and I am capable of enjoying no strings sex, as it being part of an ongoing form of relationship.
I dunno if that’s a swinging mindset but if I throw in that ideally it would be ethical too, then maybe that’s how I see it.
Thank you, Doc. A swinging mindset is an interesting one - maybe a more accurate descriptor than being a swinger as it covers a whole spectrum of sexual and romantic relationships?
I think the whole concept has moved on maybe the term is now a sort of skeuomorph, i.e, a term that is left over from a paradigm that has changed.
Exactly, I was thinking it was a skeuomorph too! She lied it’s a fucking great word"
I'm going to randomly drop it into a conversation today  |
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I’m fairly new to all this. I always understood swingers to be couples who swapped / hooked up with others or added others into their sex lives etc. So I don’t class myself as a swinger as I’m not in a relationship to add others into. I’m just a single male looking for a bit of fun.
Really though I suppose you don’t need a label. Each person or couple is here for their own kinks/interests and their ‘situation’ is whatever they want to call it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"By most definitions I can’t be a swinger. Although I do believe that underpinning why I am here I have a swinging mindset. I am non-monogamous, but wish I had realised that a much earlier age as all the signs were there from my formative years. However I’m also a romantic so enjoy deep relationships too. Maybe I am more accurately polyamorous, I’m just thinking about it, so excuse my stream of consciousness ramblings.
I’m attracted to people regardless of gender and enjoy group sex as much as one-to-one and I am capable of enjoying no strings sex, as it being part of an ongoing form of relationship.
I dunno if that’s a swinging mindset but if I throw in that ideally it would be ethical too, then maybe that’s how I see it.
Thank you, Doc. A swinging mindset is an interesting one - maybe a more accurate descriptor than being a swinger as it covers a whole spectrum of sexual and romantic relationships?
I think the whole concept has moved on maybe the term is now a sort of skeuomorph, i.e, a term that is left over from a paradigm that has changed.
Exactly, I was thinking it was a skeuomorph too! She lied it’s a fucking great word
I'm going to randomly drop it into a conversation today "
. Let me know what the response is |
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"What makes a person a swinger? Do you define yourself as a swinger? Is it part of who you are, or is it just where you find yourself at this point in your life?
I'm particularly interested in single people's take on this, bit easier to define as a couple I think. If you're single now but were to get into a relationship, would you still swing?
Yours interestedly,
Mrs TMN x "
I (Mr) have been in this lifestyle for over 30 years both as a single guy and with 3 different partners as a couple.
I will answer the last question first. During one relationship I did give it up (yes really gave it up) for just over 3 years and for a similar length of time when I first got together with Mrs H.
In the early days I didn't really define myself as a swinger as such, more as a single guy that visited swinger clubs.
After the period (about a year) with my first actual swinging partner I then tended to call myself a swinger even when I was single, which carried on after my second partner (4 years)
With Mrs H we have been doing this together for 11 years and, while we regard ourselves as a full on swinging couple when we are active, we keep our two lives completely separate.
If, for whatever reason, we gave it up as a couple I would never go back to swinging as a single guy. I had great fun when I was much younger (and in demand) but I'm just too old for that shit now. |
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"What makes a person a swinger? Do you define yourself as a swinger? Is it part of who you are, or is it just where you find yourself at this point in your life?
I'm particularly interested in single people's take on this, bit easier to define as a couple I think. If you're single now but were to get into a relationship, would you still swing?
Yours interestedly,
Mrs TMN x
I (Mr) have been in this lifestyle for over 30 years both as a single guy and with 3 different partners as a couple.
I will answer the last question first. During one relationship I did give it up (yes really gave it up) for just over 3 years and for a similar length of time when I first got together with Mrs H.
In the early days I didn't really define myself as a swinger as such, more as a single guy that visited swinger clubs.
After the period (about a year) with my first actual swinging partner I then tended to call myself a swinger even when I was single, which carried on after my second partner (4 years)
With Mrs H we have been doing this together for 11 years and, while we regard ourselves as a full on swinging couple when we are active, we keep our two lives completely separate.
