FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Experience on forums?
Experience on forums?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What has been your experience within the forums? Do you find them fun, boring, controversial? Feel free to include your own description.
Do you just use them to ba a little silly and play games? Or to express your opinions? Have you ever had the brunt of people's opposing opinions and are you open to conversation about them?
And finally: Do you think people see you as a positive influence or a negative one?
xN
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A mixture of all the above.
I'm not sure how people see us but we have chatted to a few people at socials and they don't recoil in horror when we say who we are  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What has been your experience within the forums? Do you find them fun, boring, controversial? Feel free to include your own description.
Do you just use them to ba a little silly and play games? Or to express your opinions? Have you ever had the brunt of people's opposing opinions and are you open to conversation about them?
And finally: Do you think people see you as a positive influence or a negative one?
xN
"
On the first two points, all of the above. The forums can be fun, they can also be controversial and full of drama at times. But generally I use them for fun, to play games and offer advice where I can.
I like to think my contributions are positive, but that's for others to decide. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What has been your experience within the forums? Do you find them fun, boring, controversial? Feel free to include your own description.
Do you just use them to ba a little silly and play games? Or to express your opinions? Have you ever had the brunt of people's opposing opinions and are you open to conversation about them?
And finally: Do you think people see you as a positive influence or a negative one?
xN
On the first two points, all of the above. The forums can be fun, they can also be controversial and full of drama at times. But generally I use them for fun, to play games and offer advice where I can.
I like to think my contributions are positive, but that's for others to decide."
I've always seen your contributions as positive. I appreciate you helping on my very first thread! Thank you! x N |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I log on, write everything that goes through my random head then log off and leave my offline as if I was normal "
I know. No mention of watermelons, though.
xN |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A mixture of all the above.
I'm not sure how people see us but we have chatted to a few people at socials and they don't recoil in horror when we say who we are "
Same here! xN |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What has been your experience within the forums? Do you find them fun, boring, controversial? Feel free to include your own description.
Do you just use them to ba a little silly and play games? Or to express your opinions? Have you ever had the brunt of people's opposing opinions and are you open to conversation about them?
And finally: Do you think people see you as a positive influence or a negative one?
xN
On the first two points, all of the above. The forums can be fun, they can also be controversial and full of drama at times. But generally I use them for fun, to play games and offer advice where I can.
I like to think my contributions are positive, but that's for others to decide.
I've always seen your contributions as positive. I appreciate you helping on my very first thread! Thank you! x N"
You're so very welcome  .x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Chatted to some great fabster.
I live rural.. Single mum.. Forums saves my mental health. Some great posts have me laughing.. Plus I hope I've helped 1 or 2..
So forums.. Carry on foruming |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I find them fun and have befriended several people because of them.... I find some of the topics controversial but tend to steer clear of them as I've decided I don't need drama! "
Ah....you see...I'm with you mostly. Apart from the steering clear. I don't seem to be able to do that.
Must be my feisty temperament! xN
PS: I also don't like drama, but can't seem to help myself.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like them.
I play a little game called “don’t insult anyone” when I write a comment in the forums. Try and post something without anyone telling me I’m wrong.
I’ve succeeded twice  |
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Up and down. It's a great way to develop friendships that might otherwise never have happened. It's fundamentally changed, and improved, my swinging experience given the lovely people I've connected with. Including newbies and lurkers, sometimes. You get much more of a sense of people as people in a low pressure way.
Using it as a direct way to get laid will probably backfire.
It can increase attention on you, and gossip.
I find the forum goes through peaks and troughs. Times when it's an adjunct to a community or part of a community where we can foster bonds and discuss things. Other times when it seems like nothing but sniping. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I use them as stress relief, to be a bit silly, or a dreadful flirt depending on mood. I do get serious sometimes but would rather not, it makes me feel a bit dull. I delete more serious replies than silly ones. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What has been your experience within the forums? Do you find them fun, boring, controversial? Feel free to include your own description.
Do you just use them to ba a little silly and play games? Or to express your opinions? Have you ever had the brunt of people's opposing opinions and are you open to conversation about them?
And finally: Do you think people see you as a positive influence or a negative one?
xN
"
I find them all of those things. I also love the utterly pointless drama that can fill them.
I post to express an opinion not to court popularity. I'm open to discussion, theres a line where I'm just not interested in people and they can fuck off as far as I'm concerned but those that dont cross that line I don't bear grudges over time or across threads.
I really don't care. I suspect whether people view me as a positive or negative influence very much depends on whether they tend to agree with me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What has been your experience within the forums? Do you find them fun, boring, controversial? Feel free to include your own description.
Do you just use them to ba a little silly and play games? Or to express your opinions? Have you ever had the brunt of people's opposing opinions and are you open to conversation about them?
