FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Why did you stop loving?
Why did you stop loving?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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This is for everyone and anyone.
When in a long term relationship in real life, not swingers or FWB etc, what reason/s made you stop loving your partner? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I hear that, perhaps you are one of the lucky ones who's heart doesn't close so easily? Some people do stop loving and I'm interested to find out what their reasons are and if there's a pattern |
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"I hear that, perhaps you are one of the lucky ones who's heart doesn't close so easily? Some people do stop loving and I'm interested to find out what their reasons are and if there's a pattern"
Lol, if you think I'm in a good place for it you'd be mistaken. It bloody sucks. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I hear that, perhaps you are one of the lucky ones who's heart doesn't close so easily? Some people do stop loving and I'm interested to find out what their reasons are and if there's a pattern
Lol, if you think I'm in a good place for it you'd be mistaken. It bloody sucks. "
They say love hurts, funny thing is it doesn't, love feels amazing. The pain comes from rejection, vulnerability, anger, disappointment etc etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have you stopped loving your partner or has the way you loved them changed? It’s unlikely to be the same at 10 years (for example) as it was at 10 months.
Don’t judge your current circumstance by an earlier one. |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
First relationship ended because i fell out of love with him. We met when i was 18 and split when i was 27. I lost my best friend as well as a lover and it took me 4 years (and kick started my depression) to get over him, even though i ended things.
He showed me what love was and the sex was amazing. He was a good first love. |
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"I hear that, perhaps you are one of the lucky ones who's heart doesn't close so easily? Some people do stop loving and I'm interested to find out what their reasons are and if there's a pattern
Lol, if you think I'm in a good place for it you'd be mistaken. It bloody sucks.
They say love hurts, funny thing is it doesn't, love feels amazing. The pain comes from rejection, vulnerability, anger, disappointment etc etc"
I'd beg to differ. But I won't derail any further. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I never will with each second it grows and has grown from second 1 no matter what i dont imagine ever stopping loving her and tbh i dont think i want to imagine a time when i dont |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I hear that, perhaps you are one of the lucky ones who's heart doesn't close so easily? Some people do stop loving and I'm interested to find out what their reasons are and if there's a pattern
Lol, if you think I'm in a good place for it you'd be mistaken. It bloody sucks.
They say love hurts, funny thing is it doesn't, love feels amazing. The pain comes from rejection, vulnerability, anger, disappointment etc etc
I'd beg to differ. But I won't derail any further. "
Don't hold back, this is a place to voice let it veer |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We were young. My 1st love....we argued dur to immaturity. We split n went with other people got back and i said i wasnt bothered and she got with the same lad again. WRIGHT RELATIONSHIP - WRONG TIME |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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He took me for granted, didnt respect me, didnt really listen to me, didnt support me on loads of things.
We lasted 19yrs then he had an affair....rather than being brave & putting his hand up saying he had enough.
MsD |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I didn't stop loving him, the way I love him just changed.
"
Actually this is spot on! I love my ex as the father of my children and for the memories I have with him, but not as a husband |
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"I hear that, perhaps you are one of the lucky ones who's heart doesn't close so easily? Some people do stop loving and I'm interested to find out what their reasons are and if there's a pattern
Lol, if you think I'm in a good place for it you'd be mistaken. It bloody sucks.
They say love hurts, funny thing is it doesn't, love feels amazing. The pain comes from rejection, vulnerability, anger, disappointment etc etc
I'd beg to differ. But I won't derail any further.
