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Is the Friendzone Real?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes i originally wanted to fuck my good mate who used to be mystique but left then we both decided that would be silly due to distance since that day iv never had a sexy thought about her shes more like a sister now  id say yhe same for quite a few girls to be honest |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People here say it's not real but for me it is. I have friends I am attracted to but fucking them would spoil the friendship. Or I meet people who I fancy but they become such good friends that I no longer see them in a sexual way |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People here say it's not real but for me it is. I have friends I am attracted to but fucking them would spoil the friendship. Or I meet people who I fancy but they become such good friends that I no longer see them in a sexual way "
I agree with this |
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By *lceeWoman
over a year ago
Leeds |
"People here say it's not real but for me it is. I have friends I am attracted to but fucking them would spoil the friendship. Or I meet people who I fancy but they become such good friends that I no longer see them in a sexual way "
This, all the time. Does it count if you friendzone after you’ve fucked though? I always give it the good old college try but at some point just like hanging out too much to want to sleep with them. I’d rather have a beer and find out what they think of Highly Suspect’s new album.  |
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It’s definitely real. There are people I adore but would never sleep with, as wouldn’t want to spoil the friendship.
Likewise, there are those that I have slept with but we become close as friends and they tell me everything as I’m ‘too much one of the lads’. It can then feel strange to have sex with them |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No. It’s a stupid term for people who cannot respect and value friendships. "
So, let's say you're friends with someone and they either have or start to develop feelings for you, feelings that you can't return, do you think it's wise to continue being friends? And, when I say feelings, I mean REAL feelings, not just a passive crush. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It’s just a stupid term given to what should be named friends. Nothing more than that "
Yeah but, once one person wants something more, isn't the friendship tainted? |
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By *zQTWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere |
"No. It’s a stupid term for people who cannot respect and value friendships.
So, let's say you're friends with someone and they either have or start to develop feelings for you, feelings that you can't return, do you think it's wise to continue being friends? And, when I say feelings, I mean REAL feelings, not just a passive crush."
I would make explicit that it was just friends on my part. They are entitled to their feelings and can progress as friends but it will never be more from me.
Yes it has happened to me before and I am still friends with the people. Comments still arise around how they feel but they know where I stand and so nothing has ever happened |
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By *zQTWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere |
"It’s just a stupid term given to what should be named friends. Nothing more than that
Yeah but, once one person wants something more, isn't the friendship tainted?"
It’s not how I have worked. It’s never gone wrong for me yet and I have managed to maintain friendships |
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I have friends I love but wouldn't sleep with.
I have kinky friends I scene with and would not sleep with.
I have friends I can sleep with on a casual basis so if the label "friendzone" is what works for you then yeah |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
No, it doesn't work like that for me. I don't have sexual value tokens that I give to some people and those who don't end up in the barren land of the "friendzone". My vagina doesn't open because you're a decent person, it opens because I think you're hot. Having sex with me isn't because you're more deserving than someone else. The whole term is problematic and oppressive.
Fuck outdated notions. Friendships are just as valued as sexual ones for me. Relationship anarchy for the win. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It’s just a stupid term given to what should be named friends. Nothing more than that
Yeah but, once one person wants something more, isn't the friendship tainted?
It’s not how I have worked. It’s never gone wrong for me yet and I have managed to maintain friendships "
Hmmm, see, I recall an instance where it happened to me years ago. Feelings developed over time, but they weren't mutual of course. I as much younger then, but I don't think I would have be into hearing about her 'adventures' with other guys since I genuinely started to care. I was just easier to go our seperate ways, something that would have happened over time anyway as we went on about our lives. |
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I think the friendzone exists for some people because there is a distinction between people you'll have sex with and those you won't. It has bad connotations though because so many people don't want friends from the group they're sexually attracted to unless there's a chance of sex. |
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"No, it doesn't work like that for me. I don't have sexual value tokens that I give to some people and those who don't end up in the barren land of the "friendzone". My vagina doesn't open because you're a decent person, it opens because I think you're hot. Having sex with me isn't because you're more deserving than someone else. The whole term is problematic and oppressive.
Fuck outdated notions. Friendships are just as valued as sexual ones for me. Relationship anarchy for the win."
And also what she said |
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By *zQTWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere |
"It’s just a stupid term given to what should be named friends. Nothing more than that
Yeah but, once one person wants something more, isn't the friendship tainted?
