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Second chances
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not a chance, I’m never a second option  "
Exactly this.
I had meet arranged in Edinburgh for Saturday evening. The guy messaged in the afternoon to say he was meeting someone else but would let me know if that falls through  
Oh ok I said and wished him luck, but also reminded him that I won't be anyones back up plan so despite my plans falling through I would be unavailable 
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Not a chance, I’m never a second option
Exactly this.
I had meet arranged in Edinburgh for Saturday evening. The guy messaged in the afternoon to say he was meeting someone else but would let me know if that falls through
Oh ok I said and wished him luck, but also reminded him that I won't be anyones back up plan so despite my plans falling through I would be unavailable
"
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By *ady23Woman
over a year ago
Coventry |
"How likely are you to give people a second chance if they don't turn up for a meet and don't mail to cancel it?"
Possibly none. If an apology or explanation comes through then may give benefit of the doubt to them but after 2nd chance it's gone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My (her) interest in that person would diminish quickly and no second chances would be offered. We would have no intention to be rude or nasty, but once the fun bubble bursts for whatever reason the interest is gone. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Depends on their situation could they have been in an accident on the way
Or a family member rushed to hospital
or something like that. The last thing on their mind would be to message to cancel"
There true. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What would you say “cancelling within reasonable time” would be?
I just worry as I’ve been known to have panic attacks at just going down to the corner shop or local chippy before now, which are largely out of my control. |
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"What would you say “cancelling within reasonable time” would be?
I just worry as I’ve been known to have panic attacks at just going down to the corner shop or local chippy before now, which are largely out of my control."
if a guy explained such difficulties before hand then I would understand and try and support him ,give him the chances that he needs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What would you say “cancelling within reasonable time” would be?
I just worry as I’ve been known to have panic attacks at just going down to the corner shop or local chippy before now, which are largely out of my control.if a guy explained such difficulties before hand then I would understand and try and support him ,give him the chances that he needs "
Thank you. That’s actually very lovely of you. People doing things like that help soothe the anxiety away and make it genuinely easier x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What would you say “cancelling within reasonable time” would be?
I just worry as I’ve been known to have panic attacks at just going down to the corner shop or local chippy before now, which are largely out of my control."
I wouldn't mind if he actually text before I left the house or at all |
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"How likely are you to give people a second chance if they don't turn up for a meet and don't mail to cancel it?"
Quite simply, I don't.
I've managed to avoid no shows, but being ghosted is all to common.
I have limited free time, I've had occasions, chat with someone, I'm not free that week or even the next, chat goes on, all OK.
Social arranged, then 2/3 days before, radio silence.
Send a message the night before, nothing, unread even though they've been online.
If I haven't heard from them by the lunch time, then they're blocked.
I've had quite a few, who would reappear a few weeks later, with some lame excuse, or not even acknowledge they've basically ignored me & assume I'll be overjoyed they've decided to re contact me.
So now I just block.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How likely are you to give people a second chance if they don't turn up for a meet and don't mail to cancel it?
Quite simply, I don't.
I've managed to avoid no shows, but being ghosted is all to common.
I have limited free time, I've had occasions, chat with someone, I'm not free that week or even the next, chat goes on, all OK.
Social arranged, then 2/3 days before, radio silence.
Send a message the night before, nothing, unread even though they've been online.
If I haven't heard from them by the lunch time, then they're blocked.
I've had quite a few, who would reappear a few weeks later, with some lame excuse, or not even acknowledge they've basically ignored me & assume I'll be overjoyed they've decided to re contact me.
So now I just block.
"
Probably best. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What would you say “cancelling within reasonable time” would be?
I just worry as I’ve been known to have panic attacks at just going down to the corner shop or local chippy before now, which are largely out of my control.
I wouldn't mind if he actually text before I left the house or at all"
Thank you. That’s reassuring to know people are okay like that x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I probably would give them a second chance. Because if I arrange to meet someone, its because I already feel like I'm really into them and that doesn't come along often.. So yeah I'd try again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If they contact prior then fair enough. I know myself I've been called into work on many occasions at very short notice. B has a job where we hardly know where he will be or for how long, so again work dictates. Is it a pain? Yes. However I don't believe we're the only people with jobs that can be unpredictable so I appreciate others may be in the exact same boat.
