FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > How should I play this...thoughts and opinions please.
How should I play this...thoughts and opinions please.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Right so randomly added a guy that popped up on my people you may know suggestion thing on Facebook. This was just before new year’s eve. I then inboxed him when he accepted saying I just added you cos I think you’re fit. Been talking to him on Facebook messenger for the last week, nothing rude (until Saturday when I was horny due to the full moon) I sent him my profile pic. He was like oh my god that you, blah blah blah. Things got flirty/rude. He’s 39, no kids, single and been single for two years (read through his Facebook posts) some from his family robbing him about being gay as he’s been single so long so his relationship status is legit single.
Anyway he gives me his number so was WhatsApp, he was sending pictures of himself, I sent more cos I’m used to being on here and just sending pictures. He was saying he wants to fuck now blah blah blah but kept apologising saying he’s never done this whole sending pictures thing but he said he was feeling so horny. Been speaking since and he’s said about meeting but wants to take me out first said he doesn’t want me thinking he’s a pervert that just wants a shag. Said he’s a tidy guy and I seem like a nice girl and he said we should just have a laugh and see where it goes.
Now have I fucked it before we’ve even met purely because of my approach? Our chat since Saturday has been normal, asking about my day and what I do for a living and showing me pics of his dog, he said save all the rude chat for Friday and apologised for how he was Saturday but I got him feeling horny with the pics.
I said I’d go out with him Friday but didn’t want to go back to his and didn’t want anyone coming to mine cos of my neighbours and don’t want them seeing a guy come here so I said to get a hotel where we’re gonna be going out.
Just go and fuck him Friday and just see how it goes but keep my emotions in check, like not expect anything other than a fuck to come from it, that’s the best way forward for me do you think? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You’re selling yourself short by not having the conversation with him about what he’s looking for. Just chill out and talk to him on Friday and see what he’s looking for long term |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I think you're over thinking things"
I agree.
People do send nudes to each other away from fab, all you've done is drive the conversation in a particular direction.
The question in this is not so much what he wants from this (although that's valid) it's also a question of what do you want from it too.
I've often thought that you're very reactive in how you behave. Rather than actually thinking what you want from a situation, you're often guided by the other person. There are always two people, so knowing what you want will guide your actions. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Take it on its merits , sometimes less is more and if you want a relationship you need to find out if you click with more than just physical attraction.
Looks fade but souls don't I believe that there's something special out there for everyone it's just we have find them.
Hope it works out op  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This post makes me think I've been using Facebook wrong all this time 
To be honest the guy must really like you if he's decided to slow things down (or he might be reverse gaming you). Just go and enjoy it |
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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago
Whitley Bay |
All sounds great to me. It's totally possible to be clear you're both enjoying the sexual nature of it and it sounds like there's some warmth and realness to it too. If this approach is new to him he will be feeling like the cat who got the cream! Go with the flow and enjoy x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Let me get the important messages that may give clues to his intent. They’re Facebook and WhatsApp messages from someone who’s not even a member here and I’ll just write key points not verbatim.
Bare in mind this guys 39, been single 2 years not had sexual for a year cos he said he’s fussy and just not been interested. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From your intro to this thread he seems to have the qualities of an old fashioned gentleman with wanting to take you out and have a 'social' before anything else, the naughty chat added excitement and possibilities for how things may progress after you do meet but take into consideration that, if he's been single for two years and not had a sexual partner for a long period of time, it may be better to naturally let it progress to that stage as the prospect of it may be something that makes him nervous/anxious.
As another person stated, it's good to know what you want to come from this, but also to know what he wants, ensuring you are both on the same page. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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He’s said definitely up for something more.
Said at least let me take you out for food or drinks first, don’t want you thinking I just want a shag.
I want a shag though, also think a hotel is a good shout cos it’s not my home where I chill and relax in so it’s less personal. Plus I’ll go into it only thinking I’ll get a shag out of it and just try and wow him with my personality.
