FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Put up and shut up or get up and go.
Put up and shut up or get up and go.
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"I won't be meeting him again, I didn't like the way he played with my clit"
"We made our excuses and left, he was too rough with my nipples"
How ever those sentences end, I have never really understood the peopole who don't say anything whilst whatever it is they don't enjoy is happening.
I guess we all have our own way of dealing with things.
Do you attempt to instruct or attempt to do a runner?
How confident are you to say something just isn't working for you and for them to try a different method?
Do you just hint or get the chalk board out? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I'm comfortable enough to be fucking someone, I'd certainly be comfortable enough to tell him when I didn't like something  also if they look like they don't like something I'm doing I'll either change it or simply ask 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i dont instruct as such! more along the lines of, 'mmm thats nice but go a little faster' or 'mmm nice, but your teeth keep getting in the way'. said that once and she took her feckin teeth out and put em in her drawer!! lol. (nice gam job tho)  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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initially when we started out i did put up a little bit but now i most certainly say don't see the point in putting up with something but it was a lesson learnt after bruised nipples from a rough guy now i will always say |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The one and only time I felt uncomfortable was when someome suddenly got a little too rough. He was told to calm down. When he didn't he was asked not to politely to leave. He did. You should never put up with anything you don't like.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
"it doesn't need words
body language and reaction is enough to tell me whether i am doing something the other person likes or doesn't"
I agree with this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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depends how i feel when i am with someone, usually i would say something, only sometimes i might feel a bit intimidated by someone and feel too nervous to say anything, afterwards i feel annoyed with myself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
"I won't be meeting him again, I didn't like the way he played with my clit"
"We made our excuses and left, he was too rough with my nipples"
How ever those sentences end, I have never really understood the peopole who don't say anything whilst whatever it is they don't enjoy is happening.
I guess we all have our own way of dealing with things.
Do you attempt to instruct or attempt to do a runner?
How confident are you to say something just isn't working for you and for them to try a different method?
Do you just hint or get the chalk board out?"
Once you've been randomly pissed on the damage's done  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are ways to let them know you don't like something mid sex, as someone has pointed out body language should work, change position, stop them with your hand or say something |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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if somebody is hurting me i will tell then, i have no problem with that
If someone is just not doing things to my liking but not hurting me but just not really doing it the way i like, sometimes i will say, sometimes i just leave them to it as some guys can get very offended if you suggest they may not know how to please a woman 
Young guys are as a rule ok and they will take guiding and constructive criticism i find older guys cant as they already think they know it all so i would just leave them to it and not meet them again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"but surely people are watching how their partners are reacting to see if they are both enjoying what they are doing?"
that dont always work tho, ive done it a few times where a guys gone down on me and ive not been enjoying it so ive played upto him and faked ive cum to make him stop
not saying thats the right things to do but sometimes i just think its easier than trying to explain to someone who dont know how to please you what to do, i cant enjoy oral if im dishing out instructions either so what the point  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends really but most instances can be solved without either party losing face.
Say for example if a lady happened to bite my pride and joy (not in the cheeky pleasurable nibble sense) whilst gobbling me up then I might say, but in a manner that indicated it was slightly uncomfortable, "Mmmmm, not so rough".
She would then probably look up to gauge my reaction and I would smile sweetly and say "You can't help being a sexy little animalistic minx though can you?"....
Make a point while turning a possible negative into a positive. Its a lot easier, less frustrating and more fun in the long run. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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lets face it, not one single person on this site will know what their partner enjoys if its a first meet so there is an excuse for that, but if you dont let the person know what you enjoy/dont enjoy then there will be no improvement and hence no 2nd meet! the best part of meeting a gal for the first time is the sexual exploration that can be had by both parties! but thats just my opinion,  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"lets face it, not one single person on this site will know what their partner enjoys if its a first meet so there is an excuse for that, but if you dont let the person know what you enjoy/dont enjoy then there will be no improvement and hence no 2nd meet! the best part of meeting a gal for the first time is the sexual exploration that can be had by both parties! but thats just my opinion, "
I'm sorry but it don't quite compute that way for me.
