FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Do you have a safety person?
Do you have a safety person?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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If you tell someone who you are meeting/ where you are going... For safety...
Do you tell the person you are meeting that someone knows the details of your meet?
Has anyone ever had an issue with this? |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"If you tell someone who you are meeting/ where you are going... For safety...
Do you tell the person you are meeting that someone knows the details of your meet?
Has anyone ever had an issue with this?"
If I met outside clubs, yes, I would.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes.
Yes.
Yes. I cancelled the meet.
What did they have an issue with?
I didn't trust them enough to meet without telling someone.
To me that's a sign of someone who isn't trustworthy. "
That’s interesting, I have a safety person, but I don’t tell the other person, but I might after reading this ^
Thanks |
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Never felt the need for one as a guy, but have recommended to a number of women that they should at least consider it. Haven’t any problem whatsoever with this, and have had meets where phone calls and texts have been exchanged with safety buddies. |
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"Yes.
Yes.
Yes. I cancelled the meet.
What did they have an issue with?
I didn't trust them enough to meet without telling someone.
To me that's a sign of someone who isn't trustworthy.
That’s interesting, I have a safety person, but I don’t tell the other person, but I might after reading this ^
Thanks "
I occasionally find it telling how people react to me looking after myself. |
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My best friends, always know where I'm going, who I'm meeting.
We have a 'policy' we follow
I always tell the person I'm meeting. I check in with my friends on arrival, post on our chat group, when leaving & again when I'm home.
They follow me on a tracker.
I've only had 1 person, who was a bit off about it.
Said he felt a bit upset I didn't trust him, my friends 'stalking' us!
I pointed out, I was a woman alone, 40 miles from home, in a pub with technically a complete stranger.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes, I always tell my mum and she comes with me to meet the lady first.
If they have a problem with that then I cancel. My safety is paramount
You're doing the right thing."
This  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes, I always tell my mum and she comes with me to meet the lady first.
If they have a problem with that then I cancel. My safety is paramount"
What if I wanna meet your mum? Do I have to meet you too? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No, and never really thought about this from a womans point of view i can see why this is a good idea. Also wouldnt put me off meeting if the other person told me they had to check in with someone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Both of my adult kids know my passwords. If anything happened then it would be clear who I was meeting and when. My motto is always a social meet in a public place first. Only ever had one rough meet and I made an excuse and left. Better safe than dismembered! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes.
Yes.
Yes. I cancelled the meet.
What did they have an issue with?
I didn't trust them enough to meet without telling someone.
To me that's a sign of someone who isn't trustworthy.
That’s interesting, I have a safety person, but I don’t tell the other person, but I might after reading this ^
Thanks
I occasionally find it telling how people react to me looking after myself. "
The other advice someone gave me at one point was to say no to a potential meet, about anything. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes I have someone who knows where I’m going, but I don’t always tell the person I’m meeting that someone knows where I am. I also don’t usually meet people without getting to know them a bit anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I suppose it's slightly different for us being a couple.
If I meet alone, it's only with another lady and always in public, and then Tom knows who, when and where. He's been known to ring to check I'm ok on a couple of occasions seeing as we have been catfished in the past.
x Niki |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes always tell a friend.
Even being a fairly large male of the species.
Look up women serial killer from the north of England. She lured several men to meet then kill them  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes.
Yes.
Yes. I cancelled the meet.
What did they have an issue with?
I didn't trust them enough to meet without telling someone.
To me that's a sign of someone who isn't trustworthy.
That’s interesting, I have a safety person, but I don’t tell the other person, but I might after reading this ^
Thanks "
I was wondering why not to tell them. If they know their details are held by someone it may make the axe murderer types decide to meet someone else. Maybe. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes.
Yes.
Yes. I cancelled the meet.
What did they have an issue with?
I didn't trust them enough to meet without telling someone.
To me that's a sign of someone who isn't trustworthy.
That’s interesting, I have a safety person, but I don’t tell the other person, but I might after reading this ^
Thanks
I occasionally find it telling how people react to me looking after myself.
The other advice someone gave me at one point was to say no to a potential meet, about anything. "
And see how they react..... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes always tell a friend.
Even being a fairly large male of the species.
Look up women serial killer from the north of England. She lured several men to meet then kill them "
Men have been lured to places by 'women' but then been robbed/ attacked. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes.
Yes.
Yes. I cancelled the meet.
What did they have an issue with?
I didn't trust them enough to meet without telling someone.