And finally: Do you think people see you as a positive influence or a negative one?
xN
I find them all of those things. I also love the utterly pointless drama that can fill them.
I post to express an opinion not to court popularity. I'm open to discussion, theres a line where I'm just not interested in people and they can fuck off as far as I'm concerned but those that dont cross that line I don't bear grudges over time or across threads.
I really don't care. I suspect whether people view me as a positive or negative influence very much depends on whether they tend to agree with me"
Don’t beat about the bush mate speak your mind  |
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"What has been your experience within the forums? Do you find them fun, boring, controversial? Feel free to include your own description.
Do you just use them to ba a little silly and play games? Or to express your opinions? Have you ever had the brunt of people's opposing opinions and are you open to conversation about them?
And finally: Do you think people see you as a positive influence or a negative one?
xN
I find them all of those things. I also love the utterly pointless drama that can fill them.
I post to express an opinion not to court popularity. I'm open to discussion, theres a line where I'm just not interested in people and they can fuck off as far as I'm concerned but those that dont cross that line I don't bear grudges over time or across threads.
I really don't care. I suspect whether people view me as a positive or negative influence very much depends on whether they tend to agree with me"
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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago
Beyond the shadows. |
"What has been your experience within the forums? Do you find them fun, boring, controversial? Feel free to include your own description. "
At some point or another it's been all of the above. At the moment I'm finding them fun.
" Do you just use them to ba a little silly and play games? Or to express your opinions? Have you ever had the brunt of people's opposing opinions and are you open to conversation about them? "
On the main I'm never really a serious person I'd much rather be silly. But on some occasion's some post's have forced me to put my serious hat on (which I really hate).
" And finally: Do you think people see you as a positive influence or a negative one?
xN
"
I'm not sure, that's a question for the the masses. However after all said and done, I really don't care all that much on how strangers perceive me. |
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They used to be a lot more fun. Seems everyone is angling for a fight or searching for some tiny inflection that means they can shout offence or claim the other person is touchy of triggered.
I am highly of sometimes getting drawn in but I'm working on not.
Bring back the Doris' and pussy posse |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They used to be a lot more fun. Seems everyone is angling for a fight or searching for some tiny inflection that means they can shout offence or claim the other person is touchy of triggered.
I am highly of sometimes getting drawn in but I'm working on not.
Bring back the Doris' and pussy posse"
Well said |
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I've been on and off fab for 3 years now and have really only been involved in the forums for about 6 months.
I generally respond to fun threads and avoid anything too obscure or heavy.
Threads started by me are usually based on my own fab experience rather than totally random.
Despite all that I'm still fairly invisible on fab but have been lucky enough to meet someone through the forums |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My experience has been great I love peoples opinions they can be controversial and sometimes boring when the same questions get asked daily
I’ve had a couple of meets from going on the forums  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've enjoyed it and met some nice people because of it.
This for me, and it’s a great way of seeing who I’d get on with and who I wouldn’t for future meets"
Yes, I agree! The forums are perfect for that!
xN |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
I enjoy reading the comments on the forums but mostly I’m drawn to the more lighthearted threads. I will comment on some serious threads but tend to read the tone and if people are spoiling for a fight I will leave them to it. If I feel strongly I will chip in but only rarely will I continue with a discussion. I don’t like the undercurrent which is sometimes present so I keep away when it’s like that.
I feel I am a positive poster, I don’t take it seriously and I’m here for a giggle. You’re an amusing lot |
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It goes through cycles on here.. I used to be pretty open and enjoyed pondering on threads for opinion. But the things that make you human can also be the things used against you so I’m not around as much anymore. They’re good for getting to know people via the socials, but proper conversation and discussion seems to be lacking these days. Far more confrontation than empathy, so for now I’ll continue to give them a wider berth. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They used to be a lot more fun. Seems everyone is angling for a fight or searching for some tiny inflection that means they can shout offence or claim the other person is touchy of triggered.
I am highly of sometimes getting drawn in but I'm working on not.
Bring back the Doris' and pussy posse"
People tend to pick an awful lot at something that probably isnt there, I'll agree |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I did find them fun and interesting and very funny.
I don't anymore.
Not sure what people think of me and my posts either. "
I get that. I went through that when I first joined, it got better and just stick to (mostly!!!) the fun bits now.
