FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Do you believe in marriage and is it important to you?
Do you believe in marriage and is it important to you?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I do but it is not important to me as I dont see why you have to be married as you still like the person the same. I guess it can be beneficial in some cases such as the tax could be lower, what about you? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I was once married, and I do believe in the oath you take when you get married (my ex did not).
I have been married and will never do it again. "
That is good you believe in it too  |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I didn't at all. I scoffed at the whole concept, the absurd notion of getting yourself into debt, the doing it to please others. I thought it was an institute for everyone but me because I wasn't marriage material. Now? I think if it has real meaning to you both and it makes you happy? Do it. I've said no to proposals before but this time it feels right. I can see myself as his wife. We're doing the wedding our way and what makes us happy and it might be a bit odd but it's us. |
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I've never really seen the point of it, it's a bloody expensive piece of paper  And I don't need a special day to prove to the world how much I love someone.
Common-law couples have the same rights as married couples these days anyhow. |
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By *zQTWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere |
"I didn't at all. I scoffed at the whole concept, the absurd notion of getting yourself into debt, the doing it to please others. I thought it was an institute for everyone but me because I wasn't marriage material. Now? I think if it has real meaning to you both and it makes you happy? Do it. I've said no to proposals before but this time it feels right. I can see myself as his wife. We're doing the wedding our way and what makes us happy and it might be a bit odd but it's us. "
I never thought I was relationship material let alone a wife to someone. But when it’s right it’s right. |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
I’d like to actually make it to the alter (i’ve been engaged twice) but it’s a pretty big commitment to me and he’d have to be The One. No doubts. No fears. Feel it in your bones kind of thing.
However, that said I’m quite flighty and like the freedom of being able to leg it the moment a guy starts doing my head in.
I doubt i’ll ever find a fella for that now as i’m old and have children.
My mum was with my Step-Dad for donkeys years but when he passed away she had all sorts of legal and financial strife because they were not married. It was an eye opener. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes I do believe in marriage and having kids. For me that's obviously difficult. I believe that marriage is forever and I believe in honouring one's vows and respecting each other and looking after each other no matter what.
That's why it's important to find the right one.
I don't believe, however, that marriage means monogamy. This doesn't mean cheating. Cheating has no place in a marriage. Two partners should be open, and reasonable. If one partner has a higher libido, then they should be able to meet their needs outside the marriage. This should not in any way be done in a manner which can impact the relationship of the partners. For example, it should be done in spare time - don't cancel dinner with your spouse to shag someone. Also don't spend hours on Fab or on apps looking for sex and neglecting your partner. And also just limit it to a fuck to prevent any emotions forming. As soon as your done you are done and get out of there if your partner doesn't want to get involved.
I often meet husbands and will always kick them out and push them away if they start to get clingy. I nip it in the bud. Your first priority is and should always be your family. A fuck is a fuck. Nothing more. Nothing less.
So yes, I believe in marriage.i just don't believe it can always stay monogamous but there are ways to work around that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've never really seen the point of it, it's a bloody expensive piece of paper And I don't need a special day to prove to the world how much I love someone.
Common-law couples have the same rights as married couples these days anyhow. "
Common law couples have no rights..
Common law does not exist. Only married civil partners or married couples have right |
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I think how you define your individual marriage, your approach and attitude make a big difference.
I find it difficult to articulate but we see our marriage as a thing separate from us as individuals. It needs looking after and nurturing in order to grow and evolve and we're both invested in protecting it.
Of course you don't need a certificate of contract to have that attitude. It's what works for us and interestingly our children. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think how you define your individual marriage, your approach and attitude make a big difference.
I find it difficult to articulate but we see our marriage as a thing separate from us as individuals. It needs looking after and nurturing in order to grow and evolve and we're both invested in protecting it.
Of course you don't need a certificate of contract to have that attitude. It's what works for us and interestingly our children."
Excellently put |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I got married when I was 21 extremely young but I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him and we are still happily married now xx
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That's wonderful! |
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I (Luke) used to think marriage was important (at least to me). Then I got married and ended up in an abusive relationship for 13 years. Now I live with Hannah. We're not married, and I have never been happier in a relationship. 
