FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Confidence knocked
Confidence knocked
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Dave.
Know your worth
Seek your own approval
Do not seek the approval of others.
Tell yourself all the good things about you and KNOW you reach your own standard.
The opinions of others are just that.... opinions.
You are great in your own right. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wish i could help you with this, but I don't really have a lot of self confidence in the first place and if I do get any it's hard to deal with having it knocked back down again by a troll or someone messing me around.
If you're a decent human being and try to be nice to people you just have to know that you're better than those who are nasty and judgemental, and be patient. Someone will come along and there will be mutual attraction.
Good luck!  |
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"How do you get over your confidence being battered all the time?
Looking for support & advice rather being knocked down any more.
Thanks"
If it's through being rejected on here i would say log off until your mind is strong enough as fab takes no prisoners on that front.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's shit when your confidence has been shattered it will take time and please take the time to heal (going through this myself right now). Your going to have good days and bad days xx |
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"Just everyone who realises I have a beard & bald head, is then not interested. Been on here just over a year & meets. I haven’t been pushy or rude. Wondering what I’m doing wrong. "
Are you absolutely being serious ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just try and present yourself the best you can. Eat healthily, get some exercise even if it’s going for a long walk. Surround yourself with people who really like you like your family and friends. Make a list of all your good qualities or even better ask a friend to do it.
Without knowing exactly what’s knocked your confidence it’s hard to advise. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just everyone who realises I have a beard & bald head, is then not interested. Been on here just over a year & meets. I haven’t been pushy or rude. Wondering what I’m doing wrong. "
Nothing, as someone said you're in an environment where disappointment is inevitable. If it affects your confidence then you've got to deal with that either by removing yourself or finding a strategy to manage it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just everyone who realises I have a beard & bald head, is then not interested. "
Might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but there are beard appreciators on here and only yesterday I saw someone commenting that they love the aforementioned combo.
It just takes time. Getting out to clubs is the most commonly recommended thing here, so if you’re not doing that, get on it. |
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"Just everyone who realises I have a beard & bald head, is then not interested. Been on here just over a year & meets. I haven’t been pushy or rude. Wondering what I’m doing wrong.
Are you absolutely being serious ?"
Yes I’m being serious |
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"Dave.
Know your worth
Seek your own approval
Do not seek the approval of others.
Tell yourself all the good things about you and KNOW you reach your own standard.
The opinions of others are just that.... opinions.
You are great in your own right. "
That is really great advice..I really like this  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you get over your confidence being battered all the time?
Looking for support & advice rather being knocked down any more.
Thanks"
You are the same as many you are equal to many stand tall |
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"Just everyone who realises I have a beard & bald head, is then not interested. Been on here just over a year & meets. I haven’t been pushy or rude. Wondering what I’m doing wrong. "
Dave? You should say to yourself....” I know I've made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal. I've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission. And I want to help you.....” |
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"How do you get over your confidence being battered all the time?
Looking for support & advice rather being knocked down any more.
Thanks"
Over the years I have had some really hurtful and nasty comments. At times I left fab alone for a few weeks then came back. Now any suck comments go straight over my head. What’s worse is the nasty rude comment followed by them blocking you before you can reply. Try not to take it to heart |
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Seriously though, I always think they’ve made a dreadful mistake and forget them. You’re just as good as anyone else. Don’t let those who say you’re not, affect you. Don’t let their negative energy get to you. Be a beacon and shine on. |
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By *arksxMan
over a year ago
Leicester / London |
"Just everyone who realises I have a beard & bald head, is then not interested. Been on here just over a year & meets. I haven’t been pushy or rude. Wondering what I’m doing wrong. "
You haven't done anything wrong.
Youve been talking to people who maybe don't like beards and bald heads.
I'm a confident guy so i I would put both front and center on my profile.
No point talking to someone who doesn't find either of those things attractive, If your aim is to meet them.
|
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"How do you get over your confidence being battered all the time?
Looking for support & advice rather being knocked down any more.
Thanks
Over the years I have had some really hurtful and nasty comments. At times I left fab alone for a few weeks then came back. Now any suck comments go straight over my head. What’s worse is the nasty rude comment followed by them blocking you before you can reply. Try not to take it to heart"
Seriously? You’re saying suck comments go over your head?  |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"How do you get over your confidence being battered all the time?
