FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Bum washing - how far in?

Bum washing - how far in?

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

After a very confusing conversation with a friend I came to the realisation that they wash _inside_ their bum - that is, they finger themselves a small amount when cleaning, instead of simply washing the outside. And they're convinced this is normal, and I'm the weird one. Always done it, since they can remember.

This is the only social media site I can get clarification on this. And no, we're not talking about douching - it was compared to "cleaning inside the ear"!

Am I the only one not doing this?!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’m crying here

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"After a very confusing conversation with a friend I came to the realisation that they wash _inside_ their bum - that is, they finger themselves a small amount when cleaning, instead of simply washing the outside. And they're convinced this is normal, and I'm the weird one. Always done it, since they can remember.

This is the only social media site I can get clarification on this. And no, we're not talking about douching - it was compared to "cleaning inside the ear"!

Am I the only one not doing this?!"
like wtf

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is the only social media site I can get clarification on this. And no, we're not talking about douching - it was compared to "cleaning inside the ear"!

Am I the only one not doing this?!like wtf "

Clean your ears out

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Give yourself a gentle flushing, saves getting shitty fingers

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh dear. I think this may be enough forum fun for me tonight....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Oh dear. I think this may be enough forum fun for me tonight....

xN"

I ear you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Oh dear. I think this may be enough forum fun for me tonight....

I ear you

N x

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By *o_eye_deerMan over a year ago

The South Near That London

Use nothing smaller than your elbow

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By *adylydfordWoman over a year ago

altinkum

Ever heard of douching? Before meets i give myself an enema so there is no risk of shit leaking out.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thank you for the best laugh of the night, just reading the thread title

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

They never hestd of wet wipes? Jesus, their parents have everything to answer for!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Dying here

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Ever heard of douching? Before meets i give myself an enema so there is no risk of shit leaking out. "

No, this is definitely not douching. This is a daily washing routine, and it's why they didn't understand how it would be clean to use a flannel when washing down there.

At least they're relieved I'm not sticking a flannel up my bum, I guess.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Dying here

My belly is aching from laughing, I’ve got tears and snot too

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By *andybeachWoman over a year ago

In the middle

"Use nothing smaller than your elbow"

That’s your ear not your bum home

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sat night staying in is the new going out..

Only on fab x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh my!!!

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By *eeleyWoman over a year ago

Dudley

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Use nothing smaller than your elbow

That’s your ear not your bum home

ET bum home

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By *o_eye_deerMan over a year ago

The South Near That London

"Use nothing smaller than your elbow

That’s your ear not your bum home

My bum home? I thought most bumS were homeless, as in “I saw a homeless bum outside the tube station”

besides I often get told I don’t know my arse from my elbow! Wait! That’s not right either

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By *lbinoGorillaMan over a year ago

Redditch

Have we finally reached peak Internet??

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Damn and the forum awards were announced earlier too - this would have been a contender for thread of the year surely?!

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Ever heard of douching? Before meets i give myself an enema so there is no risk of shit leaking out.

No, this is definitely not douching. This is a daily washing routine, and it's why they didn't understand how it would be clean to use a flannel when washing down there.

At least they're relieved I'm not sticking a flannel up my bum, I guess."

wait! Who's using a flannel?

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By *o_eye_deerMan over a year ago

The South Near That London

"Have we finally reached peak Internet??

I’d say it’s more of trough than a peak, although if you looked at upside down...

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By *plpxp2Couple over a year ago

Middlesbrough

Please don't mention cotton buds

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By *andybeachWoman over a year ago

In the middle

"Use nothing smaller than your elbow

That’s your ear not your bum home

My bum home? I thought most bumS were homeless, as in “I saw a homeless bum outside the tube station”

besides I often get told I don’t know my arse from my elbow! Wait! That’s not right either "

auto correct strikes again

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Damn and the forum awards were announced earlier too - this would have been a contender for thread of the year surely?!

Absolutely brilliant

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Back to the boxing

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By *ools and the brainCouple over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Bumhoolieo

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By *attb179Man over a year ago

London

Think we need some diagrams for clarification

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

I wash very thoroughly but can't say that I finger my arse with soap.

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

This is the only social media site I can get clarification on this. And no, we're not talking about douching - it was compared to "cleaning inside the ear"!

Am I the only one not doing this?!"