It’s not how I have worked. It’s never gone wrong for me yet and I have managed to maintain friendships
Hmmm, see, I recall an instance where it happened to me years ago. Feelings developed over time, but they weren't mutual of course. I as much younger then, but I don't think I would have be into hearing about her 'adventures' with other guys since I genuinely started to care. I was just easier to go our seperate ways, something that would have happened over time anyway as we went on about our lives."
I get that and that’s a choice I allow them to make. If they could carry on being a friend and happy for me to do what I do then that’s good with me. If it was too difficult for them, then I understood if they needed to part ways. But it just never happened to me. No one has ever left. They just stuck around |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It’s just a stupid term given to what should be named friends. Nothing more than that
Yeah but, once one person wants something more, isn't the friendship tainted?
It’s not how I have worked. It’s never gone wrong for me yet and I have managed to maintain friendships
Hmmm, see, I recall an instance where it happened to me years ago. Feelings developed over time, but they weren't mutual of course. I as much younger then, but I don't think I would have be into hearing about her 'adventures' with other guys since I genuinely started to care. I was just easier to go our seperate ways, something that would have happened over time anyway as we went on about our lives.
I get that and that’s a choice I allow them to make. If they could carry on being a friend and happy for me to do what I do then that’s good with me. If it was too difficult for them, then I understood if they needed to part ways. But it just never happened to me. No one has ever left. They just stuck around "
That's fair enough, I'm glad it worked out for you, would be good to know what (if any) thoughts they had about continuing on as normal, but that's just my curious side. |
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I've always seen 'friendzone' used in context of guys who are nice to women purely to have sex with them, and then throw their toys out the pram when the women 'just' see them as friends. (Possibly this happens in other gender configurations too!)
I think where feelings develop out of a genuine friendship it's something different - no one's being deceitful. It can be awkward, or sad, or frustrating - but not quite the same.
A friendship is just as valuable as a sexual relationship, and it's pretty disappointing when people use 'friendzone' as some sort of slight. |
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By *zQTWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere |
"It’s just a stupid term given to what should be named friends. Nothing more than that
Yeah but, once one person wants something more, isn't the friendship tainted?
It’s not how I have worked. It’s never gone wrong for me yet and I have managed to maintain friendships
Hmmm, see, I recall an instance where it happened to me years ago. Feelings developed over time, but they weren't mutual of course. I as much younger then, but I don't think I would have be into hearing about her 'adventures' with other guys since I genuinely started to care. I was just easier to go our seperate ways, something that would have happened over time anyway as we went on about our lives.
I get that and that’s a choice I allow them to make. If they could carry on being a friend and happy for me to do what I do then that’s good with me. If it was too difficult for them, then I understood if they needed to part ways. But it just never happened to me. No one has ever left. They just stuck around
That's fair enough, I'm glad it worked out for you, would be good to know what (if any) thoughts they had about continuing on as normal, but that's just my curious side."
That you would have to ask them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No. It’s a stupid term for people who cannot respect and value friendships.
So, let's say you're friends with someone and they either have or start to develop feelings for you, feelings that you can't return, do you think it's wise to continue being friends? And, when I say feelings, I mean REAL feelings, not just a passive crush."
Most cannot differenciate tho tbh |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No. It’s a stupid term for people who cannot respect and value friendships.
So, let's say you're friends with someone and they either have or start to develop feelings for you, feelings that you can't return, do you think it's wise to continue being friends? And, when I say feelings, I mean REAL feelings, not just a passive crush.
Most cannot differenciate tho tbh"
I guess that takes time but how hard can it be to tell if your feelings for someone are genuine as opposed to something that could fade at any moment? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No. It’s a stupid term for people who cannot respect and value friendships.
So, let's say you're friends with someone and they either have or start to develop feelings for you, feelings that you can't return, do you think it's wise to continue being friends? And, when I say feelings, I mean REAL feelings, not just a passive crush.
Most cannot differenciate tho tbh
I guess that takes time but how hard can it be to tell if your feelings for someone are genuine as opposed to something that could fade at any moment?"
It's easy when you don't romanticise every nice feeling you have |
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Personally this has only ever happened to me when I failed to make a move on a chick when the timing was perfect.
I think they see you as a potential to begin with but if you don't make a move and show your an alpha with a decent set of nuts you get put in the friend zone.
Cus you start developing a non-sexual relationship after failing to convert and clearly distinguish what relationship you guys are heading towards.
Also if they think your ugly that's instant friendzone before you even talk to them
Or if they're social group pressures them and all they're girlfriends tell her your a wierdo and everyone else wouldn't date you.
