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Costa my arse
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By *uciyass OP Man
over a year ago
sheffield |
So. Bear with me here as I think only Boldy will get this hit hopefully I can explain
So Costa are selling Irish velvet latte and hot chocolate ?
I asked the coffee making person as to which brand of Irish whiskey it contained. To my disappointment they said there is no whiskey
So I asked well then why is it called an Irish velvet as an Irish velvet contains whiskey
They said it’s the velvet creamy top. I said it isn’t and insisted that I was led into Costa under false pretences
They apologised and said I should contact Head office and then asked what would I like
I said I’ll have a cappuccino without the frothy top she looked at me and said you mean an Americano. I said no a cappuccino without the froth
What the fuck has happened to this world. Why can’t coffee just be fecking coffee  |
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By *uciyass OP Man
over a year ago
sheffield |
"It's not the barista's fault head office came up with something stupid.
And these words mean things, as you point out yourself. "
Very true. But shouldn’t the barista know why it’s called a velvet? I was nice about it anyway
I was waiting for them to tell me that they had run out of milk but that’s another story. |
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Here's a idea, but some coffee granules, boil the kettle and pour over said granules, voila 1 cup of coffee.
It's not fucking rocket science people, stupid price for stupidly named fucking coffee. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Surely it's the whisky flavoured syrup that makes it an Irish velvet not just the velvet froth on top?
I do understand your frustration though if it's just a froth and they are calling it an Irish velvet  I don't know who thinks it's a good idea to come up with these things sometimes. |
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By *uciyass OP Man
over a year ago
sheffield |
"oh dear, have you contacted your mp or the United nations !"
lve contacted them EU but they have told me that due to brexit exit negotiations they can’t deal with coffee and Irish back door issues and suggested I drink tea |
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"oh dear, have you contacted your mp or the United nations !
lve contacted them EU but they have told me that due to brexit exit negotiations they can’t deal with coffee and Irish back door issues and suggested I drink tea"
I'd happily negotiate your Irish back door issues |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"oh dear, have you contacted your mp or the United nations !
lve contacted them EU but they have told me that due to brexit exit negotiations they can’t deal with coffee and Irish back door issues and suggested I drink tea
I'd happily negotiate your Irish back door issues "
It had to be said...  |
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By *uciyass OP Man
over a year ago
sheffield |
"oh dear, have you contacted your mp or the United nations !
lve contacted them EU but they have told me that due to brexit exit negotiations they can’t deal with coffee and Irish back door issues and suggested I drink tea
I'd happily negotiate your Irish back door issues "
Call me immediately |
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Don't get me started on the nonsense that's the Costa menu!
I love a skinny iced latte but will they serve me a large one, like they used to?....no.
Despite the fact they're happy to serve a large *hot* skinny latte.
Naturally I asked why and was told 'company policy'  ... pressing further the best they could come up with was that due to the whole sugar tax thing they don't want to be seen to be promoting 'unhealthy' drinks in larger sizes. Hence you can no longer buy large frapuccinos which admittedly are sugar laden.
However they seem completely unable to grasp that the calorific content of a large skinny latte is exactly the same whether it's hot or cold. And that it has a lot less calories and is therefore arguably healthier than even the smallest frappucino.
So they can take their faux concern for my health, their utterly illogical approach which loses them sales and, in this instance, their ridiculously poor customer service and shove it up their arse!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The thing thats annoying me about Costa is the fact the last 2 times I've used one of their machines, it hasn't given me a barcode to scan points onto my reward card |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So. Bear with me here as I think only Boldy will get this hit hopefully I can explain
So Costa are selling Irish velvet latte and hot chocolate ?
I asked the coffee making person as to which brand of Irish whiskey it contained. To my disappointment they said there is no whiskey
So I asked well then why is it called an Irish velvet as an Irish velvet contains whiskey
They said it’s the velvet creamy top. I said it isn’t and insisted that I was led into Costa under false pretences
They apologised and said I should contact Head office and then asked what would I like
I said I’ll have a cappuccino without the frothy top she looked at me and said you mean an Americano. I said no a cappuccino without the froth
What the fuck has happened to this world. Why can’t coffee just be fecking coffee "
I've had one and I found it also had the slight hint of an Irish cream (Baileys) |
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"oh dear, have you contacted your mp or the United nations !
