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Post Orgasm Regret in Men and The Sex Drop in women
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've seen many threads about the sex or "sub" drop which a lot of women (and some men experience)
However I've never seen one on post orgasm regret.
Primarily it's experienced by men. When the absolute desire and lust departs and hormones fill the body during orgasm. Suddenly the brain kicks back in and you're suddenly feeling a need to escape, you might feel guilty, you might find intimacy difficult and in extreme cases you might "ghost" the person you were intimate with to somehow make it better .
Obviously there are varying degrees of this and it doesn't happen to everyone.
I just wondered if anyone does experience this or has and how they deal with it when it happens, or got past it ? |
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I think I have this (the male half of the couple). It’s kind of hard to explain; half a second or so before I cum my sexual desire kind of instantly switches off. It’s not regret, but I go from being really turned on to not at all instantly. I think it can make me seem a bit detached immediately afterwards. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think I have this (the male half of the couple). It’s kind of hard to explain; half a second or so before I cum my sexual desire kind of instantly switches off. It’s not regret, but I go from being really turned on to not at all instantly. I think it can make me seem a bit detached immediately afterwards."
Thanks for sharing. I think it's actually very common.
How do you deal with it? Has it ever affected your relationship with people? |
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"I think I have this (the male half of the couple). It’s kind of hard to explain; half a second or so before I cum my sexual desire kind of instantly switches off. It’s not regret, but I go from being really turned on to not at all instantly. I think it can make me seem a bit detached immediately afterwards.
Thanks for sharing. I think it's actually very common.
How do you deal with it? Has it ever affected your relationship with people? "
No I don’t think it’s that much of a problem. I suspect some people have it much worse because it doesn’t last long.
I’ll sometimes make a bit of a joke about it; I’ll cum and immediately say something like “right, must go and wash the car” or something similar... that always goes down well
I don’t think it has had an effect on my relationships |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Very interesting thread OP, thanks for posting.
I only get it occasionally after solo masturbation while watching porn, if it was a boredom wank, but that's a bit easier to explain.
I have never felt it after sex. Even if the encounter was a questionable choice haha. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I’ve never heard of the sex drop.
My partner experiences the feelings of guilt and a need to escape after he’s had sex with other women."
How do you support him through that? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Very interesting thread OP, thanks for posting.
I only get it occasionally after solo masturbation while watching porn, if it was a boredom wank, but that's a bit easier to explain.
I have never felt it after sex. Even if the encounter was a questionable choice haha."
It's a bit of a serious though provoking topic so thanks for weighing in |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think I have this (the male half of the couple). It’s kind of hard to explain; half a second or so before I cum my sexual desire kind of instantly switches off. It’s not regret, but I go from being really turned on to not at all instantly. I think it can make me seem a bit detached immediately afterwards.
Thanks for sharing. I think it's actually very common.
How do you deal with it? Has it ever affected your relationship with people?
No I don’t think it’s that much of a problem. I suspect some people have it much worse because it doesn’t last long.
I’ll sometimes make a bit of a joke about it; I’ll cum and immediately say something like “right, must go and wash the car” or something similar... that always goes down well
I don’t think it has had an effect on my relationships"
Thanks for your honesty so the joking is the strategy you've devised to deal with it. I think it's great if it's working for you . |
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"I’ve never heard of the sex drop.
My partner experiences the feelings of guilt and a need to escape after he’s had sex with other women.
How do you support him through that? "
To be honest he has his own theories on the reasons why he experiences this with some ladies and not others. He just thinks that they are not really compatible and so probably won’t have sex with them again. He says he trusts his body and intuition. I support him by letting him do what he feels is right. I don’t really know what else to do. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’ve never heard of the sex drop.
My partner experiences the feelings of guilt and a need to escape after he’s had sex with other women.
How do you support him through that?
To be honest he has his own theories on the reasons why he experiences this with some ladies and not others. He just thinks that they are not really compatible and so probably won’t have sex with them again. He says he trusts his body and intuition. I support him by letting him do what he feels is right. I don’t really know what else to do."
