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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I find this *such* a stress.
I make an effort to say more than a single sentence and try not to lead with aggressively sexual stuff. On the other hand, I don’t want to sound like I’m making conversation over tea and scones. It’s a hard balance to strike!
I always read a profile with care, but sometimes it gives you nothing to go on.
What do you like to read?
What guarantees a reply?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I find this *such* a stress.
I make an effort to say more than a single sentence and try not to lead with aggressively sexual stuff. On the other hand, I don’t want to sound like I’m making conversation over tea and scones. It’s a hard balance to strike!
I always read a profile with care, but sometimes it gives you nothing to go on.
What do you like to read?
What guarantees a reply?
"
if its a stranger how can you initiate sexual innuendo, use humour and target profile  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find this *such* a stress.
I make an effort to say more than a single sentence and try not to lead with aggressively sexual stuff. On the other hand, I don’t want to sound like I’m making conversation over tea and scones. It’s a hard balance to strike!
I always read a profile with care, but sometimes it gives you nothing to go on.
What do you like to read?
What guarantees a reply?
"
First off I need to know they've read my profile in full, there's an easy way to show that.
I also want to know what makes the person want me specifically, what have we got in common, what are they looking for that makes us compatible. Also what they're offering that makes them different than the other people getting in touch (apart from their ability to read a profile). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The thing is no matter how good a message is or how tailored it is to me personally if I don't fancy the sender then that's it.
There's no magic formula, there's no convincing me with words. |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"The thing is no matter how good a message is or how tailored it is to me personally if I don't fancy the sender then that's it.
There's no magic formula, there's no convincing me with words. "
Not even cake? |
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"The thing is no matter how good a message is or how tailored it is to me personally if I don't fancy the sender then that's it.
There's no magic formula, there's no convincing me with words.
Not even cake? "
Cheesecake is for the really tough cases  |
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I can't speak for everybody of course, but here is what works for us.
Use our names (which are on our profile) immediately sets you above the others. I'm amazed at how few people ever bother to do this simple thing.
The most important thing is have something to say. It could be something a response to something on our profile or the forum, but it needs to be something you couldn't just copy and paste to a thousand people.
It helps to be completely non-sexual. We are looking for friends, not people to have sex with. It may be we end up having sex with friends, but if you aren't a friend first you won't be getting into bed with us. If you come over as somebody who wants us for sex then you won't get anywhere with us.
Any polite message will get a polite response from us. However, no effort in, no effort in return. |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
Don’t stress about it. Keep it short and simple.
They’ll either reply or they won’t - that is out of your hands.
They may not reply because they’re having a shit day, not necessarily because your message didn’t spark an interest. |
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"I find this *such* a stress.
I make an effort to say more than a single sentence and try not to lead with aggressively sexual stuff. On the other hand, I don’t want to sound like I’m making conversation over tea and scones. It’s a hard balance to strike!
I always read a profile with care, but sometimes it gives you nothing to go on.
What do you like to read?
What guarantees a reply?
"
I always reply to compliments to say thank you. |
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I had a wtf opening statement of an email yesterday. It opened quite flattering so I carried on. The next paragraph detailed specifically in detail how this person was going to dominate me etc. etc.
The only hint I can give you is if you are speaking to a couple then speak to the couple, both parties.
My picture is in the profile but that is because I don't like the ones of us together and we really need to sort that out lol. |
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"I had a wtf opening statement of an email yesterday. It opened quite flattering so I carried on. The next paragraph detailed specifically in detail how this person was going to dominate me etc. etc.
The only hint I can give you is if you are speaking to a couple then speak to the couple, both parties.
My picture is in the profile but that is because I don't like the ones of us together and we really need to sort that out lol. "
The amount of messages we get where they only aim the message at one person is ridiculously.
"Misses is fit. does she fuck other lads?"
And recently had something like "not gonna lie, you're hot. Dtf?"
 |
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"I find this *such* a stress.
I make an effort to say more than a single sentence and try not to lead with aggressively sexual stuff. On the other hand, I don’t want to sound like I’m making conversation over tea and scones. It’s a hard balance to strike!
I always read a profile with care, but sometimes it gives you nothing to go on.
What do you like to read?
What guarantees a reply?
First off I need to know they've read my profile in full, there's an easy way to show that.
