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Being fetishised....
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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How do you feel about it?
Love it? Hate it?
Are you happy to be sought after because you have a certain trait or skill or interest?
Do you like to be seen as a person first and BBW, unicorn, cuck, stocking lover, etc after
Tell me.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you feel about it?
Love it? Hate it?
Are you happy to be sought after because you have a certain trait or skill or interest?
Do you like to be seen as a person first and BBW, unicorn, cuck, stocking lover, etc after
Tell me.... "
That's my niche baby! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not really into labels, other than my name or ocassional goddess..
In all seriousness, of course I want to be wanted for being just me, however maybe just me isn't always exciting enough. For the right person, it will be but also for that person, I'm willing (at times) to be that fantasy.
On some levels that says a lot about my insecurities, but ultimately I'm just a pleaser, I like to give and see reactions. So long as I enjoy it, then why not indulge it |
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By *VineMan
over a year ago
The right place |
"Dont call me an older woman 
In the autumn of your life?
 just a little less springy chicken still"
Rubbery chicken!! That’s a new fetish!
But you’ll always be a younger woman to me!! |
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"I’m not too bothered really, I would rather be with someone who appreciates my size than someone just pretending to if that makes sense  "
Kind of agree, but if someone isn't interested in me and is only interested in my fat then I find it a turn-off.
It's good when I meet someone who genuinely finds me arousing, but I'm more than just the size of my arse. |
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"How do you feel about it?
Love it? Hate it?
Are you happy to be sought after because you have a certain trait or skill or interest?
Do you like to be seen as a person first and BBW, unicorn, cuck, stocking lover, etc after
Tell me.... "
Great topic chick!
The thing is, sites like these just inherently objectify persons- the labels come with it like the examples you gave and therefore how easy it is to be fetishised- based on that info or pics. Even where you can manage your pics on profile, you can choose certain categories they fall into or the sexual interests ticked on a profile. So it’s just part of the territory, not really bothered by it.
Considering it’s a hook up site that would probably be the first/easiest thing most would look for- “do you fall within the label/category I/we like” to progress conversations meets etc; fairly or unfairly. We combine them but try to ensure we balance our attraction (or whatever label that tickles or fancy) with person and their personality etc (hence why socials are important for us).
All an inexact science surely and depends on who you are and what you like; what you’re looking for or will tolerate.
Great thread! |
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It depends on who by a little for me too.
I get fetishized by men all to often and when your profile says I'm not into men at all it can be annoying as you know they've not even bothered to look and find out you're also a person.
Women are entirely different in how they do it as they talk to the person first and done that way it can be lovely.
That sort of fetishizing I'm happy to be the subject of as it's also coming from a learning and finding out about you and your quirks rather than just getting laid. |
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I think it depends on how it comes across, someone saying they have a thing for redheads and explain why can be kind of nice.
However, conversations which start as I've never had a redhead, typically followed by if I keeps my pubic hair or not, erm hello I am a person thank you. |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
I get a lot of men message me wanting to meet so they can lick or wank into my armpit hair. But they’re pretty open about that.
I just say no.
I’m more than just a fluffy set of armpits goddamnit! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's a convenient short hand.
I don't have an issue with being classed as a bbw. I prefer people who are attracted to me because they like larger women rather than someone just after sex.
We all have our preferences/ fetishes. Mine is for men with beards and larger ladies x  |
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"People want to spunk on my specs  
They're very disappointed when I say I usually wear contacts. Short sightedness is sexy apparently. "
Oh fuck. No it's not hot. I'm blind.
And you can clean the fuckers mate. |
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Interesting topic! As a straight, cisgender white British meal you can imagine how marginalised I am, so obviously I'm an expert on this...
Seriously though. I'm too... ORDINARY to be fetishised generally I think. If people want to fetishise me because I have a beard or tattoos, that's okay by me, crack on. But those things are a choice, a conscious decision I made. If I had 'protected characteristics' though, say for example I was in a position that somebody had a fetish for me because of my race, or a disability, that sort of thing... I dunno about that. That seems kind of uncomfortable and not very appropriate, you know? |
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"Interesting topic! As a straight, cisgender white British meal you can imagine how marginalised I am, so obviously I'm an expert on this...
Seriously though. I'm too... ORDINARY to be fetishised generally I think. If people want to fetishise me because I have a beard or tattoos, that's okay by me, crack on. But those things are a choice, a conscious decision I made. If I had 'protected characteristics' though, say for example I was in a position that somebody had a fetish for me because of my race, or a disability, that sort of thing... I dunno about that. That seems kind of uncomfortable and not very appropriate, you know? "
Yes. Very much. I'm not sure if my stuff falls into protected characteristics, although it might. It's definitely stuff I can't do anything about. To be minding my own business and have someone turn something innocuous and non sexual about me into a kink... For me it's fucking gross to be honest. |
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"Dont call me an older woman
This when being messaged by someone 25 and I am only 5 years older than them. That’s just rude!! "
Oh god yes. 28 year old guy, love to be with an old lady blah blah. Piss off! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a bi transvestite (essentially a single bi Male dressed up) I guess the contacts I get are primarily fetish based. I see posts from single guys discussing their difficulties, and I have to say I have no complaints about my fab success. The primary difference is the dressing I suppose. It is primarily fetish motivated for me so I am fine with peoples interactions with me being based on the same. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a bi transvestite (essentially a single bi Male dressed up) I guess the contacts I get are primarily fetish based. I see posts from single guys discussing their difficulties, and I have to say I have no complaints about my fab success. The primary difference is the dressing I suppose. It is primarily fetish motivated for me so I am fine with peoples interactions with me being based on the same."
