FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Help advise from other parents
Help advise from other parents
Jump to: Newest in thread
Hey guys , just a thread for some advise really we appear to have hit the 7 year wall , fun is few and far between together necer mind with anyone else on fab l. Parenthood appears to hage consumed us and we have vrrt little time to be intimate any advise on to spice things back up we woukd do all the usual naughty night away howevere3 struggle eith child care.
Thanks xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Don't get pissed off with each other.
It can be frustrating but it's neither persons fault, life is tiring especially where there are kids involved and it can leave you not only physically tired but mentally drained too.
Try to make the effort though. Set aside time for yourselves if you can, and when you finally get that time to yourselves you can guarantee the munchkin will throw up and want mummy 
P |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Firstly come away from fab completely.
Go back to basics. Do the kids go to school/nursery? If so take time off together.
Kids have bedtime make time together after that. Even if it's just massages and stroking each other and cuddling get the intimacy back and the sex will follow |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ouanna JoWoman
over a year ago
A little village |
It’s tricky. I have a 13 year old, so it’s easier in the sense that she’s more independent and away having sleepovers at friend a lot etc, giving me and my partner the time we need. We both have exhausting full time jobs too. But as others have said, you just have to try and make the time where you can. Communicate about it - that’s probably the most important thing. Tell each other how you feel and what you need. If you can be open, honest, and respectful with each other, the rest should fall into place. Good luck.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hey guys , just a thread for some advise really we appear to have hit the 7 year wall , fun is few and far between together necer mind with anyone else on fab l. Parenthood appears to hage consumed us and we have vrrt little time to be intimate any advise on to spice things back up we woukd do all the usual naughty night away howevere3 struggle eith child care.
Thanks xx "
I hear you, it can be so hard to find time for each other. I would say, take the time to reconnect sexually - even if you don't have hours, a regular quickie can be exciting - before looking for more on fab.
Mrs TMN x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Firstly come away from fab completely.
Go back to basics. Do the kids go to school/nursery? If so take time off together.
Kids have bedtime make time together after that. Even if it's just massages and stroking each other and cuddling get the intimacy back and the sex will follow"
Fab isnt an issue we both enjoy the social side of the fourum and want to meet , we just dont ever appear to get it sorted ha.
The issue is more about us appearing to lose thst bit of lust for each other and not having the time for each other |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Firstly come away from fab completely.
Go back to basics. Do the kids go to school/nursery? If so take time off together.
Kids have bedtime make time together after that. Even if it's just massages and stroking each other and cuddling get the intimacy back and the sex will follow
Fab isnt an issue we both enjoy the social side of the fourum and want to meet , we just dont ever appear to get it sorted ha.
The issue is more about us appearing to lose thst bit of lust for each other and not having the time for each other "
Your saying fab isn't a issue but if you put those phones down think of all the extra time you will have together. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ouanna JoWoman
over a year ago
A little village |
"Firstly come away from fab completely.
Go back to basics. Do the kids go to school/nursery? If so take time off together.
Kids have bedtime make time together after that. Even if it's just massages and stroking each other and cuddling get the intimacy back and the sex will follow
Fab isnt an issue we both enjoy the social side of the fourum and want to meet , we just dont ever appear to get it sorted ha.
The issue is more about us appearing to lose thst bit of lust for each other and not having the time for each other
Your saying fab isn't a issue but if you put those phones down think of all the extra time you will have together. "
There’s actually something to be said about this. Me and my partner are both guilty of this at times, we’ll sit down shattered after a long day and both be on our phones... we’ve started allocating time aside where both phones are out of the way and it’s just about the two of us. It’s made such a difference.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Firstly come away from fab completely.
Go back to basics. Do the kids go to school/nursery? If so take time off together.
Kids have bedtime make time together after that. Even if it's just massages and stroking each other and cuddling get the intimacy back and the sex will follow
Fab isnt an issue we both enjoy the social side of the fourum and want to meet , we just dont ever appear to get it sorted ha.