If, for whatever reason, we gave it up as a couple I would never go back to swinging as a single guy. I had great fun when I was much younger (and in demand) but I'm just too old for that shit now. "
Thank you! I love hearing other people's experiences. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Great thread OP!
personally, call me what you want.
by traditional views, i can't be a swinger, as i am not part of a couple.
new age logic would suggest that as i attend clubs, play with couples/sf/sm, and enjoy multiple partners, then maybe i am.
or am i just greedy? 
Thankfully, I'll never be in a relationship, so i wouldn't have to cross the wwyd bridge.
but this is who i am, and i wouldn't change that for anyone.
Prin  |
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"Great thread OP!
personally, call me what you want.
by traditional views, i can't be a swinger, as i am not part of a couple.
new age logic would suggest that as i attend clubs, play with couples/sf/sm, and enjoy multiple partners, then maybe i am.
or am i just greedy?
Thankfully, I'll never be in a relationship, so i wouldn't have to cross the wwyd bridge.
but this is who i am, and i wouldn't change that for anyone.
Prin "
Well thank you! Really interesting getting other people's take on it. |
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I think it's more defined by the way you think than what you do. I know guys and girls that use "swipe-right" apps that have more no strings sex than I do, but they wouldn't define themselves as swingers.
Theres something honest about a swingers site (and yes I know there is lots of dishonesty on here), in that you clearly state what you are looking for without the rules and restrictions of the apps, you can be completely clear about your situation, what activities you enjoy and what you are looking for, in other words you have complete freedom to express yourself.
So weirdly that's what I think makes a swinger, someone that has the freedom to articulate what they want and are unabashed and unashamed to state it. |
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"I think it's more defined by the way you think than what you do. I know guys and girls that use "swipe-right" apps that have more no strings sex than I do, but they wouldn't define themselves as swingers.
Theres something honest about a swingers site (and yes I know there is lots of dishonesty on here), in that you clearly state what you are looking for without the rules and restrictions of the apps, you can be completely clear about your situation, what activities you enjoy and what you are looking for, in other words you have complete freedom to express yourself.
So weirdly that's what I think makes a swinger, someone that has the freedom to articulate what they want and are unabashed and unashamed to state it."
I don't think that's weird. So it's how you think rather than what you do? That strikes a chord with me. |
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"I think it's more defined by the way you think than what you do. I know guys and girls that use "swipe-right" apps that have more no strings sex than I do, but they wouldn't define themselves as swingers.
Theres something honest about a swingers site (and yes I know there is lots of dishonesty on here), in that you clearly state what you are looking for without the rules and restrictions of the apps, you can be completely clear about your situation, what activities you enjoy and what you are looking for, in other words you have complete freedom to express yourself.
So weirdly that's what I think makes a swinger, someone that has the freedom to articulate what they want and are unabashed and unashamed to state it.
I don't think that's weird. So it's how you think rather than what you do? That strikes a chord with me. "
For me, yes, being a swinger is a "state of mind". There are men and women out there that have a different partner every weekend, but they would look in horror if you suggested they were in effect "swinging", but that's if you define swinging as an act and then further put stipulations on that (i.e. wife-swapping).
For me being a swinger is being a hedonist, pursuing pleasure in its physical form with people that are likewise inclined, never expecting more from your partner of the moment to respect the boundaries that you have clearly articulated. |
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"I’m not a swinger, more of a freelance entertainer if that makes sense? "
. When I was a single on here I didn’t feel like I was a swinger. I still don’t see myself as one now. Although the couples we’ve met say I’m very good at it
Mrs J |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
When I first started as a single, my first meet was a MMF. I rationalised it as; they're swingers, I had sex with them in a swinging set up, so I'm a swinger.
As time went on I came to be part of a couple and realised that swinging is more about the 'multiple partners with no jealousy' ethos and mindset, rather than the actual swapping of partners. In that sense many singles are definitely swingers.
Personally I think being a swinger is about your mindset towards sex as opposed to the logistics. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I don't identify as a swinger. I guess I have the right mindset (ish, big ish ) and I enjoy sex with others and my partners to be doing the same.