Haters will hate - if your intentions are good then let others' opinions of you become irrelevant; let them get on with it!
xN |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh and I mostly don't care what most people think of me. I call it how I see it. "
That is the best tip ever - good for you to be in a position to do that - I mostly agree, but certain things do get to me.
xN |
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By *zQTWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere |
"Fun and sometimes educational, I post when I want, to be honest I don't give a rats toosh wether people like my posts or not.....  "
This is true for me too. I also stick around for the forums |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It goes through cycles on here.. I used to be pretty open and enjoyed pondering on threads for opinion. But the things that make you human can also be the things used against you so I’m not around as much anymore. They’re good for getting to know people via the socials, but proper conversation and discussion seems to be lacking these days. Far more confrontation than empathy, so for now I’ll continue to give them a wider berth. "
I couldn't agree with you more on your opinion about your humanity getting used against you sometimes. Then other times it is all love and light.
xN |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I hate to be predictable OP, but a little of everything you mentioned.
Most of the time, I'm just here killing time with banter, though I do enjoy a topical debate.
Sure I've been on the brunt of one or two individuals perspectives, but that's the forums.
How do others see me? I've no idea, its probably down to individuals and how they choose to see me. I'd rather hope I'm respected, but I'm true to myself regardless.
Forums keep me here. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Entertaining, and the contacts I have made have all been through the forums.
I have no idea how I'm viewed, but it isn't bad enough to get banned!"
Yes, same here, with regards to how I'm being viewed. I guess it doesn't matter if you are being your self and treat people the way you'd like to be treated. But everyone prefers to be liked rather than disliked I guess? Human nature.
xN |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Over this holiday season, I have read more posts on the forums and thoroughly enjoyed them all. I have taken the time to put my own 2 penneth in and will try to partake more often x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I enjoy reading the comments on the forums but mostly I’m drawn to the more lighthearted threads. I will comment on some serious threads but tend to read the tone and if people are spoiling for a fight I will leave them to it. If I feel strongly I will chip in but only rarely will I continue with a discussion. I don’t like the undercurrent which is sometimes present so I keep away when it’s like that.
I feel I am a positive poster, I don’t take it seriously and I’m here for a giggle. You’re an amusing lot "
I definitely think you are a positive poster!! XN |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
I choose which threads to join and participate as well ass I can.
I like to be a positive person and I get messages and comments to say they like me because of my inclusions.
Just have fun and most of all......... Be nice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just come on and say whatever I think.
Someone told me I can be quite brutal at times but maybe that's my over use of sarcasm.
As for what others think I'm not sure, I tend to go pretty unnoticed. |
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Not been here long but I enjoy the forums. I steer clear of high drama and in-fighting because I come on here for a laugh, not for more stress in my life!
As to how others see me, well that's just none of my business.
Not getting involved in the high drama, I guess I pass unnoticed much of the time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just come on and say whatever I think.
Someone told me I can be quite brutal at times but maybe that's my over use of sarcasm.
As for what others think I'm not sure, I tend to go pretty unnoticed. "
I quietly perv on you |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
The forums have always been the part of the site I have spent most time on, they have peaks and troughs and some days I barely post at all, think that's partly because in three years or so I've seen most topics covered, partly because of the petty sniping and underhand comments that seem to abound lately and partly because there has been a massive turnover of forumites in the last 6 months or so and I don't know people as well as maybe I once did.
When I do post I'll give my opinion on whatever the subject is and always try to do so with balance and reasoning - if people like it then great, if they don't then so be it - I'm not here to fight.
I will say however that I have met and got to know some lovely people as a result of the forums and will forever be thankful to them for that. |
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I like it here.
In my time on the forums I experienced a bit of everything you mentioned and learned a few things. I never Google any innocent sounding phrases anymore. The best thing though is never judge a book by it's cover - an old cliché but simple.
I'm not leaving anytime soon. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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They're usually really fun and a nice place to get new information or ask questions.
Criticism - the same few profiles seems to dominate most threads and trying to get your voice across can be difficult.
Threads often get taken over and the original idea/question can be lost because people start talking about something else or messing around. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I choose which threads to join and participate as well ass I can.
I like to be a positive person and I get messages and comments to say they like me because of my inclusions.
Just have fun and most of all......... Be nice. "
You always seem nice.
Nx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The forums have always been the part of the site I have spent most time on, they have peaks and troughs and some days I barely post at all, think that's partly because in three years or so I've seen most topics covered, partly because of the petty sniping and underhand comments that seem to abound lately and partly because there has been a massive turnover of forumites in the last 6 months or so and I don't know people as well as maybe I once did.
When I do post I'll give my opinion on whatever the subject is and always try to do so with balance and reasoning - if people like it then great, if they don't then so be it - I'm not here to fight.
I will say however that I have met and got to know some lovely people as a result of the forums and will forever be thankful to them for that. "
The perfectly balanced view. Thanks for posting.
N x |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"I choose which threads to join and participate as well ass I can.
I like to be a positive person and I get messages and comments to say they like me because of my inclusions.
Just have fun and most of all......... Be nice.
You always seem nice.