Don't hold back, this is a place to voice let it veer "
Nah. Not the place or the time. Apologies for derailing. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I never will with each second it grows and has grown from second 1 no matter what i dont imagine ever stopping loving her and tbh i dont think i want to imagine a time when i dont "
Thanks for sharing that, I know that feeling. I had so much love that I began to feel happy for her when I saw her being happy and getting married t the guy she cheated on me for. Of course it hurt at first but love made me find comfort in her happiness. I was a bit weirded by that at the time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never will with each second it grows and has grown from second 1 no matter what i dont imagine ever stopping loving her and tbh i dont think i want to imagine a time when i dont
Thanks for sharing that, I know that feeling. I had so much love that I began to feel happy for her when I saw her being happy and getting married t the guy she cheated on me for. Of course it hurt at first but love made me find comfort in her happiness. I was a bit weirded by that at the time"
yeah id be in jail by then  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We moved in together and over time it just felt like we were mates not a couple, she was still in love with me but I just didn't feel the same anymore. A familiar tale for many I'm sure. "
Isn't the greatest achievement being best friends with your partner? But I get it, things fizzle and then it's like well... Erm... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can’t put a time frame on it, was a gradual thing. As he abused me more, took away any feelings of self worth and cheated it just slipped away. I think not loving him helped when I finally asked him to leave x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I stopped loving him the day he was arrested. "
None of my business but this should be a reason to stand strong in my opinion, depending on the charge of course. Some things aren't acceptable or excusable |
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I stopped loving my wife as she turned more and more despotic. No descent was tolerated. Criticism was only ever allowed in one direction. She became abusive essentially. When she stopped acting in a vaguely loveable way, I stopped loving her. Luke |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My heart breaks for a lot of these posts... "
It's sad but no doubt we have all suffered one side of the story throughout our lives. Sometimes I think that could be a driving force to explore and indulge in the swinging life, post traumatic self defense. Love hurt me so eliminate love. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I stopped loving my wife as she turned more and more despotic. No descent was tolerated. Criticism was only ever allowed in one direction. She became abusive essentially. When she stopped acting in a vaguely loveable way, I stopped loving her. Luke "
My brother, this is the exact reason I posted the question. I don't understand how someone can "love" and then act like that, essentially she stopped loving you before you stopped loving her man. I'm sorry for your pain |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I didn't exactly fall out of love I cared for him literally he was terminally ill and I loved him cause he was the father of my kids but he was a horrible man he's been gone 13 years now I don't really think about him anymore just when the kids ask about him.
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I have loved two women in my lifetime. Ailsa since I was 18, and I know that I will love her until the day I die. It is beyond my control, as if she is hard-wired into my dna.
The second lady I loved proved to be very different. She inflicted considerable emotional damage on me, at a time when I was vulnerable due to other, rather tragic circumstances. She did so for reasons I still don’t fully understand.
Other than Ailsa, I have not and will not allow myself to love another lady again. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have loved two women in my lifetime. Ailsa since I was 18, and I know that I will love her until the day I die. It is beyond my control, as if she is hard-wired into my dna.
The second lady I loved proved to be very different. She inflicted considerable emotional damage on me, at a time when I was vulnerable due to other, rather tragic circumstances. She did so for reasons I still don’t fully understand.
Other than Ailsa, I have not and will not allow myself to love another lady again."
Once bitten twice shy, the removal of loves power by entering the world of free will and emotionless sex in swinging. It makes sense, sorry man x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Love is a word people throw around and i don't think the average person understand the word."
I have a similar but different perspective and theory on this. I have thought I was in "love" more than a handful of times, each time the feeling was more and more powerful than the last. Every new love seemed to exceeded the previous. To me that suggests that we can never really know what real love is for as long as we live because it's possible the next love could be greater. Agree? |
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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago
Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe |
I met my wife at college when she was 17 and I was 18. After 2 years, she moved into my parent's house to be with me, and 18 months later we bought our 1st house. After 5 years together we married and had 2 wonderful daughters.
Then things started to go wrong. A year after our 2nd daughter was born, my wife had an affair. She sat me down and came out with it. I didn't suspect a thing. She was planning on moving in with him, then at the last minute she said that she was in the wrong, begged forgiveness and pleaded for me to let her stay.
I did, but in my mind although I could forgive, I couldn't forget, and I vowed to myself that if it ever happened again then there would be no 2nd chance.
Three weeks after our 24th wedding anniversary, I came home from work to find she wasn't home, and nor our youngest, who was home from University. I assumed they'd gone visiting friends. I went to get changed and found all her stuff out of the wardrobe was gone. I looked around the house to find other stuff missing. After an hour, she walked into the house.
She said she'd met someone online and was leaving me and all her stuff was in his car. So that was that. Almost 30 years together. Down the pan.
A few weeks later, I ventured out to the village pub, and someone asked how I was, as they'd heard. Then they dropped the bombshell that she had carried on seeing the guy she'd had her 1st affair with for about 10 years after I took her back. Apparently it was common knowledge in the village. Except no-one thought to tell me.
