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Awkward Christmas conversations
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Anyone else have to sit through awkward Christmas dinner conversations? Say through an hour of when you going bring a girl home to meet the family/we won’t bite etc.. in my head I’m thinking if they only knew right now I’m more interested in guys they would go crazy. So smiled and nodded all they way through it. |
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Be honest to yourself mate. If they don't want the best for you and your happiness they really aren't the family you need. My own family other than a select few aren't worth a toss and so I'm a big believer in true family are the ppl we choose for ourselves  |
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"Be honest to yourself mate. If they don't want the best for you and your happiness they really aren't the family you need. My own family other than a select few aren't worth a toss and so I'm a big believer in true family are the ppl we choose for ourselves "
Thank you. Need to start believing in that and be more honest to myself. Bring on 2020 |
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"Be honest to yourself mate. If they don't want the best for you and your happiness they really aren't the family you need. My own family other than a select few aren't worth a toss and so I'm a big believer in true family are the ppl we choose for ourselves
Thank you. Need to start believing in that and be more honest to myself. Bring on 2020"
Best of luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Could you not just tell them?
Have thought about it, just always can’t seem to find the right moment to say it. "
Well maybe nlt over Christmas dinner but for your own sake just get it over and done with so you can be yourself. |
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"Be honest to yourself mate. If they don't want the best for you and your happiness they really aren't the family you need. My own family other than a select few aren't worth a toss and so I'm a big believer in true family are the ppl we choose for ourselves
Thank you. Need to start believing in that and be more honest to myself. Bring on 2020
Best of luck "
Thank you |
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"Could you not just tell them?
Have thought about it, just always can’t seem to find the right moment to say it.
Well maybe nlt over Christmas dinner but for your own sake just get it over and done with so you can be yourself. "
Yeah wasn’t going to say anything then, even if I was thinking about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Be honest to yourself mate. If they don't want the best for you and your happiness they really aren't the family you need. My own family other than a select few aren't worth a toss and so I'm a big believer in true family are the ppl we choose for ourselves
Thank you. Need to start believing in that and be more honest to myself. Bring on 2020"
I would never dream of asking one of my kids when they were going to produce a partner, terrible pressure to put on people. |
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"Be honest to yourself mate. If they don't want the best for you and your happiness they really aren't the family you need. My own family other than a select few aren't worth a toss and so I'm a big believer in true family are the ppl we choose for ourselves
Thank you. Need to start believing in that and be more honest to myself. Bring on 2020
My family are the worst at that!
I would never dream of asking one of my kids when they were going to produce a partner, terrible pressure to put on people. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Live your life for yourself and not to please others OP.
Trying too :/ "
Not easy, but definitely worth it. If people love you, they will want you to be happy. |
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You need to tell your family. If they love you then it won't change anything except you will be able to live life as the real you. Living life with such a hyge secret is exhausting and isn't fair on you.
Please be true to yourself. |
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"Live your life for yourself and not to please others OP.
Trying too :/
Not easy, but definitely worth it. If people love you, they will want you to be happy. "
Yeah you’re right just need to get it out in the open |
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"You need to tell your family. If they love you then it won't change anything except you will be able to live life as the real you. Living life with such a hyge secret is exhausting and isn't fair on you.
Please be true to yourself."
It’s exhausting... mind just needs a break sometimes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You need to tell your family. If they love you then it won't change anything except you will be able to live life as the real you. Living life with such a hyge secret is exhausting and isn't fair on you.
Please be true to yourself.
It’s exhausting... mind just needs a break sometimes "
OP, Unless someone giving you the advice here has experienced coming out to their family, then they have no idea what you're going through. Always looking for that moment that you think will be the best time to do it. It's similar to telling your husband or wife that your marriage is over and you're leaving the marriage. There's no good time but there are times when its best not to bring it up, like over Xmas dinner.
You will find the time and you may be surprised by the love people have for you. If someone has difficulty with this news well this it's their issue, it's not you, it's them and they may need some time to adjust but true love will win through for you.
To have a partner at this time would possibly help for support or certainly if you have friends that you can trust to have your back. It is good to have a place to go to talk to someone who understands you.
Best wishes to you OP
Lee
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"You need to tell your family. If they love you then it won't change anything except you will be able to live life as the real you. Living life with such a hyge secret is exhausting and isn't fair on you.
Please be true to yourself.