This sounds totally normal to me!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/12/19 21:29:59]

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"Damn and the forum awards were announced earlier too - this would have been a contender for thread of the year surely?!

Absolutely brilliant

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Gets rid of tagnuts or otherwise known as clinkers

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wash very thoroughly but can't say that I finger my arse with soap."

Please tell me I’m not the only one rolling around with laughter

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wash very thoroughly but can't say that I finger my arse with soap.

Please tell me I’m not the only one rolling around with laughter

Ermm....no you are certainly not.

N x

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"I wash very thoroughly but can't say that I finger my arse with soap.

Please tell me I’m not the only one rolling around with laughter

Oh no you're not

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"wait! Who's using a flannel?"

You don't use a flannel?

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"wait! Who's using a flannel?

You don't use a flannel?"

I find cotton buds good. but the loofer well I enjoy that

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"wait! Who's using a flannel?

You don't use a flannel?

I find cotton buds good. but the loofer well I enjoy that

I tie a flannel to the end of a rolling pin

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By *attb179Man over a year ago

London

"I wash very thoroughly but can't say that I finger my arse with soap.

Please tell me I’m not the only one rolling around with laughter

Oh no you're not

I'm now wondering why you like marmite so much

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Please don't mention cotton buds

OMG - I need a feeling slightly sick emoji here....what if the cotton bit came off?

x N

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By *attb179Man over a year ago

London

"wait! Who's using a flannel?

You don't use a flannel?"

My grandad used to used a flannel. Never asked him if he fingered his arse... Shame

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"Please don't mention cotton buds

OMG - I need a feeling slightly sick emoji here....what if the cotton bit came off?

x N"

what fun I'd have finding it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wash very thoroughly but can't say that I finger my arse with soap.

Please tell me I’m not the only one rolling around with laughter

Oh no you're not

I'm now wondering why you like marmite so much

I like putting it on my bum with a flannel

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"wait! Who's using a flannel?

You don't use a flannel?

I find cotton buds good. but the loofer well I enjoy that

I tie a flannel to the end of a rolling pin

I'm always up for trying new things..I'm nothing if not open minded

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Please don't mention cotton buds

OMG - I need a feeling slightly sick emoji here....what if the cotton bit came off?

x N

what fun I'd have finding it

You'd certainly be very clean if you used the soap and your fingers to fetch it out!

x N

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By *rivateparts!Man over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

I use a Karcher power wash

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wash very thoroughly but can't say that I finger my arse with soap.

Please tell me I’m not the only one rolling around with laughter

Oh no you're not

I'm now wondering why you like marmite so much

I like putting it on my bum with a flannel

MARMITE?????

N x

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By *attb179Man over a year ago

London

"I wash very thoroughly but can't say that I finger my arse with soap.

Please tell me I’m not the only one rolling around with laughter

Oh no you're not

I'm now wondering why you like marmite so much

I like putting it on my bum with a flannel

Must tingle hehe

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I use a Karcher power wash

Let’s borrow it, mine could do with a good blow out

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"I use a Karcher power wash

That's living dangerously PP. But the jet of the power shower head now that works

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I use a Karcher power wash

A cavernous rectum then!

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By *attb179Man over a year ago

London

My 4 Yr old boy had constipation last year... No maybe that story's not appropriate even for this thread lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Damn and the forum awards were announced earlier too - this would have been a contender for thread of the year surely?!

Absolutely brilliant

An early and strong contender for next year!!

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By *rivateparts!Man over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

"I use a Karcher power wash

That's living dangerously PP. But the jet of the power shower head now that works

You best come and show me how it works

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By *o_eye_deerMan over a year ago

The South Near That London

"wait! Who's using a flannel?

You don't use a flannel?

I find cotton buds good. but the loofer well I enjoy that

I tie a flannel to the end of a rolling pin

I'm always up for trying new things..I'm nothing if not open minded

Your mind certainly wouldn’t be the only thing opened!

I digress! all this talk of kitchen utensils has got me positively tumescent - FAF?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Well I'm glad I tickled you all. I feel like we have some consensus here.

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By *attb179Man over a year ago

London

I think OP was hoping for an in depth discussion on the matter

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I buy four bars of soap monthly and on the last Sunday of each month I sit down with them and I carve them all into tiny little penis shapes.