Nx "
(tips hat towards lovely lady) |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I enjoy the fora - I wouldn't pop on and use them if I didn't. I don't think it's as fun as I once found it so I'm far less of an active poster, I'm not sure why that is. Turnover of regular posters, real life? There also seems to be a lot more digs and semi permanent angry posters. I deliberately avoid contentious threads and posters whereas before I would revel them. Maybe an old Meli return is overdue but fuck it's too much energy. 
I express my opinions and have fun on them, my posts are as multi-faceted as I am. I don't mind if people have opposing opinions, I welcome them in fact, it's more how they present them. Once they attack the poster I lose interest in them and their viewpoints.
There's a myriad of opinions as to how or more accurately who I am. Some will see me as positive and some as negative but the most important thing to me is I'm true to myself in how I post. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I love the forums - they’re a great place to chat and you always get such a mixed bag of results that it makes you realise, everyone is different.
It’s also a good way to meet like minded people! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to like them a lot more than I do now.
I can’t stand all the arse licking some do on here, it’s bloody nauseating.
It’s all a bit too false now though there are some people, men and women, who give honest opinions without being nasty or brown nosing.
As for me, my posts probably get read and forgotten about pretty quickly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I write mostly shite, I do it in a positive way though. I've had positive and negative responses to my posts but generally I fly under the radar. I enjoy this place for that reason though, I'm not looking to spark conversation off the back of every post I make, I'm adding my bit for what's it's worth so as not to just be lurking. The mix of personalities and the generated discussions on serious or fucking daft topics is great to read and I think it's only fair to get involved and not just read. |
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I think the forum is very much smoke and mirrors: people posting what they think people want to hear to gain popularity,rather than what they really think. Lots of fakeness (tho not the OP she's lovely) and of course the clique (cue all the clique deniers). I pretty much post what I think, if people agree ok, if they don't still ok. I can understand why newbies don't post - the forum can be brutal. It is such a small part of the whole swinging scene, but some see it as the gospel.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think the forum is very much smoke and mirrors: people posting what they think people want to hear to gain popularity,rather than what they really think. Lots of fakeness (tho not the OP she's lovely) and of course the clique (cue all the clique deniers). I pretty much post what I think, if people agree ok, if they don't still ok. I can understand why newbies don't post - the forum can be brutal. It is such a small part of the whole swinging scene, but some see it as the gospel.
"
Exactly my view too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think the forum is very much smoke and mirrors: people posting what they think people want to hear to gain popularity,rather than what they really think. Lots of fakeness (tho not the OP she's lovely) and of course the clique (cue all the clique deniers). I pretty much post what I think, if people agree ok, if they don't still ok. I can understand why newbies don't post - the forum can be brutal. It is such a small part of the whole swinging scene, but some see it as the gospel.
"
Sorry typos last post. Totally agree with you, a lot of capitulation on here and grovelling, it really puts me off people whether they are warmly accepting the grovelling or they are doing the grovelling themselves.
I have thought and said what I want since day one of being a newbie on here, that is the way it should be. The obvious cliques and trolls clearly have not put me off, but I have seen them scare other newbies off unfortunately. |
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I have started threads a few times in the past to ask for opinion on how the forum can be made a friendlier place for newbies - to be shot down inflames that the forums weren't unfriendly (the irony was not lost!). Guess the unfriendliness is ingrained too much to change. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have started threads a few times in the past to ask for opinion on how the forum can be made a friendlier place for newbies - to be shot down inflames that the forums weren't unfriendly (the irony was not lost!). Guess the unfriendliness is ingrained too much to change. "
We have also started a few but rather than unfriendly behaviour we have been mostly ignored. It would seem unless you know someone in the forum your pretty much an outsider |
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"I have started threads a few times in the past to ask for opinion on how the forum can be made a friendlier place for newbies - to be shot down inflames that the forums weren't unfriendly (the irony was not lost!). Guess the unfriendliness is ingrained too much to change.
We have also started a few but rather than unfriendly behaviour we have been mostly ignored. It would seem unless you know someone in the forum your pretty much an outsider "
Who said that? .
I totally agree. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What has been your experience within the forums? Do you find them fun, boring, controversial? Feel free to include your own description.
Do you just use them to ba a little silly and play games? Or to express your opinions? Have you ever had the brunt of people's opposing opinions and are you open to conversation about them?
And finally: Do you think people see you as a positive influence or a negative one?
xN
"
I use them to have a laugh but there's a few people on here that are far to up-tight for that unfortunately so I feel alot of people have a negative few of me.
Luckily I think I'm fucking fantastic |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have started threads a few times in the past to ask for opinion on how the forum can be made a friendlier place for newbies - to be shot down inflames that the forums weren't unfriendly (the irony was not lost!). Guess the unfriendliness is ingrained too much to change.