To me that's a sign of someone who isn't trustworthy.
That’s interesting, I have a safety person, but I don’t tell the other person, but I might after reading this ^
Thanks
I occasionally find it telling how people react to me looking after myself.
The other advice someone gave me at one point was to say no to a potential meet, about anything.
And see how they react....."
Yes, it was a very useful piece of advice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes.
Yes.
Yes. I cancelled the meet.
What did they have an issue with?
I didn't trust them enough to meet without telling someone.
To me that's a sign of someone who isn't trustworthy.
That’s interesting, I have a safety person, but I don’t tell the other person, but I might after reading this ^
Thanks
I occasionally find it telling how people react to me looking after myself.
The other advice someone gave me at one point was to say no to a potential meet, about anything. "
I do that.. ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't see why telling someone you know should be a big problem afterall even someone you have spoken too who seems genuine enough can turn out to be a wrongen. Unfortunately for myself I dont think my friends would understand why I am on here but hey ho we are all human i just enjoy sex more  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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yep safety is paramount too many nut jobs on here and out there not too im lucky in a sense that its my hubs hes also my taxi .... if something is not right i walk away .... i had a female stalker years ago that was scary and a guy a couples years back with the police involved hence i change my profile often by deleting and starting afresh..... i would hate to be a single woman swinging in-fact id not do it my hubs is my safety net |
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"Don't see why telling someone you know should be a big problem afterall even someone you have spoken too who seems genuine enough can turn out to be a wrongen. Unfortunately for myself I dont think my friends would understand why I am on here but hey ho we are all human i just enjoy sex more "
Perhaps you can find a friend on fab, perhaps another woman, who can act as your safety check-in and vice versa.
I'd have no problems with meeting someone who has to check in with a friend. I'd rather play with someone who feels safe and therefore happy and relaxed. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If I thought I would be or was in danger I would go the other way and tell them there is someone that knows where I am and who I'm meeting. Even though there wouldn't be. "
Good plan, they don't know if you've told anyone or not. |
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By *antrelWoman
over a year ago
Birmingham/Cardiff |
Yes I always tell a friend, if I don’t check in with her in the morning she’ll message me and if I don’t reply she’ll call me! I always tell the guy too and so far it hasn’t been a problem. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Yes someone knows where I am going and who I am meeting and the person I am meeting is aware of that.
I also offer to give the person I am meeting personal details about me (surname, car reg and phone number etc) as a reassurance and tell them to feel free to share with a trusted and discreet third party if they want to |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes I always tell a friend, if I don’t check in with her in the morning she’ll message me and if I don’t reply she’ll call me! I always tell the guy too and so far it hasn’t been a problem."
Another tip from someone on here- have a set pre agreed phrase that you reply with. Something odd like "having a crap time, he smells of cheese!" Then she will know you are ok.
If there's an issue and a nutter forces you to text back a "I'm having a lovely time, don't wait up" type message, she will know something is wrong and get help. |
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By *manaWoman
over a year ago
Basingstoke |
"Yes I always tell a friend, if I don’t check in with her in the morning she’ll message me and if I don’t reply she’ll call me! I always tell the guy too and so far it hasn’t been a problem.
Another tip from someone on here- have a set pre agreed phrase that you reply with. Something odd like "having a crap time, he smells of cheese!" Then she will know you are ok.
If there's an issue and a nutter forces you to text back a "I'm having a lovely time, don't wait up" type message, she will know something is wrong and get help. "
Very good idea |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes someone knows where I am going and who I am meeting and the person I am meeting is aware of that.
I also offer to give the person I am meeting personal details about me (surname, car reg and phone number etc) as a reassurance and tell them to feel free to share with a trusted and discreet third party if they want to"
Wow, that definitely gives peace of mind... Does it work for you? Have you ever had anyone go funny on you with all that info?
x N |
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My ex FWB did this,
Safety person knew who and where she'd meet
Check in when she'd arrive
Check in when she'd leave
And funnily enough always meet her afterwards after we meet for a juicy catch-up.
Safety's paramount, good on her for having such arrangement and having people look out for her.
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Yes someone knows where I am going and who I am meeting and the person I am meeting is aware of that.
I also offer to give the person I am meeting personal details about me (surname, car reg and phone number etc) as a reassurance and tell them to feel free to share with a trusted and discreet third party if they want to
Wow, that definitely gives peace of mind... Does it work for you? Have you ever had anyone go funny on you with all that info?
x N"
Not at all, but then as I said I "offer" it but most don't accept - but then by the time I suggest meeting someone we usually know each other well enough to have built a level of trust anyway |
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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
I always ensure I've spoken to everyone involved before I agree to a meet. I ask all the relevant questions, check veris, before I make up my own mind.