I sold up and left the village, but on my last weekend there I went to the pub bumped into the guy she'd had the affair with and we got pissed together. He apologised for everything.
But, to give her her due, she left over 8 years ago and is still with the same guy she left me for.
As for my feelings, all love for her stopped the moment she walked out. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"When you realise you are uncomfortable in your own home, feel like a stranger and don’t want to go home "
That sounds like a nightmare, sorry to hear that chick |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"When you realise you are uncomfortable in your own home, feel like a stranger and don’t want to go home
Oh god I feel this deeply. "
I couldn't second this more. Abuse isn't always physical |
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"We moved in together and over time it just felt like we were mates not a couple, she was still in love with me but I just didn't feel the same anymore. A familiar tale for many I'm sure.
Isn't the greatest achievement being best friends with your partner? But I get it, things fizzle and then it's like well... Erm... "
If the spark is still there yes, but if the physical side stops and it feels more like living with a sibling then it's gone. |
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"When you realise you are uncomfortable in your own home, feel like a stranger and don’t want to go home
Oh god I feel this deeply.
I couldn't second this more. Abuse isn't always physical"
No it’s not |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I fell out of love with my ex husband as there was no love there he wasn't very tactile or complimentary never gave me a good word.....my self esteem went down to nothing  "
Thanks for sharing Betty, I'm sorry for your pain |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We moved in together and over time it just felt like we were mates not a couple, she was still in love with me but I just didn't feel the same anymore. A familiar tale for many I'm sure.
Isn't the greatest achievement being best friends with your partner? But I get it, things fizzle and then it's like well... Erm...
If the spark is still there yes, but if the physical side stops and it feels more like living with a sibling then it's gone."
I hear that. Sorry man |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
The first time was when they tried to change me to something I wasn’t. The second time I didn’t really stop loving but the almost daily battering & finally wrestling a kitchen knife from her hand which she tried to kill me with was the final straw.
Before anyone says “How could you leave” etc. I hung around for four years pleading with her to keep seeing the Dr all the while going to work with shirt sleeves firmly buttoned to cover the bruises on my forearms etc.
Eventually you just let go & cry enough no matter how much it hurts..
She was sectioned about six months later & it turned out she never did ask for help from the Dr, she’d just make up another reason she went & come home saying “He says there’s nothing wrong with me”. But there plainly was & even her family ignored it which helped no one really..
S
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't think I've ever stopped loving anyone, it's just changed. Anyone I've felt uncomfortable/unhappy about I've gone back and sorted it so it doesn't come forward into the future |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I met my wife at college when she was 17 and I was 18. After 2 years, she moved into my parent's house to be with me, and 18 months later we bought our 1st house. After 5 years together we married and had 2 wonderful daughters.
Then things started to go wrong. A year after our 2nd daughter was born, my wife had an affair. She sat me down and came out with it. I didn't suspect a thing. She was planning on moving in with him, then at the last minute she said that she was in the wrong, begged forgiveness and pleaded for me to let her stay.
I did, but in my mind although I could forgive, I couldn't forget, and I vowed to myself that if it ever happened again then there would be no 2nd chance.
Three weeks after our 24th wedding anniversary, I came home from work to find she wasn't home, and nor our youngest, who was home from University. I assumed they'd gone visiting friends. I went to get changed and found all her stuff out of the wardrobe was gone. I looked around the house to find other stuff missing. After an hour, she walked into the house.
She said she'd met someone online and was leaving me and all her stuff was in his car. So that was that. Almost 30 years together. Down the pan.
A few weeks later, I ventured out to the village pub, and someone asked how I was, as they'd heard. Then they dropped the bombshell that she had carried on seeing the guy she'd had her 1st affair with for about 10 years after I took her back. Apparently it was common knowledge in the village. Except no-one thought to tell me.
I sold up and left the village, but on my last weekend there I went to the pub bumped into the guy she'd had the affair with and we got pissed together. He apologised for everything.
But, to give her her due, she left over 8 years ago and is still with the same guy she left me for.
