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Are you happy?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And I mean *really* happy. With yourself, your life, your emotions etc...
Why? Why not?
If you’re not happy; what could help change that?"
Wrong time of month to ask... Menopause, hurry up! |
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I don’t think I will ever be truly happy.
Too much baggage from childhood and guilt from when I have been a twat in the past.
Just can’t seem to let it truly go and make peace with myself.
I do the best I can. I live a decent life and consider myself as a kind person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wasn't early last year. Attending AA and my life has improved ten fold. Feel happiest I've ever been. If anyone is struggling then talk to someone. There's help out there xxxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I wasn't early last year. Attending AA and my life has improved ten fold. Feel happiest I've ever been. If anyone is struggling then talk to someone. There's help out there xxxx"
I’m glad life has improved for you, well done  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"And I mean *really* happy. With yourself, your life, your emotions etc...
Why? Why not?
If you’re not happy; what could help change that?
Are you OP? "
For the most part, yes. Not having PND and D-MER would help a lot |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No.
Can't go into why, too depressing.. Like a mood hoover actually... But
My family brother, mother.. being healthy and having enough to get by would make me so much happier.
Cant change it right now, so having to accept it.. For now.  |
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I’m not too bad but when can we be truly happy.
When is enough is enough?
I always think there always can be someone even worse off than me. So just be thankful for your health and a little bit of happiness |
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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago
Durham, North Yorkshire and can travel |
Yes we are. Life is being very kind to us so we are appreciating it and enjoying it and feeling very happy.
Hoping nothing happens any time soon to change our happiness. We have had more than our fair share of unhappiness over the years, so long may the happiness last for us. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’m not too bad but when can we be truly happy.
When is enough is enough?
I always think there always can be someone even worse off than me. So just be thankful for your health and a little bit of happiness"
But then why should we be happy when people have it better? |
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I separated from my wife last year. Whilst it remains very hard (even though I initiated the separation), I needed to be on my own. I am very happy with discovering myself. We have only two choices in life....leave things as they are or change yourself. Life is good, thanks for asking
Are you happy Op? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I separated from my wife last year. Whilst it remains very hard (even though I initiated the separation), I needed to be on my own. I am very happy with discovering myself. We have only two choices in life....leave things as they are or change yourself. Life is good, thanks for asking
Are you happy Op?"
I’m glad you are content with your decision and glad it’s worked out!
And yep - mostly happy |
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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago
Durham, North Yorkshire and can travel |
"I’m not too bad but when can we be truly happy.
When is enough is enough?
I always think there always can be someone even worse off than me. So just be thankful for your health and a little bit of happiness
But then why should we be happy when people have it better?"
You need to learn to be happy with what you have, forget what others have, that's irrelevant. Find inner happiness....that's the secret. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m not too bad but when can we be truly happy.
When is enough is enough?
I always think there always can be someone even worse off than me. So just be thankful for your health and a little bit of happiness"
 If I break my leg and you stub your toe, it doesn’t mean your toe doesn’t hurt just because I’ve broken my leg.
Someone else being unhappy doesn’t mean you’re wrong if you’re unhappy too.
In an idea work everyone would be happy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And I mean *really* happy. With yourself, your life, your emotions etc...
Why? Why not?
If you’re not happy; what could help change that?
Are you OP?
For the most part, yes. Not having PND and D-MER would help a lot "
Hope the health visitor is supportive. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"And I mean *really* happy. With yourself, your life, your emotions etc...
Why? Why not?
If you’re not happy; what could help change that?
Are you OP?
For the most part, yes. Not having PND and D-MER would help a lot
Hope the health visitor is supportive. "
She is, she’s fantastic |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
Yes, I am. It took me a lot of time and strength to get to where I am and I'm more than. I'm lucky and comfortable in many ways.
Are there things I'd like to change? Of course. My weight needs serious shifting, I'd love to be more sexually active/explorative and less in my head/overthinking and worried they'd say no and I'd really really like to be finally accredited. But I'm a work in progress as we all are to some extent and I'm trying my hardest to be the best person I can be. I have faith this year I can do those things.
I hope that your PND does one soon QL, it's a real bugger x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No.
Can't go into why, too depressing.. Like a mood hoover actually... But
My family brother, mother.. being healthy and having enough to get by would make me so much happier.