I think it's all you can do . Thank you for sharing xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's probably not going to do me any favours to admit it but yes, being truthful, I experience this a lot when playing, be that in person or virtually. Need some time afterwards to just....reset, I guess. |
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"I think I have this (the male half of the couple). It’s kind of hard to explain; half a second or so before I cum my sexual desire kind of instantly switches off. It’s not regret, but I go from being really turned on to not at all instantly. I think it can make me seem a bit detached immediately afterwards.
Thanks for sharing. I think it's actually very common.
How do you deal with it? Has it ever affected your relationship with people?
No I don’t think it’s that much of a problem. I suspect some people have it much worse because it doesn’t last long.
I’ll sometimes make a bit of a joke about it; I’ll cum and immediately say something like “right, must go and wash the car” or something similar... that always goes down well
I don’t think it has had an effect on my relationships
Thanks for your honesty so the joking is the strategy you've devised to deal with it. I think it's great if it's working for you . "
I think because we are in a long term relationship it’s sort of accepted as just how I am. Although my sexual feelings switch off super quickly, I don’t think other people really notice too much.
Going to clubs is a new experience for us, and a very positive one so far, I’m careful not to cum until the end of the evening because I don’t want the urge to switch off.
I said earlier that my desire switches off slightly before I cum, we could both be super excited about the prospect of me cumming in your mouth (let’s just pretend we are ) but at the point where I did cum I would already have lost that desire, so it wouldn’t matter if I did or not... does that make sense? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Same as the other guy really Sin, once I've cum to porn, I quickly need to mop up, switch the light off and sleep!
The speed of the drop off is huge. X"
Thanks for sharing. I've heard that before too. I guess with porn it's often the realisation that you're not actually with anyone. I think to an extent I feel that way after playing solo too. The release is needed but then I can at times just feel a bit empty. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's probably not going to do me any favours to admit it but yes, being truthful, I experience this a lot when playing, be that in person or virtually. Need some time afterwards to just....reset, I guess. "
Thanks for your honesty. It's great you recognise it . Being able to "reset " is important. |
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I never wanted to cum because immediately afterwards I lose all interest and feel as sexy as a house brick. Doesn't matter how sexy the situation was, I'd just be like "meh. Leave me alone now".
Not a problem now I'm not sexually active tho.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think I have this (the male half of the couple). It’s kind of hard to explain; half a second or so before I cum my sexual desire kind of instantly switches off. It’s not regret, but I go from being really turned on to not at all instantly. I think it can make me seem a bit detached immediately afterwards.
Thanks for sharing. I think it's actually very common.
How do you deal with it? Has it ever affected your relationship with people?
No I don’t think it’s that much of a problem. I suspect some people have it much worse because it doesn’t last long.
I’ll sometimes make a bit of a joke about it; I’ll cum and immediately say something like “right, must go and wash the car” or something similar... that always goes down well
I don’t think it has had an effect on my relationships
Thanks for your honesty so the joking is the strategy you've devised to deal with it. I think it's great if it's working for you .
I think because we are in a long term relationship it’s sort of accepted as just how I am. Although my sexual feelings switch off super quickly, I don’t think other people really notice too much.
Going to clubs is a new experience for us, and a very positive one so far, I’m careful not to cum until the end of the evening because I don’t want the urge to switch off.
I said earlier that my desire switches off slightly before I cum, we could both be super excited about the prospect of me cumming in your mouth (let’s just pretend we are ) but at the point where I did cum I would already have lost that desire, so it wouldn’t matter if I did or not... does that make sense?"
Having that bond and understanding of each other must make such a difference.
I get it entirely. Almost like the idea or the fantasy is somehow more of a sexual high than the reality at times..
Can I ask another question ? (Don't feel you have to answer)
In that scenario you describe , are you able to reminisce (and enjoy doing so) after and become aroused by the thoughts? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s a switch back from an emotionally charged state to a more logical mindset.
Personally, I don’t experience it as much anymore as I do my best to not give those kindsa thoughts the air time to be honest |
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I find that once I’ve had sex with someone I can get a bit bored of them unless there is something amazing to them. I can have a short attention span at times and get distracted very easily. It’s not really personal i just want the next experience.Hubby has done ok we’ve been together for 22 years.