#note to self ... try not to over use the word primarily # |
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It's hard not to be seen as a label on here, bbw, unicorn, older, when it is just pictures and text that is seen first. I'm more than just a label but me as a person doesn't come through until you talk to me through messaging x |
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I think there is a difference between fetishizing certain characteristics and being attracted to certain things, although in can be a tricky thing to distinguish! For example, I've had a lot of guys say "you look so innocent" and tell me how hot they find the "Mum next door" thing. I wouldn't count that as a fetish, unless it was their sole topic of conversation and they weren't interested in anything else about me.
Mrs TMN x |
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"I think there is a difference between fetishizing certain characteristics and being attracted to certain things, although in can be a tricky thing to distinguish! For example, I've had a lot of guys say "you look so innocent" and tell me how hot they find the "Mum next door" thing. I wouldn't count that as a fetish, unless it was their sole topic of conversation and they weren't interested in anything else about me.
Mrs TMN x"
Yeah the creepy fixation is a clue. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think there is a difference between fetishizing certain characteristics and being attracted to certain things, although in can be a tricky thing to distinguish! For example, I've had a lot of guys say "you look so innocent" and tell me how hot they find the "Mum next door" thing. I wouldn't count that as a fetish, unless it was their sole topic of conversation and they weren't interested in anything else about me.
Mrs TMN x
Yeah the creepy fixation is a clue."
I love swing dresses. Do you wear swing dresses all the time? They are so sexy dont you agree? How many swing dresses you got?
.
That sort of thing? |
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"I think there is a difference between fetishizing certain characteristics and being attracted to certain things, although in can be a tricky thing to distinguish! For example, I've had a lot of guys say "you look so innocent" and tell me how hot they find the "Mum next door" thing. I wouldn't count that as a fetish, unless it was their sole topic of conversation and they weren't interested in anything else about me.
Mrs TMN x
Yeah the creepy fixation is a clue.
I love swing dresses. Do you wear swing dresses all the time? They are so sexy dont you agree? How many swing dresses you got?
.
That sort of thing?"
Bet I could fuck you in one. Cover it in cum. Oh you look so innocent, wow the skirt hits the knee, and I'm going to take you oh baby oh baby.
Yeah. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think there is a difference between fetishizing certain characteristics and being attracted to certain things, although in can be a tricky thing to distinguish! For example, I've had a lot of guys say "you look so innocent" and tell me how hot they find the "Mum next door" thing. I wouldn't count that as a fetish, unless it was their sole topic of conversation and they weren't interested in anything else about me.
Mrs TMN x
Yeah the creepy fixation is a clue.
I love swing dresses. Do you wear swing dresses all the time? They are so sexy dont you agree? How many swing dresses you got?
.
That sort of thing?
Bet I could fuck you in one. Cover it in cum. Oh you look so innocent, wow the skirt hits the knee, and I'm going to take you oh baby oh baby.
Yeah."
I think I have just cum  |
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"It's hard not to be seen as a label on here, bbw, unicorn, older, when it is just pictures and text that is seen first. I'm more than just a label but me as a person doesn't come through until you talk to me through messaging x"
I fight with labels .
Been given many .
Mostly from people making false assumptions based on lack or incorrect information , inability to ask makes them jump to conclusions.
|
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Is fetishising when a person takes it too far and has an obsession with size or hair colour or feet for example. Does that differ from a person who likes different qualities in different people. Some men like bigger girls but being a feeder is a bit extreme I think. Fetishising sounds quite extreme to me. |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"Is fetishising when a person takes it too far and has an obsession with size or hair colour or feet for example. Does that differ from a person who likes different qualities in different people. Some men like bigger girls but being a feeder is a bit extreme I think. Fetishising sounds quite extreme to me."
Bloody hell, never thought I'd see the day when we agreed on something |
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"Is fetishising when a person takes it too far and has an obsession with size or hair colour or feet for example. Does that differ from a person who likes different qualities in different people. Some men like bigger girls but being a feeder is a bit extreme I think. Fetishising sounds quite extreme to me.
Bloody hell, never thought I'd see the day when we agreed on something "
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I have a fetish for women in high heels but but doesn't matter if the girls are busty, slim, larger, red or blonde. Am I fetishising the woman or the shoes? And women in rubber and PVC..
Not sure .. |
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"Is fetishising when a person takes it too far and has an obsession with size or hair colour or feet for example. Does that differ from a person who likes different qualities in different people. Some men like bigger girls but being a feeder is a bit extreme I think. Fetishising sounds quite extreme to me."
Maybe it's not a fetishism in the part of the men who talk to me about red hair, but maybe objectification? Some come across as though I'm something to cross off their list, I've never had a redhead is a common one. You're correct fetishism is more extreme than that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Isn't everyone sought after because they have traits or skills or some indefinable quality that attracts another?
That seems a long way from fetishising, doesnt it?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not hugely bothered, whether it's because I have tattoos, a big butt, long hair, will play as a unicorn or whatever, they're all aspect of who I am- as long as I'm seen as a person rather than only one of these features that's what's important. |
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I think the line for me is where it's only X characteristic that matters.
Not, I like Swing for a bunch of reasons including (fetish).
But omg, (fetish). I've never had one of those! That's so hot I have to have you! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think the line for me is where it's only X characteristic that matters.
Not, I like Swing for a bunch of reasons including (fetish).
But omg, (fetish). I've never had one of those! That's so hot I have to have you!"
I have recently developed a fetish for swing dresses  |
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"I think the line for me is where it's only X characteristic that matters.
Not, I like Swing for a bunch of reasons including (fetish).
But omg, (fetish). I've never had one of those! That's so hot I have to have you!
I have recently developed a fetish for swing dresses "
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when people tell me that older women "know what they want and how to get it" 