Cant change it right now, so having to accept it.. For now. "
Acceptance of things you cannot change is healthier than denial, stressing about or fighting it. |
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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago
Durham, North Yorkshire and can travel |
"No.
Can't go into why, too depressing.. Like a mood hoover actually... But
My family brother, mother.. being healthy and having enough to get by would make me so much happier.
Cant change it right now, so having to accept it.. For now.
Acceptance of things you cannot change is healthier than denial, stressing about or fighting it. "
|
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"And I mean *really* happy. With yourself, your life, your emotions etc...
Why? Why not?
If you’re not happy; what could help change that?"
No. Because of lifes unequal balance of Ill fortune. I'm not happy with life, me, or relationships.
What can change it? A turn around in luck, stability, and like minded people. Also change myself to achieve a more positive life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t think I will ever be truly happy.
Too much baggage from childhood and guilt from when I have been a twat in the past.
Just can’t seem to let it truly go and make peace with myself.
I do the best I can. I live a decent life and consider myself as a kind person. "
Childhood, good or bad, builds our foundation for life. It takes a lot of work to rebuild our foundations when we've suffered as children, but be strong as it is possible. |
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"I’m not too bad but when can we be truly happy.
When is enough is enough?
I always think there always can be someone even worse off than me. So just be thankful for your health and a little bit of happiness
But then why should we be happy when people have it better?"
Because unfortunately the people that have it better and have most things are not really that happy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To quote Tim Minchin again:
Don’t Seek Happiness - Happiness is like an orgasm: if you think about it too much, it goes away. Keep busy and aim to make someone else happy, and you might find you get some as a side effect. We didn’t evolve to be constantly content. Contented humans got eaten before passing on their genes
Even though he's a comedian I think there's a hell of a lot of truth in what he says.
To those saying that they are not happy maybe that is the issue. Maybe a change in mindset would help you. Maybe the realisation that happiness is not a contstant state and an emotion would help. Maybe realise that you are god of you own world and no one can take that away from you. Or maybe I know nothing... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m not too bad but when can we be truly happy.
When is enough is enough?
I always think there always can be someone even worse off than me. So just be thankful for your health and a little bit of happiness
But then why should we be happy when people have it better?"
Wrong way of looking at things. Also, you don't know if those people are truly happy or if there are dark times around the corner for them. |
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"I’m not too bad but when can we be truly happy.
When is enough is enough?
I always think there always can be someone even worse off than me. So just be thankful for your health and a little bit of happiness
If I break my leg and you stub your toe, it doesn’t mean your toe doesn’t hurt just because I’ve broken my leg.
Someone else being unhappy doesn’t mean you’re wrong if you’re unhappy too.
In an idea work everyone would be happy "
Yes indeed and I totally agree.
But in general I’m happy and try to do my best but of course we as humans always have that envious/in all of us but it’s okay.
And I’m happy if you’re happy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And I mean *really* happy. With yourself, your life, your emotions etc...
Why? Why not?
If you’re not happy; what could help change that?
No. Because of lifes unequal balance of Ill fortune. I'm not happy with life, me, or relationships.
What can change it? A turn around in luck, stability, and like minded people. Also change myself to achieve a more positive life. "
Look for the silver lining...
Here's an example: I had 2 severe infections this year, both potentially fatal. They gave me the opportunity to acquire more medical knowledge  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To quote Tim Minchin again:
Don’t Seek Happiness - Happiness is like an orgasm: if you think about it too much, it goes away. Keep busy and aim to make someone else happy, and you might find you get some as a side effect. We didn’t evolve to be constantly content. Contented humans got eaten before passing on their genes
Even though he's a comedian I think there's a hell of a lot of truth in what he says.
To those saying that they are not happy maybe that is the issue. Maybe a change in mindset would help you. Maybe the realisation that happiness is not a contstant state and an emotion would help. Maybe realise that you are god of you own world and no one can take that away from you. Or maybe I know nothing..."
He also said " if you open your mind too much, your brain will fall out" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No I lost my father on New Years day"
My condolences. I hope your bereavement is uncomplicated and that at some point in the future, good memories can comfort you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No not happy more contently stable and feeling better than i have in a while but i see myself as day today tomorrow i could be a raging loony knobhead who knows |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To quote Tim Minchin again:
Don’t Seek Happiness - Happiness is like an orgasm: if you think about it too much, it goes away. Keep busy and aim to make someone else happy, and you might find you get some as a side effect. We didn’t evolve to be constantly content. Contented humans got eaten before passing on their genes
Even though he's a comedian I think there's a hell of a lot of truth in what he says.