lve contacted them EU but they have told me that due to brexit exit negotiations they can’t deal with coffee and Irish back door issues and suggested I drink tea
I'd happily negotiate your Irish back door issues
Call me immediately "
I would if I wasn't going out. I'll have to supply the froth another time  |
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By *uciyass OP Man
over a year ago
sheffield |
"The thing thats annoying me about Costa is the fact the last 2 times I've used one of their machines, it hasn't given me a barcode to scan points onto my reward card"
And have you tried switching a large whatever and placing a medium cup under. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The thing thats annoying me about Costa is the fact the last 2 times I've used one of their machines, it hasn't given me a barcode to scan points onto my reward card
And have you tried switching a large whatever and placing a medium cup under. "
No, what difference would that make |
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By *m3232Man
over a year ago
maidenhead |
"So. Bear with me here as I think only Boldy will get this hit hopefully I can explain
So Costa are selling Irish velvet latte and hot chocolate ?
I asked the coffee making person as to which brand of Irish whiskey it contained. To my disappointment they said there is no whiskey
So I asked well then why is it called an Irish velvet as an Irish velvet contains whiskey
They said it’s the velvet creamy top. I said it isn’t and insisted that I was led into Costa under false pretences
They apologised and said I should contact Head office and then asked what would I like
I said I’ll have a cappuccino without the frothy top she looked at me and said you mean an Americano. I said no a cappuccino without the froth
What the fuck has happened to this world. Why can’t coffee just be fecking coffee "
That’s called a flat white lol |
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"Carry a hip flask, add your own   "
yep totally agree, maybe we are the only Feckers who do this,,
I'll also add this
Order a Bon Bon next time it's what you require, if they ask you what that is either walk out or ask for the head Barista,
2nd wtf are you doing in Costa if you love Coffee, ???
It's Muck
With or without our golden magic syrup,, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's not the barista's fault head office came up with something stupid.
And these words mean things, as you point out yourself.
Very true. But shouldn’t the barista know why it’s called a velvet? I was nice about it anyway
I was waiting for them to tell me that they had run out of milk but that’s another story. "
Thats not a barista. That's just someone working customer service. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Don't get me started on the nonsense that's the Costa menu!
I love a skinny iced latte but will they serve me a large one, like they used to?....no.
Despite the fact they're happy to serve a large *hot* skinny latte.
Naturally I asked why and was told 'company policy' ... pressing further the best they could come up with was that due to the whole sugar tax thing they don't want to be seen to be promoting 'unhealthy' drinks in larger sizes. Hence you can no longer buy large frapuccinos which admittedly are sugar laden.
However they seem completely unable to grasp that the calorific content of a large skinny latte is exactly the same whether it's hot or cold. And that it has a lot less calories and is therefore arguably healthier than even the smallest frappucino.
So they can take their faux concern for my health, their utterly illogical approach which loses them sales and, in this instance, their ridiculously poor customer service and shove it up their arse! "
You're cross arent you?
I can sense it |
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"Carry a hip flask, add your own yep totally agree, maybe we are the only Feckers who do this,,
I'll also add this
Order a Bon Bon next time it's what you require, if they ask you what that is either walk out or ask for the head Barista,
2nd wtf are you doing in Costa if you love Coffee, ???
It's Muck
With or without our golden magic syrup,, "
Just curious if you can articulate why a large Costa cappuccino no syrup is muck ?