When I'm in the shower I slide them in and out, usually around five or six times to make sure my hole is clean. I thought this was standard?

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"Well I'm glad I tickled you all. I feel like we have some consensus here."

My mom just asked what im chuckling at

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By *o_eye_deerMan over a year ago

The South Near That London

"I think OP was hoping for an in depth discussion on the matter "

In depth might be an exaggeration - it was only up to the first knuckle

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By *xperimentalistMan over a year ago

East Yorkshire

Why do I keep coming back to this hoping it will have got better??

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By *olieandSlaveCouple over a year ago

Stafford

"I use a Karcher power wash

I use the husbands toothbrush

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why do I keep coming back to this hoping it will have got better?? "

I do too

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By *attb179Man over a year ago

London

"I buy four bars of soap monthly and on the last Sunday of each month I sit down with them and I carve them all into tiny little penis shapes.

When I'm in the shower I slide them in and out, usually around five or six times to make sure my hole is clean. I thought this was standard?

I buy finger shaped soap from aliexpress, not artistic like you

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"I use a Karcher power wash

I use the husbands toothbrush

Oh dear me

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By *attb179Man over a year ago

London

"I use a Karcher power wash

I use the husbands toothbrush

What do you think he uses yours for??

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By *attb179Man over a year ago

London

"I think OP was hoping for an in depth discussion on the matter

In depth might be an exaggeration - it was only up to the first knuckle "

OP has long fingers

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I buy four bars of soap monthly and on the last Sunday of each month I sit down with them and I carve them all into tiny little penis shapes.

When I'm in the shower I slide them in and out, usually around five or six times to make sure my hole is clean. I thought this was standard?

I buy finger shaped soap from aliexpress, not artistic like you

Now why didn't I think to look on there?!? They really do have everything!

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By *o_eye_deerMan over a year ago

The South Near That London

"I think OP was hoping for an in depth discussion on the matter

In depth might be an exaggeration - it was only up to the first knuckle

OP has long fingers

I’ll take your word for it

Poor choice of emoji I’m now imagining someone eyeing up that thumb for use as a depth gauge!

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman over a year ago

Victoria, London

gullible!

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By *olieandSlaveCouple over a year ago

Stafford

"I use a Karcher power wash

I use the husbands toothbrush

What do you think he uses yours for?? "

Jokes on you, I dont use one

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By *attb179Man over a year ago

London

"I buy four bars of soap monthly and on the last Sunday of each month I sit down with them and I carve them all into tiny little penis shapes.

When I'm in the shower I slide them in and out, usually around five or six times to make sure my hole is clean. I thought this was standard?

I buy finger shaped soap from aliexpress, not artistic like you

Now why didn't I think to look on there?!? They really do have everything!

Start importing them, you may be on to something!

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By *ools and the brainCouple over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Loufer up the bum

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Is she a west ham supporter?

"I'm forever blowing bubbles"

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By *ickygirl41Woman over a year ago

Glasgow

"I wash very thoroughly but can't say that I finger my arse with soap.

Please tell me I’m not the only one rolling around with laughter

I was briefly at risk of losing bladder control and I've definitely scared my kitten.

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By *attb179Man over a year ago

London

How many of us are going to try a finger next time?

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By *ickygirl41Woman over a year ago

Glasgow

"I use a Karcher power wash

Cleans patios AND colons!!!

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"wait! Who's using a flannel?

You don't use a flannel?"

the only place I use a flannel is my face

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Absolutely dying over here

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By *ickygirl41Woman over a year ago

Glasgow

"I think OP was hoping for an in depth discussion on the matter

In depth might be an exaggeration - it was only up to the first knuckle "

Spat ma tea

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By *o_eye_deerMan over a year ago

The South Near That London

"wait! Who's using a flannel?

You don't use a flannel?

the only place I use a flannel is my face"

But for some, their arse is the better looking end

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Give yourself a gentle flushing, saves getting shitty fingers

Or use a poofah

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By *ottielayWoman over a year ago

by the bay

"wait! Who's using a flannel?

You don't use a flannel?

the only place I use a flannel is my face

But for some, their arse is the better looking end"

One side for each

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"wait! Who's using a flannel?

You don't use a flannel?

the only place I use a flannel is my face

But for some, their arse is the better looking end"

this is true

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"wait! Who's using a flannel?

