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The Five Commandments of Fab...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
As it’s that time of year to reflect and learn, let’s help those who want to get to know us. For me.
Thou shalt not:
1. Send me unsolicited dick pics. Even if you’ve drawn on a face or dressed it up. I will recognise what it is.
2. Have pics of you balls deep in an unknown vagina or arse. Why the f*ck do you believe I want to see that?
3. Use the word naughty or nawty. I’m not a child ffs, I know exactly what I’m doing.
4. Creep me out by using hehehe or hahaha. 
5. Call me hun, babe or any other puke worthy ownership term. You have to work if you want to own a part of me...
You see. I’m so easy to please. Your turn  |
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"As it’s that time of year to reflect and learn, let’s help those who want to get to know us. For me.
Thou shalt not:
1. Send me unsolicited dick pics. Even if you’ve drawn on a face or dressed it up. I will recognise what it is.
2. Have pics of you balls deep in an unknown vagina or arse. Why the f*ck do you believe I want to see that?
3. Use the word naughty or nawty. I’m not a child ffs, I know exactly what I’m doing.
4. Creep me out by using hehehe or hahaha.
5. Call me hun, babe or any other puke worthy ownership term. You have to work if you want to own a part of me...
You see. I’m so easy to please. Your turn "
Fuck me, that’s me off yr Xmas card list haha  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As it’s that time of year to reflect and learn, let’s help those who want to get to know us. For me.
Thou shalt not:
1. Send me unsolicited dick pics. Even if you’ve drawn on a face or dressed it up. I will recognise what it is.
2. Have pics of you balls deep in an unknown vagina or arse. Why the f*ck do you believe I want to see that?
3. Use the word naughty or nawty. I’m not a child ffs, I know exactly what I’m doing.
4. Creep me out by using hehehe or hahaha.
5. Call me hun, babe or any other puke worthy ownership term. You have to work if you want to own a part of me...
You see. I’m so easy to please. Your turn "
Yes, and I would lie to add calling me trouble or cheeky. Raarrgghh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As it’s that time of year to reflect and learn, let’s help those who want to get to know us. For me.
Thou shalt not:
1. Send me unsolicited dick pics. Even if you’ve drawn on a face or dressed it up. I will recognise what it is.
2. Have pics of you balls deep in an unknown vagina or arse. Why the f*ck do you believe I want to see that?
3. Use the word naughty or nawty. I’m not a child ffs, I know exactly what I’m doing.
4. Creep me out by using hehehe or hahaha.
5. Call me hun, babe or any other puke worthy ownership term. You have to work if you want to own a part of me...
You see. I’m so easy to please. Your turn "
Hit the nail on the head. Especially number 2 |
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"Thou shall be more chilled in life without so many petty thou shall nots
Reference the ..
Thou shalt not impose your views ....
Hmm. Perhaps I’ve been working with Germans for too long "
V av vays of makin u talk or is thou shall not try to be a comic |
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Thou shall not (in hope more than expectation)
Want to speak on kik/Whatsapp
Mention they want their dick sucked on second message (that's surely a third message request)
Tell me how they would "smash" any of my holes in
Speak in weegie (am only 25 miles away but still need an interpreter)
NOT get my jokes
 |
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Thou shalt not....
Make your first message "Hey, what are you up to?"
Assume we want to shag simply because we happen to be driving through your town.
Answer all our messages with one word replies that make us do ALL the work. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"thou shalt not have a sense of humour
thou shalt not brag
thou shalt not ask for profile help
thou shalt not show ones dick off 26 times  "
But 27 is OK  |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
Do not be rude.
Yep that is about it really lol
Oh wait no calling me babe or hun darling etc when u don't know you puts me off bug time too.
So yep don't be rude or call me babe hun etc. That's all |
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"As it’s that time of year to reflect and learn, let’s help those who want to get to know us. For me.
Thou shalt not:
1. Send me unsolicited dick pics. Even if you’ve drawn on a face or dressed it up. I will recognise what it is.
2. Have pics of you balls deep in an unknown vagina or arse. Why the f*ck do you believe I want to see that?
3. Use the word naughty or nawty. I’m not a child ffs, I know exactly what I’m doing.
4. Creep me out by using hehehe or hahaha.
5. Call me hun, babe or any other puke worthy ownership term. You have to work if you want to own a part of me...
You see. I’m so easy to please. Your turn "
I'm definitely with you here
Plus....