But for some reason the term has never really fitted for me. Maybe it's how I approach those I meet and the "relationships" I form with them, I'm not sure. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I don't identify as a swinger. I guess I have the right mindset (ish, big ish ) and I enjoy sex with others and my partners to be doing the same.
But for some reason the term has never really fitted for me. Maybe it's how I approach those I meet and the "relationships" I form with them, I'm not sure."
Over the conversations that we've had, I would typify you more as poly. That's if a label had to be applied |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What makes a person a swinger? Do you define yourself as a swinger? Is it part of who you are, or is it just where you find yourself at this point in your life?
I'm particularly interested in single people's take on this, bit easier to define as a couple I think. If you're single now but were to get into a relationship, would you still swing?
Yours interestedly,
Mrs TMN x "
Tried swinging whilst I was a couple. When I separated I dated for a while and found that I missed the swinging. Answer was to date a swinger lol. We play together and separately. We were supposed to be fwb but is as developed into more. But we both want our freedom to do what we want to do. |
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For me I consider swinging to be a branch of ethical non-monogamy. Therefore I think a single can be a swinger if their intention is to have sex with multiple people in a way that is open, honest and ethical. While of course single people can arrange casual sex through other ways like dating apps, in my experience expectations simply just don't get spoken about and then you end up with situations where someone may have an expectation of things progressing to exclusivity or being unaware that the other person is sleeping with other people too. |
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"For me I consider swinging to be a branch of ethical non-monogamy. Therefore I think a single can be a swinger if their intention is to have sex with multiple people in a way that is open, honest and ethical. While of course single people can arrange casual sex through other ways like dating apps, in my experience expectations simply just don't get spoken about and then you end up with situations where someone may have an expectation of things progressing to exclusivity or being unaware that the other person is sleeping with other people too."
Yes.
I also think the idea of no emotional complication is naive (responding in general). It's to be strived towards of course, but shit happens and needs to be worked through. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’d say what makes someone a swinger is the mindset and attitude to sex. At the end of the day, you shouldn’t really label the lifestyle as it’s ever evolving.
As a couple we get frowned upon sometimes as we don’t like to “full swing” or partner swap. We are more interested in hot wife scenarios and play with single men. There’s a lot of trust involved with swinging whether that’s of your partner or also the people you swing with.
Both my partner and I have been married to other people but longed for multiple partners which neither of our previous spouses embraced. At this point in time, we are loving the lifestyle and are fully open to adventures that come out way. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"I don't identify as a swinger. I guess I have the right mindset (ish, big ish ) and I enjoy sex with others and my partners to be doing the same.
But for some reason the term has never really fitted for me. Maybe it's how I approach those I meet and the "relationships" I form with them, I'm not sure.
Over the conversations that we've had, I would typify you more as poly. That's if a label had to be applied "
How could you type such a thing Tea?  I am appalled. No, it's something I'm coming to terms with. Like being pan doesn't mean I want to fuck every person I talk to, being poly doesn't mean I want romantic relationships with any and everyone. It's more than possible for me to have "casual" sex with someone.
It takes a special accent for me to consider more. |
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"I don't identify as a swinger. I guess I have the right mindset (ish, big ish ) and I enjoy sex with others and my partners to be doing the same.
But for some reason the term has never really fitted for me. Maybe it's how I approach those I meet and the "relationships" I form with them, I'm not sure.
Over the conversations that we've had, I would typify you more as poly. That's if a label had to be applied
How could you type such a thing Tea? I am appalled. No, it's something I'm coming to terms with. Like being pan doesn't mean I want to fuck every person I talk to, being poly doesn't mean I want romantic relationships with any and everyone. It's more than possible for me to have "casual" sex with someone.
It takes a special accent for me to consider more. "
Ugh this! People think because I identify as poly that I fall in love with every single person I have sex with . |
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I know you wanted to hear mainly from singles, but I was at this before the good lady and I got together, so thought I'd answer.
I don't think of myself as a swinger, as much as non-monogamous. The latter is definitely part of my identity. I could never sign-up to an exclusive monogamous relationship. Yikes!