Looking for support & advice rather being knocked down any more.
Thanks"
Try not to base your self worth on the opinions of strangers, it's hard but you really need a thick skin to be on fab, it can really give you a kicking if you let it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How do you get over your confidence being battered all the time?
Looking for support & advice rather being knocked down any more.
Thanks
Over the years I have had some really hurtful and nasty comments. At times I left fab alone for a few weeks then came back. Now any suck comments go straight over my head. What’s worse is the nasty rude comment followed by them blocking you before you can reply. Try not to take it to heart"
I just don't get why someone would do that  I can kind of understand the guys who call me a fat slut because I've said no, it's pathetic but I get why they're lashing out, it makes sense. But why would you insult someone just for approaching you? it's just so inexplicably nasty and makes me so sad |
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Google hot guys beards and bald head and look at the guys on there that women find attractive then re-evaluate what exactly is hitting your confidence,look at it honestly and objectively and work out your next step.
Good luck and drive on. |
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"How do you get over your confidence being battered all the time?
Looking for support & advice rather being knocked down any more.
Thanks
Over the years I have had some really hurtful and nasty comments. At times I left fab alone for a few weeks then came back. Now any suck comments go straight over my head. What’s worse is the nasty rude comment followed by them blocking you before you can reply. Try not to take it to heart
Seriously? You’re saying suck comments go over your head? "
They do now, otherwise I would have left fab a long time ago. Not sure the nice women on fab realise that there are woman who are quite nasty |
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"How do you get over your confidence being battered all the time?
Looking for support & advice rather being knocked down any more.
Thanks
Over the years I have had some really hurtful and nasty comments. At times I left fab alone for a few weeks then came back. Now any suck comments go straight over my head. What’s worse is the nasty rude comment followed by them blocking you before you can reply. Try not to take it to heart
I just don't get why someone would do that I can kind of understand the guys who call me a fat slut because I've said no, it's pathetic but I get why they're lashing out, it makes sense. But why would you insult someone just for approaching you? it's just so inexplicably nasty and makes me so sad "
I’ve have weeks of lovely chats with ladies and then we get to the point of swapping face pics. Then had abuse such as “you’re too ugly to fuck”, it feels (or use to) so horrible and really can knock you |
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Pre empt the negative by proactively highlighting your distinguished features.
Try not to jump to a meet so quickly because if there isnt any interest in you as a person, the physical attributes will take priority. Just put your honest self in a description and stop being a snowflake
With all the best love and most warm intentions,
Saz |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How do you get over your confidence being battered all the time?
Looking for support & advice rather being knocked down any more.
Thanks
Over the years I have had some really hurtful and nasty comments. At times I left fab alone for a few weeks then came back. Now any suck comments go straight over my head. What’s worse is the nasty rude comment followed by them blocking you before you can reply. Try not to take it to heart
I just don't get why someone would do that I can kind of understand the guys who call me a fat slut because I've said no, it's pathetic but I get why they're lashing out, it makes sense. But why would you insult someone just for approaching you? it's just so inexplicably nasty and makes me so sad "
You can get that on the forums aswell. People deliberately put you down. Be careful |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just everyone who realises I have a beard & bald head, is then not interested. Been on here just over a year & meets. I haven’t been pushy or rude. Wondering what I’m doing wrong. "
Being rejected is the worst and you’re right, it does destroy your confidence.
Being bald and having a beard isn’t the worst thing. Like I said in my previous post you’ve just gotta present yourself the best you can and work with what you got.
Looking at your pics you have visceral fat (fat around your mid section) if you’re stressed you’ll produce cortisol which will make you eat sugar fatty foods and salty foods it makes your weight go straight to your mid section.
New year now so make some changes, fat loss will alter your body and your face particularly your jawline, which to me determines how hot a guy is. Don’t have to do anything major just start with walking, stroke some pets dogs or cats if you have any or know people who so cos they’ll help with stress. Cut out sugar, google keto recipes is your best bet. But that’s my advice, if you want to build your confidence back up you have to make some changes so you can feel good about yourself. When people IN THE REAL WORLD start noticing which they will in 6 weeks, you’ll start getting glances and compliments and that should help.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How do you get over your confidence being battered all the time?
Looking for support & advice rather being knocked down any more.
