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Ridiculous injuries

By *wist my nipples OP Couple over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

I've just flicked chicken curry in my eye, wiggling to Wasabi (Little Mix, I know, I know) and making rather free with my stirring.

Aiyahhhhh!

What ridiculous things have you done that resulted in injury, serious or otherwise?

Mrs TMN x

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By *itch and TwatCouple over a year ago

Near Rushden Lakes

"I've just flicked chicken curry in my eye, wiggling to Wasabi (Little Mix, I know, I know) and making rather free with my stirring.

Aiyahhhhh!

What ridiculous things have you done that resulted in injury, serious or otherwise?

Mrs TMN x "

I just stubbed my fabbing finger

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sprained my ankle stepping on a stone the size of a small match box. My ankles are that weak

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By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

I know someone who burnt their tit trying to iron a shirt while they were wearing it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I know someone who burnt their tit trying to iron a shirt while they were wearing it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I know someone who burnt their tit trying to iron a shirt while they were wearing it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fell down the side of a bridge, snapped my leg and shattered my ankle

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By *ORDERMANMan over a year ago

wrexham

"I've just flicked chicken curry in my eye, wiggling to Wasabi (Little Mix, I know, I know) and making rather free with my stirring.

Aiyahhhhh!

What ridiculous things have you done that resulted in injury, serious or otherwise?

Mrs TMN x

I just stubbed my fabbing finger

Now that is serious and a major catastrophe

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"I've just flicked chicken curry in my eye, wiggling to Wasabi (Little Mix, I know, I know) and making rather free with my stirring.

Aiyahhhhh!

What ridiculous things have you done that resulted in injury, serious or otherwise?

Mrs TMN x "

Made me chuckle

more the imagining the free stirring to little mix..love it

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"Fell down the side of a bridge, snapped my leg and shattered my ankle "

Ouch x

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

wearing no knickers...I got my zip caught on a lip

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"I know someone who burnt their tit trying to iron a shirt while they were wearing it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fractured a bone in my foot earlier this year. Fell down a hole distracted by a puppy!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Punched myself in the face while pulling up my bra strap.

Got whiplash from breaking polystyrene blocks.

Tore a gash in my forehead feeding the cat. (Bent down to put the food in her bowl, caught my head on the kitchen worktop).

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

got chewing gum stuck my nose when I was 5

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"wearing no knickers...I got my zip caught on a lip "

This makes my eyes water

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I know someone who burnt their tit trying to iron a shirt while they were wearing it

Everyone has 'that friend' I swear it wasn't me haha

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"wearing no knickers...I got my zip caught on a lip

This makes my eyes water

Made mine too lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Punched myself in the face while pulling up my bra strap.

Got whiplash from breaking polystyrene blocks.

Tore a gash in my forehead feeding the cat. (Bent down to put the food in her bowl, caught my head on the kitchen worktop). "
so a tad clumsy then

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wore the wrong knickers, thought I'd opt for a pretty pair as I was sick of wearing comfy ones.

3 bastards called in sick at work meaning my shift went from 6 n half hours to 13 hours ..... with a front wedgie

That was a week ago and the flap swelling is just starting to go down.

When my lad lived at home I'd been out for the weekend while he was at his dads the weekend. My case was in the living room still full of toys and raunchy clothes. My wand was plugged in next to the sofa coz I'm a filthy pervert who had a fumble while my kid was away. Anywhoooo, I'd napped on the sofa. Woke up to the sound of him coming through the front door. Panic struck. Unplugged wand in record timing, as I leapt forward to put it in the case and shut the lid it went tits up.

I leapt, my toes landed in my shoe which was sideways, bent them all back as I face planted IN the case, lid landing on my head. I got the wand in, but fuck me I could hardly walk for a week and my toes were black with bruising!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"wearing no knickers...I got my zip caught on a lip

This makes my eyes water

Made mine too lol"
I got zip caught some else took abit skin off and drew blood

owwwww

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"Punched myself in the face while pulling up my bra strap.

Got whiplash from breaking polystyrene blocks.

Tore a gash in my forehead feeding the cat. (Bent down to put the food in her bowl, caught my head on the kitchen worktop). "

I hope that wasn't all in 1 day

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By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Sat on a toilet seat with a crack in it once which pinched my fandango

Now that bloody hurt!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've just flicked chicken curry in my eye, wiggling to Wasabi (Little Mix, I know, I know) and making rather free with my stirring.

Aiyahhhhh!

What ridiculous things have you done that resulted in injury, serious or otherwise?