You don't use a flannel?

the only place I use a flannel is my face

But for some, their arse is the better looking end"

Oof

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By *attb179Man over a year ago

London

"I think OP was hoping for an in depth discussion on the matter

In depth might be an exaggeration - it was only up to the first knuckle

Spat ma tea"

Probably because you went past the fist knuckle

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By *attb179Man over a year ago

London

"I think OP was hoping for an in depth discussion on the matter

In depth might be an exaggeration - it was only up to the first knuckle

Spat ma tea

Probably because you went past the fist knuckle

First*, omg what a typo!

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By *o_eye_deerMan over a year ago

The South Near That London

"I think OP was hoping for an in depth discussion on the matter

In depth might be an exaggeration - it was only up to the first knuckle

Spat ma tea

Probably because you went past the fist knuckle

Fist knuckle! Christ man you don’t go from a fingertip to whole hand just-like-that! You need to remove all jewellery and watches first

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By *ohn julie 500Couple over a year ago

leeds

a finger up the bum ?? they shoul use a toilet brush

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By *ecadent_DevonMan over a year ago

Okehampton

Lush do a soap shaped like a finger of fudge.

The above statement is not meant to imply that I shove soap up my arse. But cleanliness is next to fabulousness

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I deep clean every day and douche if I’m meeting.

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By *s_bettyboopWoman over a year ago

-3

I love this thread

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I deep clean every day and douche if I’m meeting."

Listerine?

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS over a year ago

Stockport

Dental floss anyone?

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

I really don’t see why this is funny!

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By *attb179Man over a year ago

London

[Removed by poster at 07/12/19 23:38:02]

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By *attb179Man over a year ago

London

"Dental floss anyone?"

My jap eye is clean thanks

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS over a year ago

Stockport

"Dental floss anyone?

My jap eye is clean thanks"

Got to thread it all the way through...

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By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

Now I'm worried I'm washing my bum wrong

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You win the internet, OP

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Now I'm worried I'm washing my bum wrong

Well how are you washing your bum?

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Now I'm worried I'm washing my bum wrong

I'm pretty sure none of us are. I suspect the human race hasn't survived this long without correct bum hygiene

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By *uenevereWoman over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I'm sat in the pub trying desperately not to laugh out loud

OP you have strange friends

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By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

"Now I'm worried I'm washing my bum wrong

Well how are you washing your bum?"

The same as your friend

. Only a tiny bit. Must be less than a cm.

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By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

"Now I'm worried I'm washing my bum wrong

I'm pretty sure none of us are. I suspect the human race hasn't survived this long without correct bum hygiene

Unfortunately some don't wash it at all. There's a whole Reddit thread about men who think it's gay to wash their bum or even wipe between their cheeks

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By *uenevereWoman over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"Now I'm worried I'm washing my bum wrong

I'm pretty sure none of us are. I suspect the human race hasn't survived this long without correct bum hygiene

Unfortunately some don't wash it at all. There's a whole Reddit thread about men who think it's gay to wash their bum or even wipe between their cheeks

I wish I hadn't read that...

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By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

"Now I'm worried I'm washing my bum wrong

I'm pretty sure none of us are. I suspect the human race hasn't survived this long without correct bum hygiene

Unfortunately some don't wash it at all. There's a whole Reddit thread about men who think it's gay to wash their bum or even wipe between their cheeks

I wish I hadn't read that..."

Its a disturbing read. Also the guy who didn't think men used toilet seats!

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Now I'm worried I'm washing my bum wrong

I'm pretty sure none of us are. I suspect the human race hasn't survived this long without correct bum hygiene

Unfortunately some don't wash it at all. There's a whole Reddit thread about men who think it's gay to wash their bum or even wipe between their cheeks

blimey!

Yet still the world turns and the human race lives on

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Now I'm worried I'm washing my bum wrong

I'm pretty sure none of us are. I suspect the human race hasn't survived this long without correct bum hygiene

Unfortunately some don't wash it at all. There's a whole Reddit thread about men who think it's gay to wash their bum or even wipe between their cheeks

what do they expect? Their other half to lick it clean?

Please tell me it's in a county with a bidet in every bog.

I just realised. Other half

as if they'd snaffle one up, or maybe she has no sense of smell, or is canine

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By *orraine999Woman over a year ago

Somewhere

Fab is now considered educational? Who knew...