Thanks
Over the years I have had some really hurtful and nasty comments. At times I left fab alone for a few weeks then came back. Now any suck comments go straight over my head. What’s worse is the nasty rude comment followed by them blocking you before you can reply. Try not to take it to heart
I just don't get why someone would do that I can kind of understand the guys who call me a fat slut because I've said no, it's pathetic but I get why they're lashing out, it makes sense. But why would you insult someone just for approaching you? it's just so inexplicably nasty and makes me so sad
I’ve have weeks of lovely chats with ladies and then we get to the point of swapping face pics. Then had abuse such as “you’re too ugly to fuck”, it feels (or use to) so horrible and really can knock you"
Ugh. There's a kind of ugly that goes right to the bone  the fuck is wrong with people? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How do you get over your confidence being battered all the time?
Looking for support & advice rather being knocked down any more.
Thanks
Over the years I have had some really hurtful and nasty comments. At times I left fab alone for a few weeks then came back. Now any suck comments go straight over my head. What’s worse is the nasty rude comment followed by them blocking you before you can reply. Try not to take it to heart
Seriously? You’re saying suck comments go over your head?
They do now, otherwise I would have left fab a long time ago. Not sure the nice women on fab realise that there are woman who are quite nasty"
Trust me I know how f****** nasty, bitchy and judgemental women on fab can be! Men and couples can be the same too. Unfortunately people kind behind keypads and think they can say all sorts of damaging things to someone who has done nothing to them. They wouldn't dare say these things to my parents or they literally wouldn't have a leg to stand on! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How do you get over your confidence being battered all the time?
Looking for support & advice rather being knocked down any more.
Thanks
Over the years I have had some really hurtful and nasty comments. At times I left fab alone for a few weeks then came back. Now any suck comments go straight over my head. What’s worse is the nasty rude comment followed by them blocking you before you can reply. Try not to take it to heart
I just don't get why someone would do that I can kind of understand the guys who call me a fat slut because I've said no, it's pathetic but I get why they're lashing out, it makes sense. But why would you insult someone just for approaching you? it's just so inexplicably nasty and makes me so sad
You can get that on the forums aswell. People deliberately put you down. Be careful "
Baby, I've been called just about everything over the years. I genuinely couldn't give less of a fuck but i find it hard to hear about other people being called horrible undeserved names. |
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"How do you get over your confidence being battered all the time?
Looking for support & advice rather being knocked down any more.
Thanks
Over the years I have had some really hurtful and nasty comments. At times I left fab alone for a few weeks then came back. Now any suck comments go straight over my head. What’s worse is the nasty rude comment followed by them blocking you before you can reply. Try not to take it to heart
Seriously? You’re saying suck comments go over your head?
They do now, otherwise I would have left fab a long time ago. Not sure the nice women on fab realise that there are woman who are quite nasty
Trust me I know how f****** nasty, bitchy and judgemental women on fab can be! Men and couples can be the same too. Unfortunately people kind behind keypads and think they can say all sorts of damaging things to someone who has done nothing to them. They wouldn't dare say these things to my parents or they literally wouldn't have a leg to stand on! "
I’m sure there’s plenty of nasty men too. I always think I’m a nice guy and that gets me no where lol x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How do you get over your confidence being battered all the time?
Looking for support & advice rather being knocked down any more.
Thanks
Over the years I have had some really hurtful and nasty comments. At times I left fab alone for a few weeks then came back. Now any suck comments go straight over my head. What’s worse is the nasty rude comment followed by them blocking you before you can reply. Try not to take it to heart
I just don't get why someone would do that I can kind of understand the guys who call me a fat slut because I've said no, it's pathetic but I get why they're lashing out, it makes sense. But why would you insult someone just for approaching you? it's just so inexplicably nasty and makes me so sad
I’ve have weeks of lovely chats with ladies and then we get to the point of swapping face pics. Then had abuse such as “you’re too ugly to fuck”, it feels (or use to) so horrible and really can knock you"
I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with that. The real ugliness there is in the people that make comments like that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How do you get over your confidence being battered all the time?
Looking for support & advice rather being knocked down any more.