Mrs TMN x "
i had a sweet chilli dip on my Brazilian breaded chicken breast a few weeks ago must have got some on my fingers and rubbed my eye omg not good

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"wearing no knickers...I got my zip caught on a lip

This makes my eyes water

Made mine too lolI got zip caught some else took abit skin off and drew blood

owwwww"

I wince at the memory

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"Sat on a toilet seat with a crack in it once which pinched my fandango

Now that bloody hurt!"

Oh nooo

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"wearing no knickers...I got my zip caught on a lip

This makes my eyes water

Made mine too lolI got zip caught some else took abit skin off and drew blood

owwwww

I wince at the memory

"
face lip or lady lip ?

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By *rAitchMan over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

Got run over by a fork lift truck that weighed 6 tons. Steel toecap in boot crushed, breaking every bone in my foot, as well as breaking my leg. My foot is now 1/2" shorter than the other, with bony lumps over it.

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"Wore the wrong knickers, thought I'd opt for a pretty pair as I was sick of wearing comfy ones.

3 bastards called in sick at work meaning my shift went from 6 n half hours to 13 hours ..... with a front wedgie

That was a week ago and the flap swelling is just starting to go down.

OMG P I'm laughing out loud on the bus

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By *manaWoman over a year ago

Basingstoke

Loads.

Burnt my retina with toilet cleaner getting too vigorous with cleaning

Dislocated my hip during a particularly crazy sex session

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"Loads.

Burnt my retina with toilet cleaner getting too vigorous with cleaning

Dislocated my hip during a particularly crazy sex session

I'm trying to imagine the position that caused that..sounds awful

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"Got run over by a fork lift truck that weighed 6 tons. Steel toecap in boot crushed, breaking every bone in my foot, as well as breaking my leg. My foot is now 1/2" shorter than the other, with bony lumps over it."

Jeez..did you get compo?

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By *manaWoman over a year ago

Basingstoke

"Loads.

Burnt my retina with toilet cleaner getting too vigorous with cleaning

Dislocated my hip during a particularly crazy sex session

I'm trying to imagine the position that caused that..sounds awful "

I cried. A LOT.

And it was a tad embarrassing

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Loads.

Burnt my retina with toilet cleaner getting too vigorous with cleaning

Dislocated my hip during a particularly crazy sex session

"
surprised you can still see good I that eye

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By *rAitchMan over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

Jeez..did you get compo?"

Yep, £30k, but that took 2 years to come through, so half of that went to pay my debts off that had amassed during 10 months off work.

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By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

I tripped over a carpet thread after going to the loo and coming back downstairs into my living room. I broke my bloody ankle!

I also damaged my rotator cuff after losing my balance painting a bit of wall above the skirting board, it hurt so much i lay on the floor and had a quiet sniffle to myself.

When younger i tripped over a garden rake in my nan and gramps garden and fell straight onto their doorstep and broke my arm. My Aunties husband absolutely pissed himself laughing.

I’ve also been swinging on a swing in same garden and accidentally let go of the swing and landed in the hedge by nan and gramps back door. Luckily nobody saw me so my dignity remained intact.

I’ve also fallen whilst running for the loo after getting out of a swimming pool on holiday, fell and slid, went into the door frame and needed a butterfly stitch. Still got the scar.

How i’m allowed out without supervision is beyond me.

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By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Fell right down a manhole when I was a little kid, my sister thought it was fcuking hilarious, I was traumatised!

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"I tripped over a carpet thread after going to the loo and coming back downstairs into my living room. I broke my bloody ankle!

I also damaged my rotator cuff after losing my balance painting a bit of wall above the skirting board, it hurt so much i lay on the floor and had a quiet sniffle to myself.

When younger i tripped over a garden rake in my nan and gramps garden and fell straight onto their doorstep and broke my arm. My Aunties husband absolutely pissed himself laughing.

I’ve also been swinging on a swing in same garden and accidentally let go of the swing and landed in the hedge by nan and gramps back door. Luckily nobody saw me so my dignity remained intact.

I’ve also fallen whilst running for the loo after getting out of a swimming pool on holiday, fell and slid, went into the door frame and needed a butterfly stitch. Still got the scar.

How i’m allowed out without supervision is beyond me."

I know it's cruel to laugh but....

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By *ackinabox19Man over a year ago

Harrogate

[Removed by poster at 25/11/19 19:52:11]

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By *ackinabox19Man over a year ago

Harrogate

"I tripped over a carpet thread after going to the loo and coming back downstairs into my living room. I broke my bloody ankle!

