FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > how to spot a time waster
how to spot a time waster
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By *bob1202 OP Man
over a year ago
Blackburn |
Hi all. My first post as i have not been on here for years. But how do you quickly spot a time waster. I send polite messages, rarely get a reply but when I do i appreciate it..even a no. I understand why people dont always respond but if they do. And we get into a conversation and we communicate for a while. When I want to progress to meet they suddenly clam up. How long does a fab courtship take before you move to next level. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi all. My first post as i have not been on here for years. But how do you quickly spot a time waster. I send polite messages, rarely get a reply but when I do i appreciate it..even a no. I understand why people dont always respond but if they do. And we get into a conversation and we communicate for a while. When I want to progress to meet they suddenly clam up. How long does a fab courtship take before you move to next level."
If you been here before you should remember how things are.
Single guys it takes time
No one has to respond to any message
A polite no thank you goes a long way
Chat
Connect
Go from there
But never expect anything on here  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi all. My first post as i have not been on here for years. But how do you quickly spot a time waster. I send polite messages, rarely get a reply but when I do i appreciate it..even a no. I understand why people dont always respond but if they do. And we get into a conversation and we communicate for a while. When I want to progress to meet they suddenly clam up. How long does a fab courtship take before you move to next level."
Also clamming up could be just nervous or low self esteem
Be patient
Be gentle
How long is a piece of string |
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By *bob1202 OP Man
over a year ago
Blackburn |
Okay no quick and easy answer. Ive had one which has taken three months always has an excuse and another ive been messaging a week or so. Gave me her number to message her and never responded. Obviously changed there minds but just tell me. I can then move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Okay no quick and easy answer. Ive had one which has taken three months always has an excuse and another ive been messaging a week or so. Gave me her number to message her and never responded. Obviously changed there minds but just tell me. I can then move on."
 3 months. |
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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"Okay no quick and easy answer. Ive had one which has taken three months always has an excuse and another ive been messaging a week or so. Gave me her number to message her and never responded. Obviously changed there minds but just tell me. I can then move on."
It’s a tough one isn’t it. Every person is different. As another poster above suggested. Maybe let them suggest meeting instead. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yep it then takes three months.
I just thunk i need to be a bit more established on here. Perhaps it will come"
the one you have been chatting with for 3 months. Did she have any meets in that time? |
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By *bob1202 OP Man
over a year ago
Blackburn |
Hi when i first started chatting we hit it off but she assumed i only wanted online fun. She arranged another meet but it did not work out. Eventually when we got chatting again she had a death in the family. So that was over a month ago. I will try again in January to see if she is ready for company but it will be 5 months by then so all chemistry has dissapated by then. Ive been supportive and helpful but given her space. I just dont think it will happen but now ill look like a git if i find somebody else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi all. My first post as i have not been on here for years. But how do you quickly spot a time waster. I send polite messages, rarely get a reply but when I do i appreciate it..even a no. I understand why people dont always respond but if they do. And we get into a conversation and we communicate for a while. When I want to progress to meet they suddenly clam up. How long does a fab courtship take before you move to next level."
I think what you consider to be a timewaster may be different to the consensus definition.
It could also be that the Playboy centrefold that you think you are chatting to you might be a hairy arsed lumberjack. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi when i first started chatting we hit it off but she assumed i only wanted online fun. She arranged another meet but it did not work out. Eventually when we got chatting again she had a death in the family. So that was over a month ago. I will try again in January to see if she is ready for company but it will be 5 months by then so all chemistry has dissapated by then. Ive been supportive and helpful but given her space. I just dont think it will happen but now ill look like a git if i find somebody else."
You know you're being strung along when the same family member dies twice. |
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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago
Up North |
"
It could also be that the Playboy centrefold that you think you are chatting to you might be a hairy arsed lumberjack. "
 . Oh my good god that’s so funny! But probably oh so true. OP sounds like the person is not really interested in meeting. Also this is a swinging site. Having multiple partners is common. Don’t worry about offending anyone by meeting someone else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why can't you meet someone else in the meantime? Fab isn't about jealousy, she's not been free that doesn't stop you. If she wants to meet seeing a positive veri appear on your profile might help her to give more effort. Not here to date, would be different maybe if you had met up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Timewaster = arranged and confirmed to meet but didn't turn up (without informing).