Molly
XX |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I never wanted to cum because immediately afterwards I lose all interest and feel as sexy as a house brick. Doesn't matter how sexy the situation was, I'd just be like "meh. Leave me alone now".
Not a problem now I'm not sexually active tho.
Mrs"
Thanks for offering the female perspective. So many questions I could ask. Have you always felt like that? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It’s a switch back from an emotionally charged state to a more logical mindset.
Personally, I don’t experience it as much anymore as I do my best to not give those kindsa thoughts the air time to be honest "
Thanks that's far more succinct than my rambling!
It's great you're able to manage your thoughts in that way . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s a switch back from an emotionally charged state to a more logical mindset.
Personally, I don’t experience it as much anymore as I do my best to not give those kindsa thoughts the air time to be honest
Thanks that's far more succinct than my rambling!
It's great you're able to manage your thoughts in that way . "
That’s all good, Sometimes you feel that way if its not been good or you feel shame bc you enjoyed yourself after something erotic and ‘naughty’
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I find that once I’ve had sex with someone I can get a bit bored of them unless there is something amazing to them. I can have a short attention span at times and get distracted very easily. It’s not really personal i just want the next experience.Hubby has done ok we’ve been together for 22 years.
Molly
XX"
Thanks. I guess the novelty can ware off quickly sometimes. Or if there's too much hype it's hard for the reality to live up to it |
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"I never wanted to cum because immediately afterwards I lose all interest and feel as sexy as a house brick. Doesn't matter how sexy the situation was, I'd just be like "meh. Leave me alone now".
Not a problem now I'm not sexually active tho.
Mrs
Thanks for offering the female perspective. So many questions I could ask. Have you always felt like that? "
Yes. It's always been the case. Even after self pleasure. Almost instant switch off. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It’s a switch back from an emotionally charged state to a more logical mindset.
Personally, I don’t experience it as much anymore as I do my best to not give those kindsa thoughts the air time to be honest
Thanks that's far more succinct than my rambling!
It's great you're able to manage your thoughts in that way .
That’s all good, Sometimes you feel that way if its not been good or you feel shame bc you enjoyed yourself after something erotic and ‘naughty’
"
Yup shame definitely can play a big part. Guilt comes in for a whole host of reasons. It can stem back to experiences throughout our lives. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It’s a switch back from an emotionally charged state to a more logical mindset.
Personally, I don’t experience it as much anymore as I do my best to not give those kindsa thoughts the air time to be honest
Thanks that's far more succinct than my rambling!
It's great you're able to manage your thoughts in that way .
That’s all good, Sometimes you feel that way if its not been good or you feel shame bc you enjoyed yourself after something erotic and ‘naughty’
Yup shame definitely can play a big part. Guilt comes in for a whole host of reasons. It can stem back to experiences throughout our lives. "
As someone who’s experienced a lot of truma around sex it’s good to talk about it and remember that you shouldn’t feel gulity for enjoying yourself |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It’s a switch back from an emotionally charged state to a more logical mindset.
Personally, I don’t experience it as much anymore as I do my best to not give those kindsa thoughts the air time to be honest
Thanks that's far more succinct than my rambling!
It's great you're able to manage your thoughts in that way .
That’s all good, Sometimes you feel that way if its not been good or you feel shame bc you enjoyed yourself after something erotic and ‘naughty’
Yup shame definitely can play a big part. Guilt comes in for a whole host of reasons. It can stem back to experiences throughout our lives.
As someone who’s experienced a lot of truma around sex it’s good to talk about it and remember that you shouldn’t feel gulity for enjoying yourself"
Absolutely agree |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It’s a switch back from an emotionally charged state to a more logical mindset.
Personally, I don’t experience it as much anymore as I do my best to not give those kindsa thoughts the air time to be honest
Thanks that's far more succinct than my rambling!
It's great you're able to manage your thoughts in that way .
That’s all good, Sometimes you feel that way if its not been good or you feel shame bc you enjoyed yourself after something erotic and ‘naughty’
Yup shame definitely can play a big part. Guilt comes in for a whole host of reasons. It can stem back to experiences throughout our lives.