I also damaged my rotator cuff after losing my balance painting a bit of wall above the skirting board, it hurt so much i lay on the floor and had a quiet sniffle to myself.

When younger i tripped over a garden rake in my nan and gramps garden and fell straight onto their doorstep and broke my arm. My Aunties husband absolutely pissed himself laughing.

I’ve also been swinging on a swing in same garden and accidentally let go of the swing and landed in the hedge by nan and gramps back door. Luckily nobody saw me so my dignity remained intact.

I’ve also fallen whilst running for the loo after getting out of a swimming pool on holiday, fell and slid, went into the door frame and needed a butterfly stitch. Still got the scar.

How i’m allowed out without supervision is beyond me."

Made me laugh

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By *ORDERMANMan over a year ago

wrexham

This more an injury I didn't get, and how lucky and fortunate I was..

Recall staying in Abington (one near Oxford) once, enquired as to where a late drink could be obtained, after pub closed, ascertained only venue was a local soccer social club, which was having a dance...

So off I popped, seemed to be down some lane, any way had a few extra beers, decided time to head back to where I was staying back into the town, so walking back up this lane, decides I need a leek, can make out a gap in the fence further up, with a gap amongst the bushes, over the fence into the gap, mind you it's pitch black, car is coming up lane so just step forward ensuring I'm totally obscured from road and bang I've dropped about 6 to 8 feet..

When you felt the rubble bricks as stood up could easily of broken ankle or leg, seemed where I stopped was like a roof of a concrete hut or a kiln, built into side of road..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

ahh remember did jump on my bike when I was 8 and bigger drop was bigger than it looked and crash crotch first on the bar

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Lost my balance getting out of a shower in a bath in a hotel abroad about 4mnths ago...damaged my rotator cuff muscle and its still giving me jip. Affecting my arm & shoulder too.

Have to go for physio etc. Cannot lift alot of weights in gym as a result or put on deoderant properly!! Pain in ass!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"wearing no knickers...I got my zip caught on a lip "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"wearing no knickers...I got my zip caught on a lip

"
sorry answer my question lol

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By *Man1263Man over a year ago

Stockport

Has some eucalyptus crystals when i had a cold.

Picked them up to put in hot water (to breathe in the vapour), then rubbed eye!

Having not learnt from that, few months later, chopping up some chillies for a curry and yes, but only the one eye this time

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

in the summer a lady friend tripped over a very small tree stump it was miniscule she ended up on her back in a heep i mean it was hilarious to witness but unfortunately she has suffered quite a lot since poor thing

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I managed to stab myself in the eye with hard, pointy cardboard. I had to drive from Kent back to Gloucestershire. Pure hell.

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By *eastAndTheHarlotCouple over a year ago

Hartlepool

I (brat) have fell from a 1foot balance beem and dislocated my arm

I had my dominant arm in a cast from finger to shoulder for 6 weeks

If you fall backwards, don't put your arms down!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A friend of mine got a bloody nose and a black eye after he was preparing chilli and didn’t wash his hands well enough before getting amorous with his wife and trying to ”feed the pony”.

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By *uenevereWoman over a year ago

Scunthorpe

As a teenager I decided to jump over a low wall rather than walk round. Caught my foot and landed with most of my weight on one thigh on top of the wall.

Hurt like hell but got up and walked off trying to pretend it didn't.

The bruise was huge and took weeks to go... in summer

Not a great look.

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"wearing no knickers...I got my zip caught on a lip

sorry answer my question lol"

Just seen it..lady lip..and they are not small lol

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"wearing no knickers...I got my zip caught on a lip

sorry answer my question lol"

I'm chuclikg imagining a face lip getting caught...you'd have to be really eager I reckon for that to happen

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"wearing no knickers...I got my zip caught on a lip

sorry answer my question lol

Just seen it..lady lip..and they are not small lol"
wouldn't no unless you like me warm them up for you on this cold evening

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"wearing no knickers...I got my zip caught on a lip

sorry answer my question lol

I'm chuclikg imagining a face lip getting caught...you'd have to be really eager I reckon for that to happen

"
not his lip surely?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"wearing no knickers...I got my zip caught on a lip

sorry answer my question lol

I'm chuclikg imagining a face lip getting caught...you'd have to be really eager I reckon for that to happen

"
I don't some coats have high zips lol

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"wearing no knickers...I got my zip caught on a lip

sorry answer my question lol

I'm chuclikg imagining a face lip getting caught...you'd have to be really eager I reckon for that to happen

not his lip surely?