At least that's what I thought.
"
Lumberjacks are notoriously unreliable  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At different times on here I’ve been told I’m a shit swinger, a time waster and a wankshaft so I combined them and put them on my profile to help them spot a time waster before they message me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How long do you communicate before you ask to meet? That could be the key.
At least 2 weeks or more "
Ive met people the day after initial contact for a social, once or twice might of been more  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How long do you communicate before you ask to meet? That could be the key.
At least 2 weeks or more
Ive met people the day after initial contact for a social, once or twice might of been more "
Distance is also a factor here. So is availability.... |
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By *bob1202 OP Man
over a year ago
Blackburn |
Thanks everyone. Just having a confidence wobble. You know what gonna leave it a little while. Get myself back in shape lose a bit of weight get my mojo back and start again. Not a great time of year for meets anyway. |
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"Thanks everyone. Just having a confidence wobble. You know what gonna leave it a little while. Get myself back in shape lose a bit of weight get my mojo back and start again. Not a great time of year for meets anyway."
Good luck OP. I know for men I've spoken to it can take time. My advice would be to converse, have a laugh, not necessarily always chat about sex unless the conversation goes that way, don't be dull, don't say mmmmmmmmm and let them suggest a meet when they are ready rather than the other way round. At least you are having conversations so you are doing well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks everyone. Just having a confidence wobble. You know what gonna leave it a little while. Get myself back in shape lose a bit of weight get my mojo back and start again. Not a great time of year for meets anyway."
Don't get too hung up on physical appearance. Confidence is the biggest aphrodisiac of all time.
Good luck. You seem like a nice guy. One good meet and you'll be away |
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"I find a women will mention meeting before myself most the times.
But if it’s maybe one day or maybe that’s the end of conversation "
This is excellent advice generally not just fab. As difficult as it is for a guy, let her bring up meeting first.
If you do ask to meet and she isn't forthcoming, she isn't highly unlikely to want to meet ever. Just move on... |
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"Timewaster = arranged and confirmed to meet but didn't turn up (without informing).
At least that's what I thought.
Lumberjacks are notoriously unreliable "
Lure them with chainsaws. They won't be able to resist.
Good luck OP. Be patient. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Timewaster = arranged and confirmed to meet but didn't turn up (without informing).
At least that's what I thought.
Lumberjacks are notoriously unreliable
Lure them with chainsaws. They won't be able to resist.
Good luck OP. Be patient."
Something tells me you've done this before...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lure them with chainsaws. They won't be able to resist.
Good luck OP. Be patient."
I have arranged a meet with chainsaw on here... forum poster had a tree blown over, I went with my chainsaw and cut it up for her |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lure them with chainsaws. They won't be able to resist.
Good luck OP. Be patient.
I have arranged a meet with chainsaw on here... forum poster had a tree blown over, I went with my chainsaw and cut it up for her "
You're not from Texas are you by any chance.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I waste my time on fab quite often. Am I a time waster?
Absolutely. If you message me for sex I'll simply block you. You've been warned "
I would never do that to you!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I waste my time on fab quite often. Am I a time waster?
Absolutely. If you message me for sex I'll simply block you. You've been warned
I would never do that to you!!"
Sorry but I get it all the time. It's because I'm beautiful  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I waste my time on fab quite often. Am I a time waster?
Absolutely. If you message me for sex I'll simply block you. You've been warned
I would never do that to you!!
Sorry but I get it all the time. It's because I'm beautiful "
You may not have my sausage  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I waste my time on fab quite often. Am I a time waster?
Absolutely. If you message me for sex I'll simply block you. You've been warned
I would never do that to you!!
