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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Do you have friends? Asking the blokes more specifically here but all are welcome.
I saw a video recently that got me thinking. A recent study has found that 1 in 5 men considers that they have no close friends and 32% say they have no one that they would consider a best friend
I don't have any friends. Not close, male friends. I don't have a male best friend.
Pink is my partner, my best friend and the person I want to spend all my time with but I don't have anyone that I can call up after work and invite out to talk crap and unwind. I have colleagues and people I know from work but other than that, the people I called friends in the past I haven't spoken to, outside of Faceache, for years.
There are folk on Fab that I've met through the lounge socials that I'd have no trouble spending time laughing and joking with but they are scattered all over the country.
Do you fit in to those stats or do you have your group of mates to fall back on if things get tough or you need a reality check to keep you grounded?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a small number. We don’t see each other often, but when we do it’s like we were with each other only last week. I am crap at keeping in contact and with one exception they are too. |
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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago
Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe |
I can relate to this. I did have two close male friends, but sadly they are no longer with us. Due to being on the edge of the music industry, I know lots of people, but I socialise with no more than four or five of them, but wouldn't refer to them as "best friends".
My two best friends are both women. Totally platonic, and I love them both to bits. I am at my happiest when I see them. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks all. I found the video interesting as I didn’t realise it was quite so widespread and thought I’d see what the views of the Forum were.
I’m not really planning to do anything about it and the fact that I am raising the question with strangers on the web reinforces that I don’t really have many people to discuss things with. |
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"I have a small number. We don’t see each other often, but when we do it’s like we were with each other only last week. I am crap at keeping in contact and with one exception they are too."
100 % exactly the same here . I could have copied and pasted your post as it's exactly the same for me  |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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I don't have a lot of close friends. I have a fuck ton of what I call hi, bye friends. You know the sort where you exchange pleasantries when you see each other and say hi and it's all perfectly nice but there's nothing of any real depth there? And then you say bye with promises to organise/do something at a later date that never quite materialises.  The amount of people I've truly opened up with from this site is actually quite small considering how many I talk to.
I don't talk to all my close friends daily. It can be days, sometimes weeks between us interacting but I know I could turn to them and discuss things and they would with me. And it's an easy, mainly positive friendship. I love them for who they are. Sometimes they make me eye roll but I still adore them. |
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By *modDMan
over a year ago
Lichfield |
I have lots of (real life) friends that I see regulary but only one or 2 I'd call close. I've never had a best friend, even as a kid.
What I don't have any more, and what I miss, is a pub that I could walk to on my own at any given time and there'd be somebody I knew in there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a close circle of girlie friends and they are there if I need them. But I haven't made any girl friends on here, just a few male friends. Nobody lives close by me friend wise on here so it's difficult.
It's harder as you get older to connect with people. |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Travelling |
I no longer have any close friends. I have people I sometimes enjoy the company of but rarely see. Those that I did have moved away and contact dropped, or I was treated like shit and as an after thought, so I cut contact with them. Have tried to gain new friends but was ditched by those too in the end. Does make you wonder if the issue really is you.
I have friends all over the world, but again rarely see them, if ever, and not close enough to call best friends.
I am comfortable with it now, but I am less willing to open up to new friends in such a way that would allow them to be considered close. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not until fairly recently when I got friendly with a couple I met in a theatre. I chat to the woman online quite frequently and we do meet up when we can.
Unfortunately we don't live nearby but try to meet a couple of times a year, usually at a theatre as we like the same shows, but occasionally we will meet for a drink if we are in the viscinity. |
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I have one close girlfriend I see every week for coffee on Sunday morning. Rain or shine we're in Starbucks sharing our week. We've been friends for 23 years now and she's helped me through every crisis during that time, as I've helped her through hers.
The one thing we don't talk about is our sex lives, other than in the most general of terms.
I have a great male friend who is an ex lover but is now completely platonic. He works away a lot but we message and chat by phone. He's my safety person and so knows details that I don't discuss with anyone else.