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"wearing no knickers...I got my zip caught on a lip

sorry answer my question lol

I'm chuclikg imagining a face lip getting caught...you'd have to be really eager I reckon for that to happen

I don't some coats have high zips lol"

this is true

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By *abs..Woman over a year ago

I superglued my lips together. That wasn’t great

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"wearing no knickers...I got my zip caught on a lip

sorry answer my question lol

Just seen it..lady lip..and they are not small lolwouldn't no unless you like me warm them up for you on this cold evening

well you'd definitely need both hands

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By *stellaWoman over a year ago

London

"I superglued my lips together. That wasn’t great

Mouth or...?

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"I superglued my lips together. That wasn’t great

I'm going ask..which lips

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"wearing no knickers...I got my zip caught on a lip

sorry answer my question lol

I'm chuclikg imagining a face lip getting caught...you'd have to be really eager I reckon for that to happen

I don't some coats have high zips lol

this is true

"
didn't answer my warm up idea

also admit might have caught my beard in coat zip

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"wearing no knickers...I got my zip caught on a lip

sorry answer my question lol

I'm chuclikg imagining a face lip getting caught...you'd have to be really eager I reckon for that to happen

I don't some coats have high zips lol

this is true

didn't answer my warm up idea

also admit might have caught my beard in coat zip

"
oh you did was think more my face just don't zip up when I am don't there putting a good shift in my lips might get caught

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I superglued my lips together. That wasn’t great

I'm going ask..which lips

"
glue fetish ? lol

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By *adetMan over a year ago

South of Ipswich

My friend visited the Anne Frank museum in Amsterdam. She tripped on a floor board and put her hand through a glass display cabinet

They had to call fire brigade to get her out

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"I superglued my lips together. That wasn’t great

I'm going ask..which lips

glue fetish ? lol"

I have many

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Punched myself in the face while pulling up my bra strap.

Got whiplash from breaking polystyrene blocks.

Tore a gash in my forehead feeding the cat. (Bent down to put the food in her bowl, caught my head on the kitchen worktop).

I hope that wasn't all in 1 day

Thankfully not!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I superglued my lips together. That wasn’t great

I'm going ask..which lips

glue fetish ? lol

I have many

"
well as long as you don't hurt or poo on me I am game anabelle lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Punched myself in the face while pulling up my bra strap.

Got whiplash from breaking polystyrene blocks.

Tore a gash in my forehead feeding the cat. (Bent down to put the food in her bowl, caught my head on the kitchen worktop).

I hope that wasn't all in 1 day

Thankfully not!!!"
rub my beard on you make it all better

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By *abs..Woman over a year ago

"I superglued my lips together. That wasn’t great

I'm going ask..which lips

The ones that stop my face from fraying

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By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Had a coat with a big floppy collar which looked great but kept blowing up and flicking me right in the eye!

Had to send it to the chazza shop for my own safety

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By *cankeepMan over a year ago

Norwich

Yesterday I was trying to get the wrapping off a chicken to roast, in the kitchen sink. Quite tough wrapping, I ripped it a bit then kept pulling and pulling it apart. But it wouldn't budge... grrrr!

Giving it a damn good yank it suddenly ripped. My wrists smashed against either side of my sink. Much swearing etc. Result: today I have a painful bruise on the outside of each wrist

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

[Removed by poster at 25/11/19 20:36:20]

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"I superglued my lips together. That wasn’t great

I'm going ask..which lips

glue fetish ? lol

I have many

well as long as you don't hurt or poo on me I am game anabelle lol

can't promise not to

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i was hurriedly setting up a shelter using a tarpaulin and a cls wooden frame nailed myself to the frame using my nail gun

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"Yesterday I was trying to get the wrapping off a chicken to roast, in the kitchen sink. Quite tough wrapping, I ripped it a bit then kept pulling and pulling it apart. But it wouldn't budge... grrrr!

Giving it a damn good yank it suddenly ripped. My wrists smashed against either side of my sink. Much swearing etc. Result: today I have a painful bruise on the outside of each wrist

yeah but was the chicken ok

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I superglued my lips together. That wasn’t great

I'm going ask..which lips

glue fetish ? lol

I have many

well as long as you don't hurt or poo on me I am game anabelle lol

can't promise not to

"
i'll risk it never say no to pretty blonde that's my rule

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"i was hurriedly setting up a shelter using a tarpaulin and a cls wooden frame nailed myself to the frame using my nail gun

Hmmm I can see that happening

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Burned my cock with overheated baby oil while wanking.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I superglued my lips together. That wasn’t great

I'm going ask..which lips

glue fetish ? lol

I have many

well as long as you don't hurt or poo on me I am game anabelle lol

can't promise not to

"
can you show me you lips need to know what I am dealing with just check for glue

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By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"Burned my cock with overheated baby oil while wanking.

