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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Does anybody else on here sometimes feel there here to try and replace something missing in there lives? Not just sex but social loneliness, I’ll admit there are times I “just want to fuck” but honestly 90% of the time I’m looking for someone/ people to just enjoy the company of without pressure, and if something happens then it’s a plus?
Probably let wxplained it wrong but anyone know what I mean?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know what you mean. I became interested in swinging because of the social aspect, and if something happens then it's a bonus. My social life was non- existent, due to uni work and serious illness, for many years. |
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We are sure many people feel the same way as you OP.
We have a great vanilla social life but we also really enjoy the social aspect to swinging, as well as the fun. For us, it's the whole package, we couldn't just turn up to a meet, fuck then go. Not belittleing people that do that, but we enjoy the chatting, flirting and getting to know people a little as well as the sex. |
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We love the social side and enjoy welcoming another person into our dynamic to keep it interesting! When you've been married for 15 years it's good to have new things to talk about 
That's why we are not looking for meets we are looking for much more of a connection x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We are sure many people feel the same way as you OP.
We have a great vanilla social life but we also really enjoy the social aspect to swinging, as well as the fun. For us, it's the whole package, we couldn't just turn up to a meet, fuck then go. Not belittleing people that do that, but we enjoy the chatting, flirting and getting to know people a little as well as the sex."
That’s sort of what I mean I think, lots of people on here seem to bang on about “socials with no pressure” but when it comes to it it’s a lie lol, I’d love to have a select group of friends on here who can actually go for drinks or whatever and hold a conversation about normal things rather than just sex. And actually be “social” lol |
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I wouldn't put it quite like that. I don't see it as replacing something that's missing but more as identifying a need and looking at various ways of fulfilling that.
We moved a couple of years ago and it can be quite difficult to make new friends so we joined a social club (they used the word social very loosely  ), invited neighbours for drinks, looked in to other local clubs and groups and put a line in our profile saying we'd be happy to meet people purely socially. I won't say it's been a roaring success but we're using different methods to the same end and have met some very nice people. |
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"We are sure many people feel the same way as you OP.
We have a great vanilla social life but we also really enjoy the social aspect to swinging, as well as the fun. For us, it's the whole package, we couldn't just turn up to a meet, fuck then go. Not belittleing people that do that, but we enjoy the chatting, flirting and getting to know people a little as well as the sex.
That’s sort of what I mean I think, lots of people on here seem to bang on about “socials with no pressure” but when it comes to it it’s a lie lol, I’d love to have a select group of friends on here who can actually go for drinks or whatever and hold a conversation about normal things rather than just sex. And actually be “social” lol"
Yeah us too but there is always that little line that immediately applies pressure "and maybe more". |
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"We are sure many people feel the same way as you OP.
We have a great vanilla social life but we also really enjoy the social aspect to swinging, as well as the fun. For us, it's the whole package, we couldn't just turn up to a meet, fuck then go. Not belittleing people that do that, but we enjoy the chatting, flirting and getting to know people a little as well as the sex.
That’s sort of what I mean I think, lots of people on here seem to bang on about “socials with no pressure” but when it comes to it it’s a lie lol, I’d love to have a select group of friends on here who can actually go for drinks or whatever and hold a conversation about normal things rather than just sex. And actually be “social” lol"
Yes!! Exactly this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What I find annoying is, when a single guy like me tries to organise anything nothing comes out of it. It seems most just think single guys are just after sex. Though, I suppose it doesn't help that any site like this is bound to be flooded with guys like that.... |
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"I wouldn't put it quite like that. I don't see it as replacing something that's missing but more as identifying a need and looking at various ways of fulfilling that."
This is my experience too. My social life is very active otherwise and this is just a community that I enjoy being a part of. I really like big organised socials and I go to a few vanilla group events too, just because I like meeting new people. The swinging ones are my favourite though as I tend to have more in common with people and find people at those things very easy to talk to. |
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"Does anybody else on here sometimes feel there here to try and replace something missing in there lives? Not just sex but social loneliness, I’ll admit there are times I “just want to fuck” but honestly 90% of the time I’m looking for someone/ people to just enjoy the company of without pressure, and if something happens then it’s a plus?
Probably let wxplained it wrong but anyone know what I mean? "
Yes, sums up my feelings/thoughts... |
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"What I find annoying is, when a single guy like me tries to organise anything nothing comes out of it. It seems most just think single guys are just after sex. Though, I suppose it doesn't help that any site like this is bound to be flooded with guys like that...."