To those saying that they are not happy maybe that is the issue. Maybe a change in mindset would help you. Maybe the realisation that happiness is not a contstant state and an emotion would help. Maybe realise that you are god of you own world and no one can take that away from you. Or maybe I know nothing...
He also said " if you open your mind too much, your brain will fall out""
Having lost mine I have to say I agree. Some of his inspirational talk are brilliant though! One of the best wordsmiths since Alan Watts |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To quote Tim Minchin again:
Don’t Seek Happiness - Happiness is like an orgasm: if you think about it too much, it goes away. Keep busy and aim to make someone else happy, and you might find you get some as a side effect. We didn’t evolve to be constantly content. Contented humans got eaten before passing on their genes
Even though he's a comedian I think there's a hell of a lot of truth in what he says.
To those saying that they are not happy maybe that is the issue. Maybe a change in mindset would help you. Maybe the realisation that happiness is not a contstant state and an emotion would help. Maybe realise that you are god of you own world and no one can take that away from you. Or maybe I know nothing...
He also said " if you open your mind too much, your brain will fall out"
Having lost mine I have to say I agree. Some of his inspirational talk are brilliant though! One of the best wordsmiths since Alan Watts"
Yup
I'd shag him |
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I have a good life, good friends and though I face, like most, trials and tribulations, the love of friendship and family is a strong anchor which brings me joy.
Happiness is fleeting, to live in joy is perpetual |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To quote Tim Minchin again:
Don’t Seek Happiness - Happiness is like an orgasm: if you think about it too much, it goes away. Keep busy and aim to make someone else happy, and you might find you get some as a side effect. We didn’t evolve to be constantly content. Contented humans got eaten before passing on their genes
Even though he's a comedian I think there's a hell of a lot of truth in what he says.
To those saying that they are not happy maybe that is the issue. Maybe a change in mindset would help you. Maybe the realisation that happiness is not a contstant state and an emotion would help. Maybe realise that you are god of you own world and no one can take that away from you. Or maybe I know nothing...
He also said " if you open your mind too much, your brain will fall out"
Having lost mine I have to say I agree. Some of his inspirational talk are brilliant though! One of the best wordsmiths since Alan Watts
Yup
I'd shag him"
Who Alan? He's been dead since the 70s but different strokes for different folks eh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And I mean *really* happy. With yourself, your life, your emotions etc...
Why? Why not?
If you’re not happy; what could help change that?
Wrong time of month to ask... Menopause, hurry up! "
I have always wondered why it is called MEN O PAUSE did a man invent it?
Periods change moods
Men have them too!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And I mean *really* happy. With yourself, your life, your emotions etc...
Why? Why not?
If you’re not happy; what could help change that?"
I be happier when all my things sort themselves out, happy to know I have an interview next week for a job near me, no more travelling around, a career move and hopefully better job prospects. Me happy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not happy in my current rented flat - but I'm looking for a new home. Fingers crossed I won't have to stay here for much longer."
we will all cross our fingers for you! Know what it is like to be unhappy with where you live. Only took me 10 years to find my forever home |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m not too bad but when can we be truly happy.
When is enough is enough?
I always think there always can be someone even worse off than me. So just be thankful for your health and a little bit of happiness
But then why should we be happy when people have it better?
Wrong way of looking at things. Also, you don't know if those people are truly happy or if there are dark times around the corner for them. "
One of the drawbacks of social media is it encourages us to compare our lives to others'. It seldom brings anything but dissatisfaction. Plus as is stated here it's often nothing more than an illusion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No not happy more contently stable and feeling better than i have in a while but i see myself as day today tomorrow i could be a raging loony knobhead who knows"
Is that not something to look forward to? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And I mean *really* happy. With yourself, your life, your emotions etc...
Why? Why not?
If you’re not happy; what could help change that?