We're together because we want to be together, not because we have been through a ceremony and got a certificate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I did. Not so much now. I wanted to do it all the “correct” way. Get married then have children etc. Now I don’t feel the same, if my daughter didn’t get married and just lived with her boyfriend had kids it honestly wouldn’t bother me now. I had a very long happy marriage but I hundred percent wouldn’t marry again x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I began thinking it was something a couple SHOULD do when they love each other, then I got married and realised you dont need to. There should always be honesty, decency and respect in a couple, however things arent always as clear cut as that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was once married, and I do believe in the oath you take when you get married (my ex did not).
I have been married and will never do it again. "
That about covers it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm always surprised about the amount of people who dont believe in marriage who when faced severe life limiting illness make it a priority to marry.
I'd love to marry one day. But I've been single 7 yrs now and dont see it happening. |
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Marriage is fine if you want to demonstrate that commitment to each other or acquire the benefits that society endows from it. Otherwise it's equally right to live as you choose to do. I'm open to offers  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm always surprised about the amount of people who dont believe in marriage who when faced severe life limiting illness make it a priority to marry.
I'd love to marry one day. But I've been single 7 yrs now and dont see it happening. "
It pissed me off a bit, that, when we found out, my last partner was dying, so many people, that knew I wouldn't marry again, asked if we would be getting married... Why can't people mind their own and wait for any announcements, if there are to be any... |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"I've never really seen the point of it, it's a bloody expensive piece of paper And I don't need a special day to prove to the world how much I love someone.
Common-law couples have the same rights as married couples these days anyhow.
Common law couples have no rights..
Common law does not exist. Only married civil partners or married couples have right"
agreed  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We’ve been together for years & no way would we get married, we feel like marriage is a kind of ownership and don’t need a piece of paper to show commitment to each other ( just our opinion) |
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We’re both on our third. I love being married. Our wedding wasn’t expensive. Just us at the registry office with witnesses and party in the evening for 50 people close friends and family only. It was small and intimate and we loved each moment of the day. |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
Yes I do believe in it and love being married,to us it feels more of a commitment. We were both married before. From a financial point of view, we are both more secure, you have very few rights if you are living together rather than married |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm on my second marriage, doughnut on is first.
I always said I'd never get married again, yet here I am. To me it feels like the ultimate commitment. But that's my view.
Danish x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have no problem with marriage but just not for me as said what difference does it make to your life
It's made a huge difference to ours."
that's nice most are but I ain't what you'd call marriage material |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
I got married when I was 24, too young looking back. It was important to me to have what society deemed normal though, and coming from a dysfunctional family only emphasised that.
Still married, beautiful children, no regrets.
Would I be bothered if my kids didn't get married? Not at all, I just want them to be happy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I believe in some aspects of marriage. I believe that you work at a marriage more than you would a casual relationship. If things go wrong you work together to over come them. I don't however believe in monogamy. I'm in a open marriage and I am in a poly relationship that is where Beast comes in |
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"I have no problem with marriage but just not for me as said what difference does it make to your life
It's made a huge difference to ours. that's nice most are but I ain't what you'd call marriage material"
No, that's fair enough I don't think everyone is. In fact I don't agree that most are, we see far more unhappy marriages than happy ones |
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"I believe in some aspects of marriage. I believe that you work at a marriage more than you would a casual relationship. If things go wrong you work together to over come them. I don't however believe in monogamy. I'm in a open marriage and I am in a poly relationship that is where Beast comes in "
I think being poly is one part of why marriage isn't for me as in this country you can only have 1 legal marriage. |
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I was with my ex for 14 years, engaged for 9 but never got married. From a financial point I wish we'd got married because I'd have much more security now. I'm entitled to precisely fuck all apart from child maintenance despite supporting him for years while he built his company up.
I still quite like the idea of marriage, need to find someone that can put up with me for more than 5 minutes first. |
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I did and still do but maybe not in the same traditional way. I believed in it so much I stayed with someone I shouldn't have for over 20 years.
Now I do but in a completely different way. I see it more as a binding of two souls who want to be together |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
It is nothing more than just another way to express commitment. Nothing more and no less.
There is nothing wrong with that, in fact it is a good thing. However don't assume "marriage" itself is the ultimate expression to everyone. It can easily be replaced by another thing with the same meaning and importance to a different couple. The important thing is what it is for those two people involved.