If someone snogs like the final spin on a washing machine, or like they're licking the dog bowl out then fine, if they hug you like a convulsing octopus trying to drag itself back into the oggy off od dry land - again equally fine, if they shag like the crankarm on an agricultural diesel engine then just great...
...only don't expect me not to make a noise about it!
Wolf
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Say for example if a lady happened to bite my pride and joy (not in the cheeky pleasurable nibble sense) whilst gobbling me up then I might say, but in a manner that indicated it was slightly uncomfortable, "Mmmmm, not so rough".
She would then probably look up to gauge my reaction and I would smile sweetly and say "You can't help being a sexy little animalistic minx though can you?"....
"
haha your such a smooth talking gent arntcha lol
sorry but if someone bit me while down there i would simply get up and leave
I had one guy bite my nipple once, i ALWAYS without exception tell people i play with not to be rough with my nipples, they are so sensative they hurt so very easy, i do love having them played with but i find very few guys play with nipples without biting or twisting them hard, so i do say if you cant be gentle id sooner you leave them alone, anyway he bite one of them and without saying a word i got up, dressed and left, end of no second chance
im such a stroppy teenager at heart lmao |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"lets face it, not one single person on this site will know what their partner enjoys if its a first meet so there is an excuse for that, but if you dont let the person know what you enjoy/dont enjoy then there will be no improvement and hence no 2nd meet! the best part of meeting a gal for the first time is the sexual exploration that can be had by both parties! but thats just my opinion,
I'm sorry but it don't quite compute that way for me.
If someone snogs like the final spin on a washing machine, or like they're licking the dog bowl out then fine, if they hug you like a convulsing octopus trying to drag itself back into the oggy off od dry land - again equally fine, if they shag like the crankarm on an agricultural diesel engine then just great...
...only don't expect me not to make a noise about it!
Wolf
"
erm, didnt i say 'if you dont let them know'? my whole point was that of course there is going to be something that either party doesnt enjoy/enjoys a lot! if its a first meet, how does the partner know you enjoy your nipples nibbled on gently or the back of your neck lightly kissed unless you let him/her know! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well I like things gentle and sensual and I don't like rough sex or having my boobs manhandled roughly and that information is stated at the messaging stage.
If someone touches me a little roughly I will say no, or my OH does as he is intently watching and will often say 'nice and gentle' to the guys. He also tells them how I like things during play. This may be interpreted as him being a little directional but its our play too and we do what works for us.
I always say no to things that I don't want ie, if a guy goes anywhere near my bottom to insert a finger etc. Its never bothered me saying no. |
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"Well I like things gentle and sensual and I don't like rough sex or having my boobs manhandled roughly and that information is stated at the messaging stage.
If someone touches me a little roughly I will say no, or my OH does as he is intently watching and will often say 'nice and gentle' to the guys. He also tells them how I like things during play. This may be interpreted as him being a little directional but its our play too and we do what works for us.
I always say no to things that I don't want ie, if a guy goes anywhere near my bottom to insert a finger etc. Its never bothered me saying no. "
now i often like my bottom played with, but i take great offence when guys start licking a finger and prepare to slip it in without checking if i'm not in the mood for it its a turn off so if you're hoping that once its in i'll let you carry on then you might be in for a shock!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I'm comfortable enough to be fucking someone, I'd certainly be comfortable enough to tell him when I didn't like something also if they look like they don't like something I'm doing I'll either change it or simply ask
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I always try and make sure my meet is happy and comfortable with what I am doing and always ask(at points) if they are ok or just to say stop if I do anything they don't enjoy. My meets pleasure is paramount to me... I aim to please and satisfy  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If someone was doing something I absolutely did not like (or trying to) I wouldn't have any problems telling them to stop. If it's just that they aren't quite hitting the right spot or the like then I'll try to give direction rather than kill the mood...a bit of encouragement can give great results!! x |
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