Do not send me a friend request, without messaging first, that means actual chatting, not just a one liner that I've not replied to or ignored
Do not ask me to meet you in your hotel, because I'm local & you're bored, lonely, horny
Do not make a new profile to get round the fact, I blocked your previous 3 profiles
|
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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
1. You reap what you sow.
2. You can send be boob pictures.
3. Treat others as you wish to be treated.
4. You can send me boob pictures.
5. Keep it fun.
6. You can send me boob pictures.
7. The more genuine a person is is inversely proportional to the amount of genuines used.
8. You can send me boob pictures.
|
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Thou shalt not write me a verification to get my attention when i've told you i'm not interested and ignored your messages
Thou shalt not be jealous and posessive over people, especially those that are clearly here to meet multiple people
Thou shalt not tell me i'm beautiful when you can't see my face |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As it’s that time of year to reflect and learn, let’s help those who want to get to know us. For me.
Thou shalt not:
1. Send me unsolicited dick pics. Even if you’ve drawn on a face or dressed it up. I will recognise what it is.
2. Have pics of you balls deep in an unknown vagina or arse. Why the f*ck do you believe I want to see that?
3. Use the word naughty or nawty. I’m not a child ffs, I know exactly what I’m doing.
4. Creep me out by using hehehe or hahaha.
5. Call me hun, babe or any other puke worthy ownership term. You have to work if you want to own a part of me...
You see. I’m so easy to please. Your turn "
I litteratly am dead I think I have wet myself |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
1. Stop messaging our profile when it states we are not looking for meets yet
2. Stop trying to get either one of us to meet without the other - we are a team and when we meet we will only meet as a team |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Thank you everyone. Just looked at these in my break and they’ve really given me the giggles
Thou shalt check the fab forums during work time"
Hush you  |
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"Thank you everyone. Just looked at these in my break and they’ve really given me the giggles
Thou shalt check the fab forums during work time
Hush you "
Thou shalt not silence the monkey lest risk the wrath of poop |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Thank you everyone. Just looked at these in my break and they’ve really given me the giggles
Thou shalt check the fab forums during work time
Hush you
Thou shalt not silence the monkey lest risk the wrath of poop "
You already told me the poop thing was a lie... |
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"Thank you everyone. Just looked at these in my break and they’ve really given me the giggles
Thou shalt check the fab forums during work time
Hush you
Thou shalt not silence the monkey lest risk the wrath of poop
You already told me the poop thing was a lie..."
Fake news for the purposes of misinformation |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"1. You reap what you sow.
2. You can send be boob pictures.
3. Treat others as you wish to be treated.
4. You can send me boob pictures.
5. Keep it fun.
6. You can send me boob pictures.
7. The more genuine a person is is inversely proportional to the amount of genuines used.
8. You can send me boob pictures.
"
Absolutely no 7. Anyone genuine doesn't feel the need to convince others as they just are! The same as those demanding genuine only... Those disingenuous are not going to tell themselves, OK won't bother this one cos he/she wants genuine |
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"As it’s that time of year to reflect and learn, let’s help those who want to get to know us. For me.
Thou shalt not:
1. Send me unsolicited dick pics. Even if you’ve drawn on a face or dressed it up. I will recognise what it is.
2. Have pics of you balls deep in an unknown vagina or arse. Why the f*ck do you believe I want to see that?
3. Use the word naughty or nawty. I’m not a child ffs, I know exactly what I’m doing.
4. Creep me out by using hehehe or hahaha.
5. Call me hun, babe or any other puke worthy ownership term. You have to work if you want to own a part of me...
You see. I’m so easy to please. Your turn "
You've nailed it perfectly, Incandescent! |
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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago
Shangri-la |
"As it’s that time of year to reflect and learn, let’s help those who want to get to know us. For me.
Thou shalt not:
1. Send me unsolicited dick pics. Even if you’ve drawn on a face or dressed it up. I will recognise what it is.
2. Have pics of you balls deep in an unknown vagina or arse. Why the f*ck do you believe I want to see that?
3. Use the word naughty or nawty. I’m not a child ffs, I know exactly what I’m doing.
4. Creep me out by using hehehe or hahaha.
5. Call me hun, babe or any other puke worthy ownership term. You have to work if you want to own a part of me...
You see. I’m so easy to please. Your turn "
Though shalt read the damn profile!
Though shalt not ignore the profile completely and then persistently ask questions that are answered in the profile! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As it’s that time of year to reflect and learn, let’s help those who want to get to know us. For me.
Thou shalt not:
1. Send me unsolicited dick pics. Even if you’ve drawn on a face or dressed it up. I will recognise what it is.
2. Have pics of you balls deep in an unknown vagina or arse. Why the f*ck do you believe I want to see that?
3. Use the word naughty or nawty. I’m not a child ffs, I know exactly what I’m doing.
4. Creep me out by using hehehe or hahaha.
5. Call me hun, babe or any other puke worthy ownership term. You have to work if you want to own a part of me...
You see. I’m so easy to please. Your turn "
Incandescent you naughty girl don't be so uptight babe hehehe, see my friends only pics to see my cock blasting a lucky lady  |
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Thou shalt not send vag pics to straight women.
