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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"tell a joke"
An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese fellow were hired at a construction site. The foreman pointed out a huge pile of sand and told the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping." To the Scotsman he said, "You're in charge of shoveling." And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."
He then said, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile."
The foreman went away for a of couple hours, and, when he returned, the pile of sand was untouched. He asked the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?" The Italian replied, "I no hava no broom. You said to the Chinese fella that he a wasa in a charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere." Then the foreman turned to the Scotsman and said, "And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile."
The Scotsman replied, "Aye, ye did lad, boot ah couldnay get meself a shoovel! Ye left th' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah couldnay fin' him either." The foreman was really angry by now and stormed off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese guy.
Just then, the Chinese guy jumped out from behind the pile of sand and yelled...
"SUPPLIES!!" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know this really slim fat chick... She's well bright but kinda dumb, she feels bad right now but good reason.. she wants me bad, wants me to smother her lithe body with my blubber.. its obvious, she just don't quite know how to tell me...
Any advice??  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"tell a joke
An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese fellow were hired at a construction site. The foreman pointed out a huge pile of sand and told the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping." To the Scotsman he said, "You're in charge of shoveling." And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."
He then said, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile."
The foreman went away for a of couple hours, and, when he returned, the pile of sand was untouched. He asked the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?" The Italian replied, "I no hava no broom. You said to the Chinese fella that he a wasa in a charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere." Then the foreman turned to the Scotsman and said, "And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile."
The Scotsman replied, "Aye, ye did lad, boot ah couldnay get meself a shoovel! Ye left th' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah couldnay fin' him either." The foreman was really angry by now and stormed off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese guy.
Just then, the Chinese guy jumped out from behind the pile of sand and yelled...
"SUPPLIES!!""
I'M ASHAMED! NEVER SAW IT COMING AND LAUGHED OUT LOUD X x X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"tell a joke
An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese fellow were hired at a construction site. The foreman pointed out a huge pile of sand and told the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping." To the Scotsman he said, "You're in charge of shoveling." And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."
He then said, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile."
The foreman went away for a of couple hours, and, when he returned, the pile of sand was untouched. He asked the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?" The Italian replied, "I no hava no broom. You said to the Chinese fella that he a wasa in a charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere." Then the foreman turned to the Scotsman and said, "And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile."
The Scotsman replied, "Aye, ye did lad, boot ah couldnay get meself a shoovel! Ye left th' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah couldnay fin' him either." The foreman was really angry by now and stormed off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese guy.
Just then, the Chinese guy jumped out from behind the pile of sand and yelled...
"SUPPLIES!!"
I'M ASHAMED! NEVER SAW IT COMING AND LAUGHED OUT LOUD X x X "
:   |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I know this really slim fat chick... She's well bright but kinda dumb, she feels bad right now but good reason.. she wants me bad, wants me to smother her lithe body with my blubber.. its obvious, she just don't quite know how to tell me...
Any advice?? "
lose weight and she might do ya i heard she dont do fat blubbers lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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wifey gets all naked and then asks hubby..
What turns you on most, my pouting red lips? My Pretty face?? The succulant 38dd tits??? My tight little pussy or my pert sexy arse??
Hubby, smiles.. looks her up and down...then replies, Nope, your sense of fu*** humour..  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"wifey gets all naked and then asks hubby..
What turns you on most, my pouting red lips? My Pretty face?? The succulant 38dd tits??? My tight little pussy or my pert sexy arse??
Hubby, smiles.. looks her up and down...then replies, Nope, your sense of fu*** humour.. "
LMAO!!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I know this really slim fat chick... She's well bright but kinda dumb, she feels bad right now but good reason.. she wants me bad, wants me to smother her lithe body with my blubber.. its obvious, she just don't quite know how to tell me...
Any advice??
lose weight and she might do ya i heard she dont do fat blubbers lol"
Does she wank?? If she wanks one porky why not try another I say lol..  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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BEE STING
A young woman had been taking golf lessons.
She had just started playing her first round of golf
When she suffered a bee sting.
Her pain was so intense that she decided to return
To the clubhouse for help and to complain.
Her golf pro saw her come into the clubhouse and
Asked, 'Why are you back in so early? What's wrong?'
'I was stung by a bee', she said.
'Where?', he asked.
'Between the first and second hole', she replied..