Communication.
P |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If they contact prior then fair enough. I know myself I've been called into work on many occasions at very short notice. B has a job where we hardly know where he will be or for how long, so again work dictates. Is it a pain? Yes. However I don't believe we're the only people with jobs that can be unpredictable so I appreciate others may be in the exact same boat.
Communication.
P"
If they don't mail till a few days after though. Would it bother ye? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If they contact prior then fair enough. I know myself I've been called into work on many occasions at very short notice. B has a job where we hardly know where he will be or for how long, so again work dictates. Is it a pain? Yes. However I don't believe we're the only people with jobs that can be unpredictable so I appreciate others may be in the exact same boat.
Communication.
P
If they don't mail till a few days after though. Would it bother ye?"
Days after? I'd quite probably remind them that although I'm a laid back motherfucker who appreciates shit happens, I'm not a mug and I deserve the respect I'd have given them in whatever situation arose and would have let them know, so on that basis we aren't compatible as our priorities, respect levels and morals are cut from different clothage.
P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not a chance, I’m never a second option
Exactly this.
I had meet arranged in Edinburgh for Saturday evening. The guy messaged in the afternoon to say he was meeting someone else but would let me know if that falls through
Oh ok I said and wished him luck, but also reminded him that I won't be anyones back up plan so despite my plans falling through I would be unavailable
"
Good for you! I guess he was honest but what a lizard |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not at all
If they can't let me know,there would be no more chances
I would probably just block.
What a reasonable amount of time to let you know ?"
Would depend on the circumstance and whether you got the gut feeling they're taking the piss, are you already friends etc.
That's my take on it anyway.
P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not at all
If they can't let me know,there would be no more chances
I would probably just block.
What a reasonable amount of time to let you know ?
Would depend on the circumstance and whether you got the gut feeling they're taking the piss, are you already friends etc.
That's my take on it anyway.
P"
But I'd expect to know beforehand. Friends I've already met and stuff I'd forgive and give another chance. Me and one of my mates would often have stuff crop up on the day, finishing late at work etc so we'd message and let each other know we need to take a rain check. It's no biggie if you know that might be a possibility already.
P |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Not at all
If they can't let me know,there would be no more chances
I would probably just block.
What a reasonable amount of time to let you know ?
Would depend on the circumstance and whether you got the gut feeling they're taking the piss, are you already friends etc.
That's my take on it anyway.
P"
That's very true and a mature way of looking at it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How likely are you to give people a second chance if they don't turn up for a meet and don't mail to cancel it?"
No cancellation and no show = no chance.
With cancellation depends on reason but very slim chance. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends how good the communication is. Shit happens If it’s timely and there appears to be a genuine reason then I don’t have a problem. From experience, I now get a sense of when I’m being messed around or if people are saying one thing and then doing another. If either is the case I knock it on the head. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
They don't get a second chance if they just don't turn up. No way once was enough if they can't take a few seconds to send a message and cancel then they are not worth giving a second chance to. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How likely are you to give people a second chance if they don't turn up for a meet and don't mail to cancel it?
No cancellation and no show = no chance.
With cancellation depends on reason but very slim chance."
What excuse would you accept? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How likely are you to give people a second chance if they don't turn up for a meet and don't mail to cancel it?
No cancellation and no show = no chance.
With cancellation depends on reason but very slim chance.
What excuse would you accept?"
Depends how well you know that person I guess |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How likely are you to give people a second chance if they don't turn up for a meet and don't mail to cancel it?
No cancellation and no show = no chance.
With cancellation depends on reason but very slim chance.
What excuse would you accept?
Depends how well you know that person I guess"
True. |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
"Not at all
If they can't let me know,there would be no more chances
I would probably just block.
What a reasonable amount of time to let you know ?"
A couple of hours before ,i know people have lives and things happen so i'd understand
Being stood up not so much |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Not at all
If they can't let me know,there would be no more chances
I would probably just block.
