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Nothing at home
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Talk "
This! And think long and hard, make a decision and stick to it would be my advice.
There are no hard and fast rules in this as I’m sure you know.
Good luck
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Talk. Do not cheat,if you love that person then talk and if it’s still not working then maybe it’s best to part. But if you do love that person then don’t throw it away without trying to talk about your problems first. All the best. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sit down. Relax and bloody ask what the fuck is up and stop pissing about on a swingers site perhaps  "
I didn’t think of that! So how come you’re on here OP? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Talk
Specifically to their partner
 "
Definately talk...communication is the secret to everything but alas it's a dying art..my partner and I talk about everything...don t let a single little thing build into something bigger  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have talked and talked but doesn’t make and difference no affection of any sort says she loves me and doesn’t want us to split confused is understatement "
Maybe the two of you could consider couples therapy of some sort, if you want to stay together. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have talked and talked but doesn’t make and difference no affection of any sort says she loves me and doesn’t want us to split confused is understatement "
Whats confusing?
Go to a doctor, could be hormonal, could be mental. Dont try you wont know |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Talk. Do not cheat,if you love that person then talk and if it’s still not working then maybe it’s best to part. But if you do love that person then don’t throw it away without trying to talk about your problems first. All the best."
What he said |
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"I think you need to be a bit more specific if you want helpful answers. Try putting her needs first. You’ve put your needs first, cos you’re on here. I am on here to chat to be honest"
fair enough |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"She has been to the doctor and specialist I have suggested therapy but she won’t go anyone else with similar problems would love to chat"
How old is she? Could be the menopause. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is how my life runs ok...we only get one crack at this life..if something is dragging myself and a person down..something we can t fix then I pull the rip cord..but only if I know both are unhappy with situation..life is for living not regretting...that is how I live mind |
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Are you still together out of habit rather than actual love? There is a difference, you're clearly not happy with the situation and it's been several years. It appears as though you have tried to sort it out. You need to ask yourself if you'd be happy with this situation persisting |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That’s the million dollar question
Stay or go !
Got to get some pro help
I’ve been there ,we didn’t make it ,she was looking for attention elsewhere I left ,end of story
Talk and talk between yourselves sometimes don’t work better off going to couples counselling |
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"Are you still together out of habit rather than actual love? There is a difference, you're clearly not happy with the situation and it's been several years. It appears as though you have tried to sort it out. You need to ask yourself if you'd be happy with this situation persisting"
we are happy in every other way
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"I agree with you 100 % but she is very happy with situation "
But you aren't. I know it doesn't sound very feminist of me but in a couple both parties have to be happy. I am not saying that she has to lie back and think of England, but maybe there is something that there is she could do to help. After all this has lead you to a swingers site, I am sure she wouldn't want you to take the next step and meet up with someone behind her back xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think you need to be a bit more specific if you want helpful answers. Try putting her needs first. You’ve put your needs first, cos you’re on here. I am on here to chat to be honest"
Do you think a relationship forum might be more useful than a swinging contact site? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tks for options guys believe it or not it helps"
Your options are really quite simple. It looks like she's happy with every aspect of your life together, but you are not.
So you either stay and put up with it, or you split up.
Perhaps if you tell her that affection, physical contact and sex are important to you, and that you are unhappy not having them, then she may agree to couples therapy.
Sex is an important part of a relationship - if she is asexual, would you still stay?
xN |
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"Are you still together out of habit rather than actual love? There is a difference, you're clearly not happy with the situation and it's been several years. It appears as though you have tried to sort it out. You need to ask yourself if you'd be happy with this situation persisting we are happy in every other way "
But can you live the rest of your life without affection? It maybe difficult for her but it has to be give and take in a relationship. You need to find a compromise, else you won't be happy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry ment opinions "
I was in a sexless marriage / relationship for nearly 15 years. I couldn't think of anything worse, and to be fair, don't know how I did it with my sex drive.
I would hate to be on my deathbed and think back at a life without affection and intimacy.
Just my humble opinion.
Nx
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
"I think you need to be a bit more specific if you want helpful answers. Try putting her needs first. You’ve put your needs first, cos you’re on here. I am on here to chat to be honest"
So that's your wife in your pictures then... therefore you're not getting zero physical contact from her, just maybe not as much as you'd like? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Talk
This! And think long and hard, make a decision and stick to it would be my advice.
There are no hard and fast rules in this as I’m sure you know.
Good luck
"
i love your boots   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have talked and talked but doesn’t make and difference no affection of any sort says she loves me and doesn’t want us to split confused is understatement
Maybe the two of you could consider couples therapy of some sort, if you want to stay together."
Maybe when you talk you can tell her you are on a swingers site talking to complete strangers about you marriage problems...got a feeling she may decide what to do from that point...problem solved. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If it was me, I'd sit my partner down and say something like: "Look, I love you and I don't want us to split up, but the lack of affection is making me really unhappy. I need you to acknowledge that and try to meet me halfway."