We have also started a few but rather than unfriendly behaviour we have been mostly ignored. It would seem unless you know someone in the forum your pretty much an outsider
Who said that? .
I totally agree."
Can’t believe it it a response now what do we do lol  |
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"I have started threads a few times in the past to ask for opinion on how the forum can be made a friendlier place for newbies - to be shot down inflames that the forums weren't unfriendly (the irony was not lost!). Guess the unfriendliness is ingrained too much to change.
We have also started a few but rather than unfriendly behaviour we have been mostly ignored. It would seem unless you know someone in the forum your pretty much an outsider
Who said that? .
I totally agree.
Can’t believe it it a response now what do we do lol "
D. |
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By *ost SockMan
over a year ago
West Wales and Cardiff |
I’ve really enjoyed the forums in my years here.
I’ve made some lovely friends, talked a load of bollocks and had some great advice.
I’ve read a lot of excellent threads - some on fun stuff, some on very serious matters. Mental health issues would be a good example.
I know some people think they are cliquey and negative. Personally, I think they are a lot less like that than many forums I’ve frequented - people are a lot nicer to each other here.
That’s just my take - happy to accept others feel differently.
Thanks to all the lovely forumites who’ve made it a nice experience for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's a nice community here. I enjoy it.
Have had some good conversations and even met fellow forumites. "
We agree it’s is a real community and we both enjoy joining in from time to time. It really can brighten up a boring day |
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I'm as perfect as all the other pointy posters above.
I must enjoy the forum or I wouldn't keep coming in. It's not a habit cos i'm not regular in my posting.
I find it strange when people talk about friends and community etc as for me the forums are hugely evanescent. I don't think that transience builds community. It brings life not stability.
I guess where some see the village square I see the city centre.
My posts depend on :- Topics, Who else is in , My mood , Responses yada yada. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think the forum is very much smoke and mirrors: people posting what they think people want to hear to gain popularity,rather than what they really think. Lots of fakeness (tho not the OP she's lovely) and of course the clique (cue all the clique deniers). I pretty much post what I think, if people agree ok, if they don't still ok. I can understand why newbies don't post - the forum can be brutal. It is such a small part of the whole swinging scene, but some see it as the gospel.
"
Thank you, riverdeep! And I've never seen your threads about friendliness to newbies. I was a newbie just a few months ago, and you extended an offer to meet me for girly chat and advice, which I'm so grateful for (we need another catchup).
For the record, I do think that the forums can be a little hard, I did feel slightly ignored when I first started posting, but that's because I didn't know any of the dynamics, the characters, the posters. It didn't bother me, but I could see how it would bother other, less confident people.
xNiki |
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"I think the forum is very much smoke and mirrors: people posting what they think people want to hear to gain popularity,rather than what they really think. Lots of fakeness (tho not the OP she's lovely) and of course the clique (cue all the clique deniers). I pretty much post what I think, if people agree ok, if they don't still ok. I can understand why newbies don't post - the forum can be brutal. It is such a small part of the whole swinging scene, but some see it as the gospel.
Thank you, riverdeep! And I've never seen your threads about friendliness to newbies. I was a newbie just a few months ago, and you extended an offer to meet me for girly chat and advice, which I'm so grateful for (we need another catchup).
For the record, I do think that the forums can be a little hard, I did feel slightly ignored when I first started posting, but that's because I didn't know any of the dynamics, the characters, the posters. It didn't bother me, but I could see how it would bother other, less confident people.
xNiki"
The dynamic changes more frequently than I change my socks. |
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"I have started threads a few times in the past to ask for opinion on how the forum can be made a friendlier place for newbies - to be shot down inflames that the forums weren't unfriendly (the irony was not lost!). Guess the unfriendliness is ingrained too much to change.
We have also started a few but rather than unfriendly behaviour we have been mostly ignored. It would seem unless you know someone in the forum your pretty much an outsider
Who said that? .
I totally agree.
Can’t believe it it a response now what do we do lol "
Paaaannnniiicccc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The forum is the element of the site I use most. The people I’ve got to know and using it are the reasons I stay on the site. I use it and experience it in many of the ways described in the OP. If I stopped liking it and no longer wished to meet I’d be gone. It has good times and bad times but I steer clear of as much negativity and controversy as possible and do my own thing and post my own brand of bollocks based on my stream of consciousness. I’ve learned a lot about sexual possibilities. It has fuelled my imagination with things I want to explore and help me understand and own my sexuality and with help from a few forum friends love and accept myself more. I can talk to friends I have met on the forum openly about things I haven’t been able to broach outside of Fab and I’m a better person now because of it. |
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By *VineMan
over a year ago
The right place |
I blow hot and cold with the forums. Recently I’ve not posted that much. I read more threads than I post on. There are a lot of nice people here but one or two too many dickheads than there used to be. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think they are fun and a good way to fill the spare time I have
I wouldn't be on fab if the forums didn't exist. I've talked to some genuinely lovely people because of the forums and it definitely reminds you that there are some good people on this website. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I find them all of those things. I also love the utterly pointless drama that can fill them.