Would I get married? Yeah sure if it felt right. Do I feel like I need to, or pressured to do so? Not even in the slightest. I'll just find my own way of expressing my commitment to a person. |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
I think its out dated personally and i've never wanted to get married,
I don't think it makes a relationship any more secure people still cheat,divorce etc
However each to their own,i know some like the commitment of marriage
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm married and it's important to me,as a symbolic thing as well as being practical in a legal sense. I knew I'd spend my life with my husband whether we married or not. (Yes, he knows I'm here- before anyone gets worried) |
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I’ve never married. I have always said I would only ever do it once and so far have not found anyone worthy of giving up my name or love for.
My long-term partner had been married and was divorced, he had no desire to repeat it. I wasn’t prepared to be his long-term, head cook and bottle washer (amongst other things) it eventually created resentment - we parted as friends. I’ve never permitted anyone else to be that close again |
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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago
Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro |
"I’ve never married. I have always said I would only ever do it once and so far have not found anyone worthy of giving up my name or love for.
My long-term partner had been married and was divorced, he had no desire to repeat it. I wasn’t prepared to be his long-term, head cook and bottle washer (amongst other things) it eventually created resentment - we parted as friends. I’ve never permitted anyone else to be that close again"
This for me also that's why I've never married. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Call me young and naive but I still believe in marriage. I did not have much luck with men before I met my OH, he is everything I've ever wished for and more so I would be really happy to be his wife. And being a submissive it would really mean a lot to me if I "belonged" to someone. |
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We believe in marriage. It's a bond, a strong connection, something very special between us. I am honoured to call my man my husband.
We appreciate that other people may also feel the same way for their partner without being married, but for us, marriage makes us feel 'as one', united, totally together, complete.
We have something fantastic together,for better for worse. Marriage is about working together and making it work for us, no matter what hurdles we face. |
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Well we have been together for 34 years and married for 24.
Unlike today we wanted to live our life a little before deciding to settle down but had our own home after the first 18 months together.
So yes it is important to us.  |
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By *issyEMWoman
over a year ago
Nearly |
I neglected 2mans in my life who wanted to married me have kids ect. Karma get me now when meet someone who I would break all my rules and married him and even have child but life is a bitch and he is after divorce and don't even want to hear about it  |
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Been together over 12 years. Kept setting a date and every time id end up pregnant lol. So we actually booked it when i was pregnant on our third saying at least we know i wont be pregnant then lol. We had 9 people at it including ourselves and our kids. His parents were our witnesses. It was the most perfect day and 2 days after we found out i was pregnant with our 4th. So if this goes belly up im not getting married again because i dont think i could handle any more children ha ha |
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I definitely believe in marriage but it isn't for everyone.
This is the second marriage for us both and we have been married 15 years.
For me, marriage is a formal commitment to the person you love and isn't something to do lightly.
A marriage or civil partnership also gives both parties rights, that you wouldn't otherwise have. |
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"I’ve never married. I have always said I would only ever do it once and so far have not found anyone worthy of giving up my name or love for.
My long-term partner had been married and was divorced, he had no desire to repeat it. I wasn’t prepared to be his long-term, head cook and bottle washer (amongst other things) it eventually created resentment - we parted as friends. I’ve never permitted anyone else to be that close again
This for me also that's why I've never married."
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By *rufinWoman
over a year ago
notts |
"I do but it is not important to me as I dont see why you have to be married as you still like the person the same. I guess it can be beneficial in some cases such as the tax could be lower, what about you?"
I don't believe in it any more, no, and I hope my kids don't get married. I now believe in cycles and life partners for different stages of your life.
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"We believe in marriage. It's a bond, a strong connection, something very special between us. I am honoured to call my man my husband.
We appreciate that other people may also feel the same way for their partner without being married, but for us, marriage makes us feel 'as one', united, totally together, complete.
We have something fantastic together,for better for worse. Marriage is about working together and making it work for us, no matter what hurdles we face."
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I believe in marriage if you find the right person and it’s what you both want
I got married late
Hubby has been married before but she was mad...lol
I’ve only done it once but will never do it again
I’m totally happy and wouldn’t want anyone else
Xx |
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"We’ve been together for years & no way would we get married, we feel like marriage is a kind of ownership and don’t need a piece of paper to show commitment to each other ( just our opinion)"
...until one of you gets ill say and you realise you have no status as you're not next of kin etc. Living together offers no security whatsoever, people don't recognise that until it's too late.