As someone who’s experienced a lot of truma around sex it’s good to talk about it and remember that you shouldn’t feel gulity for enjoying yourself
Absolutely agree "
Sex is all about communication, we’re always told listen twice as much as ya say, the same goes for sex, observe more, act less and you’re gonna enjoy yourself! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It’s a switch back from an emotionally charged state to a more logical mindset.
Personally, I don’t experience it as much anymore as I do my best to not give those kindsa thoughts the air time to be honest
Thanks that's far more succinct than my rambling!
It's great you're able to manage your thoughts in that way .
That’s all good, Sometimes you feel that way if its not been good or you feel shame bc you enjoyed yourself after something erotic and ‘naughty’
Yup shame definitely can play a big part. Guilt comes in for a whole host of reasons. It can stem back to experiences throughout our lives.
As someone who’s experienced a lot of truma around sex it’s good to talk about it and remember that you shouldn’t feel gulity for enjoying yourself
Absolutely agree
Sex is all about communication, we’re always told listen twice as much as ya say, the same goes for sex, observe more, act less and you’re gonna enjoy yourself! "
I think the problem is a lot of people don't want to admit they feel this way. So it's glossed over and bottled up . Maybe even a habit forms.
We talk about all other aspects of sexuality but this is one many avoid.
Fear of how others perceive it I guess.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It’s a switch back from an emotionally charged state to a more logical mindset.
Personally, I don’t experience it as much anymore as I do my best to not give those kindsa thoughts the air time to be honest
Thanks that's far more succinct than my rambling!
It's great you're able to manage your thoughts in that way .
That’s all good, Sometimes you feel that way if its not been good or you feel shame bc you enjoyed yourself after something erotic and ‘naughty’
Yup shame definitely can play a big part. Guilt comes in for a whole host of reasons. It can stem back to experiences throughout our lives.
As someone who’s experienced a lot of truma around sex it’s good to talk about it and remember that you shouldn’t feel gulity for enjoying yourself
Absolutely agree
Sex is all about communication, we’re always told listen twice as much as ya say, the same goes for sex, observe more, act less and you’re gonna enjoy yourself!
I think the problem is a lot of people don't want to admit they feel this way. So it's glossed over and bottled up . Maybe even a habit forms.
We talk about all other aspects of sexuality but this is one many avoid.
Fear of how others perceive it I guess.
"
They forget sex doesn’t end when you cum. |
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"
Can I ask another question ? (Don't feel you have to answer)
In that scenario you describe , are you able to reminisce (and enjoy doing so) after and become aroused by the thoughts?"
Yes, I can afterwards, but I don’t think I really do that very much. I actually think most of the things I would think about to get aroused wouldn’t actually have me in them.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It’s a switch back from an emotionally charged state to a more logical mindset.
Personally, I don’t experience it as much anymore as I do my best to not give those kindsa thoughts the air time to be honest
Thanks that's far more succinct than my rambling!
It's great you're able to manage your thoughts in that way .
That’s all good, Sometimes you feel that way if its not been good or you feel shame bc you enjoyed yourself after something erotic and ‘naughty’
Yup shame definitely can play a big part. Guilt comes in for a whole host of reasons. It can stem back to experiences throughout our lives.
As someone who’s experienced a lot of truma around sex it’s good to talk about it and remember that you shouldn’t feel gulity for enjoying yourself
Absolutely agree
Sex is all about communication, we’re always told listen twice as much as ya say, the same goes for sex, observe more, act less and you’re gonna enjoy yourself!
I think the problem is a lot of people don't want to admit they feel this way. So it's glossed over and bottled up . Maybe even a habit forms.
We talk about all other aspects of sexuality but this is one many avoid.
Fear of how others perceive it I guess.
They forget sex doesn’t end when you cum."
You're so right. However it's sometimes the period of transition that can be hard. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
Can I ask another question ? (Don't feel you have to answer)
In that scenario you describe , are you able to reminisce (and enjoy doing so) after and become aroused by the thoughts?
Yes, I can afterwards, but I don’t think I really do that very much. I actually think most of the things I would think about to get aroused wouldn’t actually have me in them.