That still makes me laugh sorry

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"i was hurriedly setting up a shelter using a tarpaulin and a cls wooden frame nailed myself to the frame using my nail gun

Hmmm I can see that happening

"
it did straight through the nail of my thumb lol

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"I superglued my lips together. That wasn’t great

I'm going ask..which lips

glue fetish ? lol

I have many

well as long as you don't hurt or poo on me I am game anabelle lol

can't promise not to

can you show me you lips need to know what I am dealing with just check for glue

Don't you worry both the glue and them dried up ages ago

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"i was hurriedly setting up a shelter using a tarpaulin and a cls wooden frame nailed myself to the frame using my nail gun

Hmmm I can see that happening

it did straight through the nail of my thumb lol

Ah no...painful x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I superglued my lips together. That wasn’t great

I'm going ask..which lips

glue fetish ? lol

I have many

well as long as you don't hurt or poo on me I am game anabelle lol

can't promise not to

can you show me you lips need to know what I am dealing with just check for glue

Don't you worry both the glue and them dried up ages ago

"
I can change that

although can't send face pic unless you can wait 4 years lol

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"Burned my cock with overheated baby oil while wanking.

This is why I shave

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

remember a guy in school when I was 9 stapled tight middle of his thumb nail

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"i was hurriedly setting up a shelter using a tarpaulin and a cls wooden frame nailed myself to the frame using my nail gun

Hmmm I can see that happening

it did straight through the nail of my thumb lol

Ah no...painful x"
yep had to pull nail out using pair of pliers

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By *inkysexpotMan over a year ago

leeds

Changing the centre section exhaust on a friend's car, had it up on ramps and swinging on it to slot it back together and the car rolled off of the ramps and dragged me down the road for about 10 metres.

Friend said after I'd managed to crawl out from under his car "think my hand brake needs looking at" no shit Sherlock!!!!

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By *wist my nipples OP Couple over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"I know someone who burnt their tit trying to iron a shirt while they were wearing it

PMSL

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"I superglued my lips together. That wasn’t great

I'm going ask..which lips

glue fetish ? lol

I have many

well as long as you don't hurt or poo on me I am game anabelle lol

can't promise not to

can you show me you lips need to know what I am dealing with just check for glue

Don't you worry both the glue and them dried up ages ago

I can change that

although can't send face pic unless you can wait 4 years lol

4 yrs...they'll be no rescuing them then

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By *cankeepMan over a year ago

Norwich

Giving it a damn good yank it suddenly ripped. My wrists smashed against either side of my sink. Much swearing etc. Result: today I have a painful bruise on the outside of each wrist

yeah but was the chicken ok

It was bootiful. Oh sorry, that was turkeys

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By *wist my nipples OP Couple over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"I've just flicked chicken curry in my eye, wiggling to Wasabi (Little Mix, I know, I know) and making rather free with my stirring.

Aiyahhhhh!

What ridiculous things have you done that resulted in injury, serious or otherwise?

Mrs TMN x

Made me chuckle

more the imagining the free stirring to little mix..love it

I do enjoy a kitchen wiggle

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By *wist my nipples OP Couple over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"Punched myself in the face while pulling up my bra strap.

Got whiplash from breaking polystyrene blocks.

Tore a gash in my forehead feeding the cat. (Bent down to put the food in her bowl, caught my head on the kitchen worktop). "

Bra strap is hilarious

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I superglued my lips together. That wasn’t great

I'm going ask..which lips

glue fetish ? lol

I have many

well as long as you don't hurt or poo on me I am game anabelle lol

can't promise not to

can you show me you lips need to know what I am dealing with just check for glue

Don't you worry both the glue and them dried up ages ago

I can change that

although can't send face pic unless you can wait 4 years lol

4 yrs...they'll be no rescuing them then

"
such a tease

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"Changing the centre section exhaust on a friend's car, had it up on ramps and swinging on it to slot it back together and the car rolled off of the ramps and dragged me down the road for about 10 metres.

Friend said after I'd managed to crawl out from under his car "think my hand brake needs looking at" no shit Sherlock!!!!"

OMG.. I hope you fixed the hand brake too

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Punched myself in the face while pulling up my bra strap.

Got whiplash from breaking polystyrene blocks.

Tore a gash in my forehead feeding the cat. (Bent down to put the food in her bowl, caught my head on the kitchen worktop).