- Rob
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"I know you wanted to hear mainly from singles, but I was at this before the good lady and I got together, so thought I'd answer.
I don't think of myself as a swinger, as much as non-monogamous. The latter is definitely part of my identity. I could never sign-up to an exclusive monogamous relationship. Yikes!
- Rob
"
Thanks Rob What's the difference between the two, then, in your eyes? |
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"Thanks Rob What's the difference between the two, then, in your eyes? "
I think swinging is just about sex whilst in a committed relationship, or with a committed couple. (I know the social side is important to some, but that's not the actual point, is it?)
I think I am more interested in how I think about relationships, sex and all the rest. We are both flirty and promiscuous. And always will be. It's feasible that one of us would start another relationship at some point, but we're not looking for it.
We simply don't believe in monogamy (for us). |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I don't identify as a swinger. I guess I have the right mindset (ish, big ish ) and I enjoy sex with others and my partners to be doing the same.
But for some reason the term has never really fitted for me. Maybe it's how I approach those I meet and the "relationships" I form with them, I'm not sure.
Over the conversations that we've had, I would typify you more as poly. That's if a label had to be applied
How could you type such a thing Tea? I am appalled. No, it's something I'm coming to terms with. Like being pan doesn't mean I want to fuck every person I talk to, being poly doesn't mean I want romantic relationships with any and everyone. It's more than possible for me to have "casual" sex with someone.
It takes a special accent for me to consider more. "
After a fairly recent chat, I reframed my assumptions on what being poly means. As Lacey Red stated, it doesn't mean falling in love with every person you meet, as I understand it, it's just an open approach to deeper connections, if they happen. |
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"What makes a person a swinger? Do you define yourself as a swinger? Is it part of who you are, or is it just where you find yourself at this point in your life?
I'm particularly interested in single people's take on this, bit easier to define as a couple I think. If you're single now but were to get into a relationship, would you still swing?
Yours interestedly,
Mrs TMN x "
Really interesting question OP
I'm single so I guess I'm not a swinger in the truest sense of the term but I adore meeting new people and sharing sexual experiences. Should I find a guy that I'd like to be in a relationship with, it would only work for me if we can swing together and separately. x |
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"I think it's more defined by the way you think than what you do. I know guys and girls that use "swipe-right" apps that have more no strings sex than I do, but they wouldn't define themselves as swingers.
Theres something honest about a swingers site (and yes I know there is lots of dishonesty on here), in that you clearly state what you are looking for without the rules and restrictions of the apps, you can be completely clear about your situation, what activities you enjoy and what you are looking for, in other words you have complete freedom to express yourself.
So weirdly that's what I think makes a swinger, someone that has the freedom to articulate what they want and are unabashed and unashamed to state it.
I don't think that's weird. So it's how you think rather than what you do? That strikes a chord with me.
For me, yes, being a swinger is a "state of mind". There are men and women out there that have a different partner every weekend, but they would look in horror if you suggested they were in effect "swinging", but that's if you define swinging as an act and then further put stipulations on that (i.e. wife-swapping).
For me being a swinger is being a hedonist, pursuing pleasure in its physical form with people that are likewise inclined, never expecting more from your partner of the moment to respect the boundaries that you have clearly articulated."
Totally identify with the hedonistic and pleasure seeking aspects, that is very much me!
I once described a fab friend of mine as an old school hippy. Sounds like the same kinda vibe. Thank you x |
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"For me I consider swinging to be a branch of ethical non-monogamy. Therefore I think a single can be a swinger if their intention is to have sex with multiple people in a way that is open, honest and ethical. While of course single people can arrange casual sex through other ways like dating apps, in my experience expectations simply just don't get spoken about and then you end up with situations where someone may have an expectation of things progressing to exclusivity or being unaware that the other person is sleeping with other people too."
What exactly do you mean by ethical? Being open and upfront with everyone concerned? |
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"For me I consider swinging to be a branch of ethical non-monogamy. Therefore I think a single can be a swinger if their intention is to have sex with multiple people in a way that is open, honest and ethical. While of course single people can arrange casual sex through other ways like dating apps, in my experience expectations simply just don't get spoken about and then you end up with situations where someone may have an expectation of things progressing to exclusivity or being unaware that the other person is sleeping with other people too.