I'm laughing so hard, I'm crying.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Now I'm worried I'm washing my bum wrong

Well how are you washing your bum?

The same as your friend

. Only a tiny bit. Must be less than a cm. "

I mean, it's not _wrong_. I don't think it does any harm. You're both still alive.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Now I'm worried I'm washing my bum wrong

I'm pretty sure none of us are. I suspect the human race hasn't survived this long without correct bum hygiene

Unfortunately some don't wash it at all. There's a whole Reddit thread about men who think it's gay to wash their bum or even wipe between their cheeks

I wish I hadn't read that...

Its a disturbing read. Also the guy who didn't think men used toilet seats!

What? Did he aim it like a torpedo when having a crap?

I want to investigate but don't know if my brain can handle it

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By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

"Now I'm worried I'm washing my bum wrong

I'm pretty sure none of us are. I suspect the human race hasn't survived this long without correct bum hygiene

Unfortunately some don't wash it at all. There's a whole Reddit thread about men who think it's gay to wash their bum or even wipe between their cheeks

blimey!

Yet still the world turns and the human race lives on

Its a miracle really isn't it!

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By *isaAndNicoleTransTV/TS over a year ago

Southport / Ellesmere Port

Fingers! I prefer to use a loofah up mine

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By *iamondCougarWoman over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

Oh my god! I have never laughed so much in my life!!!

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By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

"Now I'm worried I'm washing my bum wrong

I'm pretty sure none of us are. I suspect the human race hasn't survived this long without correct bum hygiene

Unfortunately some don't wash it at all. There's a whole Reddit thread about men who think it's gay to wash their bum or even wipe between their cheeks

what do they expect? Their other half to lick it clean?

Please tell me it's in a county with a bidet in every bog.

I just realised. Other half

as if they'd snaffle one up, or maybe she has no sense of smell, or is canine

No idea and nope. A lot of the contributions to the thread were girlfriends asking for help getting their boyfriend to wash his bum

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By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

"Now I'm worried I'm washing my bum wrong

Well how are you washing your bum?

The same as your friend

. Only a tiny bit. Must be less than a cm.

I mean, it's not _wrong_. I don't think it does any harm. You're both still alive."

Its just wrinkly and some people stick their tongues there and I'm a germaphobe

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I get the shower puff thing on mine. No wonder it's angry. Scrub that fucker within a pile of it's life.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Omg this is hilarious

. Almost beats the hoover thread!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Now I'm worried I'm washing my bum wrong

I'm pretty sure none of us are. I suspect the human race hasn't survived this long without correct bum hygiene

Unfortunately some don't wash it at all. There's a whole Reddit thread about men who think it's gay to wash their bum or even wipe between their cheeks

what do they expect? Their other half to lick it clean?

Please tell me it's in a county with a bidet in every bog.

I just realised. Other half

as if they'd snaffle one up, or maybe she has no sense of smell, or is canine

No idea and nope. A lot of the contributions to the thread were girlfriends asking for help getting their boyfriend to wash his bum

Oh my lordy lord of lordsville. This is too much for even me, and I'm disgusting

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By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

"Now I'm worried I'm washing my bum wrong

I'm pretty sure none of us are. I suspect the human race hasn't survived this long without correct bum hygiene

Unfortunately some don't wash it at all. There's a whole Reddit thread about men who think it's gay to wash their bum or even wipe between their cheeks

I wish I hadn't read that...

Its a disturbing read. Also the guy who didn't think men used toilet seats!

What? Did he aim it like a torpedo when having a crap?

I want to investigate but don't know if my brain can handle it

Apparently he sat right on the porcelain. He only realised he was doing it wrong when talking to a male sales person when buying a new bathroom.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Now I'm worried I'm washing my bum wrong

Well how are you washing your bum?

The same as your friend

. Only a tiny bit. Must be less than a cm.

I mean, it's not _wrong_. I don't think it does any harm. You're both still alive.

Its just wrinkly and some people stick their tongues there and I'm a germaphobe

I need to know... have you ever blown a soap bubble when farting?

If so, this is how I'm washing my balloon knot forever more.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Now I'm worried I'm washing my bum wrong

I'm pretty sure none of us are. I suspect the human race hasn't survived this long without correct bum hygiene

Unfortunately some don't wash it at all. There's a whole Reddit thread about men who think it's gay to wash their bum or even wipe between their cheeks

I wish I hadn't read that...