"
I can relate to that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It’s a switch back from an emotionally charged state to a more logical mindset.
Personally, I don’t experience it as much anymore as I do my best to not give those kindsa thoughts the air time to be honest
Thanks that's far more succinct than my rambling!
It's great you're able to manage your thoughts in that way .
That’s all good, Sometimes you feel that way if its not been good or you feel shame bc you enjoyed yourself after something erotic and ‘naughty’
Yup shame definitely can play a big part. Guilt comes in for a whole host of reasons. It can stem back to experiences throughout our lives.
As someone who’s experienced a lot of truma around sex it’s good to talk about it and remember that you shouldn’t feel gulity for enjoying yourself
Absolutely agree
Sex is all about communication, we’re always told listen twice as much as ya say, the same goes for sex, observe more, act less and you’re gonna enjoy yourself!
I think the problem is a lot of people don't want to admit they feel this way. So it's glossed over and bottled up . Maybe even a habit forms.
We talk about all other aspects of sexuality but this is one many avoid.
Fear of how others perceive it I guess.
They forget sex doesn’t end when you cum.
You're so right. However it's sometimes the period of transition that can be hard. "
If you’ve ever done bsdm you’ll know how important the atfercare is and the same principle applies x |
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"I've seen many threads about the sex or "sub" drop which a lot of women (and some men experience)
However I've never seen one on post orgasm regret.
Primarily it's experienced by men. When the absolute desire and lust departs and hormones fill the body during orgasm. Suddenly the brain kicks back in and you're suddenly feeling a need to escape, you might feel guilty, you might find intimacy difficult and in extreme cases you might "ghost" the person you were intimate with to somehow make it better .
Obviously there are varying degrees of this and it doesn't happen to everyone.
I just wondered if anyone does experience this or has and how they deal with it when it happens, or got past it ? "
I think for me it mostly depends on my feelings for the woman I am with. If i'm in a serious relationship (i.e in love) then after sex is a very important part of our intimacy, holding someone close to you and kind of winding down together if you see what I mean? If there's no connection in the mind and heart then it can be hard to show that to the person you have been with because deep down you know it's not genuine.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The regret depends a lot on situation. If it is a regular one-on-one sex in regular home setting, I just feel love for the lady. It ends in cuddle or kisses. If it is a swinger or gangbang party, the regret hits me hard. It makes me want to leave the place immediately. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Was reading about this the other day and discussing it with E - crass name but it's been dubbed "post-nut syndrome".
We've both experienced extreme sadness after some exceptional times together and this goes a long way to explaining it.
Many men (and women to an extent) can have an overwhelming urge to flee in the moments immediately after sex. Another aspect is experiencing extreme clarity of thought.
Makes interesting reading |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've seen many threads about the sex or "sub" drop which a lot of women (and some men experience)
However I've never seen one on post orgasm regret.
Primarily it's experienced by men. When the absolute desire and lust departs and hormones fill the body during orgasm. Suddenly the brain kicks back in and you're suddenly feeling a need to escape, you might feel guilty, you might find intimacy difficult and in extreme cases you might "ghost" the person you were intimate with to somehow make it better .
Obviously there are varying degrees of this and it doesn't happen to everyone.
I just wondered if anyone does experience this or has and how they deal with it when it happens, or got past it ?
I think for me it mostly depends on my feelings for the woman I am with. If i'm in a serious relationship (i.e in love) then after sex is a very important part of our intimacy, holding someone close to you and kind of winding down together if you see what I mean? If there's no connection in the mind and heart then it can be hard to show that to the person you have been with because deep down you know it's not genuine.. "
I think that's definitely a factor ..if you feel secure with the person it maybe doesn't hit you in the same way. However external factors also play a part too . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The regret depends a lot on situation. If it is a regular one-on-one sex in regular home setting, I just feel love for the lady. It ends in cuddle or kisses. If it is a swinger or gangbang party, the regret hits me hard. It makes me want to leave the place immediately."
Yes. I think that partly comes from the social values/ societal or moral norms that are placed up on us . For some of us no matter how much we enjoy and can sensibly rationalise the activities, it can be hard for our brain to switch off those thoughts |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Was reading about this the other day and discussing it with E - crass name but it's been dubbed "post-nut syndrome".