Also he’s said he wants to lick my fanny so I’m just eating clementines and cucumbers until Friday and drinking two cups of coffee with MCT oil a day and two litres of water so my Fanny’s not kicking off a pong when he mops me out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He’s said definitely up for something more.
Said at least let me take you out for food or drinks first, don’t want you thinking I just want a shag.
I want a shag though, also think a hotel is a good shout cos it’s not my home where I chill and relax in so it’s less personal. Plus I’ll go into it only thinking I’ll get a shag out of it and just try and wow him with my personality.
Also he’s said he wants to lick my fanny so I’m just eating clementines and cucumbers until Friday and drinking two cups of coffee with MCT oil a day and two litres of water so my Fanny’s not kicking off a pong when he mops me out. "
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"He might also be a little intimidated by you sexually. He might have inferred you are more experienced than he is and is now getting cold feet. "
Or he's a bloke who wants something a bit more than sex. I've heard they do exist  |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"...Also he’s said he wants to lick my fanny so I’m just eating clementines and cucumbers until Friday and drinking two cups of coffee with MCT oil a day and two litres of water so my Fanny’s not kicking off a pong when he mops me out. "
If you could do a fanny prep thread again that would be great. How does MCT oil help?
Just go, enjoy it for what it is. Don't close yourself off to anything by overthinking or presuming. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He might also be a little intimidated by you sexually. He might have inferred you are more experienced than he is and is now getting cold feet.
Or he's a bloke who wants something a bit more than sex. I've heard they do exist "
I wouldn't say it was cold feet, he's still texting and wants to meet up. I agree he may be a bit intimidated but then I think that could be exciting for him too.
As nicecouple said he could be looking for more and wants to get to know you properly, he seems to be keen for you to see him as a nice guy and that can only be a good thing.
Just go and see what happens. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Nah apart from the pictures which were just my tits not hippos yawn, I’ve been pretty tame on the old sexy chat.
Like he’s said what kind of stuff am I into and I said just nice sex and that I’ll probably be shit cos I’m out of practice (which is true) always under promise and over deliver.
Like I could’ve said I’m a somnophiliac who also has a medical fetish, who likes to tongue fuck an arse hole, and have my cheeks squeezed whilst someone pisses in my mouth and like to suffocate guys with my cunt as they sleep and look down to watch them struggling to breath but I’ve kept all that under my hat, he’s said I sound like a really nice sweet girl. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Like I could’ve said I’m a somnophiliac who also has a medical fetish, who likes to tongue fuck an arse hole, and have my cheeks squeezed whilst someone pisses in my mouth and like to suffocate guys with my cunt as they sleep and look down to watch them struggling to breath but I’ve kept all that under my hat, he’s said I sound like a really nice sweet girl. "
Ah, I assumed you said all those things. Crisis averted then, you'll be OK. He isn't intimidated |
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"...Also he’s said he wants to lick my fanny so I’m just eating clementines and cucumbers until Friday and drinking two cups of coffee with MCT oil a day and two litres of water so my Fanny’s not kicking off a pong when he mops me out.
If you could do a fanny prep thread again that would be great. How does MCT oil help?
Just go, enjoy it for what it is. Don't close yourself off to anything by overthinking or presuming."
That sort of fanny prep is old hat now, it’s all feng shui these days.
Arrange your bits and pieces to maximise the flow of energy forces and ensure the Chinese dragon has room to swing his tail. Welsh dragons are very similar so you’re halfway there.
Go out, have sex if you want, talk through what you want afterwards. Don’t overthink it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"...Also he’s said he wants to lick my fanny so I’m just eating clementines and cucumbers until Friday and drinking two cups of coffee with MCT oil a day and two litres of water so my Fanny’s not kicking off a pong when he mops me out.
If you could do a fanny prep thread again that would be great. How does MCT oil help?
Just go, enjoy it for what it is. Don't close yourself off to anything by overthinking or presuming."