As for my feelings, all love for her stopped the moment she walked out. "
Oh, mate - I really feel for you on this one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because life’s too short to settle for hoping things will change. Marriage was man made anyway. It was probably invented by an ugly who couldn’t pull and got jealous with the sexy people who got loads of action. |
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I dont belive i was ever in love in my past relationships even my husband. Only when i met my beloved did i realize what love was. 14 years and i love him more each day and will for the rest of my life |
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I hated being in the same room/house/space as my ex husband, hated the thought of him walking in the door and after 30 years of trying to be the one holding it all together I gave up and asked him to leave. I refuse to be treated like that again and would rather be alone than fucked around and disregarded. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I dont belive i was ever in love in my past relationships even my husband. Only when i met my beloved did i realize what love was. 14 years and i love him more each day and will for the rest of my life"
There is some beauty amongst out tales of pain. Thanks for sharing |
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"Because life’s too short to settle for hoping things will change. Marriage was man made anyway. It was probably invented by an ugly who couldn’t pull and got jealous with the sexy people who got loads of action. "
The fucker   |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I hated being in the same room/house/space as my ex husband, hated the thought of him walking in the door and after 30 years of trying to be the one holding it all together I gave up and asked him to leave. I refuse to be treated like that again and would rather be alone than fucked around and disregarded. "
Sandy, sounds like you suffered love loss and stayed which caused both of you pain. Where did the hate come from? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because life’s too short to settle for hoping things will change. Marriage was man made anyway. It was probably invented by an ugly who couldn’t pull and got jealous with the sexy people who got loads of action. "
I think that's a rather jaded outlook.
Sure the concept of marriage is man made, but partners for life isnt.
Actions, events, behaviour and worst of all indifference erodes feelings.
Sometimes its them, sometimes it's you, and sometimes it's just life. But there are plenty of good examples. In the end, you become the person you choose to be.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks to everyone who got involved, shared some very sensitive and emotionally moving experiences with the world and that takes guts. Well done and thank you |
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"I hated being in the same room/house/space as my ex husband, hated the thought of him walking in the door and after 30 years of trying to be the one holding it all together I gave up and asked him to leave. I refuse to be treated like that again and would rather be alone than fucked around and disregarded.
Sandy, sounds like you suffered love loss and stayed which caused both of you pain. Where did the hate come from?"
From him thinking it was ok to spend money we hadn’t got on drinking with his mates, not caring about me or our boys, our friends said they dont know how I put up with it so long but you just do until you have a brain fart, it was either kill him or divorce him  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I hated being in the same room/house/space as my ex husband, hated the thought of him walking in the door and after 30 years of trying to be the one holding it all together I gave up and asked him to leave. I refuse to be treated like that again and would rather be alone than fucked around and disregarded.
Sandy, sounds like you suffered love loss and stayed which caused both of you pain. Where did the hate come from?
From him thinking it was ok to spend money we hadn’t got on drinking with his mates, not caring about me or our boys, our friends said they dont know how I put up with it so long but you just do until you have a brain fart, it was either kill him or divorce him "
I trust you opted for the latter  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We've been together over 2 decades. I still love her just as much, enough to marry her a few months ago!
But I miss the naked intimacy. She went off sex with me years ago. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We've been together over 2 decades. I still love her just as much, enough to marry her a few months ago!
But I miss the naked intimacy. She went off sex with me years ago. "
That's beautiful yet sad at the same time, the love remains but the voids found roots. Sorry man |
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"I fell out of love with my ex husband as there was no love there he wasn't very tactile or complimentary never gave me a good word.....my self esteem went down to nothing
Thanks for sharing Betty, I'm sorry for your pain "
 |
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"Because life’s too short to settle for hoping things will change. Marriage was man made anyway. It was probably invented by an ugly who couldn’t pull and got jealous with the sexy people who got loads of action. "
Yes life is too short. My life has changed dramatically bu im happier now and have never looked back |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We've been together over 2 decades. I still love her just as much, enough to marry her a few months ago!
But I miss the naked intimacy. She went off sex with me years ago.
That's beautiful yet sad at the same time, the love remains but the voids found roots. Sorry man"
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"This is for everyone and anyone.