Sounding a bit pretentious? |
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By *uciyass OP Man
over a year ago
sheffield |
"Bet it makes their day having a customer like you pop in 
Yes but right is right "
Right is always right. I don’t go into Greggs and order a sausage free sausage roll and I only pay for the pastry. If it’s advertised that’s what I should get. Had same problem with local physio recently. Charged me £30 for full body massage and head included. When I didn’t get the blow job I complained |
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"Bet it makes their day having a customer like you pop in
Yes but right is right
Right is always right. I don’t go into Greggs and order a sausage free sausage roll and I only pay for the pastry. If it’s advertised that’s what I should get. Had same problem with local physio recently. Charged me £30 for full body massage and head included. When I didn’t get the blow job I complained "
Being a tad flippant
Is your ass juicy ? To my knowledge most anus do not produce much natural lubrication. Does your ass run with juice or are you false advertising  |
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By *uciyass OP Man
over a year ago
sheffield |
"Bet it makes their day having a customer like you pop in
Yes but right is right
Right is always right. I don’t go into Greggs and order a sausage free sausage roll and I only pay for the pastry. If it’s advertised that’s what I should get. Had same problem with local physio recently. Charged me £30 for full body massage and head included. When I didn’t get the blow job I complained
Being a tad flippant
Is your ass juicy ? To my knowledge most anus do not produce much natural lubrication. Does your ass run with juice or are you false advertising "
My ass is indeed juciy. It self lubricates and also can I play flight of the bumble bee but I don’t advertise that I keep that a secret |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Bet it makes their day having a customer like you pop in
Yes but right is right
Right is always right. I don’t go into Greggs and order a sausage free sausage roll and I only pay for the pastry. If it’s advertised that’s what I should get. Had same problem with local physio recently. Charged me £30 for full body massage and head included. When I didn’t get the blow job I complained
Being a tad flippant
Is your ass juicy ? To my knowledge most anus do not produce much natural lubrication. Does your ass run with juice or are you false advertising
My ass is indeed juciy. It self lubricates and also can I play flight of the bumble bee but I don’t advertise that I keep that a secret "
Otherwise you'd have to charge more, right? |
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By *uciyass OP Man
over a year ago
sheffield |
"Bet it makes their day having a customer like you pop in
Yes but right is right
Right is always right. I don’t go into Greggs and order a sausage free sausage roll and I only pay for the pastry. If it’s advertised that’s what I should get. Had same problem with local physio recently. Charged me £30 for full body massage and head included. When I didn’t get the blow job I complained
Being a tad flippant
Is your ass juicy ? To my knowledge most anus do not produce much natural lubrication. Does your ass run with juice or are you false advertising
My ass is indeed juciy. It self lubricates and also can I play flight of the bumble bee but I don’t advertise that I keep that a secret
Otherwise you'd have to charge more, right?"
The charges are negotiable depending on the tune |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
Can I mention Starbucks. We always have short beverages. Few weeks ago they weren't advertised on the board and I asked if they didn't do them anymore and he said yes, but we don't advertise them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So. Bear with me here as I think only Boldy will get this hit hopefully I can explain
So Costa are selling Irish velvet latte and hot chocolate ?
I asked the coffee making person as to which brand of Irish whiskey it contained. To my disappointment they said there is no whiskey
So I asked well then why is it called an Irish velvet as an Irish velvet contains whiskey
They said it’s the velvet creamy top. I said it isn’t and insisted that I was led into Costa under false pretences
They apologised and said I should contact Head office and then asked what would I like
I said I’ll have a cappuccino without the frothy top she looked at me and said you mean an Americano. I said no a cappuccino without the froth
What the fuck has happened to this world. Why can’t coffee just be fecking coffee "
So the member of staff was made to apologise for the company they work for. They were also subjected to your sarcasm.
Well done it must of made you feel better. |
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By *uciyass OP Man
over a year ago
sheffield |
"So. Bear with me here as I think only Boldy will get this hit hopefully I can explain
So Costa are selling Irish velvet latte and hot chocolate ?
I asked the coffee making person as to which brand of Irish whiskey it contained. To my disappointment they said there is no whiskey
So I asked well then why is it called an Irish velvet as an Irish velvet contains whiskey
They said it’s the velvet creamy top. I said it isn’t and insisted that I was led into Costa under false pretences
They apologised and said I should contact Head office and then asked what would I like
I said I’ll have a cappuccino without the frothy top she looked at me and said you mean an Americano. I said no a cappuccino without the froth
What the fuck has happened to this world. Why can’t coffee just be fecking coffee
So the member of staff was made to apologise for the company they work for. They were also subjected to your sarcasm.
Well done it must of made you feel better."
O I felt fantastic I got so much satisfaction out of belittling the staff member I get off on it don’t you know Jeeez some people Take things far to seriously |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So. Bear with me here as I think only Boldy will get this hit hopefully I can explain
So Costa are selling Irish velvet latte and hot chocolate ?
I asked the coffee making person as to which brand of Irish whiskey it contained. To my disappointment they said there is no whiskey
So I asked well then why is it called an Irish velvet as an Irish velvet contains whiskey
They said it’s the velvet creamy top. I said it isn’t and insisted that I was led into Costa under false pretences
They apologised and said I should contact Head office and then asked what would I like
I said I’ll have a cappuccino without the frothy top she looked at me and said you mean an Americano. I said no a cappuccino without the froth
What the fuck has happened to this world. Why can’t coffee just be fecking coffee
So the member of staff was made to apologise for the company they work for. They were also subjected to your sarcasm.