Its a disturbing read. Also the guy who didn't think men used toilet seats!

What? Did he aim it like a torpedo when having a crap?

I want to investigate but don't know if my brain can handle it

Apparently he sat right on the porcelain. He only realised he was doing it wrong when talking to a male sales person when buying a new bathroom."

Poor sod! He must have a big bum coz when I do that after the kid has left the seat up and I've not noticed I've nearly fallen in! Plus the porcelain is freezing

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By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

"Now I'm worried I'm washing my bum wrong

Well how are you washing your bum?

The same as your friend

. Only a tiny bit. Must be less than a cm.

I mean, it's not _wrong_. I don't think it does any harm. You're both still alive.

Its just wrinkly and some people stick their tongues there and I'm a germaphobe

I need to know... have you ever blown a soap bubble when farting?

If so, this is how I'm washing my balloon knot forever more.

Hahaha!! No!! I think I'd need hell of a lot of soap up my bum to manage that one!

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By *acey_RedWoman over a year ago

Liverpool

"Now I'm worried I'm washing my bum wrong

I'm pretty sure none of us are. I suspect the human race hasn't survived this long without correct bum hygiene

Unfortunately some don't wash it at all. There's a whole Reddit thread about men who think it's gay to wash their bum or even wipe between their cheeks

I wish I hadn't read that...

Its a disturbing read. Also the guy who didn't think men used toilet seats!

What? Did he aim it like a torpedo when having a crap?

I want to investigate but don't know if my brain can handle it

Apparently he sat right on the porcelain. He only realised he was doing it wrong when talking to a male sales person when buying a new bathroom.

Poor sod! He must have a big bum coz when I do that after the kid has left the seat up and I've not noticed I've nearly fallen in! Plus the porcelain is freezing

I know right! And the rim is kinda gross on public loos!

I've PM'd you a link if your stomach is strong enough! If anyone else wants a read drop me a message!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Now I'm worried I'm washing my bum wrong

I'm pretty sure none of us are. I suspect the human race hasn't survived this long without correct bum hygiene

Unfortunately some don't wash it at all. There's a whole Reddit thread about men who think it's gay to wash their bum or even wipe between their cheeks

I wish I hadn't read that...

Its a disturbing read. Also the guy who didn't think men used toilet seats!

What? Did he aim it like a torpedo when having a crap?

I want to investigate but don't know if my brain can handle it

Apparently he sat right on the porcelain. He only realised he was doing it wrong when talking to a male sales person when buying a new bathroom.

Poor sod! He must have a big bum coz when I do that after the kid has left the seat up and I've not noticed I've nearly fallen in! Plus the porcelain is freezing

I know right! And the rim is kinda gross on public loos!

I've PM'd you a link if your stomach is strong enough! If anyone else wants a read drop me a message!"

Omg I didn't even think about public loos and the splashback already on it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I had to read it twice loooool

Fml

I just got in sat down with coffee n cheese on toast and I’m reading bum finger washing wtf

Saturday special !!!

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By *iamondCougarWoman over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

"I had to read it twice loooool

Fml

I just got in sat down with coffee n cheese on toast and I’m reading bum finger washing wtf

Saturday special !!! "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’ve got a spare jet wash with drain cleaning attachment if you wanna borrow it lol

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By *hilloutMan over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

This is pure comedy gold

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That should do the job lol

Your have a grinner like a wizards sleeve after but boy will it be clean looooool

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Scottish bloke taking an age in the shower. Wife shouts in, "Sweetheart, what's taking so long?"

He replies "I'm checking for McNuggets"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’m in tears here

Tomorrow’s pub topic

Hello mate how do you wash your grinner ?

Fml lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’m in tears here

Tomorrow’s pub topic

Hello mate how do you wash your grinner ?

Fml lol "

The scrunch or fold loo roll debate has been running forever, this is the 2020 version

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you got any stubborn bits aka Clingons lol

Spirit of salts x

Thank me later

Your eyes may sting a little

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As we on toilet humour

You can’t beat a banging crap and you wipe your butt and the paper is clean !