It’s exhausting... mind just needs a break sometimes "
It absoloutely is, I am talking from experience. |
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"You need to tell your family. If they love you then it won't change anything except you will be able to live life as the real you. Living life with such a hyge secret is exhausting and isn't fair on you.
Please be true to yourself.
It’s exhausting... mind just needs a break sometimes
It absoloutely is, I am talking from experience."
Keep telling myself one day it will be easier |
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"You need to tell your family. If they love you then it won't change anything except you will be able to live life as the real you. Living life with such a hyge secret is exhausting and isn't fair on you.
Please be true to yourself.
It’s exhausting... mind just needs a break sometimes
OP, Unless someone giving you the advice here has experienced coming out to their family, then they have no idea what you're going through. Always looking for that moment that you think will be the best time to do it. It's similar to telling your husband or wife that your marriage is over and you're leaving the marriage. There's no good time but there are times when its best not to bring it up, like over Xmas dinner.
You will find the time and you may be surprised by the love people have for you. If someone has difficulty with this news well this it's their issue, it's not you, it's them and they may need some time to adjust but true love will win through for you.
To have a partner at this time would possibly help for support or certainly if you have friends that you can trust to have your back. It is good to have a place to go to talk to someone who understands you.
Best wishes to you OP
Lee
"
Thank you so much. Really appreciate it |
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"You need to tell your family. If they love you then it won't change anything except you will be able to live life as the real you. Living life with such a hyge secret is exhausting and isn't fair on you.
Please be true to yourself.
It’s exhausting... mind just needs a break sometimes
It absoloutely is, I am talking from experience.
Keep telling myself one day it will be easier "
It won't ever be easy, but you may get to the stage where you need to be open about it for your own sanity. |
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"You need to tell your family. If they love you then it won't change anything except you will be able to live life as the real you. Living life with such a hyge secret is exhausting and isn't fair on you.
Please be true to yourself.
It’s exhausting... mind just needs a break sometimes
It absoloutely is, I am talking from experience.
Keep telling myself one day it will be easier
It won't ever be easy, but you may get to the stage where you need to be open about it for your own sanity."
Think you’re right. Some days are easier then others but I look to the day when I don’t have to worry about being myself |
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"Family: what’s that bruise?
Me: blood test
Family: what for?
Me: ummm,
Yes I know we should be open about our sexual health but there are times and places!"
patiently waiting for that time and place... |
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Previous years.
My parents: (pressure about grandchildren)
Me (in my head): I suppose it's possible, but given that we all pretend that I'm a virgin so you don't slut shame me, ... do I need to explain how conception works? Because it does usually require, well, fucking. And you don't seem to believe I ever have. |
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"Previous years.
My parents: (pressure about grandchildren)
Me (in my head): I suppose it's possible, but given that we all pretend that I'm a virgin so you don't slut shame me, ... do I need to explain how conception works? Because it does usually require, well, fucking. And you don't seem to believe I ever have. "
i can totally relate to that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Could you not just tell them?
I was thinking the OP was going to be about 19 when I read his post 
my bad, though life was easier then "
I wasn’t being funny , sorry op, just initial reaction thought you’d be younger. Hope your ok |
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By *mberWoman
over a year ago
Preston |
OP I have no experience of this so I can't advise what or how. But I will say that it sounds like a hard burden to bear alone. I have two very good friends who came out and both said they felt like a huge weight had been lifted from them. Everyone who was important was accepting.
One has since gone vegan when he told his parents his dad said "look, gay I have no problem with, but this is a step too far"
It always makes me chuckle, we never know how people will react.
Good luck OP I hope you feel able to discuss it with them xxx |
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Family can be the best and the worst.
Be true to yourself, OP.
It is truly, truly awful to run the risk that your family aren't prepared to accept you for who you really are.
But sometimes, and yes I've been there... Sometimes that heartbreak is liberating. Rather than walking on eggshells and trying to turn yourself into something you're not... It's wonderful to not give a solitary fuck what they think.
My parents don't accept me for who I am. That sucks. But I've stopped giving a shit. And fuck. I'm free. |
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"OP I have no experience of this so I can't advise what or how. But I will say that it sounds like a hard burden to bear alone. I have two very good friends who came out and both said they felt like a huge weight had been lifted from them. Everyone who was important was accepting.
One has since gone vegan when he told his parents his dad said "look, gay I have no problem with, but this is a step too far"
It always makes me chuckle, we never know how people will react.