I post to express an opinion not to court popularity. I'm open to discussion, theres a line where I'm just not interested in people and they can fuck off as far as I'm concerned but those that dont cross that line I don't bear grudges over time or across threads.
I really don't care. I suspect whether people view me as a positive or negative influence very much depends on whether they tend to agree with me"
This
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They seem to go through cycles ... sometimes very serious, sometimes slightly insidious, but often fun and light hearted
I sometimes post opinions, pass comment, roll eyes, respond with an arid sardonic humour
I think people find me mildly amusing, but that's up to others to decide really
I am just monkey |
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"What has been your experience within the forums? Do you find them fun, boring, controversial? Feel free to include your own description.
Do you just use them to ba a little silly and play games? Or to express your opinions? Have you ever had the brunt of people's opposing opinions and are you open to conversation about them?
And finally: Do you think people see you as a positive influence or a negative one?
xN
"
Hello OP
I found the forums back in May last year when I was ill in bed for a few weeks. I found them hilarious in their randomness, and liberating in that I could discuss things openly which I'd never discussed before.
I can identify with feeling like nobody talks to you at first: it's a bit like joining any new club, I think! It can take a while to get to know the other regulars. Then just as soon as you do, the people change... Now I don't bother about whether a post or thread of mine gets any response, whereas I really did initially - sometimes you strike a chord with people, other times you don't. It's rarely personal.
I am generally positive in life and I think I am on here, too. One thing I cannot stand is being misrepresented, though. That's when you'll see me coming out fighting! It's pretty rare. Mostly I think I'm hilarious, I flirt obviously and clunkily, and occasionally I enjoy a bit of navel gazing.
Mrs TMN x |
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"They’re not what they used to be.
They were so much livelier when I first joined. "
Maybe it was the novely Rachel. Who knows but I feel they were much more interactive and fun a while back ..... There was less sentiment that's for sure. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"They’re not what they used to be.
They were so much livelier when I first joined.
Maybe it was the novely Rachel. Who knows but I feel they were much more interactive and fun a while back ..... There was less sentiment that's for sure. "
Why do you both think they've changed so much? Same question to Vine, if he sees this?
xN |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They’re not what they used to be.
They were so much livelier when I first joined.
Maybe it was the novely Rachel. Who knows but I feel they were much more interactive and fun a while back ..... There was less sentiment that's for sure. "
I think they were too, but I just evolve my use as they change. Some of the big characters leaving has definitely changed the dynamic also the advent of more separate message boards has cut down the crossover topics in the Lounge and reduced the sparks. The change in the mix of Fab membership as it has grown has changed it too. |
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I enjoy the forums, it’s great reading the posts of similar-minded folk from miles away (although can be frustrating as you often ‘click’ with someone you’ll never meet), and making new friends you would never have known otherwise.
I like to have a laugh and a joke, and some people don’t get irony  I enjoy observing the banter and bitching of the cliques, and I love the private messages I receive as the consequence of my brutally honest posts. If you’ve messaged me and then done that highly mature action of immediately blocking me so I cannot reply, you’ll know what I mean
Overall, I love the forums!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They’re not what they used to be.
They were so much livelier when I first joined.
Maybe it was the novely Rachel. Who knows but I feel they were much more interactive and fun a while back ..... There was less sentiment that's for sure. "
Perhaps it was a novelty but there seemed much more posting than now. Sometimes you look and nothing much has been posted on any thread.
Dead in the water threads used to turn into silly threads that were great fun but we just get bans now for hijacking them.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"They’re not what they used to be.
They were so much livelier when I first joined.
Maybe it was the novely Rachel. Who knows but I feel they were much more interactive and fun a while back ..... There was less sentiment that's for sure.
Perhaps it was a novelty but there seemed much more posting than now. Sometimes you look and nothing much has been posted on any thread.
Dead in the water threads used to turn into silly threads that were great fun but we just get bans now for hijacking them.
"
Really? I've seen lots of people posts irrelevant content on threads... I wasn't aware it was against the rules.
xN |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"ooops....... yeah .... deliberate highjacking is but changing direction a little wouldn't get you a knee capping."
It did at one point. It drove me off here for a while. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am a regular forumiter and I have been here years, it is comedy gold. I like to browse through the forum, post and make threads, did I also mention that you can find me in the politics section? Yes there too |
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It totally depends on my mood and if a thread engages me. I love a good debate and the forums can be good for that. Other times I feel like being silly. I do love the private chats that follow on from a thread. Have had some excellent advice on make up recently which was really appreciated.
