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Write the worst profile ever
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Thinking about the worst comments read in profiles and the forum, is it possible to write the worst profile ever?
Intended as light hearted fun, not to offend anyone.
Can we write a profile between us for a person that no one would ever touch with a barge pole?
Use the reply and quote button so it reads as fluently as possible.
Add your own line or two.
I'll start...
I'm a really hot guy, I'm always told I am a god in bed. |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"Thinking about the worst comments read in profiles and the forum, is it possible to write the worst profile ever?
Intended as light hearted fun, not to offend anyone.
Can we write a profile between us for a person that no one would ever touch with a barge pole?
Use the reply and quote button so it reads as fluently as possible.
Add your own line or two.
I'll start...
I'm a really hot guy, I'm always told I am a god in bed."
With crabs |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony.
I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off..... "
My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony.
I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off.....
My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too."
As long as you don’t tell me mum..... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony.
I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off.....
My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too.
As long as you don’t tell me mum..... "
I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony.
I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off.....
My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too.
As long as you don’t tell me mum.....
I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed."
Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony.
I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off.....
My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too.
As long as you don’t tell me mum..... "
Unless your into keeping it in the family?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony.
I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off.....
My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too.
As long as you don’t tell me mum.....
I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed.
Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push... "
And that's just the size of the cock he'd suck as he is straight. |
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"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony.
I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off.....
My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too.
As long as you don’t tell me mum.....
I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed.
Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push...
And that's just the size of the cock he'd suck as he is straight. "
He promises to close his eyes cos if he doesn't see it he won't catch the gay |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony.
I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off.....
My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too.
As long as you don’t tell me mum.....
I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed.
Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push...
And that's just the size of the cock he'd suck as he is straight. "
He’ll need a moment to take his teeth out before he does though... again, don’t let that put you off... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony.
I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off.....
My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too.
As long as you don’t tell me mum.....
I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed.
Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push...
And that's just the size of the cock he'd suck as he is straight.
He promises to close his eyes cos if he doesn't see it he won't catch the gay"
 |
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"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony.
I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off.....
My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too.
As long as you don’t tell me mum.....
I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed.
Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push...
And that's just the size of the cock he'd suck as he is straight.
He’ll need a moment to take his teeth out before he does though... again, don’t let that put you off... "
They don't fit him anyway as they were his grannie's before |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony.
I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off.....
My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too.
As long as you don’t tell me mum.....
I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed.
Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push...
And that's just the size of the cock he'd suck as he is straight.
He promises to close his eyes cos if he doesn't see it he won't catch the gay
"
Is anyone on here prepared to meet for a shag now or are you all timewasters? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony.
I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off.....
My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too.
As long as you don’t tell me mum.....
I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed.
Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push...
And that's just the size of the cock he'd suck as he is straight.
He’ll need a moment to take his teeth out before he does though... again, don’t let that put you off...
They don't fit him anyway as they were his grannie's before "
We like to keep stuff in the family as you can tell. Anyway l, I digress.... Anyone free for a fuck right now? I can’t accommodate. Behind Tesco’s alright?? |
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"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony.
I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off.....
My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too.
As long as you don’t tell me mum.....
I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed.
Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push...
And that's just the size of the cock he'd suck as he is straight.
He’ll need a moment to take his teeth out before he does though... again, don’t let that put you off...
They don't fit him anyway as they were his grannie's before
We like to keep stuff in the family as you can tell. Anyway l, I digress.... Anyone free for a fuck right now? I can’t accommodate. Behind Tesco’s alright?? "
You aim too high .. Aldi!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony.
I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off.....
My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too.
As long as you don’t tell me mum.....
I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed.
Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push...
And that's just the size of the cock he'd suck as he is straight.
He’ll need a moment to take his teeth out before he does though... again, don’t let that put you off...
They don't fit him anyway as they were his grannie's before
We like to keep stuff in the family as you can tell. Anyway l, I digress.... Anyone free for a fuck right now? I can’t accommodate. Behind Tesco’s alright??
You aim too high .. Aldi!!"
Haha I almost typed Aldi and then a moment of snobbery came over me.. 
Disclaimer- nowt wrong with Aldi, I actually quite like it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
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"Thinking about the worst comments read in profiles and the forum, is it possible to write the worst profile ever?
Intended as light hearted fun, not to offend anyone.
Can we write a profile between us for a person that no one would ever touch with a barge pole?
Use the reply and quote button so it reads as fluently as possible.
Add your own line or two.
I'll start...
I'm a really hot guy, I'm always told I am a god in bed."
I've already done it without knowing  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony.