MCT oil is for fast fat loss. Wouldn’t recommend what I’m eating long term but 5 day cleanse is not too bad, people fast for longer. I’ll lose water weight, 7lbs probably which will help me feel better naked. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nah apart from the pictures which were just my tits not hippos yawn, I’ve been pretty tame on the old sexy chat.
Like he’s said what kind of stuff am I into and I said just nice sex and that I’ll probably be shit cos I’m out of practice (which is true) always under promise and over deliver.
Like I could’ve said I’m a somnophiliac who also has a medical fetish, who likes to tongue fuck an arse hole, and have my cheeks squeezed whilst someone pisses in my mouth and like to suffocate guys with my cunt as they sleep and look down to watch them struggling to breath but I’ve kept all that under my hat, he’s said I sound like a really nice sweet girl. "
That actually made me piss  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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He sounds a really nice guy but just with a much lower sex drive and a bit reserved... if you don't get anywhere with him could you give me his number ... sounds like the kind of guy i want going out with my sister.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He sounds a really nice guy but just with a much lower sex drive and a bit reserved... if you don't get anywhere with him could you give me his number ... sounds like the kind of guy i want going out with my sister.. "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Right well I haven’t heard off him today but he booked the room yesterday and screen shot the confirmation so I shouldn’t be negative I suppose. Can’t help it, it’s default setting! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Are you sure your 36"
Yeah. I just have a bit of a shit time with my self esteem after a traumatic event that took my strength and confidence. Left me very pessimistic and suspicious of people.
I try and know the outcome of things before they happen so I question everything. |
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By *onty1971Man
over a year ago
London St Helier Trier |
On Fab there are plenty of as one Lady out 'fuckers'they see your profile and think (ok perhaps not) they want that....
Then there are the 'Swingers'on here who see if there is a match, read profile, check your interests and write a personalised message.
The dockers will reinforce that all men want a fuck and go.
Gents do exist. Can be Swingers too. This Chap could be a Gent who is randy right now and could be more to things. Take Friday night as it is and see how things go from there.
Have Fun. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Take it on its merits , sometimes less is more and if you want a relationship you need to find out if you click with more than just physical attraction.
Looks fade but souls don't I believe that there's something special out there for everyone it's just we have find them.
Hope it works out op "
That's so sweet. Melted my heart a little x |
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"Are you sure your 36
Yeah. I just have a bit of a shit time with my self esteem after a traumatic event that took my strength and confidence. Left me very pessimistic and suspicious of people.
I try and know the outcome of things before they happen so I question everything. "
You may well already be doing this, but I think some therapy and learning coping techniques would be better than asking random fabs people (unless that is a coping technique that works for you!). |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Nah apart from the pictures which were just my tits not hippos yawn, I’ve been pretty tame on the old sexy chat.
Like he’s said what kind of stuff am I into and I said just nice sex and that I’ll probably be shit cos I’m out of practice (which is true) always under promise and over deliver.
Like I could’ve said I’m a somnophiliac who also has a medical fetish, who likes to tongue fuck an arse hole, and have my cheeks squeezed whilst someone pisses in my mouth and like to suffocate guys with my cunt as they sleep and look down to watch them struggling to breath but I’ve kept all that under my hat, he’s said I sound like a really nice sweet girl. "
I've missed threads like this. Good to see some things haven't changed.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think you're over thinking things
I agree.
People do send nudes to each other away from fab, all you've done is drive the conversation in a particular direction.
The question in this is not so much what he wants from this (although that's valid) it's also a question of what do you want from it too.
I've often thought that you're very reactive in how you behave. Rather than actually thinking what you want from a situation, you're often guided by the other person. There are always two people, so knowing what you want will guide your actions. "
Yeah chill out OP.
Sounds like you are going to eat the poor guy alive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You are overthinking things and making things overly complicated.
But it's a date. Go on it. Fuck him. Don't fuck him. Just see what happens and stop double guessing every scenario |
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