When in a long term relationship in real life, not swingers or FWB etc, what reason/s made you stop loving your partner? "
When I stopped being a person in my own right and became a character in a soap opera. When our life became 'my' life, when our children became 'my' children and I became 'my' husband - the my, of course being her words, not mine. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Stress of difficult times and I realised I was on my own to cope with it all on my own while he buried his head in the sand and pretended it wasn’t happening and he prioritised work over all of us |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Stress of difficult times and I realised I was on my own to cope with it all on my own while he buried his head in the sand and pretended it wasn’t happening and he prioritised work over all of us"
I understand that from both sides, some people need focus and go full force in to work for distraction instead of approaching the problems head on. I'm not talking about your life which I don't know obviously so that's more a sweeping statement |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is for everyone and anyone.
When in a long term relationship in real life, not swingers or FWB etc, what reason/s made you stop loving your partner? "
Because he couldn’t keep up with me ( in all aspects)  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He found other women more attractive but it was the lies and deceit that killed any love I had for him.
I wish him no harm but would not trust again."
Thats really horrible ...but sadly very common. |
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"I stopped loving my wife as she turned more and more despotic. No descent was tolerated. Criticism was only ever allowed in one direction. She became abusive essentially. When she stopped acting in a vaguely loveable way, I stopped loving her. Luke "
I know that feeling! |
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I love my ex dearly, she is the mother to my girls and we shared 16 years together, even though at times we cannot stand to be In each other’s company I would be there like a shot if she ever needed anything for herself and the kids.
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"
I sold up and left the village, but on my last weekend there I went to the pub bumped into the guy she'd had the affair with and we got pissed together. He apologised for everything.
"
This deserves an honorable mention. Well done. When you are wronged it's easy to become consumed by bitterness, that's what will ruin your life.
Mr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im totally devoid of "love" I cannot relate to it at all. Stems from childhood. I see others couples etc and I constantly ask myself what is they actually feel? It would be impossible to even describe it. I remember someone actually sympathising with me when I opened up about it before and I found it slightly amusing because how can you miss out on something if you never experienced it and actually dont know what it means. |
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"When he became an alcoholic and turned into a wife beating monster. That killed everything. "
Pretty much this - and after he made me feel less than shit on the floor
Only things I was grateful for were my children
My grass was certainly greener - I met Mr KC |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I stopped loving him the day he was arrested.
None of my business but this should be a reason to stand strong in my opinion, depending on the charge of course. Some things aren't acceptable or excusable"
Unconditional love is only for children in my book. Not for partners. |
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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago
Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe |
"
I sold up and left the village, but on my last weekend there I went to the pub bumped into the guy she'd had the affair with and we got pissed together. He apologised for everything.
This deserves an honorable mention. Well done. When you are wronged it's easy to become consumed by bitterness, that's what will ruin your life.
Mr"
Ah thanks for that. Life's too short to be bitter. I'm fairly laid back and I don't hold grudges. It is what it is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I had no confidence left, when I had to beg and grovel to be taken out for weeks and months on end, when no matter what I tried sex wasnt happening, when I realised that I didn't want to just exist, I wanted to live. When I realised that the relationship was in his terms and favoured him and no matter how much I communicated with him and how I asked for a compromise nothing changed at all ever. When it made me feel like I was a a horrid undeserving unattractive person I gave up and should have well before I did. |
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"When I had no confidence left, when I had to beg and grovel to be taken out for weeks and months on end, when no matter what I tried sex wasnt happening, when I realised that I didn't want to just exist, I wanted to live. When I realised that the relationship was in his terms and favoured him and no matter how much I communicated with him and how I asked for a compromise nothing changed at all ever. When it made me feel like I was a a horrid undeserving unattractive person I gave up and should have well before I did. "
Totally understand this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When I had no confidence left, when I had to beg and grovel to be taken out for weeks and months on end, when no matter what I tried sex wasnt happening, when I realised that I didn't want to just exist, I wanted to live. When I realised that the relationship was in his terms and favoured him and no matter how much I communicated with him and how I asked for a compromise nothing changed at all ever. When it made me feel like I was a a horrid undeserving unattractive person I gave up and should have well before I did. "
Sweet, i’ve been there.
It’s horrid, totally horrid xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Because my mum asked what I saw in her...and I couldn’t answer."
