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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Do you think they should allow more granular searching to allow those playing away / people open to playing away to have fun without bringing it to the attention of others. Recently I received a stream of ill judged abuse simply for the lifestyle I chose to live. Previously I felt fabs was very a very inclusive place.
Ps this thread isn’t asking for forgiveness or approval.  |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
No I don't think so. People will still just lie about their marital status, particularly when they realise via the new search facility that very few people are actively looking to meet cheats. I can't really see much benefit in it.
I'd rather they introduce new features that benefit everyone, not just those playing away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No I don't think so. People will still just lie about their marital status, particularly when they realise via the new search facility that very few people are actively looking to meet cheats. I can't really see much benefit in it.
I'd rather they introduce new features that benefit everyone, not just those playing away. "
This.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you think they should allow more granular searching to allow those playing away / people open to playing away to have fun without bringing it to the attention of others. Recently I received a stream of ill judged abuse simply for the lifestyle I chose to live. Previously I felt fabs was very a very inclusive place.
Ps this thread isn’t asking for forgiveness or approval. "
Being cheated on myself
I despise anyone who thinks that it's okay to be dishonest. Fine you want sex... Be honest counts more. Lots of people want sex for different reasons. If I am told from the beginning I then know you are not for me. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
nope.... for most people swinging involves the trust of the person they profess to love more than any other...
playing away without permission is almost by definition the opposite of that..
no judgements.... it is what it is
you ask people to understand where you come from, but you also need to understand wheres others come from too.... and why they may be repulsed by what you are doing.... |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
"But this site is also used for singles to meet singles. It’s not exclusive to swingers despite its name. "
Singles can already find singles quite easily on here though, without adding a "cheat" search function. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"nope.... for most people swinging involves the trust of the person they profess to love more than any other...
playing away without permission is almost by definition the opposite of that..
no judgements.... it is what it is
you ask people to understand where you come from, but you also need to understand wheres others come from too.... and why they may be repulsed by what you are doing...."
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I’ve met many women who want to remain anonymous and are in family life / bored marriages etc. What I’m saying is why not allow them to find each other without bringing it to the attention. Many statements in this thread are exactly what is trying to be avoided. |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
"I’ve met many women who want to remain anonymous and are in family life / bored marriages etc. What I’m saying is why not allow them to find each other without bringing it to the attention. Many statements in this thread are exactly what is trying to be avoided. "
No offence or judgement intended here, but what do I get out of that? And the vast majority of people who aren't cheating? We pay our membership money too, and would rather that money is spent on improvements for ALL. |
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"I’ve met many women who want to remain anonymous and are in family life / bored marriages etc. What I’m saying is why not allow them to find each other without bringing it to the attention. Many statements in this thread are exactly what is trying to be avoided. "
There are sites for those wishing to have relationships beside their spouses back. This is swinging it’s just ‘cba so going to fuck others’ never a valid excuse in my book. There are sites for married people wanting sex outside of a monogamous relationship - this isn’t the definition of swinging. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So back to my original point. If you could make a selection in your profile that would allow someone like me to filter you out, you don’t see value in that?
I would love to only talk to women who were sympathetic / in the same situation. |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
"So back to my original point. If you could make a selection in your profile that would allow someone like me to filter you out, you don’t see value in that?
I would love to only talk to women who were sympathetic / in the same situation. "
No, because very few would honestly use it. All the cheats aren't going to suddenly become truthful because a message filter is introduced. So no value to me, and the majority, whatsoever. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"I’ve met many women who want to remain anonymous and are in family life / bored marriages etc. What I’m saying is why not allow them to find each other without bringing it to the attention. Many statements in this thread are exactly what is trying to be avoided.