Bra strap is hilarious

Done it so many times too

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By *wist my nipples OP Couple over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"Wore the wrong knickers, thought I'd opt for a pretty pair as I was sick of wearing comfy ones.

3 bastards called in sick at work meaning my shift went from 6 n half hours to 13 hours ..... with a front wedgie

That was a week ago and the flap swelling is just starting to go down.

WINNER

There's a reason I only plug my wand in next to the bed... So I can chuck it under the bed if needs be! X

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By *uxom redCouple over a year ago

Shrewsbury

I managed to drop a cooker pan stand on my leg at work today...

Cracking bruise down my leg!

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By *wist my nipples OP Couple over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"Loads.

Burnt my retina with toilet cleaner getting too vigorous with cleaning

Dislocated my hip during a particularly crazy sex session

Holy shit!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Stubbed my toe on my sofa, thought I'd carry on even though it was painful, wore trainers, went to the tate gallery and walked it around in agony, got blisters on both heels from the trainers!

Decided I should get it checked and yes broken toe. And quite a break apparent!

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By *aughtyLondonGuyMan over a year ago

london

"wearing no knickers...I got my zip caught on a lip "

Did it swell up?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Stubbed my toe on my sofa, thought I'd carry on even though it was painful, wore trainers, went to the tate gallery and walked it around in agony, got blisters on both heels from the trainers!

Decided I should get it checked and yes broken toe. And quite a break apparent! "

Ouch !! Ooh love the tate

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By *wist my nipples OP Couple over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"I tripped over a carpet thread after going to the loo and coming back downstairs into my living room. I broke my bloody ankle!

I also damaged my rotator cuff after losing my balance painting a bit of wall above the skirting board, it hurt so much i lay on the floor and had a quiet sniffle to myself.

When younger i tripped over a garden rake in my nan and gramps garden and fell straight onto their doorstep and broke my arm. My Aunties husband absolutely pissed himself laughing.

I’ve also been swinging on a swing in same garden and accidentally let go of the swing and landed in the hedge by nan and gramps back door. Luckily nobody saw me so my dignity remained intact.

I’ve also fallen whilst running for the loo after getting out of a swimming pool on holiday, fell and slid, went into the door frame and needed a butterfly stitch. Still got the scar.

How i’m allowed out without supervision is beyond me."

NEW WINNER! Sorry P. That is impressive work!

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By *eeleyWoman over a year ago

Dudley

I've had loads, got knocked over onto a wall and fractured my coccyx, fell in a bush while d*unk and had to get my mum to pluck thorns out of my arse, slammed my finger in a car door, broke my foot in a swingers club, broke my other foot then broke it again as soon as it was out of plaster, tore my toenail almost completely off in a swingers club. I'm abit of a disaster.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Burned my cock with overheated baby oil while wanking.

That still makes me laugh sorry

It’s fine. Got a little scar but I’m fine now.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Stubbed my toe on my sofa, thought I'd carry on even though it was painful, wore trainers, went to the tate gallery and walked it around in agony, got blisters on both heels from the trainers!

Decided I should get it checked and yes broken toe. And quite a break apparent! "

Camel toe ?

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By *wist my nipples OP Couple over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"I superglued my lips together. That wasn’t great

Wow. How?!

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By *ookingaboutMan over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Drilling through a piece of wood I had on my lap...... yes I drilled in to my thigh

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Stubbed my toe on my sofa, thought I'd carry on even though it was painful, wore trainers, went to the tate gallery and walked it around in agony, got blisters on both heels from the trainers!

Decided I should get it checked and yes broken toe. And quite a break apparent!

Camel toe ?

noo!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Burned my cock with overheated baby oil while wanking.

This is why I shave

I shave too. Just warmed the oil up more than I meant to prior to having an oily wank.

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By *inkysexpotMan over a year ago

leeds

Friend said after I'd managed to crawl out from under his car "think my hand brake needs looking at" no shit Sherlock!!!!

OMG.. I hope you fixed the hand brake too

Sorted that out a few weeks later once the road rash had healed a bit

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By *wist my nipples OP Couple over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"I've had loads, got knocked over onto a wall and fractured my coccyx, fell in a bush while d*unk and had to get my mum to pluck thorns out of my arse, slammed my finger in a car door, broke my foot in a swingers club, broke my other foot then broke it again as soon as it was out of plaster, tore my toenail almost completely off in a swingers club. I'm abit of a disaster."

Thorns in your arse, howling here

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By *wist my nipples OP Couple over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"Burned my cock with overheated baby oil while wanking.