Yes.
I also think the idea of no emotional complication is naive (responding in general). It's to be strived towards of course, but shit happens and needs to be worked through."
Oh yes. I'm not sure I'd be able to handle my emotions if I was swinging as a single. Easier for me as a couple as there are clear emotional boundaries. |
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"I’d say what makes someone a swinger is the mindset and attitude to sex. At the end of the day, you shouldn’t really label the lifestyle as it’s ever evolving.
As a couple we get frowned upon sometimes as we don’t like to “full swing” or partner swap. We are more interested in hot wife scenarios and play with single men. There’s a lot of trust involved with swinging whether that’s of your partner or also the people you swing with.
Both my partner and I have been married to other people but longed for multiple partners which neither of our previous spouses embraced. At this point in time, we are loving the lifestyle and are fully open to adventures that come out way. "
You do things your way x |
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"I don't identify as a swinger. I guess I have the right mindset (ish, big ish ) and I enjoy sex with others and my partners to be doing the same.
But for some reason the term has never really fitted for me. Maybe it's how I approach those I meet and the "relationships" I form with them, I'm not sure.
Over the conversations that we've had, I would typify you more as poly. That's if a label had to be applied
How could you type such a thing Tea? I am appalled. No, it's something I'm coming to terms with. Like being pan doesn't mean I want to fuck every person I talk to, being poly doesn't mean I want romantic relationships with any and everyone. It's more than possible for me to have "casual" sex with someone.
It takes a special accent for me to consider more.
After a fairly recent chat, I reframed my assumptions on what being poly means. As Lacey Red stated, it doesn't mean falling in love with every person you meet, as I understand it, it's just an open approach to deeper connections, if they happen. "
I find the whole topic fascinating. People are such complex creatures. |
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"What makes a person a swinger? Do you define yourself as a swinger? Is it part of who you are, or is it just where you find yourself at this point in your life?
I'm particularly interested in single people's take on this, bit easier to define as a couple I think. If you're single now but were to get into a relationship, would you still swing?
Yours interestedly,
Mrs TMN x
Really interesting question OP
I'm single so I guess I'm not a swinger in the truest sense of the term but I adore meeting new people and sharing sexual experiences. Should I find a guy that I'd like to be in a relationship with, it would only work for me if we can swing together and separately. x"
You do you! X |
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I'm a swinger In the true sense, I think.
I enjoy sex with multiple partners (sometimes at the same time), with little emotional attachment although friendship and trust is a basic understanding.
Having had two sexual partners ongoing at the same time in "the real world", although the boundaries were laid out, one got quite upset when she found out about the other. I think that she was falling for me.
Being a swinger puts oneself into a suit of armour that is penetrable as all armour is, but still retains a sense of safety.
Once in a relationship I never swing.
If the sex is good, but the love is wrong I'll end it.
If the love is there, but the sex is shite I'll end it too. Obviously after talking out the issues as best as I can with my partner.
With regards ethics, so long as everyone is consenting, over 18, isn't getting hurt physically or emotionally then the swinging lifestyle is great.
Personally I'd rather be in a loving relationship with the right lady and not feel the need for multiple partners.
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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago
Wakefield |
The practice of offering your wife to male visitors and the exchange of spouses for the night if the male visitor brought his wife with him is ancient, it goes back to the time of hunter gatherers such as the Ovahimba in Africa the Inuit of North America, the Yanomamo of South America etc. it was a way of expanding the gene pool.
The term swingers seems to come from around the 1950s when is just meant having a good time including having sex with singles and married couples. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The practice of offering your wife to male visitors and the exchange of spouses for the night if the male visitor brought his wife with him is ancient, it goes back to the time of hunter gatherers such as the Ovahimba in Africa the Inuit of North America, the Yanomamo of South America etc. it was a way of expanding the gene pool.
The term swingers seems to come from around the 1950s when is just meant having a good time including having sex with singles and married couples."
Instantly wet reading that post.
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