But at the end of the day... I've known people in similar situations and it usually comes down to either accepting the situation or splitting up. |
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I was on the other side of this. This was me about 6 months ago. I could quite happily not have sex for ages and it not bother me (we do have young children though). MR on the other hand it was definitely an issue for. He told me this but honestly it didnt make any difference as I couldn't help how I felt.
Fast forward to now. I cant remember the last time we went a full day without sex at least once. We are now on FAB ha. No idea what the turning point was wish I knew what the magic switch was. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I guess end of the day you need to decide if you want to stay. If you don't, either tell her you are leaving coz you arent hsppy or tell her you are seeing someone else, in which case she decides if she wants to let you do it or not.
You hsve to bite a bullet to resolve this if you want it resolved to lead to sex and affection. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dump her, leave her, finish it don't look back your already on a swinging site your half way there to cheating on her if you haven't already, you have had a good run with her things aren't working go your seperate ways if you still think there is a chance of it working delete fab forget it ever existed stop looking at porn and take her away surprise break or a meal and a few drinks if you can't afford to go away put some romance into the relationship don't be begging her and asking why she doesn't want to have sex that will only make the problem worse treat her like she is the sexiest person alive who you worship the ground she stands on and it will probably work out. Just don't get and have fab and a marriage because it's easier than real life. |
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"I was on the other side of this. This was me about 6 months ago. I could quite happily not have sex for ages and it not bother me (we do have young children though). MR on the other hand it was definitely an issue for. He told me this but honestly it didnt make any difference as I couldn't help how I felt. Jesus u are lucky been waiting for that turning point for too long thank u for sharing it gives me hope
Fast forward to now. I cant remember the last time we went a full day without sex at least once. We are now on FAB ha. No idea what the turning point was wish I knew what the magic switch was. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Talk
This! And think long and hard, make a decision and stick to it would be my advice.
There are no hard and fast rules in this as I’m sure you know.
Good luck
i love your boots "
Thank you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi all looking for advice if a person is getting no affection at home and I mean with 2 to 3 years what should that person do"
I was in a 9yr monogamous relationship. Last 3 years completely non sexual.
Best advice I can offer - try to talk. If your really not on the same hymn sheet then time you leave. I did. Never looked back. But I am awesome friends with my ex for my honesty alone. |
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"Talk
This! And think long and hard, make a decision and stick to it would be my advice.
There are no hard and fast rules in this as I’m sure you know.
Good luck
i love your boots
Ass isn’t too bad either xx
Thank you "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have talked and talked but doesn’t make and difference no affection of any sort says she loves me and doesn’t want us to split confused is understatement "
Have you done some of the things you did in the past to 'woo' her. Sounds like the spark has gone and its just the love keeping yous together
Talk to her and tell her how unhappy you are with it and you would like her to try harder as you need too.
If still nothing....sorry but life is too short to be always being given the cold shoulder |
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"I agree with you 100 % but she is very happy with situation "
If she isn't giving you affection, which is something you should want and have between you in a happy relationship, then ask her how she would feel about the situation if you sought it elsewhere? It's a difficult situation for you both. Hope you can work something out together. Good luck. |
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"I agree with you 100 % but she is very happy with situation
If she isn't giving you affection, which is something you should want and have between you in a happy relationship, then ask her how she would feel about the situation if you sought it elsewhere? It's a difficult situation for you both. Hope you can work something out together. Good luck."
ah thank u so much |
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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago
Shangri-la |
You say she's very happy with things as they are? Yet you have talked to her about how you are feeling so I doubt very much that she honestly is happy. If one half of a couple is seriously unhappy then the other half generally isn't either.
Counselling sounds like a good idea, even if you decide to go your separate ways it will help. |
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"You say she's very happy with things as they are? Yet you have talked to her about how you are feeling so I doubt very much that she honestly is happy. If one half of a couple is seriously unhappy then the other half generally isn't either.
Counselling sounds like a good idea, even if you decide to go your separate ways it will help. "
tks I have suggested counselling but she won’t entertain it |
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"I’m waiting patiently myself"
Bear in mind I asked the question 3 HOURS before you answered. No problem. Thanks for coming back.
I wanted to ask if you were a RoRo kind of bloke ?
You say you don't get affection which set me wondering how much affection you GIVE.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"She has been to the doctor and specialist I have suggested therapy but she won’t go anyone else with similar problems would love to chat
How old is she? Could be the menopause."
Was just about to say the same.
Women lose their womeness feelings loss of identity hormone changes affects each lady differently.
Sadly time n patience is the key. Go doctors together to explore this. Write her a letter reminding her of how much she means to you when you first met. Etc..
Weekend away.. But seriously.. Get off here.. seek professionals help.. Google can be good.
But it honestly suggestive of menopausal changes |
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I have tried all of the above except the letter which I replaced with a very long and detailed text msgs I bought her on wkend away bought her to sex shops which she seemed to enjoy a she bought some things she thought might help but remain in box six months later |
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