I also want to know what makes the person want me specifically, what have we got in common, what are they looking for that makes us compatible. Also what they're offering that makes them different than the other people getting in touch (apart from their ability to read a profile)."
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think lucky timing might have something to do with it. Sometimes I sit and go through messages and reply to all, other times if I have a silly amount I tend to delete without reading- I’m sure others must do this as well.
A reply doesn't mean we ‘click’ though, if a conversation cannot keep a nice flow then it doesn’t matter how good the first message is because it becomes irrelevant after the second |
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"The thing is no matter how good a message is or how tailored it is to me personally if I don't fancy the sender then that's it.
There's no magic formula, there's no convincing me with words. "
I'm convinced this is 90% of the answer!
You may be fanciable to someone after chatting, once they start to see your personality but when a woman is skimming through hundreds of messages the main factor is whether they like the look of you at first glance.
There is luck as Jamie says, plus other factors but this is the main one.
The way through this is engaging in forum threads, no number of brilliantly composed messages will help you! |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"I find this *such* a stress.
I make an effort to say more than a single sentence and try not to lead with aggressively sexual stuff. On the other hand, I don’t want to sound like I’m making conversation over tea and scones. It’s a hard balance to strike!
I always read a profile with care, but sometimes it gives you nothing to go on.
What do you like to read?
What guarantees a reply?
First off I need to know they've read my profile in full, there's an easy way to show that.
I also want to know what makes the person want me specifically, what have we got in common, what are they looking for that makes us compatible. Also what they're offering that makes them different than the other people getting in touch (apart from their ability to read a profile)."
I know people want to know what makes us tick/compatible etc. However We are not doing all that in a first message which lets be honest (we only meet single ladies now) has more chance of going straight in the bin unread as it has of gleaning a good response. Basically if there's no attraction to begin with little of anything else matters.
So our first message will be fairly short maybe one paragraph pointing out what we see as matching areas & asking the person to check out our profile & see if they think along the same lines & then if they respond we will delve deeper. Obviously with this goes a face pic or two.
It's not just the single guys that get disheartened at messages going unread straight to trash after all...& it's why we've probably sent three first messages in the last six months!
Perhaps if more where honest with their profiles & what they were looking for it wouldn't happen so much?
S
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"The thing is no matter how good a message is or how tailored it is to me personally if I don't fancy the sender then that's it.
There's no magic formula, there's no convincing me with words. "
Exactly this, so why would you send war & piece telling a complete stranger everything that you match on & about yourselves & how you tick if all they are going to do is go "No thanks" & delete your message??
Pretty much all you need to start is "We like you & what you say on the forums (if a forumite) we seem to fit so take a look & perhaps we can chat, that with a few face pics is all you should need to start at least a conversation.
A pretty regular response to us used to be "I'm not looking to play with couples at the moment", sometimes attached "I have a regular couple"...Hmm is it too hard to remove them from your profile then until your are looking?? 
S |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Guys, as ever - many thanks! So much useful advice.
I feel like I do a lot of this already. Can only conclude I’m approaching lots of folks who just aren’t digging me ?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The thing is no matter how good a message is or how tailored it is to me personally if I don't fancy the sender then that's it.
There's no magic formula, there's no convincing me with words.
Not even cake?
Cheesecake is for the really tough cases "
I’m tough but hate cheesecake  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At the end of the day, if
1. You are devastatingly handsome
2. Got a 8inch cock
3. Fabulous 6 pack and arms
4. Can hold a conversation
Amy 2 of the 4 will get you a reply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I find this *such* a stress.
I make an effort to say more than a single sentence and try not to lead with aggressively sexual stuff. On the other hand, I don’t want to sound like I’m making conversation over tea and scones. It’s a hard balance to strike!
I always read a profile with care, but sometimes it gives you nothing to go on.
What do you like to read?
What guarantees a reply?
"
I really wouldn’t stress, there’s no hard and fast answer which will garner you a response.
Sometimes it’s not your message which isn’t being responded to but maybe your profile, or your photos, or a mixture of the three.
Who knows. All you can do is be yourself, do what you feel comfortable and have confidence in yourself and your photos / profile.
I’m no yoda Jedi who will get you responses but maybe you’re putting too much thought in to it. |
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