A full address, plus postcode, even the details of any car they might have parked outside their home, are sought and recorded in my Phone and my Diary, the latter left at home as a precaution.
I've only had one meet, though not through this site, which could've turned out seriously nasty!
I'd to rely on my verbal communication and conflict resolution skills to get out of that unscathed. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I always ensure I've spoken to everyone involved before I agree to a meet. I ask all the relevant questions, check veris, before I make up my own mind.
A full address, plus postcode, even the details of any car they might have parked outside their home, are sought and recorded in my Phone and my Diary, the latter left at home as a precaution.
I've only had one meet, though not through this site, which could've turned out seriously nasty!
I'd to rely on my verbal communication and conflict resolution skills to get out of that unscathed."
Yikes! Glad you got out ok. X |
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By *latinumkittenWoman
over a year ago
from Home Counties to Middle Earth |
Yes I do. We look out for each other. Who we're meeting, where, when, geolocate sometimes.
I sometimes tell who I'm meeting.
Everything is very dependent on the who and where.
I don't do last minute meets, or meet many new people these days, so my safety buddy is low on duties. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thanks for this post Mavis.
Safety is paramount for all people.
If you ever want horror stories, I got them on both sides, through every scenario.
As always, I am here and will do everything I can to be a safety person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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no i never feel unsafe and imagine not many guys would but a woman should always do a social meet in a public place or like you say tell someone you trust you'll ring them to let them know youre ok, i have some stories on the things that can go wrong if you dont  |
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O have a safety person. My ex husband, i say to him when i used to meet and where and if i hadnt checked in with him with my safeword by a certain time he was to go to my house and look on my desk where the personal details of the person i was meeting was left. That way if i come home safe i can shred the personal details and noone needs to know who he was. |
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I used to, but it can backfire. I had a lovely social meet with a guy at his place once. No phone signal, so if I'd been due to check in with anyone, I wouldn't have been able to. Years ago, I was doing safety call duty for my ex. It had got a bit weird, with the original address not being where she ended up, so later on, I sent her a couple of questions only she would know the answers to, just in case she was in trouble and someone else was pretending she was okay. She didn't reply as expected.
It all turned out fine in the end, but I came very close to calling the police.
The way I tend to do it these days is to text my other phone, and leave it at home. If I wind up dead in a ditch, the phone is there with my last known location and details of who I was supposed to be meeting on it. And I'd be able to show those messages to someone if things started turning weird. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes I do. Would never meet without him knowing where I was going and who I was meeting. I also take a photo of there car and send it to him"
oooooo how do you get to take pic of car without guy knowing? |
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"Don't see why telling someone you know should be a big problem afterall even someone you have spoken too who seems genuine enough can turn out to be a wrongen. Unfortunately for myself I dont think my friends would understand why I am on here but hey ho we are all human i just enjoy sex more "
Well I'm more than happy to offer my services as a safety buddy if you would like one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My friend and I have a mobile tracking app so we can always see where each other (well, our phones) are as well as telling her and showing her the profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't see why telling someone you know should be a big problem afterall even someone you have spoken too who seems genuine enough can turn out to be a wrongen. Unfortunately for myself I dont think my friends would understand why I am on here but hey ho we are all human i just enjoy sex more
Well I'm more than happy to offer my services as a safety buddy if you would like one."
I could do with one just to be on the safe side |
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"Don't see why telling someone you know should be a big problem afterall even someone you have spoken too who seems genuine enough can turn out to be a wrongen. Unfortunately for myself I dont think my friends would understand why I am on here but hey ho we are all human i just enjoy sex more
Well I'm more than happy to offer my services as a safety buddy if you would like one.
I could do with one just to be on the safe side "
Well feel free to message me whenever, I also know a few other ladies in the area, that I'm sure wouldn't mind helping make a fellow fabber feel safer.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think especially as a female to meet a stranger without having someone you trust enough with the details would be foolish and anyone you met would expect you to check in and not be fazed by it if they even notice. Having had a violent stalker myself(not from fab) i would never risk it. |
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"Yes I do. Would never meet without him knowing where I was going and who I was meeting. I also take a photo of there car and send it to himoooooo how do you get to take pic of car without guy knowing? "
They would know. If not happy no meet |
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