Thou shalt not send first messages which begin with "do you like to deep throat until you puke", "come and sit on my face", etc.
Thou shalt not send the same copy and paste message to every woman local to you (especially if they have a face pic, but you didn't pay attention, and they know you and the wife you're cheating on - tut tut!) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As it’s that time of year to reflect and learn, let’s help those who want to get to know us. For me.
Thou shalt not:
1. Send me unsolicited dick pics. Even if you’ve drawn on a face or dressed it up. I will recognise what it is.
2. Have pics of you balls deep in an unknown vagina or arse. Why the f*ck do you believe I want to see that?
3. Use the word naughty or nawty. I’m not a child ffs, I know exactly what I’m doing.
4. Creep me out by using hehehe or hahaha.
5. Call me hun, babe or any other puke worthy ownership term. You have to work if you want to own a part of me...
You see. I’m so easy to please. Your turn
Though shalt read the damn profile!
Though shalt not ignore the profile completely and then persistently ask questions that are answered in the profile! "
Yes, yes, yes!
Thou shalt not pretend you've read the profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thou shalt not send vag pics to straight women.
Thou shalt not send first messages which begin with "do you like to deep throat until you puke", "come and sit on my face", etc.
Thou shalt not send the same copy and paste message to every woman local to you (especially if they have a face pic, but you didn't pay attention, and they know you and the wife you're cheating on - tut tut!)"
Thou shalt not send a (tailored) copy n paste message without removing name of previous recipient |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Thou shall not ask if I've had "much luck" on fab !
Thou shall not ask if I ever use the strap on ! (I just wear it down the shops mostly, it's handy for handing the bags on )
Thou shall not tell me I'm "fit" (I'm not, if you see me running then I'm either about to miss a bus or the pubs closing)
Thou shall eat cake and plenty of it (jaffa cakes are not cakes). |
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Thou shalt not :-
Admit there is a click within the forum page
Reply or talk to anyone outside the denied click
Not laugh at any sarcy, funny comment made by a non member of the non click
Be nice to anyone not involved in the so called click
Take a look at persons, not in the, I don’t know what yr talk about non click |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Thou shalt not send vag pics to straight women.
Thou shalt not send first messages which begin with "do you like to deep throat until you puke", "come and sit on my face", etc.
Thou shalt not send the same copy and paste message to every woman local to you (especially if they have a face pic, but you didn't pay attention, and they know you and the wife you're cheating on - tut tut!)
Thou shalt not send a (tailored) copy n paste message without removing name of previous recipient "
|
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1) When measureing your manhood, thou shall use the imperial inch scale- not the fab inch scal, lynx can scale or sky remote scale. Thou shall also measure correctly, not from your arsehole.
2) Thou should not be good looking and miles away
3) Can't Accommodate & Can't travel with be met with great fury
4) Thou should not be attached and playing without consent- unless Bi, female, stunning and willing to meet the complainant
5) Thou should not be dyslexic, Use text speak, ALL CAPITALS, or miss the U out of colour (unless American- but even thats no excuse really)
6) Thou shal be struck down with great vengence and a plague at the mention of religion, politics, Brexit or Platinum Memberships
7) Holly Willabooby will be worshipped as the ultimate heavenly body
8) Thou should have a thick skin and no snowfalkery if posting in the forum- its not a nursery
9) upon posting a controversial comment, thou shou always follow it with the following emoji
10) thou should not set your age or sex filters to exclude me from contacting you- if i find you attractive. Commandments 2 & 3 also apply |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"1) When measureing your manhood, thou shall use the imperial inch scale- not the fab inch scal, lynx can scale or sky remote scale. Thou shall also measure correctly, not from your arsehole.
2) Thou should not be good looking and miles away
3) Can't Accommodate & Can't travel with be met with great fury
4) Thou should not be attached and playing without consent- unless Bi, female, stunning and willing to meet the complainant
5) Thou should not be dyslexic, Use text speak, ALL CAPITALS, or miss the U out of colour (unless American- but even thats no excuse really)
6) Thou shal be struck down with great vengence and a plague at the mention of religion, politics, Brexit or Platinum Memberships
7) Holly Willabooby will be worshipped as the ultimate heavenly body
8) Thou should have a thick skin and no snowfalkery if posting in the forum- its not a nursery
9) upon posting a controversial comment, thou shou always follow it with the following emoji
10) thou should not set your age or sex filters to exclude me from contacting you- if i find you attractive. Commandments 2 & 3 also apply "
Hard man to please... |
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"1) When measureing your manhood, thou shall use the imperial inch scale- not the fab inch scal, lynx can scale or sky remote scale. Thou shall also measure correctly, not from your arsehole.