When he's in the area we will go out for meals or for drinks, but he's one of the very few people who can phone me without warning and know I will answer the call, so we keep in touch more often that way.
Other than that I have a very wide group of acquaintances and ex-colleagues, but not real friends. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am an only child and brought up in a country house miles from anyone. I learned to amuse myself and adapted to a single person existence.
Nowadays I have one good friend who I keep in touch with regularly, usually about clubs and swinging, and maybe another one or two others who I wouldn’t miss if they disappeared tomorrow. I regard myself as independent and able to survive alone for long periods of time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Two besties (one a boy and one a girl) who know absolutely everything about me and I speak to most days - we make the best non-sexual threesome ever when we're out! Plus lots of mates for socialising or to do with work because I have quite a sociable and involved job, but they're not the sort of ppl I share all my junk with.
Fab can be ok for picking up a few mates if you choose wisely. The best chats I've had in here have been with guys or ppl where it's obvious we're not gonna get sexy. When there's attraction or perceived threat it complicates things...
Can't have enough good mates though, if anyone wants to be my new best fab friend....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The only close friend I have lives half a world away. I used to have another, but we've drifted apsrt as she's moved on with her life and I haven't. Beyond that I have a few I meet to play games with, but no one I can just socialise with. I thought I found a group of friends for that, but it fell apart a couple of years ago.
Needless to say, none of them on Fab. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do now, but for a very long time I had no one after loosing touch with old friends.
I met new friends as an adult which isn't the easiest as most people have their set social circles once they reach adulthood.
I'm not the least bit surprised by these stats though |
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By *epsonWoman
over a year ago
Biddulph |
I have fluid friendships that come and go. I can make friends very easily and can be very close for a while. Life and distance sometimes loosens them. I have a couple of close female friendships, but a circle of people I could contact for almost anything I wanted or needed. |
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By *AABMan
over a year ago
Not far |
This is an interesting thread and it seems I’m not the only one with no close friends. I got a number of colleagues that I have a good laugh with with but nobody close that I can open up to. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This is an interesting thread and it seems I’m not the only one with no close friends. I got a number of colleagues that I have a good laugh with with but nobody close that I can open up to."
It's been a bit of a surprise to me really. Maybe I expected I was the only one because I'm quite introverted so I don't let people be close easily. Would seem there are more of us out there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I stopped drinking and got sober I realised I had to drop most of my social circle if I wanted to stay sober. I never really had close friends but there were lots of people I socialised with. These days I know lots of people but other than my partner there are few I socialise with with any real frequency, I suspect most people I know would be surprised to know how isolated I am.
Threads like this are refreshing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just have a small number of very close friends that I speak to and we go out etc and then a group of people I’d call friends but we don’t speak that often and sometimes meet up on big occasions maybe a few times a year |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think if you stsy in touch with your childhood friends and stsy open then you can alwsys always have a good backup group. But if you havd moved away and get in touch after a while, there is a tendency to show off ones relstive success which breeds jeslousy or contempt and you can never get back to the old days. I guess the people om this thread fall into these two groups.
If life has been lucky to ket you grow up with your mates, you are truly blessed. Best therapy ypopu can get, for free. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think if you stsy in touch with your childhood friends and stsy open then you can alwsys always have a good backup group. But if you havd moved away and get in touch after a while, there is a tendency to show off ones relstive success which breeds jeslousy or contempt and you can never get back to the old days. I guess the people om this thread fall into these two groups.
If life has been lucky to ket you grow up with your mates, you are truly blessed. Best therapy ypopu can get, for free."
This assumes you had friends in childhood. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"When I stopped drinking and got sober I realised I had to drop most of my social circle if I wanted to stay sober. I never really had close friends but there were lots of people I socialised with. These days I know lots of people but other than my partner there are few I socialise with with any real frequency, I suspect most people I know would be surprised to know how isolated I am.
Threads like this are refreshing "
Thank you - I do try. Sometimes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have lost a few close friends due to not being well enough to stay connected. My closest friend is currently on here, I just wish I could spend time with her.
My new year resolution is that I'm going to try and spend more time with my friends and make an effort. |
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