Thanks
Over the years I have had some really hurtful and nasty comments. At times I left fab alone for a few weeks then came back. Now any suck comments go straight over my head. What’s worse is the nasty rude comment followed by them blocking you before you can reply. Try not to take it to heart
I just don't get why someone would do that I can kind of understand the guys who call me a fat slut because I've said no, it's pathetic but I get why they're lashing out, it makes sense. But why would you insult someone just for approaching you? it's just so inexplicably nasty and makes me so sad
I’ve have weeks of lovely chats with ladies and then we get to the point of swapping face pics. Then had abuse such as “you’re too ugly to fuck”, it feels (or use to) so horrible and really can knock you"
God I bet it does! That’s just pure nasty. Just think to yourself would you really want to meet someone like that though? Sad people. |
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"Just everyone who realises I have a beard & bald head, is then not interested. Been on here just over a year & meets. I haven’t been pushy or rude. Wondering what I’m doing wrong.
Being rejected is the worst and you’re right, it does destroy your confidence.
Being bald and having a beard isn’t the worst thing. Like I said in my previous post you’ve just gotta present yourself the best you can and work with what you got.
Looking at your pics you have visceral fat (fat around your mid section) if you’re stressed you’ll produce cortisol which will make you eat sugar fatty foods and salty foods it makes your weight go straight to your mid section.
New year now so make some changes, fat loss will alter your body and your face particularly your jawline, which to me determines how hot a guy is. Don’t have to do anything major just start with walking, stroke some pets dogs or cats if you have any or know people who so cos they’ll help with stress. Cut out sugar, google keto recipes is your best bet. But that’s my advice, if you want to build your confidence back up you have to make some changes so you can feel good about yourself. When people IN THE REAL WORLD start noticing which they will in 6 weeks, you’ll start getting glances and compliments and that should help.
"
Thank you |
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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago
Whitley Bay |
Ouch, sounds harsh.
Sometimes life shines a light on what most needs attention ... albeit unfair and harsh. Ask yourself which bit of you that hurts needs healing, how can you meet your own needs. Try not to place your own self value on external events which you have no control over x |
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"How do you get over your confidence being battered all the time?
Looking for support & advice rather being knocked down any more.
Thanks
Over the years I have had some really hurtful and nasty comments. At times I left fab alone for a few weeks then came back. Now any suck comments go straight over my head. What’s worse is the nasty rude comment followed by them blocking you before you can reply. Try not to take it to heart
I just don't get why someone would do that I can kind of understand the guys who call me a fat slut because I've said no, it's pathetic but I get why they're lashing out, it makes sense. But why would you insult someone just for approaching you? it's just so inexplicably nasty and makes me so sad
I’ve have weeks of lovely chats with ladies and then we get to the point of swapping face pics. Then had abuse such as “you’re too ugly to fuck”, it feels (or use to) so horrible and really can knock you
God I bet it does! That’s just pure nasty. Just think to yourself would you really want to meet someone like that though? Sad people. "
That’s how I now see it, I’m thankful I’ve seen the true person |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
"Just everyone who realises I have a beard & bald head, is then not interested. Been on here just over a year & meets. I haven’t been pushy or rude. Wondering what I’m doing wrong.
Being rejected is the worst and you’re right, it does destroy your confidence.
Being bald and having a beard isn’t the worst thing. Like I said in my previous post you’ve just gotta present yourself the best you can and work with what you got.
Looking at your pics you have visceral fat (fat around your mid section) if you’re stressed you’ll produce cortisol which will make you eat sugar fatty foods and salty foods it makes your weight go straight to your mid section.
New year now so make some changes, fat loss will alter your body and your face particularly your jawline, which to me determines how hot a guy is. Don’t have to do anything major just start with walking, stroke some pets dogs or cats if you have any or know people who so cos they’ll help with stress. Cut out sugar, google keto recipes is your best bet. But that’s my advice, if you want to build your confidence back up you have to make some changes so you can feel good about yourself. When people IN THE REAL WORLD start noticing which they will in 6 weeks, you’ll start getting glances and compliments and that should help.
"
Great advice here. Though obviously do more in depth research to what you should be doing beyond the basic outline given.
For the most part for me rejection is fine. The way the rejection is done, and at times by who ends up being the confidence knock.