I don't think it's unreasonable to assume that most of us are here for sex but I hear what you're saying. As I said we have a line in our profile that reads
"if you're localish and would like a purely social drink or coffee just to chat in a relaxed atmosphere get in touch." A number of people have done just that and we've enjoyed some really good chats but some of them expect more. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What I find annoying is, when a single guy like me tries to organise anything nothing comes out of it. It seems most just think single guys are just after sex. Though, I suppose it doesn't help that any site like this is bound to be flooded with guys like that....
I don't think it's unreasonable to assume that most of us are here for sex but I hear what you're saying. As I said we have a line in our profile that reads
"if you're localish and would like a purely social drink or coffee just to chat in a relaxed atmosphere get in touch." A number of people have done just that and we've enjoyed some really good chats but some of them expect more."
I may try putting something similar on mine. Thank you for the idea |
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By *onty1971Man
over a year ago
London St Helier Trier |
I find the Social side important. Yes it helps to understand and create better fun. However not each Social leads to that.
We can trust each more with the sensitive things e.g. about Sex you don't otherwise talk to your mates or can with your partner. We have a lot in common already as we met through Fab looking for fun.
Some great discussions and thought provoking inputs. Very useful. Often stay in touch afterwards to swap updates and offer support.
There some men it is not about what bam thank you maam. But yes % wise probably a minority. |
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"What I find annoying is, when a single guy like me tries to organise anything nothing comes out of it. It seems most just think single guys are just after sex. Though, I suppose it doesn't help that any site like this is bound to be flooded with guys like that....
I don't think it's unreasonable to assume that most of us are here for sex but I hear what you're saying. As I said we have a line in our profile that reads
"if you're localish and would like a purely social drink or coffee just to chat in a relaxed atmosphere get in touch." A number of people have done just that and we've enjoyed some really good chats but some of them expect more."
I really like that idea, thanks!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Does anybody else on here sometimes feel there here to try and replace something missing in there lives? Not just sex but social loneliness, I’ll admit there are times I “just want to fuck” but honestly 90% of the time I’m looking for someone/ people to just enjoy the company of without pressure, and if something happens then it’s a plus?
Probably let wxplained it wrong but anyone know what I mean? "
Hi OP
I have chatted to a few over the years on fab
Single people I met have been very lonely
some do not even know how to have sex
because I suppose out of practice
Some single guys have told me in text that they are lonely and want someone to cuddle up with of a night ...
of course if you are not getting loved in the sexual way of course it feels lonely. Guys thrive on women for company. Some guys want to meet but life and work get in the way.
I like company but I do not miss it like some people do.
I had a meet a few weeks ago and this guy told me he was lonely but could not have been that lonely he was stringing me along  tired of coming across players.
Some guys push themselves onto us because all they want is a blow job or a quickie ...
that is why a lot of us have standards on who we meet
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does anybody else on here sometimes feel there here to try and replace something missing in there lives? Not just sex but social loneliness, I’ll admit there are times I “just want to fuck” but honestly 90% of the time I’m looking for someone/ people to just enjoy the company of without pressure, and if something happens then it’s a plus?
Probably let wxplained it wrong but anyone know what I mean?
Hi OP
I have chatted to a few over the years on fab
Single people I met have been very lonely
some do not even know how to have sex
because I suppose out of practice
Some single guys have told me in text that they are lonely and want someone to cuddle up with of a night ...
of course if you are not getting loved in the sexual way of course it feels lonely. Guys thrive on women for company. Some guys want to meet but life and work get in the way.
I like company but I do not miss it like some people do.
I had a meet a few weeks ago and this guy told me he was lonely but could not have been that lonely he was stringing me along tired of coming across players.
Some guys push themselves onto us because all they want is a blow job or a quickie ...
that is why a lot of us have standards on who we meet
"
It's right to have standards. No one has a right to use someone else; we're all human and equally deserving of respect until someone does something inhumane. Then they cease being human and deserve none |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We are sure many people feel the same way as you OP.
We have a great vanilla social life but we also really enjoy the social aspect to swinging, as well as the fun. For us, it's the whole package, we couldn't just turn up to a meet, fuck then go. Not belittleing people that do that, but we enjoy the chatting, flirting and getting to know people a little as well as the sex.
That’s sort of what I mean I think, lots of people on here seem to bang on about “socials with no pressure” but when it comes to it it’s a lie lol, I’d love to have a select group of friends on here who can actually go for drinks or whatever and hold a conversation about normal things rather than just sex. And actually be “social” lol
Yeah us too but there is always that little line that immediately applies pressure "and maybe more"."
When I say "social" I mean just a social and nothing more, ever. I've actually been stood up a few times by men who thought there might have been the possibility for more until I made it clear socials are just that to me. Good riddance lol.
Yes I am like you OP in that I would like to use this site to be more social, but I find that most of the people on here who say the same thing hardly ever mean it, especially once they've gotten their end away  |
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