Or if your broke (gold diggers)
They're are some exeptions but this is most likely the reasons why. |
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"No, it doesn't work like that for me. I don't have sexual value tokens that I give to some people and those who don't end up in the barren land of the "friendzone". My vagina doesn't open because you're a decent person, it opens because I think you're hot. Having sex with me isn't because you're more deserving than someone else. The whole term is problematic and oppressive.
Fuck outdated notions. Friendships are just as valued as sexual ones for me. Relationship anarchy for the win."
This is the problem for a lot of men.
They think being nice and polite will earn them sex tokens.
Usually fails as they're obviously nice to potential partners but nasty to people who say no, or people with no potential.
Real friendship is reward in itself.
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"People here say it's not real but for me it is. I have friends I am attracted to but fucking them would spoil the friendship. Or I meet people who I fancy but they become such good friends that I no longer see them in a sexual way
This, all the time. Does it count if you friendzone after you’ve fucked though? I always give it the good old college try but at some point just like hanging out too much to want to sleep with them. I’d rather have a beer and find out what they think of Highly Suspect’s new album. "
Oooh try me!  |
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Friendzone is very real and easy to slip into unwittingly by coming across the wrong way. Also possible you've got no chance but the FZ cos she doesn't fancy you and never will.
Once in FZ near impossible to escape.
So do avoid the dreaded 'I like you but I just don't see you like that' 
I've been there loads of times but now better at avoiding it or at least clarifying early on so as not to be too disappointed. |
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"Personally this has only ever happened to me when I failed to make a move on a chick when the timing was perfect.
I think they see you as a potential to begin with but if you don't make a move and show your an alpha with a decent set of nuts you get put in the friend zone.
Cus you start developing a non-sexual relationship after failing to convert and clearly distinguish what relationship you guys are heading towards.
Also if they think your ugly that's instant friendzone before you even talk to them
Or if they're social group pressures them and all they're girlfriends tell her your a wierdo and everyone else wouldn't date you.
Or if your broke (gold diggers)
They're are some exeptions but this is most likely the reasons why."
My last post is pretty much this in other words |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just don’t get those two posts above. Friends are much more important than casual sex contacts. Friendships are the relationships I put time and effort into. Sex contacts are superficial and transitory.
If you’re not having sex and you’re not developing something more meaningful, then you’re not a friend, you’re an acquaintance. |
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Yes its a real thing. I adore my fb would do anything for him but im firmly firmly in the friend zone. He has said blatently to my face we will never be together because he doesnt like me that way. Dont think there us anything people can do to get out of it. I dont believe in miracles lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes its a real thing. I adore my fb would do anything for him but im firmly firmly in the friend zone. He has said blatently to my face we will never be together because he doesnt like me that way. Dont think there us anything people can do to get out of it. I dont believe in miracles lol."
Hmmm think he's having your cake and his... friend zone normally implies no sex but you can help me decorate my sitting room... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don’t line the term but I think sometimes you have people who you love having as friends but wouldn’t have sex with. Some friends you can do both if the sexual attraction is strong enough.
However the ‘let’s just be friends’ after a rejection rarely leads to friendship if you weren’t friends before. Particularly if there are residual emotions. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes its a real thing. I adore my fb would do anything for him but im firmly firmly in the friend zone. He has said blatently to my face we will never be together because he doesnt like me that way. Dont think there us anything people can do to get out of it. I dont believe in miracles lol.
Hmmm think he's having your cake and his... friend zone normally implies no sex but you can help me decorate my sitting room..."
Yeah that’s how I understood it. But I don’t like the term. |
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"Yes its a real thing. I adore my fb would do anything for him but im firmly firmly in the friend zone. He has said blatently to my face we will never be together because he doesnt like me that way. Dont think there us anything people can do to get out of it. I dont believe in miracles lol."
Friends with benefits, is not the same as the friend zone.
At least your FB is honest about his intentions, and if you're happy with the situation that's fine.
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
I think of the ‘friend zone’ term as relating to that period of time when it could go either way on both sides then it slips into friendship only with no sexual feelings. Someone has to be first to do it I think but from then on it’s just friendship surely? |
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By *arksxMan
over a year ago
Leicester / London |
The name is odd even if the concept is true
Who are these people having sex with a unfriendly people?
I like to be friendly with someone I have sex with. Even if the relationship has a kink to it
But i don't want to have sex with all my friends
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It seems to be the place I'm doomed to be on here. I tend to become good friends with those I meet and we most often end up either stopping having sex or it ends up not happening at all. At least I seem to be likeable!  |
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