It shouldn't be a shock to any of the ladies on the forum to learn that women can often be just as bad, if not at times worse when it comes to being mean, and rude, and plain brutal with comments. There really are horrible people of all sexes and genders floating around fab (just like offline) |
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I shave my head because my hair is receding and I think a bald head looks better than a partly bald head.
I have a goatee and sometimes a beard because I think it makes my fat face look a bit thinner. Also, I believe it’s illegal for a man to ride a motorbike over 700cc without facial hair.
Some people like their men to look like the models out of C&A, and some don’t.
Put some effort in to your profile, get to socials, get to clubs...seek out fun |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How do you get over your confidence being battered all the time?
Looking for support & advice rather being knocked down any more.
Thanks"
There are a few in the same boat OP, but just know there are also some lovely helpful people out there too. Just takes a time to find those that will chat and be there for you, good luck sweetie x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You can't be everyone's cup of tea mate there will always be someone amazing who comes along who will blow all those who rejected you out of the water. "
Wise words Mr G |
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"Just everyone who realises I have a beard & bald head, is then not interested. Been on here just over a year & meets. I haven’t been pushy or rude. Wondering what I’m doing wrong.
Are you absolutely being serious ?"
I thought this too!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It could be the message you send
Ahhhh is this why you keep ignoring my message re smashing your back door in ??
No it's your feet that put me off"
Lols my feet your arse perfect match looool xx
It’s love isn’t it ?? Come on admit it xx  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My last job... Toxic work colleagues. Knocking my confidence. I walked away from them all. Have interview Tuesday.
I am ugly, not drop dead gorgeous to some but like I give a fuck . I am me and people accept us for who we are.
|
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"It could be the message you send
Ahhhh is this why you keep ignoring my message re smashing your back door in ??
No it's your feet that put me off
Lols my feet your arse perfect match looool xx
It’s love isn’t it ?? Come on admit it xx "
Yes it's love can't help be in with my arse |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It could be the message you send
Ahhhh is this why you keep ignoring my message re smashing your back door in ??
No it's your feet that put me off
Lols my feet your arse perfect match looool xx
It’s love isn’t it ?? Come on admit it xx
Yes it's love can't help be in with my arse"
Shhhh Mr G get Jel babe xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It can be a cruel place this world at times.
I try to look past it and remember there’s some one in a worse off position. It can be hard at times though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How do you get over your confidence being battered all the time?
Looking for support & advice rather being knocked down any more.
Thanks"
Take no notice...on fab you can go from being the most beautiful creature they've ever set eyes on to a swamp beast they wouldn't piss on if you were on fire! Very fickle lol you're better than that |
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"How do you get over your confidence being battered all the time?
Looking for support & advice rather being knocked down any more.
Thanks
Take no notice...on fab you can go from being the most beautiful creature they've ever set eyes on to a swamp beast they wouldn't piss on if you were on fire! Very fickle lol you're better than that "
Good advice |
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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago
Bognor Regis |
If there's one thing I've learned on here..women know how to take a photo at a flattering angle to present themselves well..it seems that most of the guys do not!! It amazes me when I meet guys, how much better in real life many of them are compared to the pics they use on here!!
I doubt there's anything wrong with you, lovely. Ask any woman how to get a good pic of you & if anyone still disses you, brush them off like the waste of time they are!! We all know that we're not gonna be everyone's cup of tea so try not to be too brittle & don't let the nasty ones bring you down xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Unfortunately you do need to try ignore the haters. I'm a bbw not every1s cup of tea but it's there front and centre of my profile least that way ppl wont talk for weeks ans then not like my pics. Be honest in your profile own your look and love yourself for who you are xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dave.
Know your worth
Seek your own approval
Do not seek the approval of others.
Tell yourself all the good things about you and KNOW you reach your own standard.
The opinions of others are just that.... opinions.
You are great in your own right. "
Perfectly put...just be yourself!!  |
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By *arksxMan
over a year ago
Leicester / London |
"Unfortunately you do need to try ignore the haters. I'm a bbw not every1s cup of tea but it's there front and centre of my profile least that way ppl wont talk for weeks ans then not like my pics. Be honest in your profile own your look and love yourself for who you are xx"
Boom that there.
It is not people with imperfect bodies that are the timewasters on here
It's people coming with their ideal fantasies mental and physical and try to make profiles fit to them.
Communication is the answer.
Sell what you have don't pine for something you are not |
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