I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off.....
My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too.
As long as you don’t tell me mum.....
I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed.
Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push...
And that's just the size of the cock he'd suck as he is straight.
He’ll need a moment to take his teeth out before he does though... again, don’t let that put you off...
They don't fit him anyway as they were his grannie's before
We like to keep stuff in the family as you can tell. Anyway l, I digress.... Anyone free for a fuck right now? I can’t accommodate. Behind Tesco’s alright??
You aim too high .. Aldi!!
Haha I almost typed Aldi and then a moment of snobbery came over me..
Disclaimer- nowt wrong with Aldi, I actually quite like it. "
But that lidl is a shithole |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony.
I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off.....
My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too.
As long as you don’t tell me mum.....
I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed.
Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push...
And that's just the size of the cock he'd suck as he is straight.
He’ll need a moment to take his teeth out before he does though... again, don’t let that put you off...
They don't fit him anyway as they were his grannie's before
We like to keep stuff in the family as you can tell. Anyway l, I digress.... Anyone free for a fuck right now? I can’t accommodate. Behind Tesco’s alright??
You aim too high .. Aldi!!
Haha I almost typed Aldi and then a moment of snobbery came over me..
Disclaimer- nowt wrong with Aldi, I actually quite like it.
But that lidl is a shithole "
I genuinely don’t understand Lidl. I get confused. I feel like I’m in a Spanish supermarket. 
(Anyway we digress from the thread ..... ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony.
I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off.....
My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too.
As long as you don’t tell me mum.....
I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed.
Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push...
And that's just the size of the cock he'd suck as he is straight.
He’ll need a moment to take his teeth out before he does though... again, don’t let that put you off...
They don't fit him anyway as they were his grannie's before
We like to keep stuff in the family as you can tell. Anyway l, I digress.... Anyone free for a fuck right now? I can’t accommodate. Behind Tesco’s alright??
You aim too high .. Aldi!!
Haha I almost typed Aldi and then a moment of snobbery came over me..
Disclaimer- nowt wrong with Aldi, I actually quite like it.
But that lidl is a shithole
I genuinely don’t understand Lidl. I get confused. I feel like I’m in a Spanish supermarket.
(Anyway we digress from the thread .....)"
God we are the same person |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Don’t forget to add a load of meaningless bollocks threatening Sydney University with unenforceable legal action. "
And a statement to the effect “I’ve been here before and I know how it works...”
Good... that’s good to know.  |
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"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony.
I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off.....
My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too.
As long as you don’t tell me mum.....
I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed.
Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push...
And that's just the size of the cock he'd suck as he is straight.
He’ll need a moment to take his teeth out before he does though... again, don’t let that put you off...
They don't fit him anyway as they were his grannie's before
We like to keep stuff in the family as you can tell. Anyway l, I digress.... Anyone free for a fuck right now? I can’t accommodate. Behind Tesco’s alright??
You aim too high .. Aldi!!
Haha I almost typed Aldi and then a moment of snobbery came over me..
Disclaimer- nowt wrong with Aldi, I actually quite like it.
But that lidl is a shithole
I genuinely don’t understand Lidl. I get confused. I feel like I’m in a Spanish supermarket.
(Anyway we digress from the thread .....)
God we are the same person "
Has anyone actually seen Nora and LJ in the same room?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony.
I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off.....
My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too.
As long as you don’t tell me mum.....
I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed.
Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push...
And that's just the size of the cock he'd suck as he is straight.
He’ll need a moment to take his teeth out before he does though... again, don’t let that put you off...
They don't fit him anyway as they were his grannie's before
We like to keep stuff in the family as you can tell. Anyway l, I digress.... Anyone free for a fuck right now? I can’t accommodate. Behind Tesco’s alright??
You aim too high .. Aldi!!
Haha I almost typed Aldi and then a moment of snobbery came over me..
Disclaimer- nowt wrong with Aldi, I actually quite like it.
But that lidl is a shithole
I genuinely don’t understand Lidl. I get confused. I feel like I’m in a Spanish supermarket.
(Anyway we digress from the thread .....)
God we are the same person "
Thank god you understand! What even is going on in that shop?! |
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"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony.
I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off.....
My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too.
As long as you don’t tell me mum.....
I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed.
Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push...
And that's just the size of the cock he'd suck as he is straight.
He’ll need a moment to take his teeth out before he does though... again, don’t let that put you off...
They don't fit him anyway as they were his grannie's before
We like to keep stuff in the family as you can tell. Anyway l, I digress.... Anyone free for a fuck right now? I can’t accommodate. Behind Tesco’s alright??
