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Best dad jokes please

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Would love to hear all your best dad jokes the cheeseier the better

Heres mine to start off with

Why did the beach laugh .......

Because the sea

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It’s a banned word OP

I can say cunt on a public forum but not that word

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By *exsenceCouple over a year ago

stalybridge

A man went into a hardware shop and asked for a nail

How long would you like it

I want to keep it lol

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By *enn68Man over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Two cannibals eating a clown .. 1st cannibal says " does this taste funny to you ?"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Two birds sat on a perch

One turns to the other and says ‘can you smell fish?’

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By *rincess and her FrogCouple over a year ago

congleton

I’m giving away 10 books on how to avoid confrontation.

Do you want some?....

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By *rincess and her FrogCouple over a year ago

congleton

For the clever ones

Turn root beer into beer by pouring it into a square glass

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had noBODY to go with.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Would love to hear all your best dad jokes the cheeseier the better

Heres mine to start off with

Why did the beach laugh .......

Because the sea "

Cant believe the sea we ed is band

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why did the scarecrow win a Nobel prize?

Because he was outstanding in his field

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why did the scarecrow win a Nobel prize?

Because he was outstanding in his field "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A fish swims into a wall. 'Dam!'

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By *ntrigued32Couple over a year ago

Nottingham

My wife’s dog died recently, so, as a surprise I got her another one, exactly the same,

She wasn’t very happy..... ‘what am I going to do with two dead dogs?’

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

It was really foggy so I picked up a stone and threw it at the fog

Mist

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why did the punk cross the road

Because he was stapled to the chicken

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/01/20 13:32:14]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If I tell dad jokes but I'm not a dad, does that make me a "faux pa"?

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By *rincess and her FrogCouple over a year ago

congleton

One for north of the border

Don’t run with bagpipes, you could put an aye out!

Or worse still get kilt!

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By *eeBee67Man over a year ago

Masked and Distant

Why do Norwegian ships have bar codes on them.

So when they arrive in port, they can Scandanavian

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What the definition of a prize winner farmer?

A man outstanding in his field

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why are Egyptians so unhappy.

Because they are in da Nile

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I wanted to post a joke about sodium but thought ‘Na, people won’t understand it’

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Why are pirates called pirates

Because they arrrrrrrrrr

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By *inkysexpotMan over a year ago

leeds

How do you knkw how much a chilli pepper weighs?

Give it a weigh

Give it a weigh now

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By *ed-monkeyCouple over a year ago

Hailsham

Prompted by an earlier one

16 sodium atoms walk into a bar

Followed by Batman

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By *ed-monkeyCouple over a year ago

Hailsham

"Why are Egyptians so unhappy.

Because they are in da Nile"

And why are Parisians so crazy

Cos they're in Seine

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

Put in the oven until it’s bill withers....

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