We've both experienced extreme sadness after some exceptional times together and this goes a long way to explaining it.
Many men (and women to an extent) can have an overwhelming urge to flee in the moments immediately after sex. Another aspect is experiencing extreme clarity of thought.
Makes interesting reading"
Agreed. I've had both aspect's. I've been incredibly emotional and had some real revelations too. The release of hormones and the high we can are akin to a shot of morphine. With a high we often experience the low. Also known as the drop . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The regret depends a lot on situation. If it is a regular one-on-one sex in regular home setting, I just feel love for the lady. It ends in cuddle or kisses. If it is a swinger or gangbang party, the regret hits me hard. It makes me want to leave the place immediately.
Yes. I think that partly comes from the social values/ societal or moral norms that are placed up on us . For some of us no matter how much we enjoy and can sensibly rationalise the activities, it can be hard for our brain to switch off those thoughts"
Because we’re programmed to be shamed for getting our rocks off! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The regret depends a lot on situation. If it is a regular one-on-one sex in regular home setting, I just feel love for the lady. It ends in cuddle or kisses. If it is a swinger or gangbang party, the regret hits me hard. It makes me want to leave the place immediately.
Yes. I think that partly comes from the social values/ societal or moral norms that are placed up on us . For some of us no matter how much we enjoy and can sensibly rationalise the activities, it can be hard for our brain to switch off those thoughts
Because we’re programmed to be shamed for getting our rocks off! "
Sadly a lot of us have been |
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There's a level of biology behind it. Most men experience a refractory period in certain parts of the brain after orgasm, where most women don't. The time of this varies due to age or simply the individual, and makes multiple orgasms far more achievable in women than me (you lucky devils)
The guilt isn't biology, it's one of many effects that can happen after an orgasm. Couldn't speak for every guy, but if there is something like guilt felt in that time, communication counteracts and helps. Like with most percieved problems sexually, I guess |
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"Shit if i cum i want to go again make the most of my time just cos the cocks finished dont mean i am"
...well, they must have worked very hard to have your penis, it would be a shame to leave so soon |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Shit if i cum i want to go again make the most of my time just cos the cocks finished dont mean i am
...well, they must have worked very hard to have your penis, it would be a shame to leave so soon " i speak of my history and the one who has the access codes and the freedom of my penis |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've seen many threads about the sex or "sub" drop which a lot of women (and some men experience)
However I've never seen one on post orgasm regret.
Primarily it's experienced by men. When the absolute desire and lust departs and hormones fill the body during orgasm. Suddenly the brain kicks back in and you're suddenly feeling a need to escape, you might feel guilty, you might find intimacy difficult and in extreme cases you might "ghost" the person you were intimate with to somehow make it better .
Obviously there are varying degrees of this and it doesn't happen to everyone.
I just wondered if anyone does experience this or has and how they deal with it when it happens, or got past it ? "
I have experienced it. My first meet in fab. She was was a stunner. Met her for dinner and drinks and went straight into it. Sex was good. But felt terrible after that. |
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I've never really explored my feelings but guess it sums up part of my thought process.
It explains why I get more from and enjoy foreplay more than the actual act in a number of occasions.
I think communication is key. I've had experiences which have continued after the sex that I have enjoyed and others where I feel kind of empty or regretful.
Maybe thinking deeper its a form of depression/anxiety and certainly links in.
Thanks for posting. A really interesting topic. Got me thinking. |
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By *rian4uMan
over a year ago
London |
I think it is all in the mind and to do with early childhood imprints on sex is bad, masturbating is bad etc. Some never get over it and it shows in this kind of guilt behaviour.
Personally I am very tactile and enjoy post sex caressing and chatting. I am surprised how many times I have been told my staying was v much appreciated, because most get up and leave rapidly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Only have had this with one offs, hence why i dont do them now. When that connections built it doesnt happen"
Agree. When there is connection, you are sad to see them go! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Only have had this with one offs, hence why i dont do them now. When that connections built it doesnt happen
Agree. When there is connection, you are sad to see them go! "
Indeed it comes rarely |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you everyone for sharing your experiences and for being respectful to each other.