Every single member of my family told me that she isn't good and they don't like her yet I ignored them at every turn. The heart is a very beautiful but stupid part of us as humans |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Alcoholic mentally abusive dick who could never take the blame for his own actions I never wanted my kids to go through dealing with their dad when he is like that and the love died, life is much better now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tough question where I think everyone's situation is different:
For me, we started going out at 17 and slowly grew apart. Looking back, should have ended sooner but its more difficult the longer you are with someone |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Tough question where I think everyone's situation is different:
For me, we started going out at 17 and slowly grew apart. Looking back, should have ended sooner but its more difficult the longer you are with someone "
It's quite interesting but sad to see some of the stories here, everyone is different and there are always more sides to the story of course.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is for everyone and anyone.
When in a long term relationship in real life, not swingers or FWB etc, what reason/s made you stop loving your partner? "
Lack of communication, no understanding, no sex, could go on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I hear that, perhaps you are one of the lucky ones who's heart doesn't close so easily? Some people do stop loving and I'm interested to find out what their reasons are and if there's a pattern"
Can’t answer that question as still in love with my wife after 40 years together |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Reading the losses it’s quite sad
I’ve never given up hope tho ! I don’t tar everyone with the same brush and it’s not good to carry forward toxic experiences!
Big love-Pete Hellar
Tunes to lighten the load xx
Big love to the forum peeps !
Peace |
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"This is for everyone and anyone.
When in a long term relationship in real life, not swingers or FWB etc, what reason/s made you stop loving your partner? "
Stopped when I discovered she was cheating on me, for years |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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With my ex-wife, she gradually withdrew from the relationship over a long period until it got to the point that, in the last 6 months, I didn’t see her naked, let alone have sex. she admitted in the end that she’d wait for me to fall asleep before coming to bed.
I was with my recent ex for 3 years until August this year. I’m still not over her, no where near, I’ve no idea how to get past the devastation. I love her, still, as much as I did in August, a year ago, 3 years ago. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"With my ex-wife, she gradually withdrew from the relationship over a long period until it got to the point that, in the last 6 months, I didn’t see her naked, let alone have sex. she admitted in the end that she’d wait for me to fall asleep before coming to bed.
I was with my recent ex for 3 years until August this year. I’m still not over her, no where near, I’ve no idea how to get past the devastation. I love her, still, as much as I did in August, a year ago, 3 years ago. "
I'm sorry you're still feeling the pain man but we both know that time heals, it will get easier with each day,even though it may never disappear because of how you feel about her, it will eventually subdue, I'm sure it already has since the very time it happened. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Stress of difficult times and I realised I was on my own to cope with it all on my own while he buried his head in the sand and pretended it wasn’t happening and he prioritised work over all of us"
What this lady said as above - I lasted 21 years (ended marriage 8+ yes ago). Couldn't cope with losing myself to someone I also no longer recognised due to longterm manipulation and control. Kids and I are still paying the "price" in some way or form.
I still believe in love, mutual respect and consideration - my equal I've yet to meet! |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
"Can we take a vote???
After reviewing the evidence, I conclude that love can go fuck itself. "
Nooooo!
This is one of the saddest things about Fab, if you look hard enough. It’s full of people who have been hurt emotionally and physically and who have sworn off relationships in favour of casual sex because they don’t want to be hurt again. And i understand that, i do.
But it’s not the relationship that hurt you, it was that person and the circumstances that person brought.
The right relationship, with the right person will be amazing. Fun. Build you up not knock you down. It’s amazing being loved. It’s good for your soul.
I think people should be hopeful of finding that person. If it happens it happens, just have fun till you meet them (or not).
But i think it’s incredibly disheartening to let the acts and behaviour of someone destroy your hopes of future happiness with someone else.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can we take a vote???
After reviewing the evidence, I conclude that love can go fuck itself.
Nooooo!
This is one of the saddest things about Fab, if you look hard enough. It’s full of people who have been hurt emotionally and physically and who have sworn off relationships in favour of casual sex because they don’t want to be hurt again. And i understand that, i do.
But it’s not the relationship that hurt you, it was that person and the circumstances that person brought.
The right relationship, with the right person will be amazing. Fun. Build you up not knock you down. It’s amazing being loved. It’s good for your soul.