The issue is more about us appearing to lose thst bit of lust for each other and not having the time for each other
Your saying fab isn't a issue but if you put those phones down think of all the extra time you will have together. "
Belive me fab isnt a issue but apprichiate the advise x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We dont argue or fall out , we get along well kids go to bed we always have tea together watch t.v. together be it a movie or a box set, always sit together on sofa , its just the adult fun is fewer further apart these days x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
Are the children good sleepers?
Is tiredness an issue? 3 and 5 year olds are full of energy and knackering. If you’re tired then the first thing to suffer is sex.
Is one of you more up for sex than the other or is it just a lack of free time and you’re both gagging for it?
So many variables OP. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Are the children good sleepers?
Is tiredness an issue? 3 and 5 year olds are full of energy and knackering. If you’re tired then the first thing to suffer is sex.
Is one of you more up for sex than the other or is it just a lack of free time and you’re both gagging for it?
So many variables OP."
Yeah , kids sleep quite well , little ones abit of a pain some times , and defiantly one is more up for sex than the other. Sometimes feels like if i didnt try anything or owt like that we could go months without sex |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We dont argue or fall out , we get along well kids go to bed we always have tea together watch t.v. together be it a movie or a box set, always sit together on sofa , its just the adult fun is fewer further apart these days x"
A strict bedtime is important for the kids but also for yourselves. Turn off the telly its just a distraction. Give that time and attention to each other. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We dont argue or fall out , we get along well kids go to bed we always have tea together watch t.v. together be it a movie or a box set, always sit together on sofa , its just the adult fun is fewer further apart these days x
A strict bedtime is important for the kids but also for yourselves. Turn off the telly its just a distraction. Give that time and attention to each other. "
Oh yes had a strict bedtime always never changes the routine |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We sometimes say that it can be very difficult when you have young children. Speaking as part of a couple who have been together nearly 40 years, survived kids, illness and other tough times I'd say don't lose sight of the fact that this stage in your relationship is temporary. Kids do take the gloss off the sexual gingerbread but there will come a time when the children are older, they're out with friends etc and you have loads of time together, you'll both feel less like mum and dad and more like your old selves. It's emotional intimacy that will keep your relationship strong so keep having your evenings with box sets and sharing a laugh over the forums, stay connected emotionally and the rest will follow in time. Is this more a problem for one of you than the other? I know sometimes one partner can feel a bit sidelined. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We sometimes say that it can be very difficult when you have young children. Speaking as part of a couple who have been together nearly 40 years, survived kids, illness and other tough times I'd say don't lose sight of the fact that this stage in your relationship is temporary. Kids do take the gloss off the sexual gingerbread but there will come a time when the children are older, they're out with friends etc and you have loads of time together, you'll both feel less like mum and dad and more like your old selves. It's emotional intimacy that will keep your relationship strong so keep having your evenings with box sets and sharing a laugh over the forums, stay connected emotionally and the rest will follow in time. Is this more a problem for one of you than the other? I know sometimes one partner can feel a bit sidelined. "
Ah that's so much good asvise3 thankyou so much so true , and yeah it gets to me cos i feel like maybe i just dont turn laura oj physicality anymore l. I thinj shes stunning all the time and always wanna have fun , where as i feel sge doesn't or seems to ve a excuse all the time , i have asked her if she still finda me attractive and she says she does so dunno what to think lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Sounds boring BUT planing in advance is worth the effort!!!
Pick a day/evening per month when the two of you can be alone together without any distractions.
Maybe book a hotel in a nearby town or city...Leeds?
Then get the feelers out there and work towards your diary dates.
If its a bi-sexual, local-ish guy you're after, may i put my hat in the ring for consideration  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Sounds boring BUT planing in advance is worth the effort!!!
Pick a day/evening per month when the two of you can be alone together without any distractions.
Maybe book a hotel in a nearby town or city...Leeds?
Then get the feelers out there and work towards your diary dates.