I think it's a rarely spoken about topic but can have such an impact on people and their relationships.
From personal experience its also really tough to see someone you care about go through this and to be on the recieving end of it.
If this thread even makes one Person understand someone or themselves a bit more then it's of importance xx |
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I've had it before particularly when I was younger following a one night stand with someone who wasn't really my type (we've all had the d*unken horn!) or with a fuck buddy who you like, but not enough to want to make it an official relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you everyone for sharing your experiences and for being respectful to each other.
I think it's a rarely spoken about topic but can have such an impact on people and their relationships.
From personal experience its also really tough to see someone you care about go through this and to be on the recieving end of it.
If this thread even makes one Person understand someone or themselves a bit more then it's of importance xx "
I came to FAB to explore my wild side. In fact I learned a lot about me during this few short weeks. I am not kinky, not into three/foursome, can't do nsa nor into watching others have sex. What has worked for me is vanilla relationship with someone you know, trust and have the connection with. After my first NSA, I didnt want to meet her anymore. I came up with excuses as I didnt have the guts to tell her how I felt after we had sex. I did eventually tell her and told her it was not her, but me, only by hurting her as rejection is a hard pill to swallow. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to get this. I don’t really know whether I still suffer from it or not as sex is too infrequent and I think I’m more grateful for an opportunity now.
My post sex drop was a lot to do with guilt. I had very strong Catholic views of sex was just for procreation inculcated from a very early age. I also realised that it was pleasurable in ways that the Catholic Church forbade in my formative years. So my sexual experiences were a cycle of pleasure seeking followed by guilt and abstinence. I think that has haunted me throughout my life and become a pattern. Only writing this now makes me think I may not have exorcised this demon fully yet, Hmmm thanks OP |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you everyone for sharing your experiences and for being respectful to each other.
I think it's a rarely spoken about topic but can have such an impact on people and their relationships.
From personal experience its also really tough to see someone you care about go through this and to be on the recieving end of it.
If this thread even makes one Person understand someone or themselves a bit more then it's of importance xx "
Thank you x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This happens to me after masturbating not so much after sex. That's why I don't like masturbating anymore. I guess from the shame as I grew up religious |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Only have had this with one offs, hence why i dont do them now. When that connections built it doesnt happen"
Yes I agree. Same for me. Tried one offs. Doesn’t do it for me at all. I usually spend the night when I’ve met and it’s always one person and regular so not really an issue anymore. |
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I think this is behind a lot of gent not showing up to meets. They love the change all ready to go for the meet and think "I'm gunna empty the balls befor I set off so I lay longer". They have a wank cum then get the regret and just "ghost" / disappear and don't show up.
I can confirm I've never done this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve experienced both pre and post orgasm sex drops.
Day to day post event sex drop has become the norm.
Pre event drop has occurred previously with other women. Everything is fine until it’s time to put a condom on then the urge disappears almost instantly. It’s as if my brain considers the final act of intercourse to be the ultimate no no and switches everything off. Before the condom pause there has been no issues.
It’s just the way my brain is wired. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My husband made me orgasm at a club in a group situation and the second he had I wanted out of there I was even starting to feel anxious and an anxiety attack coming on he could tell so we drove home and I went to bed straight away it was horrible I don’t orgasm till I’m home now and I love the play in a club haven’t had a bad experience since. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have experienced this but only when it turns out I was not as interested in someone as much as I thought. And obviously I had let my penis make a decision for me.
I’ve not experienced it for years but because I have only slept with people I’ve had more than just a sexually desire for |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m Bi curious and I experience this but only after wanking when I’ve been fantasising about gay or bi sex.
I attribute it to my curiosity only occurring when I’m already horny and turned on, so I’m essentially fantasising about stuff beyond what I’d usually consider sexy. Post orgasm, reality snaps back into place |
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It's well understood in the m4m meeting world, it's why there are so many "blow n go" meets, or guys who will meet you already on all 4's, simply fuck and go. No chat, no time to feel awkward and guilty. Same for glory holes. |
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