I think people should be hopeful of finding that person. If it happens it happens, just have fun till you meet them (or not).
But i think it’s incredibly disheartening to let the acts and behaviour of someone destroy your hopes of future happiness with someone else.
"
This. |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
"Can we take a vote???
After reviewing the evidence, I conclude that love can go fuck itself.
Nooooo!
This is one of the saddest things about Fab, if you look hard enough. It’s full of people who have been hurt emotionally and physically and who have sworn off relationships in favour of casual sex because they don’t want to be hurt again. And i understand that, i do.
But it’s not the relationship that hurt you, it was that person and the circumstances that person brought.
The right relationship, with the right person will be amazing. Fun. Build you up not knock you down. It’s amazing being loved. It’s good for your soul.
I think people should be hopeful of finding that person. If it happens it happens, just have fun till you meet them (or not).
But i think it’s incredibly disheartening to let the acts and behaviour of someone destroy your hopes of future happiness with someone else.
"
Another |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can we take a vote???
After reviewing the evidence, I conclude that love can go fuck itself.
Nooooo!
This is one of the saddest things about Fab, if you look hard enough. It’s full of people who have been hurt emotionally and physically and who have sworn off relationships in favour of casual sex because they don’t want to be hurt again. And i understand that, i do.
But it’s not the relationship that hurt you, it was that person and the circumstances that person brought.
The right relationship, with the right person will be amazing. Fun. Build you up not knock you down. It’s amazing being loved. It’s good for your soul.
I think people should be hopeful of finding that person. If it happens it happens, just have fun till you meet them (or not).
But i think it’s incredibly disheartening to let the acts and behaviour of someone destroy your hopes of future happiness with someone else.
"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Getting out of my horrendous marriage after I found out about my husbands lies and affair in July 2018 didnt put me off men!
Although I told MrDub I just wanted to use him for casual sex! I was very upfront when we met online last year.
I should have sworn off men after what I went through but it didnt. Sure I have trust issues but MrDub understands that. I met him at the worst time of my life or the best whichever way you view it. Loved up and on Fab so finding love is possible. I dont think I was ever really in love with my husband.
MsDub |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think you stop loving someone unless they are complete bastard's or totally inept.but time has a way of making you grow apart until you have nothing in common.its pointless after awhile trying to make it work when you're expectations and ambitions are poles apart |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It was an avalanche of things that ran all the way down into one tiny pinch point, and It was just suddenly enough to make me realise I cant and wont love them anymore.
Was almost a relief actually to say it to them and myself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can we take a vote???
After reviewing the evidence, I conclude that love can go fuck itself. "
18 months ago id agree but now il fight to the death for it |
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After 10 years with first hubby who took my confidence and treated me like a doormat ,having my daughter gave me the guts to tell him to leave which he did so didnt want us anyway ,fast forward ive been with no2 hubby 25 years he built up my confidence ,made me feel loved appreciated etc ,leaning he was bi nearly broke us but been together too long to give up so here we are closer and better than ever ,a new chapter in our life .. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This is for everyone and anyone.
When in a long term relationship in real life, not swingers or FWB etc, what reason/s made you stop loving your partner? "
1) He showed me time and time again that he wasn't listening to me, even when he said he was.
2) Being with him had turned me into someone I didn't want to be. |
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"Can we take a vote???
After reviewing the evidence, I conclude that love can go fuck itself.
Nooooo!
This is one of the saddest things about Fab, if you look hard enough. It’s full of people who have been hurt emotionally and physically and who have sworn off relationships in favour of casual sex because they don’t want to be hurt again. And i understand that, i do.
But it’s not the relationship that hurt you, it was that person and the circumstances that person brought.
The right relationship, with the right person will be amazing. Fun. Build you up not knock you down. It’s amazing being loved. It’s good for your soul.
I think people should be hopeful of finding that person. If it happens it happens, just have fun till you meet them (or not).
But i think it’s incredibly disheartening to let the acts and behaviour of someone destroy your hopes of future happiness with someone else.
"
I (Luke) think that sometimes the best thing is just not to have an agenda or aim with love or sex.
Both Hannah and myself have been in horrible acrimonious relationships that ended badly. We had both looked for love and not found it. We had both given up on love and went out looking for good sex instead. We found each other in that search for sex and actually found love.