I be happier when all my things sort themselves out, happy to know I have an interview next week for a job near me, no more travelling around, a career move and hopefully better job prospects. Me happy "
Wonderful news. Good luck. |
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Ive been happier and ive been massively not ok. At present im mostly bored. My "meaning" got lost as friends and work colleagues moved on with their lives and i got stuck in a rut. Without the people who were central to my passion its hard to feel motivated. Also lacking a SO takes its toll in your 30s when you want more than the weekend piss up. Wanting someone to share a passion with and make life vital... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm fairly open anout thecfactvi tried to kill myself in 2018. I posted on my FB on NYE that 2019 was the year I fell in love with being alive again and I truly did. Being happy is hard to define but I'm happy with my lit right now and that feels pretty great |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Trust me menopause isn’t much better "
I have been perimenopausel for about 7 years. The cessation of bleeding will be an improvement, I also expect my hormones to settle and brain fog to lift. |
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Yes completely
Family all healthy
Daughter doing well even tho she has me as a dad
Career on course and financially rewarding
Dog bat shit mental but love her to bits
And I have lou the most amazing woman I've ever had the privilege to call my partner
Ray |
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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago
Craggy Island |
"And I mean *really* happy. With yourself, your life, your emotions etc...
Why? Why not?
If you’re not happy; what could help change that?"
Is anybody really happy, as for me no and a shit load of money would help. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I found myself in a dark state just over 3 years ago. I come across audible (just used the free trail) i download a book called THE SECRET i listened to it. I just kept an open mind and thought ok im going to try this. It worked for me. Im now in a much better place. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No not happy more contently stable and feeling better than i have in a while but i see myself as day today tomorrow i could be a raging loony knobhead who knows
Is that not something to look forward to? "
no hes been in charge last few weeks time to try put him in the box |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm fairly open anout thecfactvi tried to kill myself in 2018. I posted on my FB on NYE that 2019 was the year I fell in love with being alive again and I truly did. Being happy is hard to define but I'm happy with my lit right now and that feels pretty great"
Reincarnation and fear of having to repeat this crap called life keeps me living. Whatever caused your turn around, celebrate it |
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By *zQTWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere |
"And I mean *really* happy. With yourself, your life, your emotions etc...
Why? Why not?
If you’re not happy; what could help change that?
Is anybody really happy, as for me no and a shit load of money would help. "
Share the shit load of money and happiness when you get it lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No not happy more contently stable and feeling better than i have in a while but i see myself as day today tomorrow i could be a raging loony knobhead who knows
Is that not something to look forward to? no hes been in charge last few weeks time to try put him in the box"
You're the boss |
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Yes and no had a rough few years. But I've worked hard with support of some amazing people. And I'm genuinely feeling positive for the future which I never have done before.
PND is a horrible thing, didn't feel like I connected with my eldest child because of it. It will improve with time x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes completely
Family all healthy
Daughter doing well even tho she has me as a dad
Career on course and financially rewarding
Dog bat shit mental but love her to bits
And I have lou the most amazing woman I've ever had the privilege to call my partner
Ray"
that is so lovely to hear |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And I mean *really* happy. With yourself, your life, your emotions etc...
Why? Why not?
If you’re not happy; what could help change that?"
Generally, yes. Temporarily unhappy because no one wants to meet tonight - but that’s all. |
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"Yes completely
Family all healthy
Daughter doing well even tho she has me as a dad
Career on course and financially rewarding
Dog bat shit mental but love her to bits
And I have lou the most amazing woman I've ever had the privilege to call my partner
Ray
that is so lovely to hear "
Life's not always been good I've had some real shite in my life more than most I suspect ! But you suck it up and use life experiences to make you stronger and appreciate that no amount of money or status will ever bring you true happiness |
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"I’m not too bad but when can we be truly happy.
When is enough is enough?
I always think there always can be someone even worse off than me. So just be thankful for your health and a little bit of happiness
But then why should we be happy when people have it better?
Wrong way of looking at things. Also, you don't know if those people are truly happy or if there are dark times around the corner for them.
One of the drawbacks of social media is it encourages us to compare our lives to others'. It seldom brings anything but dissatisfaction. Plus as is stated here it's often nothing more than an illusion. "
Yes indeed!!!
So that’s why people should concentrate on being themselves and do not worry about what people think they should be |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm content
I see that as more steady "
I agree with you on this. To be content is a good place to be. I think a lot look for gold standard in life and miss the point that good enough is exactly good enough |
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I'm generally a happy bunny. I learned that I have the power to change a lot of things and so I do when needed.
Some things I cannot change and it's these things that I try not to let affect my happiness. A laissez-faire approach ensures that I don't sweat the small stuff.
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Yes in a good place atm OP.