2) Thou should not be good looking and miles away
3) Can't Accommodate & Can't travel with be met with great fury
4) Thou should not be attached and playing without consent- unless Bi, female, stunning and willing to meet the complainant
5) Thou should not be dyslexic, Use text speak, ALL CAPITALS, or miss the U out of colour (unless American- but even thats no excuse really)
6) Thou shal be struck down with great vengence and a plague at the mention of religion, politics, Brexit or Platinum Memberships
7) Holly Willabooby will be worshipped as the ultimate heavenly body
8) Thou should have a thick skin and no snowfalkery if posting in the forum- its not a nursery
9) upon posting a controversial comment, thou shou always follow it with the following emoji
10) thou should not set your age or sex filters to exclude me from contacting you- if i find you attractive. Commandments 2 & 3 also apply
Hard man to please... "
Oh i'm not that bad....that avatar pic you have up there is certainly pleasing my eyes this morning  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As it’s that time of year to reflect and learn, let’s help those who want to get to know us. For me.
Thou shalt not:
1. Send me unsolicited dick pics. Even if you’ve drawn on a face or dressed it up. I will recognise what it is.
2. Have pics of you balls deep in an unknown vagina or arse. Why the f*ck do you believe I want to see that?
3. Use the word naughty or nawty. I’m not a child ffs, I know exactly what I’m doing.
4. Creep me out by using hehehe or hahaha.
5. Call me hun, babe or any other puke worthy ownership term. You have to work if you want to own a part of me...
You see. I’m so easy to please. Your turn
Yes, and I would lie to add calling me trouble or cheeky. Raarrgghh"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As it’s that time of year to reflect and learn, let’s help those who want to get to know us. For me.
Thou shalt not:
1. Send me unsolicited dick pics. Even if you’ve drawn on a face or dressed it up. I will recognise what it is.
2. Have pics of you balls deep in an unknown vagina or arse. Why the f*ck do you believe I want to see that?
3. Use the word naughty or nawty. I’m not a child ffs, I know exactly what I’m doing.
4. Creep me out by using hehehe or hahaha.
5. Call me hun, babe or any other puke worthy ownership term. You have to work if you want to own a part of me...
You see. I’m so easy to please. Your turn "
Thou shalt forget about the shalt nots when a righteous dude with all the right proportions appears
Thou shalt not punch above ones average when indulging in a bit a message pest-ery |
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"I’ve noticed it predominantly the ladies that are saying “thou shalt not”
Just an observation...
thou shalt not upset... think this comment might "
Thou shalt not is usually how commandments go. They tend to be quite negative. Maybe we can change that...
1. Thou shalt use a picture of your face
2. Thou shalt address both members of a couple unless one is specified
3. Thou shalt keep thy toys in the pram should anyone not choose to be with you
... and so on! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Based on a particularly disgusting message yesterday..
Thou shalt not say my tiny body looks like it should be abused.
..yeah.
"
I hope you reported this animal. |
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"Based on a particularly disgusting message yesterday..
Thou shalt not say my tiny body looks like it should be abused.
..yeah.
I hope you reported this animal."
Beast got to the message before I did and tore the guy a new arsehole and reported him.
We stayed off of fab for the night after that. It was too much. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Based on a particularly disgusting message yesterday..
Thou shalt not say my tiny body looks like it should be abused.
..yeah.
I hope you reported this animal.
Beast got to the message before I did and tore the guy a new arsehole and reported him.
We stayed off of fab for the night after that. It was too much. "
Glad to see you’re back though. Horrible but only one complete fuckwit compared to lots of rather nice guys on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
1. Just because you said or wrote it, doesnt make it a fact.
2. Who ever makes contact sends the first facepic
3. Treat others as you wish be treated regardless of their behaviour
4. You're going to get a confidence knock. Roll with it and smile.
5. If noone else will shag you, I probably will. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As it’s that time of year to reflect and learn, let’s help those who want to get to know us. For me.
Thou shalt not:
1. Send me unsolicited dick pics. Even if you’ve drawn on a face or dressed it up. I will recognise what it is.
2. Have pics of you balls deep in an unknown vagina or arse. Why the f*ck do you believe I want to see that?
3. Use the word naughty or nawty. I’m not a child ffs, I know exactly what I’m doing.
4. Creep me out by using hehehe or hahaha.
5. Call me hun, babe or any other puke worthy ownership term. You have to work if you want to own a part of me...
You see. I’m so easy to please. Your turn "
Love it!!!! Every newbie needs to read this upon joining. |
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