One thing I do not like is getting involved in people's personal arguements. And I will block those who pull me into their dramas. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What has been your experience within the forums? Do you find them fun, boring, controversial? Feel free to include your own description.
Do you just use them to ba a little silly and play games? Or to express your opinions? Have you ever had the brunt of people's opposing opinions and are you open to conversation about them?
And finally: Do you think people see you as a positive influence or a negative one?
xN
I use them to have a laugh but there's a few people on here that are far to up-tight for that unfortunately so I feel alot of people have a negative few of me.
Luckily I think I'm fucking fantastic"
You are fantastic. Some of us appreciate you. The rest are just jealous |
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I try to be a positive poster. Theres too much negativity about so I try and balance it out. I find the support offered to strangers on here really uplifting. Of course there are negative nellys but its balanced out. I love the threads that make me think, maybe change my opinion about things x |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"I try to be a positive poster. Theres too much negativity about so I try and balance it out. I find the support offered to strangers on here really uplifting. Of course there are negative nellys but its balanced out. I love the threads that make me think, maybe change my opinion about things x"
More nice people than rude & negative ones is the goal to a happy fab life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Whenever I see a lovely positive thread created with the best of intentions and a tribute to how love can be put into words.....
I have a bet with myself how long it will take before it turns into a slagging match. More often than not I give the forumites more credit than they deserve...
But there are some lovely people on here and in only 9 days I get to meet four of them at once. Something I am truly grateful for. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I try to be a positive poster. Theres too much negativity about so I try and balance it out. I find the support offered to strangers on here really uplifting. Of course there are negative nellys but its balanced out. I love the threads that make me think, maybe change my opinion about things x
More nice people than rude & negative ones is the goal to a happy fab life. "
I agree, and I also agree that Raven is always positive! Not seen a cross word from her - ever.
xN |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"I try to be a positive poster. Theres too much negativity about so I try and balance it out. I find the support offered to strangers on here really uplifting. Of course there are negative nellys but its balanced out. I love the threads that make me think, maybe change my opinion about things x
More nice people than rude & negative ones is the goal to a happy fab life.
I agree, and I also agree that Raven is always positive! Not seen a cross word from her - ever.
xN"
I can try and change that. Lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Whenever I see a lovely positive thread created with the best of intentions and a tribute to how love can be put into words.....
I have a bet with myself how long it will take before it turns into a slagging match. More often than not I give the forumites more credit than they deserve...
But there are some lovely people on here and in only 9 days I get to meet four of them at once. Something I am truly grateful for."
I know the kind of threads you are talking about, and yes, you're right, it's sad to see negative people spoil them... xN |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I try to be a positive poster. Theres too much negativity about so I try and balance it out. I find the support offered to strangers on here really uplifting. Of course there are negative nellys but its balanced out. I love the threads that make me think, maybe change my opinion about things x
More nice people than rude & negative ones is the goal to a happy fab life.
I agree, and I also agree that Raven is always positive! Not seen a cross word from her - ever.
xN
I can try and change that. Lol "
You're too nice for that, Chunky Gent! xxN |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Whenever I see a lovely positive thread created with the best of intentions and a tribute to how love can be put into words.....
I have a bet with myself how long it will take before it turns into a slagging match. More often than not I give the forumites more credit than they deserve...
But there are some lovely people on here and in only 9 days I get to meet four of them at once. Something I am truly grateful for.
I know the kind of threads you are talking about, and yes, you're right, it's sad to see negative people spoil them... xN"
I notice it happens when someone says something great and they get a lot of thumbs up, a lot of haters who never get a positive reaction tend to shit all over someone else's great comment. It's almost as if negative attention for them is better than no attention at all. |
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By *edVelveteenCouple
over a year ago
Heaven in the Midlands |
I started on the forums cos I don't like chat rooms and I wanted us to be more involved than just winks and fabs. I like to offer advice and I hope that it's helpful. Some are obviously here to stir the pot a bit and others come up with some good games we like to participate in. All in all, it's a bit of craic. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Whenever I see a lovely positive thread created with the best of intentions and a tribute to how love can be put into words.....
I have a bet with myself how long it will take before it turns into a slagging match. More often than not I give the forumites more credit than they deserve...
But there are some lovely people on here and in only 9 days I get to meet four of them at once. Something I am truly grateful for.
I know the kind of threads you are talking about, and yes, you're right, it's sad to see negative people spoil them... xN
I notice it happens when someone says something great and they get a lot of thumbs up, a lot of haters who never get a positive reaction tend to shit all over someone else's great comment. It's almost as if negative attention for them is better than no attention at all."