There are sites for those wishing to have relationships beside their spouses back. This is swinging it’s just ‘cba so going to fuck others’ never a valid excuse in my book. There are sites for married people wanting sex outside of a monogamous relationship - this isn’t the definition of swinging. "
they dont use those site because
a) stigma
b) they cost a lot of money! (hey.. why pay when you can use here for free!) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I cant stand cheating, dishonest people really turn me off. I get the naughtiness of it might turn some people on but is it all really worth it? "
If a really attractive married lady wanted to meet you and said it was behind her husband's back....you would say no ? |
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"I cant stand cheating, dishonest people really turn me off. I get the naughtiness of it might turn some people on but is it all really worth it?
If a really attractive married lady wanted to meet you and said it was behind her husband's back....you would say no ?"
Of course! Is that so hard to believe? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I cant stand cheating, dishonest people really turn me off. I get the naughtiness of it might turn some people on but is it all really worth it?
If a really attractive married lady wanted to meet you and said it was behind her husband's back....you would say no ?
Of course! Is that so hard to believe?"
Honestly yes it's hard to believe from someone on a swingers site...you must see that aswell |
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"I cant stand cheating, dishonest people really turn me off. I get the naughtiness of it might turn some people on but is it all really worth it?
If a really attractive married lady wanted to meet you and said it was behind her husband's back....you would say no ?
Of course! Is that so hard to believe?
Honestly yes it's hard to believe from someone on a swingers site...you must see that aswell"
As someone said earlier swinging isnt cheating. I'm not talking about swinging! Nothing wrong with that if that's what the couples want to do for fun. It's the lying and just plain betrayal of cheating I cant stand. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I cant stand cheating, dishonest people really turn me off. I get the naughtiness of it might turn some people on but is it all really worth it?
If a really attractive married lady wanted to meet you and said it was behind her husband's back....you would say no ?
Of course! Is that so hard to believe?
Honestly yes it's hard to believe from someone on a swingers site...you must see that aswell
As someone said earlier swinging isnt cheating. I'm not talking about swinging! Nothing wrong with that if that's what the couples want to do for fun. It's the lying and just plain betrayal of cheating I cant stand. "
I very much get what you are saying ... but in general most guys on here, would probably jump a glove puppet, if it nodded at them.... |
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"I cant stand cheating, dishonest people really turn me off. I get the naughtiness of it might turn some people on but is it all really worth it?
If a really attractive married lady wanted to meet you and said it was behind her husband's back....you would say no ?
Of course! Is that so hard to believe?
Honestly yes it's hard to believe from someone on a swingers site...you must see that aswell
As someone said earlier swinging isnt cheating. I'm not talking about swinging! Nothing wrong with that if that's what the couples want to do for fun. It's the lying and just plain betrayal of cheating I cant stand.
I very much get what you are saying ... but in general most guys on here, would probably jump a glove puppet, if it nodded at them...."
Oh yeah I dont doubt that for a minute. We're a scummy species on average haha |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"
If a really attractive married lady wanted to meet you and said it was behind her husband's back....you would say no ?"
oh i can answer that.... but it comes with a story
when i started would have done that... yep!
now "x" years in, would i do it now? nope!
so... what changed.... ask me what changed me!
so like i said.. i have been doing this "x" years now... i went to (and still go to) a lot of parties... and there were loads of other singles at these parties, and there was one that really respected and was respected across the swinging community....
so i see him at a party once saturday night.... and then get frantic calls on monday afternoon...
"had i seen him drinking?" nope tee totalled!... "drugs?" never!..."acting oddly in anyway" nicest guys id known!
why???
because on that saturday night he had gone home, been in a one-person accident on the motorway and killed instantly!
and thats when we found out that single guys wasn't quite as single as he said he was.... wife, children
and his wife had found his account details...
now this is where you say "well i am more secure that that, it would never happen to me!"..... I'm here to tell you, you are not as bulletproof as you like to think!
so.... anyway, she came on the site, and let out a ton of posts and you could tell she would hurt and angry...... and it was at that point i swore i wouldn't, because there is another person out there, and they were an innocent party!
so yeah... you might not say this is what the thread is about...... but you have to understand this is what it will be for some people. they won't want to be part of your deceit......