Sorry but I get it all the time. It's because I'm beautiful
You may not have my sausage "
Hey that's my line! But sure why not. Get me hungry again... jeeesh!!!! Shameless feeder... |
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Assume that most people that you start chatting with will not be compatible for many reasons and thus when chats stop, it's good for you all and it wasn't timewasting. A waste would be chatting with others who wilk not meet you. |
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By *cedGemsWoman
over a year ago
South West Wales ;-) |
Timewaster? The blank profile, not verified, no photos, no verifications - and they have the cheek to moan they're wasting their time on here...duhh. oh yes, also the ones who back out last minute, never show up, or hide their profile yet remain active  |
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It’s like flirting in a bar, just because you are getting on as you flirt doesn’t mean anything will develop. And for some people as soon as you push it to go further it stops. That’s the nature of the game. And the advantage is you haven’t had to buy her a drink to be spurned! |
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By *bob1202 OP Man
over a year ago
Blackburn |
You know what. Creating this post has been a useful exercise. Its helped me gain perspective, its given me more confidence to include myself in other discussions. It would appear your not such a bad lot, unless your a troll seeking attention. Then your ruthless..but funny. Thanks for all the pointers, I hope I get a chance to chat with you all again. I'll not ask for a meet honest...well maybe after three months. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you rarely get a reply,then you're the timewaster.
Stop wasting your time messaging people that aren't interested.
Concentrate on messaging only those who you comply with,age,sex,location,verified etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Okay no quick and easy answer. Ive had one which has taken three months always has an excuse and another ive been messaging a week or so. Gave me her number to message her and never responded. Obviously changed there minds but just tell me. I can then move on."
She did by not responding
Call her she could be shy
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You know what. Creating this post has been a useful exercise. Its helped me gain perspective, its given me more confidence to include myself in other discussions. It would appear your not such a bad lot, unless your a troll seeking attention. Then your ruthless..but funny. Thanks for all the pointers, I hope I get a chance to chat with you all again. I'll not ask for a meet honest...well maybe after three months."
12 months if you are lucky OP
I send winks and messages
No reply from guys
It happens
I am not going to expect anything best way
Happy Christmas eve |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you rarely get a reply,then you're the timewaster.
Stop wasting your time messaging people that aren't interested.
Concentrate on messaging only those who you comply with,age,sex,location,verified etc "
Frankly, you can do that and still not get a reply. Sending first messages can be a soulless activity for most men. That’s why I don’t bother at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can be talking to someone, they seem nice etc and I could potentially arrange something.
Then things come to the surface, like they’ve a possessive past meet, they are actually married etc etc so I won’t then meet.
I’m not a time waster - I have self worth |
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By *bob1202 OP Man
over a year ago
Blackburn |
Im not a timewaster. I target users who i match there preferences age geography and so on. Ironically i had the best success with a woman who stipulated qualities i did not have. But yes i go for whos boxes i might tick. Theres no point otherwise |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know what you mean op.
A few times i've been approached by "couples". We've started chatting and out of the blue they just vanish. Either they delete their profile or they just delete all messages and stop replying. No pushing from my side at all!!
I think when you are chatting, if the messages you send are being deleted straight away that's a sign of someone who is having many meaningless conversations and/or is likely to vanish? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know what you mean op.
A few times i've been approached by "couples". We've started chatting and out of the blue they just vanish. Either they delete their profile or they just delete all messages and stop replying. No pushing from my side at all!!
I think when you are chatting, if the messages you send are being deleted straight away that's a sign of someone who is having many meaningless conversations and/or is likely to vanish?"
That's not a time waster though just someone who has decided you're not for them more likely |
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"You know what. Creating this post has been a useful exercise. Its helped me gain perspective, its given me more confidence to include myself in other discussions. It would appear your not such a bad lot, unless your a troll seeking attention. Then your ruthless..but funny. Thanks for all the pointers, I hope I get a chance to chat with you all again. I'll not ask for a meet honest...well maybe after three months."
It's good that you have been helped and learned too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
It could also be that the Playboy centrefold that you think you are chatting to you might be a hairy arsed lumberjack.
. Oh my good god that’s so funny! But probably oh so true. OP sounds like the person is not really interested in meeting. Also this is a swinging site. Having multiple partners is common. Don’t worry about offending anyone by meeting someone else. "
^^^^^this^^^^^
Beat me to it, it's not dating... And as there are a large number of wannabees on here it's not uncommon to be led down the garden path... Its just part of the landscape.. |
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