Also

Difference between a good shit and a good shag ? You ain’t gotta cuddle the shit after

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I had a coffee enema once in Thailand

Me n the boys or got slaughtered and ended up in a wellness centre getting coffee pumped up are arses lol

Tell you what tho if red bull gives you wings that gave you a rocket back pack lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Made ya farts a bit tasty for a week too lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Right I’m off lol

To wash me bum lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I deep clean every day and douche if I’m meeting.

Listerine?

Have you tried that stuff up your arse?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Crying

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Rinsing ya ringer a la finger loooool

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By *ix-foot-two-stuMan over a year ago

Coventry

At least using a flannel is better than using the curtains

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is the only social media site I can get clarification on this. And no, we're not talking about douching - it was compared to "cleaning inside the ear"!

Am I the only one not doing this?!"
cleaning my arse with a finger lol who knows

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

Is it normal? Wanting to know for friends.

Hope soaps are sensitive. Bidets aren't prolific in the UK, it's a pity. Wipes are a big environmental hazard

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By *attb179Man over a year ago

London

"Dental floss anyone?

My jap eye is clean thanks

Got to thread it all the way through..."

That's where I've been going wrong all these years!

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By *attb179Man over a year ago

London

[Removed by poster at 08/12/19 01:11:22]

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By *attb179Man over a year ago

London

"Now I'm worried I'm washing my bum wrong

I'm pretty sure none of us are. I suspect the human race hasn't survived this long without correct bum hygiene

Unfortunately some don't wash it at all. There's a whole Reddit thread about men who think it's gay to wash their bum or even wipe between their cheeks

On reddit they're saying apparently there's a Fab thread about bum washing

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Bump

..for those that that may have missed this

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By *aekaeWoman over a year ago

Between a cock and a soft place

"Bump

..for those that that may have missed this

I'm not sure whether to thank you or not.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

4 fingers to 2nd nuckle so i can create a vacuum wiggling them

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Bump

..for those that that may have missed this

I'm not sure whether to thank you or not.

Did you laugh though?...I cried and rolled around laughing

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By *aekaeWoman over a year ago

Between a cock and a soft place

"Bump

..for those that that may have missed this

I'm not sure whether to thank you or not.

Did you laugh though?...I cried and rolled around laughing

Cry laughing.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Bump

..for those that that may have missed this

I'm not sure whether to thank you or not.

Did you laugh though?...I cried and rolled around laughing

Cry laughing.

When I laugh really hard I can’t breathe get belly ache and cry....

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

If you use the mint and tea tree shower gel it really makes your ring tingle!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Isn’t that why soap on a rope was invented?

So you don’t lose it up there?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Soap on a rope?

Threads like this are the reason I love Fab's forums

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Now I'm worried I'm washing my bum wrong

I'm pretty sure none of us are. I suspect the human race hasn't survived this long without correct bum hygiene

Unfortunately some don't wash it at all. There's a whole Reddit thread about men who think it's gay to wash their bum or even wipe between their cheeks

On reddit they're saying apparently there's a Fab thread about bum washing

Which subreddit?

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By *aeganaWoman over a year ago

birmingham

Peeing myself laughing here lovin this x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’m crying here

You are not the only one

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’m crying here

You are not the only one "

It gets funnier every time I read it

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By *teveanddebsCouple over a year ago

Norwich

Find someone you don't like and use their toothbrush.

Great if the chalfonts are a bit itchy.

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By *SAchickWoman over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Best. Thread. Title. Ever.

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"I’m crying here

This is why I’m on Fab, I’ve now decided. The thread titles that a-haunt you forever!

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By *isaB45Woman over a year ago

Fabville

Jet wash. It's the only way..

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By *rallyFixated1Man over a year ago

tipton

"Find someone you don't like and use their toothbrush.

Great if the chalfonts are a bit itchy."

Fuckin chalfonts

I haven’t heard that for ages lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Erm as long as you don’t lose the shower gel bottle all good !!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Find someone you don't like and use their toothbrush.

Great if the chalfonts are a bit itchy.

Fuckin chalfonts

I haven’t heard that for ages lol "

Hahaha! Me neither

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I love this thread

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Oh god, I’m pissing myself here - and on to the wife’s wet knickers thread next

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By *hMyGawdCouple over a year ago

Midlands

*logs out*

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

Bumtastic

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"*logs out*"

I’m touching cloth here from laughing

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