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Can people change from bad to good?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I was watching a christmas carol scrooge with the actor patric and I like the christmas message they gave that you can change yourself if you are bad to good, whats your view? I belive you can do it if the person really wants too  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You definitely can if you want to. The new Christmas Carol was lethal and scrooge did his best to rationalise his actions until the last ghost. I think those that don't want to change or dont see why they have to probably rationalise their attitude and behaviour and give themselves what they believe to be a valid reason for remaining bad. I dont believe there is a valid reason though, everyone should want to be good. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You definitely can if you want to. The new Christmas Carol was lethal and scrooge did his best to rationalise his actions until the last ghost. I think those that don't want to change or dont see why they have to probably rationalise their attitude and behaviour and give themselves what they believe to be a valid reason for remaining bad. I dont believe there is a valid reason though, everyone should want to be good. "
I don’t think he was bad, the point of the story was that he became that person because of what happened to him |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
Yes, kind of. But I don't think many people are all bad or all good anyway. There's a balance, and maybe you've just got to find the people that fit your balance.
I think people can work on and get rid of negative traits though, yes. |
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Yes of course, through forgiveness and love unless someone is mentally unstable then I believe bad people can be good.
However some people are just bad just as some people are just good.
But I genuinely believe that it's possible to change.
There's an interesting film on prime about the American neo nazi who went on a killing spree post 911 attacking anyone who he thought was Muslim.
Hatred and ignorance and anger.
Although he's still in jail one of his victims has managed to completely change his views and opinions through forgiveness and compassion, education and love.
He's now a completely changed man.
So yes it's possible.
Peace and love xxx |
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Yes . Ive seen it happen in a few people but theres always something major that happens in their life to trigger the change. But unfortunately people can go from good to bad depending what it is that triggers the change. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It takes the support of people around them too.
I guess you have to want to change. That's hard sometimes when people only remember the actions that were bad and never the positives. Becomes a vicious cycle.
Everyone wants to be loved
If not loved, liked.
If not liked accepted.
If not accepted, they'd rather loved to be hated. |
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"Yes, but it takes a lot of work that many don't do.
Just because someone who's hurt me has changed, doesn't mean I have to put up with them, though. "
Yes, that's a tough one. Especially as you forgiving them may help that journey.
Personally I think most of us are "set" quite early on, and the older we get the more difficult that change.
But we are also responsible (in part) for others, love and support can make that change easier. However, the person must truly want to change, which means confronting their own faults.
Most of us would rather avoid looking at ourselves in too much detail.
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If a person is bad then they always have the capacity to be bad and experience tells me they can’t change ... has the old saying goes “a leopard never changes its spots” .. so if they are a cunt whilst they are alive then they are a cunt when old and dead  |
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"Yes, but it takes a lot of work that many don't do.
Just because someone who's hurt me has changed, doesn't mean I have to put up with them, though.
Yes, that's a tough one. Especially as you forgiving them may help that journey.
Personally I think most of us are "set" quite early on, and the older we get the more difficult that change.
But we are also responsible (in part) for others, love and support can make that change easier. However, the person must truly want to change, which means confronting their own faults.
Most of us would rather avoid looking at ourselves in too much detail.
"
If someone has hurt me, it's not up to me to take them back so they can hurt me more. Or help them manage their feelings. |
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"Yes, but it takes a lot of work that many don't do.
Just because someone who's hurt me has changed, doesn't mean I have to put up with them, though. "
That's the beauty of forgiveness.
You tell that person you forgive them, you unburden yourself from all the hatred and anger then the problem they caused is also theirs to deal and live with.
Meanwhile you can get on with living your life.xx |
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"Yes, but it takes a lot of work that many don't do.
Just because someone who's hurt me has changed, doesn't mean I have to put up with them, though.
That's the beauty of forgiveness.
You tell that person you forgive them, you unburden yourself from all the hatred and anger then the problem they caused is also theirs to deal and live with.
Meanwhile you can get on with living your life.xx"
Or just forgive, forget, and cut them out.
The fact that someone has hurt me and has to deal with their shit about it is only my problem if I choose to make it so. After a certain point, I'm not interested in repairing things or helping them. If you don't want to feel bad about hurting me... Maybe don't hurt me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We all change, all the time. If we discount our own or anothers ability to change then where is our own humility. Are we judge jury and executioner, should we ever be.
Bad and good, subjective terms to describe another based on our own experiences perhaps? Is any one of us either wholly good or bad, or are these just labels based on a lazy view of others? Do good people do bad things sometimes, of course they do, and vice versa.
Good and bad are descriptions of actions, not people. Very few are entirely evil, though they do exist. Most of us can do good or bad, and often live our lives in ways that others might see us as one or the other dependent upon the situation as it may be at any one point in time.
People generally not binary at extreme ends of any spectrum. We are all human all frail at times all have the capacity to screw up our own and others lives.
Yet we all have the capacity for redemption too. Perhaps that's what makes us human?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think if there was no chance of anyone changing then that means if people are being a tw*t it's not their fault, it's just who they are.
We have to believe people can change otherwise nobody is responsible for their actions, for example it's not a murderer's fault they killed someone, it's who they are and can't change it.
It also means there no point in rewarding good behaviour because it's just who they are and didn't have a choice to do something good.
This is also why the concept of fate or destiny doesn't hold up to scrutiny, it disregards free will of humans and takes away any responsibility we may have. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You have to have an amazing amount of self awareness and control to change by any drastic amount.
However, there there are lots of smaller things we all want to improve and often can with effort +time ..
But we tend to fall back in our natural tenancies.. Like which leg you step forward on first ... Its natural and therefore harder to change |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We all evolve as people. I'm a far better and far nicer person than I was 20 years ago. Was I a bad person? Not sure but i certainly wasnt a good one and I like to think I am now |
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"We all evolve as people. I'm a far better and far nicer person than I was 20 years ago. Was I a bad person? Not sure but i certainly wasnt a good one and I like to think I am now "
Plus our circumstances shape our reactions, we learn better coping skills, we gain perspective, etc. |
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"I was watching a christmas carol scrooge with the actor patric and I like the christmas message they gave that you can change yourself if you are bad to good, whats your view? I belive you can do it if the person really wants too "
Yes. I was a horrible bastard years ago when i got in with a bad crowd. Got myself away from them, cut out booze binges and now im mr chilled, relaxed, laid back and loving life. See youths like how i was i cant believe what a bellend i was |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd like to think so. Mostly because I need to believe that I can become a better person. I wasn't always the best fiancée I could have been and it's something that has eaten me up inside these past few years.
There's a part of me that wants to be more forgiving of people who have hurt me, but at the same time if they can't acknowledge what they did and apologise without me saying something, then I'm not sure they deserve forgiveness. If you have to prompt someone to apologise, they probably don't mean it.
But like Rocky said ''If I can change and you can change, then everybody can change!'' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" It takes the support of people around them too.
I guess you have to want to change. That's hard sometimes when people only remember the actions that were bad and never the positives. Becomes a vicious cycle.
Everyone wants to be loved
If not loved, liked.
If not liked accepted.
If not accepted, they'd rather loved to be hated."
I think this is the issue I have. I want to be a better person, I really do want to become the best version of myself, but when people treat me like shit, I just don't see the point in changing.
If my current self is always going to be compared to my past self and I'm treat in the same manner as I've always been, it just makes me think I might as well stay the same because no one is willing to give me a chance to be better. I probably haven't explained this very well.
I don't think I was an irredeemable piece of shit, I had my good side and bad side, and I've made mistakes I deeply regret, but as you said people only remember the bad. |
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