If we had looked for this I doubt we would have ever found it. It just happened.
I think the thing to do is to be the best person you can be, meet people and see what happens. It may leading to something platonic, sexual, romantic or some hybrid. If what happens is natural it has the best chance of being something good, worthwhile and rewarding. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can we take a vote???
After reviewing the evidence, I conclude that love can go fuck itself.
Nooooo!
This is one of the saddest things about Fab, if you look hard enough. It’s full of people who have been hurt emotionally and physically and who have sworn off relationships in favour of casual sex because they don’t want to be hurt again. And i understand that, i do.
But it’s not the relationship that hurt you, it was that person and the circumstances that person brought.
The right relationship, with the right person will be amazing. Fun. Build you up not knock you down. It’s amazing being loved. It’s good for your soul.
I think people should be hopeful of finding that person. If it happens it happens, just have fun till you meet them (or not).
But i think it’s incredibly disheartening to let the acts and behaviour of someone destroy your hopes of future happiness with someone else.
"
Another
I'm definitely in a protective mode where I still want fun and company but one where I won't get hurt. |
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"Can we take a vote???
After reviewing the evidence, I conclude that love can go fuck itself.
Nooooo!
This is one of the saddest things about Fab, if you look hard enough. It’s full of people who have been hurt emotionally and physically and who have sworn off relationships in favour of casual sex because they don’t want to be hurt again. And i understand that, i do.
But it’s not the relationship that hurt you, it was that person and the circumstances that person brought.
The right relationship, with the right person will be amazing. Fun. Build you up not knock you down. It’s amazing being loved. It’s good for your soul.
I think people should be hopeful of finding that person. If it happens it happens, just have fun till you meet them (or not).
But i think it’s incredibly disheartening to let the acts and behaviour of someone destroy your hopes of future happiness with someone else.
"
I completely understand what you are saying and for some they will lower their barriers, take that risk and let someone in again.
Personally I won’t or can’t, which ever way you want to look at it. Every relationship has destroyed a little bit of me and I won’t put myself through that again |
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By *manaWoman
over a year ago
Basingstoke |
"Can we take a vote???
After reviewing the evidence, I conclude that love can go fuck itself.
Nooooo!
This is one of the saddest things about Fab, if you look hard enough. It’s full of people who have been hurt emotionally and physically and who have sworn off relationships in favour of casual sex because they don’t want to be hurt again. And i understand that, i do.
But it’s not the relationship that hurt you, it was that person and the circumstances that person brought.
The right relationship, with the right person will be amazing. Fun. Build you up not knock you down. It’s amazing being loved. It’s good for your soul.
I think people should be hopeful of finding that person. If it happens it happens, just have fun till you meet them (or not).
But i think it’s incredibly disheartening to let the acts and behaviour of someone destroy your hopes of future happiness with someone else.
I completely understand what you are saying and for some they will lower their barriers, take that risk and let someone in again.
Personally I won’t or can’t, which ever way you want to look at it. Every relationship has destroyed a little bit of me and I won’t put myself through that again"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can we take a vote???
After reviewing the evidence, I conclude that love can go fuck itself.
Nooooo!
This is one of the saddest things about Fab, if you look hard enough. It’s full of people who have been hurt emotionally and physically and who have sworn off relationships in favour of casual sex because they don’t want to be hurt again. And i understand that, i do.
But it’s not the relationship that hurt you, it was that person and the circumstances that person brought.
The right relationship, with the right person will be amazing. Fun. Build you up not knock you down. It’s amazing being loved. It’s good for your soul.
I think people should be hopeful of finding that person. If it happens it happens, just have fun till you meet them (or not).
But i think it’s incredibly disheartening to let the acts and behaviour of someone destroy your hopes of future happiness with someone else.
I completely understand what you are saying and for some they will lower their barriers, take that risk and let someone in again.
Personally I won’t or can’t, which ever way you want to look at it. Every relationship has destroyed a little bit of me and I won’t put myself through that again"
Yes I get that, and I've held people at arms length because of things that happened. No matter how many times people tell you, it never feels different as only you can change things.
What you dont surrender the world just strips away as Bruce sang. Time waits for no one. |
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