If its a bi-sexual, local-ish guy you're after, may i put my hat in the ring for consideration "
We dont have child care so we have to work around each other at home and its not really about meeting others at the minute its about finding time to enjoy each other again |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We sometimes say that it can be very difficult when you have young children. Speaking as part of a couple who have been together nearly 40 years, survived kids, illness and other tough times I'd say don't lose sight of the fact that this stage in your relationship is temporary. Kids do take the gloss off the sexual gingerbread but there will come a time when the children are older, they're out with friends etc and you have loads of time together, you'll both feel less like mum and dad and more like your old selves. It's emotional intimacy that will keep your relationship strong so keep having your evenings with box sets and sharing a laugh over the forums, stay connected emotionally and the rest will follow in time. Is this more a problem for one of you than the other? I know sometimes one partner can feel a bit sidelined. "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We sometimes say that it can be very difficult when you have young children. Speaking as part of a couple who have been together nearly 40 years, survived kids, illness and other tough times I'd say don't lose sight of the fact that this stage in your relationship is temporary. Kids do take the gloss off the sexual gingerbread but there will come a time when the children are older, they're out with friends etc and you have loads of time together, you'll both feel less like mum and dad and more like your old selves. It's emotional intimacy that will keep your relationship strong so keep having your evenings with box sets and sharing a laugh over the forums, stay connected emotionally and the rest will follow in time. Is this more a problem for one of you than the other? I know sometimes one partner can feel a bit sidelined.
Ah that's so much good asvise3 thankyou so much so true , and yeah it gets to me cos i feel like maybe i just dont turn laura oj physicality anymore l. I thinj shes stunning all the time and always wanna have fun , where as i feel sge doesn't or seems to ve a excuse all the time , i have asked her if she still finda me attractive and she says she does so dunno what to think lol "
This is when it's a good idea to talk. I don't know your relationship obviously but it can be very easy for the guy to feel left out. The woman has so many demands on her that she just needs to have some time when she can just be herself with no obligations on her. The man has pressures on him and just wants to come home to a welcoming partner. Men tend to see physical attention as proof of love where women see emotional attention as proof of love and misunderstanding arises. I don't know the answer but understanding each other's different needs and both compromising can help. This is the side of parenting not many of us are prepared for. Keep at it and talk to each other and |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We sometimes say that it can be very difficult when you have young children. Speaking as part of a couple who have been together nearly 40 years, survived kids, illness and other tough times I'd say don't lose sight of the fact that this stage in your relationship is temporary. Kids do take the gloss off the sexual gingerbread but there will come a time when the children are older, they're out with friends etc and you have loads of time together, you'll both feel less like mum and dad and more like your old selves. It's emotional intimacy that will keep your relationship strong so keep having your evenings with box sets and sharing a laugh over the forums, stay connected emotionally and the rest will follow in time. Is this more a problem for one of you than the other? I know sometimes one partner can feel a bit sidelined.
Ah that's so much good asvise3 thankyou so much so true , and yeah it gets to me cos i feel like maybe i just dont turn laura oj physicality anymore l. I thinj shes stunning all the time and always wanna have fun , where as i feel sge doesn't or seems to ve a excuse all the time , i have asked her if she still finda me attractive and she says she does so dunno what to think lol
This is when it's a good idea to talk. I don't know your relationship obviously but it can be very easy for the guy to feel left out. The woman has so many demands on her that she just needs to have some time when she can just be herself with no obligations on her. The man has pressures on him and just wants to come home to a welcoming partner. Men tend to see physical attention as proof of love where women see emotional attention as proof of love and misunderstanding arises. I don't know the answer but understanding each other's different needs and both compromising can help. This is the side of parenting not many of us are prepared for. Keep at it and talk to each other and "
Most definatly very very wise words which are really apprichiate thankyou xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We sometimes say that it can be very difficult when you have young children. Speaking as part of a couple who have been together nearly 40 years, survived kids, illness and other tough times I'd say don't lose sight of the fact that this stage in your relationship is temporary. Kids do take the gloss off the sexual gingerbread but there will come a time when the children are older, they're out with friends etc and you have loads of time together, you'll both feel less like mum and dad and more like your old selves. It's emotional intimacy that will keep your relationship strong so keep having your evenings with box sets and sharing a laugh over the forums, stay connected emotionally and the rest will follow in time. Is this more a problem for one of you than the other? I know sometimes one partner can feel a bit sidelined.