Well done it must of made you feel better.
O I felt fantastic I got so much satisfaction out of belittling the staff member I get off on it don’t you know Jeeez some people Take things far to seriously "
Yes you did as you advertised it |
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By *uciyass OP Man
over a year ago
sheffield |
"So. Bear with me here as I think only Boldy will get this hit hopefully I can explain
So Costa are selling Irish velvet latte and hot chocolate ?
I asked the coffee making person as to which brand of Irish whiskey it contained. To my disappointment they said there is no whiskey
So I asked well then why is it called an Irish velvet as an Irish velvet contains whiskey
They said it’s the velvet creamy top. I said it isn’t and insisted that I was led into Costa under false pretences
They apologised and said I should contact Head office and then asked what would I like
I said I’ll have a cappuccino without the frothy top she looked at me and said you mean an Americano. I said no a cappuccino without the froth
What the fuck has happened to this world. Why can’t coffee just be fecking coffee
So the member of staff was made to apologise for the company they work for. They were also subjected to your sarcasm.
Well done it must of made you feel better.
O I felt fantastic I got so much satisfaction out of belittling the staff member I get off on it don’t you know Jeeez some people Take things far to seriously
Yes you did as you advertised it "
If you know me from the forums. You will know that I am very tongue in cheek and I mean very. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So. Bear with me here as I think only Boldy will get this hit hopefully I can explain
So Costa are selling Irish velvet latte and hot chocolate ?
I asked the coffee making person as to which brand of Irish whiskey it contained. To my disappointment they said there is no whiskey
So I asked well then why is it called an Irish velvet as an Irish velvet contains whiskey
They said it’s the velvet creamy top. I said it isn’t and insisted that I was led into Costa under false pretences
They apologised and said I should contact Head office and then asked what would I like
I said I’ll have a cappuccino without the frothy top she looked at me and said you mean an Americano. I said no a cappuccino without the froth
What the fuck has happened to this world. Why can’t coffee just be fecking coffee
So the member of staff was made to apologise for the company they work for. They were also subjected to your sarcasm.
Well done it must of made you feel better.
O I felt fantastic I got so much satisfaction out of belittling the staff member I get off on it don’t you know Jeeez some people Take things far to seriously
Yes you did as you advertised it
If you know me from the forums. You will know that I am very tongue in cheek and I mean very. "
No I don’t know you from the forums or your character, read it as it was written and replied.
Enjoy your evening |
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"So. Bear with me here as I think only Boldy will get this hit hopefully I can explain
So Costa are selling Irish velvet latte and hot chocolate ?
I asked the coffee making person as to which brand of Irish whiskey it contained. To my disappointment they said there is no whiskey
So I asked well then why is it called an Irish velvet as an Irish velvet contains whiskey
They said it’s the velvet creamy top. I said it isn’t and insisted that I was led into Costa under false pretences
They apologised and said I should contact Head office and then asked what would I like
I said I’ll have a cappuccino without the frothy top she looked at me and said you mean an Americano. I said no a cappuccino without the froth
What the fuck has happened to this world. Why can’t coffee just be fecking coffee
So the member of staff was made to apologise for the company they work for. They were also subjected to your sarcasm.
Well done it must of made you feel better."
You mean like 99% of retail workers who deal with this sort of problem because the head office mislabel everything and then expect us to deal with it? You saying you never complained in a store over service or product? |
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"So. Bear with me here as I think only Boldy will get this hit hopefully I can explain
So Costa are selling Irish velvet latte and hot chocolate ?
I asked the coffee making person as to which brand of Irish whiskey it contained. To my disappointment they said there is no whiskey
So I asked well then why is it called an Irish velvet as an Irish velvet contains whiskey
They said it’s the velvet creamy top. I said it isn’t and insisted that I was led into Costa under false pretences
They apologised and said I should contact Head office and then asked what would I like
I said I’ll have a cappuccino without the frothy top she looked at me and said you mean an Americano. I said no a cappuccino without the froth
What the fuck has happened to this world. Why can’t coffee just be fecking coffee "
Blame the fucking yanks |
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"All those long winded types of coffee that take an age to ask for and even longer to arrive... I have a solution here:
Drink tea 
--Dons tin hat, runs for cover--
"
Good cup of tea , no milk , 3 to 4 minutes plus 2 mins or more for water to boil
Good coffee , 30 sec to grind, 20 seconds express, 107 second milk froth
Thus under 3 minutes
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