What a reasonable amount of time to let you know ?
A couple of hours before ,i know people have lives and things happen so i'd understand
Being stood up not so much"
Yah if they let you know it's not so bad. |
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"No second chances for a No Show with no message to explain why
It's the not messaging part that would bother me."
I don't mind if a Fabber cancels a meet, no matter how short notice. It's not sending a brief message that's inexcusable. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If I had built up enough trust and connection with them and believed the reason behind it I would definitely, however it doesn’t take long to send a quick polite message explaining. "
True |
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By *m3232Man
over a year ago
maidenhead |
"How likely are you to give people a second chance if they don't turn up for a meet and don't mail to cancel it?"
The first time it’s there fault the second time it’s your fault.
No reply to tell you before hand should be a instant ban imo.
I have the same policy at work no show with no reply they are banned.
It takes 10seconds to send a simple text |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How likely are you to give people a second chance if they don't turn up for a meet and don't mail to cancel it?"
No second chances under those circumstances |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How likely are you to give people a second chance if they don't turn up for a meet and don't mail to cancel it?"
I'd give you a second chance but thats it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I gave a chap 4 chances owing to his job and family issues, on the 4th he played cat and mouse with me so I blocked him!
Time too precious for that! "
awwww poor guy |
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I used to agree with no 2nd chances as the OP posted, but then I did it....
I was set to have a lunch time social, my daughters school called me at around 10:00 and said that she had broken her leg and was on the way to Hospital with a teacher in an ambulance.
Mind went blank - dad mode kicked in and I was gone....
Things do happen in the “real world” outside of fab, sometimes that super hot meet you have planned is the last thing on your mind!
Thankfully the lady in question was very understanding, thus I now give the benefit of the doubt on the first one - miss 2 and nope you’re blocked. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How likely are you to give people a second chance if they don't turn up for a meet and don't mail to cancel it?
The first time it’s there fault the second time it’s your fault.
No reply to tell you before hand should be a instant ban imo.
I have the same policy at work no show with no reply they are banned.
It takes 10seconds to send a simple text"
It's so true. |
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"I gave a chap 4 chances owing to his job and family issues, on the 4th he played cat and mouse with me so I blocked him!
Time too precious for that! "
He would have to be Tom Cruise for me to give anyone a second chance lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Quick note.
If I lost my phone I'd be fucked. I don't have peoples numbers memorized and I don't have a laptop or anything to access fab on. I couldn't afford a new one out of nowhere either so I'd be buggered in getting hold if someone to let them know.
P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How likely are you to give people a second chance if they don't turn up for a meet and don't mail to cancel it?"
Always give a second chance cos some things do pop up that can't be controlled but do it again and I ain't interested any more even if you are banging hot  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I gave a chap 4 chances owing to his job and family issues, on the 4th he played cat and mouse with me so I blocked him!
Time too precious for that!
He would have to be Tom Cruise for me to give anyone a second chance lol "
Tom cruise is to small |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How likely are you to give people a second chance if they don't turn up for a meet and don't mail to cancel it?"
I did once when the guy got in touch 3 weeks later and apologised saying he'd been nervous. I admired the guts it took for him to get back in touch again, and when we did meet we had a really great night. It was a lesson in not letting my ego override the better decision to give someone a second chance xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How likely are you to give people a second chance if they don't turn up for a meet and don't mail to cancel it? 0 no way, done!!!! I never give 2nd chances "
Even with a very good excuse |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i did give a woman a second chance a couple of years back she lived in Nantwich which is a fair trek for me i booked a room, she didn't show and didn't message me until about 11pm she said she was nervous i said I'm a nice guy meet me now we'll have a drink she said no lol so obviously i cut contact with her about 4 months later she apologised and said can we try again i said ok once again i travelled to Nantwich to meet in a pub 2.5 hours after arranged meet time no sign of her lol she did however turn up and realised she had no reason to be nervous we met for a while |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always meet in a club that way if they don’t turn up my night isn’t ruined and if they do even better"
clubs are expensive for guys would never do a first meet in a club |
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