Ah that's so much good asvise3 thankyou so much so true , and yeah it gets to me cos i feel like maybe i just dont turn laura oj physicality anymore l. I thinj shes stunning all the time and always wanna have fun , where as i feel sge doesn't or seems to ve a excuse all the time , i have asked her if she still finda me attractive and she says she does so dunno what to think lol
This is when it's a good idea to talk. I don't know your relationship obviously but it can be very easy for the guy to feel left out. The woman has so many demands on her that she just needs to have some time when she can just be herself with no obligations on her. The man has pressures on him and just wants to come home to a welcoming partner. Men tend to see physical attention as proof of love where women see emotional attention as proof of love and misunderstanding arises. I don't know the answer but understanding each other's different needs and both compromising can help. This is the side of parenting not many of us are prepared for. Keep at it and talk to each other and
Most definatly very very wise words which are really apprichiate thankyou xx "
The voice of experience lol. Our kids are late 20s and early 30s, we have all the time in the world for each other now. Stay connected, weather this and so will you two. Best wishes to you both |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We sometimes say that it can be very difficult when you have young children. Speaking as part of a couple who have been together nearly 40 years, survived kids, illness and other tough times I'd say don't lose sight of the fact that this stage in your relationship is temporary. Kids do take the gloss off the sexual gingerbread but there will come a time when the children are older, they're out with friends etc and you have loads of time together, you'll both feel less like mum and dad and more like your old selves. It's emotional intimacy that will keep your relationship strong so keep having your evenings with box sets and sharing a laugh over the forums, stay connected emotionally and the rest will follow in time. Is this more a problem for one of you than the other? I know sometimes one partner can feel a bit sidelined.
Ah that's so much good asvise3 thankyou so much so true , and yeah it gets to me cos i feel like maybe i just dont turn laura oj physicality anymore l. I thinj shes stunning all the time and always wanna have fun , where as i feel sge doesn't or seems to ve a excuse all the time , i have asked her if she still finda me attractive and she says she does so dunno what to think lol
This is when it's a good idea to talk. I don't know your relationship obviously but it can be very easy for the guy to feel left out. The woman has so many demands on her that she just needs to have some time when she can just be herself with no obligations on her. The man has pressures on him and just wants to come home to a welcoming partner. Men tend to see physical attention as proof of love where women see emotional attention as proof of love and misunderstanding arises. I don't know the answer but understanding each other's different needs and both compromising can help. This is the side of parenting not many of us are prepared for. Keep at it and talk to each other and
Most definatly very very wise words which are really apprichiate thankyou xx
The voice of experience lol. Our kids are late 20s and early 30s, we have all the time in the world for each other now. Stay connected, weather this and so will you two. Best wishes to you both "
Haha thanks don't worry i dont intend on letting her go that easy i still lust for her like the so called "honey moon " period when u first get together 7 years on lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We sometimes say that it can be very difficult when you have young children. Speaking as part of a couple who have been together nearly 40 years, survived kids, illness and other tough times I'd say don't lose sight of the fact that this stage in your relationship is temporary. Kids do take the gloss off the sexual gingerbread but there will come a time when the children are older, they're out with friends etc and you have loads of time together, you'll both feel less like mum and dad and more like your old selves. It's emotional intimacy that will keep your relationship strong so keep having your evenings with box sets and sharing a laugh over the forums, stay connected emotionally and the rest will follow in time. Is this more a problem for one of you than the other? I know sometimes one partner can feel a bit sidelined.
Ah that's so much good asvise3 thankyou so much so true , and yeah it gets to me cos i feel like maybe i just dont turn laura oj physicality anymore l. I thinj shes stunning all the time and always wanna have fun , where as i feel sge doesn't or seems to ve a excuse all the time , i have asked her if she still finda me attractive and she says she does so dunno what to think lol
This is when it's a good idea to talk. I don't know your relationship obviously but it can be very easy for the guy to feel left out. The woman has so many demands on her that she just needs to have some time when she can just be herself with no obligations on her. The man has pressures on him and just wants to come home to a welcoming partner. Men tend to see physical attention as proof of love where women see emotional attention as proof of love and misunderstanding arises. I don't know the answer but understanding each other's different needs and both compromising can help. This is the side of parenting not many of us are prepared for. Keep at it and talk to each other and "
This is fantastic advice, and as say, not something most people are prepared for. Misunderstandings are all too easy.
Mrs TMN x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