You aim too high .. Aldi!!
Haha I almost typed Aldi and then a moment of snobbery came over me..
Disclaimer- nowt wrong with Aldi, I actually quite like it.
But that lidl is a shithole
I genuinely don’t understand Lidl. I get confused. I feel like I’m in a Spanish supermarket.
(Anyway we digress from the thread .....)
God we are the same person
Thank god you understand! What even is going on in that shop?! "
The product names in IKEA make more sense
I'll have 2 fnurls and a schmer please
Now I'm digressing... sorry OP |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony.
I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off.....
My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too.
As long as you don’t tell me mum.....
I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed.
Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push...
And that's just the size of the cock he'd suck as he is straight.
He’ll need a moment to take his teeth out before he does though... again, don’t let that put you off...
They don't fit him anyway as they were his grannie's before
We like to keep stuff in the family as you can tell. Anyway l, I digress.... Anyone free for a fuck right now? I can’t accommodate. Behind Tesco’s alright??
"
Sydney University can kiss my arse.
I've been here before and know how it works. |
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|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony.
I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off.....
My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too.
As long as you don’t tell me mum.....
I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed.
Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push...
And that's just the size of the cock he'd suck as he is straight.
He’ll need a moment to take his teeth out before he does though... again, don’t let that put you off...
They don't fit him anyway as they were his grannie's before
We like to keep stuff in the family as you can tell. Anyway l, I digress.... Anyone free for a fuck right now? I can’t accommodate. Behind Tesco’s alright??
Sydney University can kiss my arse.
I've been here before and know how it works. "
No black, Asian, fat, thin, cockney's, scouser,s couples that wont let me give the missus anal, no beards or people that don't do bareback. |
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|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony.
I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off.....
My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too.
As long as you don’t tell me mum.....
I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed.
Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push...
And that's just the size of the cock he'd suck as he is straight.
He’ll need a moment to take his teeth out before he does though... again, don’t let that put you off...
They don't fit him anyway as they were his grannie's before
We like to keep stuff in the family as you can tell. Anyway l, I digress.... Anyone free for a fuck right now? I can’t accommodate. Behind Tesco’s alright??
You aim too high .. Aldi!!
Haha I almost typed Aldi and then a moment of snobbery came over me..
Disclaimer- nowt wrong with Aldi, I actually quite like it.
But that lidl is a shithole
I genuinely don’t understand Lidl. I get confused. I feel like I’m in a Spanish supermarket.
(Anyway we digress from the thread .....)
God we are the same person
Thank god you understand! What even is going on in that shop?!
The product names in IKEA make more sense
I'll have 2 fnurls and a schmer please
Now I'm digressing... sorry OP"
|
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|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony.
I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off.....
My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too.
As long as you don’t tell me mum.....
I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed.
Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push...
And that's just the size of the cock he'd suck as he is straight.
He’ll need a moment to take his teeth out before he does though... again, don’t let that put you off...
They don't fit him anyway as they were his grannie's before
We like to keep stuff in the family as you can tell. Anyway l, I digress.... Anyone free for a fuck right now? I can’t accommodate. Behind Tesco’s alright??
Sydney University can kiss my arse.
I've been here before and know how it works.
No black, Asian, fat, thin, cockney's, scouser,s couples that wont let me give the missus anal, no beards or people that don't do bareback."
Ladies, can you all stop messaging me, when I want one I'll find you.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can lick you until you are numb. Hours of monotony.
I still live at home with my parents but don’t let that put you off.....
My Dad said he'd be up for a shag too.
As long as you don’t tell me mum.....
I only shag 10's. No mingers are allowed.
Me dad will lower his standards to a 7.5. 7.3 at a push...
And that's just the size of the cock he'd suck as he is straight.
He’ll need a moment to take his teeth out before he does though... again, don’t let that put you off...
They don't fit him anyway as they were his grannie's before
We like to keep stuff in the family as you can tell. Anyway l, I digress.... Anyone free for a fuck right now? I can’t accommodate. Behind Tesco’s alright??
Sydney University can kiss my arse.
I've been here before and know how it works.
No black, Asian, fat, thin, cockney's, scouser,s couples that wont let me give the missus anal, no beards or people that don't do bareback."
I don't respond to winks, I get messaged a lot so might not see your message, however I want you to totally blow my mind with your message, preferably 350 characters or more in Iambic Dimeter. Points for use of alliteration. Use the word snuggle so I know you read this. |
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Love the ones who complain about guys having cock pictures or stating please don’t send any only to ask for one to be sent after a few messages and then not believe it when I reply I have absolutely none on here ! |
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