I do think we have a fair few keyboard warriors around here. Some of the responses I read are just awful - like there is no way you'd speak to someone face to face like that. Why do it when you are hiding behind the internet? My philosophy is to always reply the way I would if I was looking at someone in the eyes. I do have a bit of a termperament, and I'm a bit feisty, but if someone gets it, they have generally been abusive or unreasonable to others. xN |
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"I try to be a positive poster. Theres too much negativity about so I try and balance it out. I find the support offered to strangers on here really uplifting. Of course there are negative nellys but its balanced out. I love the threads that make me think, maybe change my opinion about things x
More nice people than rude & negative ones is the goal to a happy fab life.
I agree, and I also agree that Raven is always positive! Not seen a cross word from her - ever.
xN"
I usually delete my ranty ones. Find it hard to fully Express myself in a post/message. Easier in person x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Whenever I see a lovely positive thread created with the best of intentions and a tribute to how love can be put into words.....
I have a bet with myself how long it will take before it turns into a slagging match. More often than not I give the forumites more credit than they deserve...
But there are some lovely people on here and in only 9 days I get to meet four of them at once. Something I am truly grateful for.
I know the kind of threads you are talking about, and yes, you're right, it's sad to see negative people spoil them... xN
I notice it happens when someone says something great and they get a lot of thumbs up, a lot of haters who never get a positive reaction tend to shit all over someone else's great comment. It's almost as if negative attention for them is better than no attention at all.
I do think we have a fair few keyboard warriors around here. Some of the responses I read are just awful - like there is no way you'd speak to someone face to face like that. Why do it when you are hiding behind the internet? My philosophy is to always reply the way I would if I was looking at someone in the eyes. I do have a bit of a termperament, and I'm a bit feisty, but if someone gets it, they have generally been abusive or unreasonable to others. xN"
I used to have that approach but it seems that only those who react to personal attacks have action taken against them. In a recent attack on a particularly lovely thread a keyboard warrior launched a viscous and person attack on the OP. A number of forumites reported these comments. The people who reported the comments were given lengthy bans. The OP left the site. The keyboard warrior had her comments removed with no ban. So now I just don't feed the keyboard warriors and skim over comments from people who deliberately provoke others into saying something that contravenes forum rules. |
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I'm just here to chat/flirt and perv tbh
I'll throw a comment in if I am Interested in the thread but am very guilty of not going back to my comment to see if someone has quoted or replied unless it's my thread of course, I tend to avoid the negative threads |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm just here to chat/flirt and perv tbh
I'll throw a comment in if I am Interested in the thread but am very guilty of not going back to my comment to see if someone has quoted or replied unless it's my thread of course, I tend to avoid the negative threads "
It's a good policy. If people say horrible things to get attention, why reward them with that attention. Report. Move on. The system is there, let's use it to make this forum a nicer place for all of us. |
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I'm predominantly seen, with honesty, as a positive influence. I'm not adding much to the humour here but generally a highly reliable source of sensible practical common sense perspectives on matters with some helpful pointers.
I'm occasionally a little pointed, slightly annoying for some I'm fairly sure but, on balance, I'll have some love for you, if you're respectful, whoever you are.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I enjoy the fora because of the variety of opinions and experiences. I try to be supportive and positive. I don't think I have read many hateful posts but just people with different views. "
Different views are important. Imagine if we all agreed with everything each of us says?
It is important for each of us to remember to debate the subject matter not attack the person with the opinion. People who can't handle others having differing opinions shouldn't get into debates. I think it all hinges around respect. I see so much respect at swingers clubs, I don't see why we can't have the same respect for each other on the forums.
The moderators have a difficult and time consuming job so let's make it easier for them by just letting the good inside all of us shine |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
There is an ebb and flow to them. At times they are very fun and lively and I may post more. Other times they are very ranty and negative and i'll avoid. Sometimes i'm just content to be a lurker. You get a different insight just observing rather than participating. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"In some ways they can also be multifaceted. I've become aware of layers of meaning behind things as I've posted more. Sometimes good, sometimes not. "
But don't you think that can be down to your own intepretation/views on a poster or just your headspace? I've had a couple of incidents where I've been woefully misconstrued on here and even after clarification it feels a bit like banging your head against the wall. People interpret posts differently - some can see your humour, others not. I know sometimes I've read too much into a throwaway remark in the past. |
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"In some ways they can also be multifaceted. I've become aware of layers of meaning behind things as I've posted more. Sometimes good, sometimes not.
But don't you think that can be down to your own intepretation/views on a poster or just your headspace? I've had a couple of incidents where I've been woefully misconstrued on here and even after clarification it feels a bit like banging your head against the wall. People interpret posts differently - some can see your humour, others not. I know sometimes I've read too much into a throwaway remark in the past."
Possibly. It's one reason why I don't talk about it much. I just do the best I can with what I can figure out. |
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