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
If a really attractive married lady wanted to meet you and said it was behind her husband's back....you would say no ?
oh i can answer that.... but it comes with a story
when i started would have done that... yep!
now "x" years in, would i do it now? nope!
so... what changed.... ask me what changed me!
so like i said.. i have been doing this "x" years now... i went to (and still go to) a lot of parties... and there were loads of other singles at these parties, and there was one that really respected and was respected across the swinging community....
so i see him at a party once saturday night.... and then get frantic calls on monday afternoon...
"had i seen him drinking?" nope tee totalled!... "drugs?" never!..."acting oddly in anyway" nicest guys id known!
why???
because on that saturday night he had gone home, been in a one-person accident on the motorway and killed instantly!
and thats when we found out that single guys wasn't quite as single as he said he was.... wife, children
and his wife had found his account details...
now this is where you say "well i am more secure that that, it would never happen to me!"..... I'm here to tell you, you are not as bulletproof as you like to think!
so.... anyway, she came on the site, and let out a ton of posts and you could tell she would hurt and angry...... and it was at that point i swore i wouldn't, because there is another person out there, and they were an innocent party!
so yeah... you might not say this is what the thread is about...... but you have to understand this is what it will be for some people. they won't want to be part of your deceit......
"
A sad story for his wife to have those last memories of him. |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
"No I don't think so. People will still just lie about their marital status, particularly when they realise via the new search facility that very few people are actively looking to meet cheats. I can't really see much benefit in it.
I'd rather they introduce new features that benefit everyone, not just those playing away. "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I recently got a ton. Anyway. Every time I post something like this in here I get the same response... but I also get a couple of message on the side from curious women. So thankyou all |
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By *yesgreenMan
over a year ago
north and south |
"I haven’t once received abuse in 10 years on here.
You're not trying hard enough.  "
Two sides to victory or every coin ,You profess to love someone and ask if it's ok to swing , They may agree reluctantly to keep you happy!!! It happens |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
If a really attractive married lady wanted to meet you and said it was behind her husband's back....you would say no ?
oh i can answer that.... but it comes with a story
when i started would have done that... yep!
now "x" years in, would i do it now? nope!
so... what changed.... ask me what changed me!
so like i said.. i have been doing this "x" years now... i went to (and still go to) a lot of parties... and there were loads of other singles at these parties, and there was one that really respected and was respected across the swinging community....
so i see him at a party once saturday night.... and then get frantic calls on monday afternoon...
"had i seen him drinking?" nope tee totalled!... "drugs?" never!..."acting oddly in anyway" nicest guys id known!
why???
because on that saturday night he had gone home, been in a one-person accident on the motorway and killed instantly!
and thats when we found out that single guys wasn't quite as single as he said he was.... wife, children
and his wife had found his account details...
now this is where you say "well i am more secure that that, it would never happen to me!"..... I'm here to tell you, you are not as bulletproof as you like to think!
so.... anyway, she came on the site, and let out a ton of posts and you could tell she would hurt and angry...... and it was at that point i swore i wouldn't, because there is another person out there, and they were an innocent party!
so yeah... you might not say this is what the thread is about...... but you have to understand this is what it will be for some people. they won't want to be part of your deceit......
"
How awful for her to have to deal with grief, children and decete too  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"nope.... for most people swinging involves the trust of the person they profess to love more than any other...
playing away without permission is almost by definition the opposite of that..
no judgements.... it is what it is
you ask people to understand where you come from, but you also need to understand wheres others come from too.... and why they may be repulsed by what you are doing...."
|
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Been cheated on in a previous relationship, lies rip life’s apart .
Now I’m with joe we both love sex we talked about swinging , we both know what is going on , no lies nothing done behind the others back ,
It’s called TRUST ?? |
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