Good luck OP I hope you feel able to discuss it with them xxx"
Thank you i hope I’m able to get there, just need the right time and place to be able to open up myself |
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"Family can be the best and the worst.
Be true to yourself, OP.
It is truly, truly awful to run the risk that your family aren't prepared to accept you for who you really are.
But sometimes, and yes I've been there... Sometimes that heartbreak is liberating. Rather than walking on eggshells and trying to turn yourself into something you're not... It's wonderful to not give a solitary fuck what they think.
My parents don't accept me for who I am. That sucks. But I've stopped giving a shit. And fuck. I'm free. "
Def walking on eggshells with my family and have no clue on how they would really react. I’m hoping positive but not 100% sure.
|
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"Family can be the best and the worst.
Be true to yourself, OP.
It is truly, truly awful to run the risk that your family aren't prepared to accept you for who you really are.
But sometimes, and yes I've been there... Sometimes that heartbreak is liberating. Rather than walking on eggshells and trying to turn yourself into something you're not... It's wonderful to not give a solitary fuck what they think.
My parents don't accept me for who I am. That sucks. But I've stopped giving a shit. And fuck. I'm free.
Def walking on eggshells with my family and have no clue on how they would really react. I’m hoping positive but not 100% sure.
"
Big hugs if you want them. I get it. |
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By *mberWoman
over a year ago
Preston |
"OP I have no experience of this so I can't advise what or how. But I will say that it sounds like a hard burden to bear alone. I have two very good friends who came out and both said they felt like a huge weight had been lifted from them. Everyone who was important was accepting.
One has since gone vegan when he told his parents his dad said "look, gay I have no problem with, but this is a step too far"
It always makes me chuckle, we never know how people will react.
Good luck OP I hope you feel able to discuss it with them xxx
Thank you i hope I’m able to get there, just need the right time and place to be able to open up myself "
It might be worth picking the one you feel most comfortable with and telling them alone. Less pressure that way. Telling a big group is daunting. xx |
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"Family can be the best and the worst.
Be true to yourself, OP.
It is truly, truly awful to run the risk that your family aren't prepared to accept you for who you really are.
But sometimes, and yes I've been there... Sometimes that heartbreak is liberating. Rather than walking on eggshells and trying to turn yourself into something you're not... It's wonderful to not give a solitary fuck what they think.
My parents don't accept me for who I am. That sucks. But I've stopped giving a shit. And fuck. I'm free.
Def walking on eggshells with my family and have no clue on how they would really react. I’m hoping positive but not 100% sure.
Big hugs if you want them. I get it. "
Hugs are always welcome. Thank you so much |
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"OP I have no experience of this so I can't advise what or how. But I will say that it sounds like a hard burden to bear alone. I have two very good friends who came out and both said they felt like a huge weight had been lifted from them. Everyone who was important was accepting.
One has since gone vegan when he told his parents his dad said "look, gay I have no problem with, but this is a step too far"
It always makes me chuckle, we never know how people will react.
Good luck OP I hope you feel able to discuss it with them xxx
Thank you i hope I’m able to get there, just need the right time and place to be able to open up myself
It might be worth picking the one you feel most comfortable with and telling them alone. Less pressure that way. Telling a big group is daunting. xx"
I do have a cousin I’m kinda close too. Though we have chatted a lot in a while. |
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Only you will know the right time. If at all you ever do.
It has to be because you are comfortable in your own skin and are able to deal with whatever reactions you get.
Despite this being almost 2020. Not everyone is tolerant.
Coming out isn’t always easy. After thinking it through, you may decide not to come out. You are valid and deserve support no matter who you do or do not share your identities with. Rem_mber, there isn’t one right way to come out, and it’s YOUR choice.
Some of us were lucky in the reactions of family and friends. Some less so.
There are organisations like the Trevor project that can offer advice.
Lots of love and luck
|
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"Only you will know the right time. If at all you ever do.
It has to be because you are comfortable in your own skin and are able to deal with whatever reactions you get.
Despite this being almost 2020. Not everyone is tolerant.
Coming out isn’t always easy. After thinking it through, you may decide not to come out. You are valid and deserve support no matter who you do or do not share your identities with. Rem_mber, there isn’t one right way to come out, and it’s YOUR choice.
Some of us were lucky in the reactions of family and friends. Some less so.
There are organisations like the Trevor project that can offer advice.
Lots of love and luck
"
Thank you I really really appreciate it |
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