AHAHAHAHA

Sorry. But that's funny.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Stubbed my toe on my sofa, thought I'd carry on even though it was painful, wore trainers, went to the tate gallery and walked it around in agony, got blisters on both heels from the trainers!

Decided I should get it checked and yes broken toe. And quite a break apparent! "
remind me of that time went to gran canaria last year my feet got sun burnt a swelled up and big blister couldn't walk for 2 days and I am size 12 and my shoes became to small almost swollen that bad also flying back could feel my blister pop in my socks on take off due pressure lol

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By *eeleyWoman over a year ago

Dudley

Thorns in your arse, howling here

It bloody hurt, I lay on my mums bed while she pulled about 12 of the bastards out of my arse cheeks

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By *wist my nipples OP Couple over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"A friend of mine got a bloody nose and a black eye after he was preparing chilli and didn’t wash his hands well enough before getting amorous with his wife and trying to ”feed the pony”.

I'll bite. What does "feed the pony" mean?

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By *abs..Woman over a year ago

"I superglued my lips together. That wasn’t great

Wow. How?! "

I got distracted when I was holding it and started to chew the tube up by the lid. It leaked out and stuck my lips together

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Burned my cock with overheated baby oil while wanking.

AHAHAHAHA

Sorry. But that's funny. "

I thought so.

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By *wist my nipples OP Couple over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"I superglued my lips together. That wasn’t great

Wow. How?!

I got distracted when I was holding it and started to chew the tube up by the lid. It leaked out and stuck my lips together

Jesus H Christ!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A friend of mine got a bloody nose and a black eye after he was preparing chilli and didn’t wash his hands well enough before getting amorous with his wife and trying to ”feed the pony”.

I'll bite. What does "feed the pony" mean? "

Standing in front of his wife kissing her, with his hand between her legs, fingering her - she got chilli oil inside her pussy and her got a bit of a slapping.

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By *obbytupperMan over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

Giving it a damn good yank it suddenly ripped. My wrists smashed against either side of my sink. Much swearing etc. Result: today I have a painful bruise on the outside of each wrist

yeah but was the chicken ok

Of course, roasting in the kitchen sink doesn't hurt as much as an oven.

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By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Thorns in your arse, howling here

It bloody hurt, I lay on my mums bed while she pulled about 12 of the bastards out of my arse cheeks"

Ah no, don't, I just had a flash back to picking a prickly pear when on holiday in Egypt, realising why they are called prickly pears but then even more stupidly putting it in my pocket so I ended up with not just a palm full of prickles but an upper thigh and side arse cheek too.

Alcohol may have been involved

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By *eeleyWoman over a year ago

Dudley

Thorns in your arse, howling here

It bloody hurt, I lay on my mums bed while she pulled about 12 of the bastards out of my arse cheeks

Alcohol may have been involved

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Stubbed my toe on my sofa, thought I'd carry on even though it was painful, wore trainers, went to the tate gallery and walked it around in agony, got blisters on both heels from the trainers!

Decided I should get it checked and yes broken toe. And quite a break apparent! remind me of that time went to gran canaria last year my feet got sun burnt a swelled up and big blister couldn't walk for 2 days and I am size 12 and my shoes became to small almost swollen that bad also flying back could feel my blister pop in my socks on take off due pressure lol"

Oh that sounds horrible!!

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By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"Stubbed my toe on my sofa, thought I'd carry on even though it was painful, wore trainers, went to the tate gallery and walked it around in agony, got blisters on both heels from the trainers!

Oh that sounds horrible!! "

Pop! Urgh!!

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

Friend said after I'd managed to crawl out from under his car "think my hand brake needs looking at" no shit Sherlock!!!!

OMG.. I hope you fixed the hand brake too

Sorted that out a few weeks later once the road rash had healed a bit

aww you're a good n x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When I was about 13 I woke up one morning and my wrist was hurting I was in so much pain my dad took me to a&e to find it was broken

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By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

[Removed by poster at 25/11/19 21:19:16]

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By *oved Up 2Couple over a year ago

nottingham

"Punched myself in the face while pulling up my bra strap.

Got whiplash from breaking polystyrene blocks.