I've been with my partner six years. I have children and grandchildren, the house is mine. He doesn't feel secure, I know that, because I won't marry him. If I die tomorrow he has "reasonable" time to move out. On the advice of my solicitor I've had to include him in my will, £1 so he can't contest the will.
People are naive if they think living together is the same as marriage: it isn't. Why do so many couples suddenly get hitched when they have a terminal illness? Because they know that "piece of paper" makes a difference.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I definitely believe in it, I was engaged once many years ago until she cheated. But that wouldn’t stop me if the right one came along in the future.
Yes it’s an expensive day for a piece of paper but it’s the couples day to make it how they want it. Screw anyone who doesn’t like how you do it, it’s about them and then only |
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"I definitely believe in it, I was engaged once many years ago until she cheated. But that wouldn’t stop me if the right one came along in the future.
Yes it’s an expensive day for a piece of paper but it’s the couples day to make it how they want it. Screw anyone who doesn’t like how you do it, it’s about them and then only "
It doesn't have to be hugely expensive. You can do it quite reasonably if you have to |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I definitely believe in it, I was engaged once many years ago until she cheated. But that wouldn’t stop me if the right one came along in the future.
Yes it’s an expensive day for a piece of paper but it’s the couples day to make it how they want it. Screw anyone who doesn’t like how you do it, it’s about them and then only
It doesn't have to be hugely expensive. You can do it quite reasonably if you have to"
I guess that comes down to how they want to have it really, everyone’s different really, I could do it on a budget and still make it an amazing day if I had to |
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"I definitely believe in it, I was engaged once many years ago until she cheated. But that wouldn’t stop me if the right one came along in the future.
Yes it’s an expensive day for a piece of paper but it’s the couples day to make it how they want it. Screw anyone who doesn’t like how you do it, it’s about them and then only
It doesn't have to be hugely expensive. You can do it quite reasonably if you have to
I guess that comes down to how they want to have it really, everyone’s different really, I could do it on a budget and still make it an amazing day if I had to "
Yes, we could if we had to. I think a lot of people concentrate on the wedding when they should really be concentrating on the marriage |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I definitely believe in it, I was engaged once many years ago until she cheated. But that wouldn’t stop me if the right one came along in the future.
Yes it’s an expensive day for a piece of paper but it’s the couples day to make it how they want it. Screw anyone who doesn’t like how you do it, it’s about them and then only
It doesn't have to be hugely expensive. You can do it quite reasonably if you have to
I guess that comes down to how they want to have it really, everyone’s different really, I could do it on a budget and still make it an amazing day if I had to
Yes, we could if we had to. I think a lot of people concentrate on the wedding when they should really be concentrating on the marriage "
Absolutely, at the end of the day it’s a day, what the bigger picture is all about is spending you’re future with that person and loving each other day after day |
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"I definitely believe in it, I was engaged once many years ago until she cheated. But that wouldn’t stop me if the right one came along in the future.
Yes it’s an expensive day for a piece of paper but it’s the couples day to make it how they want it. Screw anyone who doesn’t like how you do it, it’s about them and then only
It doesn't have to be hugely expensive. You can do it quite reasonably if you have to
I guess that comes down to how they want to have it really, everyone’s different really, I could do it on a budget and still make it an amazing day if I had to
Yes, we could if we had to. I think a lot of people concentrate on the wedding when they should really be concentrating on the marriage
Absolutely, at the end of the day it’s a day, what the bigger picture is all about is spending you’re future with that person and loving each other day after day "
Our wedding day was over 32 years ago after we'd been living together 7 years. My mum did the catering and we had one night away. It was a quiet affair but we're quiet people. If we had the chance to do it again we would do it differently and spend more money though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would just like to meet someone who wanted to be with me and loved me. "
I’m actually really surprised that you haven’t done, you’re absolutely gorgeous lovely
But I guess that’s what most of us want really, it’s just finding that one person who shares that spark with the other person |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Totally agree with marriage. I unfortunately married the wrong guy first time round. I have met the man I should have always been with now so I hope one day we will get married as he is the man I should have married in the first place. Marrying my bf will be the happiest day of my life..... when it hopefully happens |
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"I would just like to meet someone who wanted to be with me and loved me.
This.
I don't think it will ever happen for me now "
Of course it will, you're still young. It will happen when you least expect it. |
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