He nodded knowingly and said,
'Then your stance is too wide.'
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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jennys friend debbie was complaining about
a sore throat.when i have that i always
give a blowjob 2 my husband an the next
day debbie comes in singing..how did it
go? ask jenny..brillaint says debbie
your husband couldnt believe his
fucking luck or that it was ur idea!
pmsl |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Man goes to the doctors with an orange cock.... doctor says I've never seen anything like it, do you work with chemicals by any chance. Man says no I just sit around all day watching porn and eating wotsits !!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One day, a priest was walking through a forest, when he came upon a pond. On the pond was a lily-pad, and on the lily-pad was the saddest frog the priest had ever seen!
"Dear frog" the priest asked, "what is the matter? Why re you so sad?"
"Well," said the frog, "I was not always a frog."
"Tell me more" said the priest.
"One day, I was waslking through these woods when I came upon a wicked witch. 'Stand aside witch' I said to her. But alas, she called me a nasty cheeky boy and turned me into a frog."
"But that's terrible! Isn't there anything that can be done to reverse the spell?" asked the priest.
"Well" said the frog, "if a kind person were to take me home for the night, feed me and put me to sleep on their pillow, I am sure I would wake up human again."
"Well, this is your lucky day!" said the priest.
So he took the frog home, fed him and put him to sleep on his pillow. And lo and behold, when he woke up the next morning, there was a 10 year old choir boy in his bed!
"And that Your Honour, is the case for the Defence!" |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
Wife in coma.
Doc says to hubby "I think a little oral sex may revive her".
10 mins later her heart monitor flatlines.
Doc rushes in and asks hub "what happened"?
Hub replies "I think she choked". |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
2 women go on holiday to Jamaica, leaving there husbands behind.
On the first night they meet an attractive young barman, who they invite back for a 3some.
They have him back to their room all week, and on the last night, one of the women asks him his name.
'My names Snow' the guy replies.
hearing this the 2 women start pissing themselves laughing.
'What's so funny?' the barman asks.
'Well' say the women 'it's your name! Our husbands will never believe us when we tell them we've had 10 inches of snow in Jamaica all week'
Boom Boom |
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By *im53Man
over a year ago
Boldon |
its 5 degrees out side the geordie walks the street with no top on
minus 5 the geordie thinks its gettin a bit nippy
minus 15 the geordie decides to put a t shirt on
minus 30 the geordie thinks fuck this i'll put a longed sleeved t shirt on
minus 50 he thinks fuck it jumper time
minus 75 he thinks fucking hell its getting even colder
minus 100 he thinks time 4 a coat maybes
minus 120 all life form ceases 2 exist
minus 130 geordie thinks its scarf time
minus 150 all micro biological lifeform ceases 2 exist so the geordie thinks fuck this i
better go in doors
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Skydiver jumps out of the aircraft to do his first freefall.
Pulls the cord and the 1st parchute opens then tangles so he cuts it loose and pulls the reserve. Same thing happens, so he's plunging to the ground at 200mph and as he looks down he sees another guy heading up towards him, so he shouts to the guy, "Hey do you know anything about parachutes?"
As the other guy shot up past him, he replied, " No, do you know anything about gas ovens" !!! |
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A guy gets on a plane bound for New York, and ends up sitting next to a guy with a spaniel.
"Is it a guide dog?" asks the guy.
"No, a sniffer dog" says the handler, "and she can sniff out and identify 150 different scents".
"Nah, I dont believe you" says the guy, so the handler sends the dog off to sniff.
2 minutes later, the dog comes back and sits with her head cocked over to the left, looking at a guy sat a couple of rows away. "That guys got heroin on him" says the handler, making a note of the seat number.
Away goes the dog again, this time coming back to sit staring at a woman with her head cocked to the right. "Cocaine" says the handler.
The dog goes off again, but suddenly starts running up and down the aisle, and then takes a huge crap on the floor."Whats she smelled now?" asks the guy.
"A bomb!!!" says the handler. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Woman goes to the doctor.
'Doctor.' she says. 'I am very kinky and my husband is not. What can I do'
Hmmmmm Im a bit kinky msyelf says the doctor.
'Take all your clothes off and bend over'
After ten mins the doc says. You can get dressed now.
Ooooooo Doctor she says..... have you finished ? I didn't feel a thing?
Well I told you I was kinky - says the doc.
I just shit in your handbag! |
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