But did go through the wringer with PND twice so if you need someone to chat to? Actually now I volunteer with a charity helping women who have suffered PND. It's a bloody cruel thing x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No.
I'm lonely, my job is the same tedious mess it's been for ten years, I can't seem to shake this bout of depression."
Would having a better job make you happy? I love my job but it's not what I rely on my happiness for.
You have the ability to change everything in your life if you wish it so. Look at social groups or activities that you would enjoy and I'm sure you'll meet others who share that interest. Find a new job, one where you feel more fulfilled or retrain in something you want to do.
I feel your pain having been there myself so I'm not preaching here. Also, simple one but are you exercising? Helps loads for depression if you're active |
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By *infonyCouple
over a year ago
Halifax |
Yes. It’s an emotion that can easily change though, and when it does, we try hard to remind ourselves of how fortunate we are. Maslach’s hierarchy of needs (we’ve got food, warmth and shelter) always forces us to smile and make us feel a bit better. For most situations we’ve encountered thus far anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Happiest now than I had been for many years
I removed all ‘friends’ from my life in 2017 that were negative or draining me emotionally in some way and focused on strengthening the remaining friendships that were left. It has had an amazingly positive effect on all aspects of my life |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No.
I'm lonely, my job is the same tedious mess it's been for ten years, I can't seem to shake this bout of depression."
I hope you're getting treatment. Perhaps when things do not seem so dark, you can begin to change your circumstances. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No. Hoping getting laid might perk me up, but that course of treatment is tough to get on to.
If only on the NHS 
Have a wank.
Not even BUPA  "
You can provide your own wank. |
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I don't know if I'm happy or just a lot more relaxed than I have been. My life is still fairly chaotic, and I struggle with MH issues and a child with SEN. But I've learnt to chill out a bit, I have great friends, and I can see the positive side of things through all the stress. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
A very wise person recently said to me:
"I think it's really hard to know what happiness is until you're in it"
And it's very true - right now I have *moments* of happiness, where all is right with the world for a brief period of time but as for being completely happy I'm not sure that I am, or that I will be until I am in it. |
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"A very wise person recently said to me:
"I think it's really hard to know what happiness is until you're in it"
And it's very true - right now I have *moments* of happiness, where all is right with the world for a brief period of time but as for being completely happy I'm not sure that I am, or that I will be until I am in it."
And as usual very wise words from GM |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"A very wise person recently said to me:
"I think it's really hard to know what happiness is until you're in it"
And it's very true - right now I have *moments* of happiness, where all is right with the world for a brief period of time but as for being completely happy I'm not sure that I am, or that I will be until I am in it.
And as usual very wise words from GM "
Oh I take no credit for those - was what someone else said to me |
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"I don’t think I will ever be truly happy.
Too much baggage from childhood and guilt from when I have been a twat in the past.
Just can’t seem to let it truly go and make peace with myself.
I do the best I can. I live a decent life and consider myself as a kind person. "
Speak to your inner child xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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ok. am i happy.
i would say 65-35 in the happiness department.
why only 65%.
ive seen a few good people pass away and the ones who should of didnt lol.
life is hard. doesnt matter what or who comes into it. its damn hard.
the 35% is me not being satisfied at where i am in my life right now.
i got things going on, some good some bad. a lot of it is waiting for something to happen which will change everything in my life forever.
so ask me again next year. |
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Not quite there yet, but made some big positive changes last year and plan to continue in the same vein
Some aspects, like mental health, are harder to deal with and can rear their head again apparently from nowhere just when you think you've got a handle on it.
Sending love to anyone who's not currently feeling ok. It'll get better x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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After reading this thread IV actually realised I don't actually want to be me anymore
I think I could disappear and I don't think many would notice or miss me
Oh well never mind things can't get much worse |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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im very happy with my life some situations might not be ideal but I make the best out of them as I can.
I don't let things from the past affect how my life should be shaped or what im going to do in the future. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes and no. Sort of more yes than no.
Deeply, I'd honestly say yes.
That's tempered by a sense of dread for the world around me that is out of my control.
But what I have makes me happy. And being able to see what I want - however hard that path might be to discern at times - makes me happy in just having direction (any direction) and a sense of purpose.
Now, that wasn't always the case and if you asked me this about the middle of this year or late last year, I may have said otherwise.
But for now I'll acknowledge that the flame in my heart looks healthy and a course is set, so to speak. |
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goes a long way x 
Too many mince pies 