Tore a gash in my forehead feeding the cat. (Bent down to put the food in her bowl, caught my head on the kitchen worktop). "

You need bubble wrap lol

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By *riveroneMan over a year ago

Hyde

Once I was taking a bag of cement that had gone off out of the boot of my car I caught it in the boot catch which split the heavy paper resulting in the two halves of cement spinning out of my hands and landing on my feet (yes both at the same time) in response to this pain I straightened up fast while swearing only to smash the back of my head on the corresponding upper boot catch then about two minutes of some rain dance like movements where I wasn't able to get my hands to all three new injuries of course this was also in front of a group of mates who ran over to help immediately oh no sorry the bastards laughed so hard they were all in tears

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By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"Once I was taking a bag of cement that had gone off out of the boot of my car I caught it in the boot catch which split the heavy paper resulting in the two halves of cement spinning out of my hands and landing on my feet (yes both at the same time) in response to this pain I straightened up fast while swearing only to smash the back of my head on the corresponding upper boot catch then about two minutes of some rain dance like movements where I wasn't able to get my hands to all three new injuries of course this was also in front of a group of mates who ran over to help immediately oh no sorry the bastards laughed so hard they were all in tears"

To be fair, other people's injuries are always bloody funny

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Stubbed my toe on my sofa, thought I'd carry on even though it was painful, wore trainers, went to the tate gallery and walked it around in agony, got blisters on both heels from the trainers!

Oh that sounds horrible!! "
yeah was felt it too

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wow some of these sound painful

Mine was on a farm I was helping out one summer bailing hay in my teens loaded the big hay bales on the trailer went to throw the strap over and it got caught in a root and ripped my shoulder it was fine at the time then the next morning literally couldn’t raise my arm it took weeks to heal I should’ve got it checked... it’s fine now years later

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By *r SxxMan over a year ago

ashford

"Punched myself in the face while pulling up my bra strap.

Got whiplash from breaking polystyrene blocks.

Tore a gash in my forehead feeding the cat. (Bent down to put the food in her bowl, caught my head on the kitchen worktop). "

Sound like my kind of lady hahaha

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"Punched myself in the face while pulling up my bra strap.

Got whiplash from breaking polystyrene blocks.

Tore a gash in my forehead feeding the cat. (Bent down to put the food in her bowl, caught my head on the kitchen worktop).

Sound like my kind of lady hahaha"

You a first aider

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Also got a scar on my forehead from when I was a kid where I fell out of a tree because the branch I was standing on snapped and I caught my head on the left over but as I fell past it.

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By *uxinteriorMan over a year ago

south west , continental

I was splitting chestnut fence posts I had cut, splitting the old school way with wedges, everything was going fine, got to the last one. Bit of a knot in the wood on the last 12 inch, wouldn't split at all, so decided to put my foot on it and give it a yank upwards. Bad move, I had just taken my safety helmet off, and as I yanked it the post split, but the momentum carried the wood into my forehead and the knot bit where there was the remains of a tiny side branch impaled itself in my forehead.

Lots of blood, and to make matters worse I was miles from anywhere. So had to wash with saline solution and stitch myself, only two stitches! I learnt a lesson, I never remove my safety helmet now.

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By *ourayloversCouple over a year ago

chesterfield

Snapped two ligaments in my shoulder while riding a BMX on a spine ramp that day I learnt

1. I'm not 15 any more

2. I'm too heavy to ride a BMX

3. When your 40 bones break and not bent

4. Gas and air is fun

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"I was splitting chestnut fence posts I had cut, splitting the old school way with wedges, everything was going fine, got to the last one. Bit of a knot in the wood on the last 12 inch, wouldn't split at all, so decided to put my foot on it and give it a yank upwards. Bad move, I had just taken my safety helmet off, and as I yanked it the post split, but the momentum carried the wood into my forehead and the knot bit where there was the remains of a tiny side branch impaled itself in my forehead.

Lots of blood, and to make matters worse I was miles from anywhere. So had to wash with saline solution and stitch myself, only two stitches! I learnt a lesson, I never remove my safety helmet now. "

You sound like Rambo

Btw you should have used glue ..ask Babs it works a treat

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"Snapped two ligaments in my shoulder while riding a BMX on a spine ramp that day I learnt

1. I'm not 15 any more

2. I'm too heavy to ride a BMX

3. When your 40 bones break and not bent

4. Gas and air is fun

kudos for having a go

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By *uxinteriorMan over a year ago

south west , continental

Lots of blood, and to make matters worse I was miles from anywhere. So had to wash with saline solution and stitch myself, only two stitches! I learnt a lesson, I never remove my safety helmet now.

You sound like Rambo

Btw you should have used glue ..ask Babs it works a treat

I do keep a tube of this in my first aid kit now, but touch wood (no pun intended) I don't need it!

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

Lots of blood, and to make matters worse I was miles from anywhere. So had to wash with saline solution and stitch myself, only two stitches! I learnt a lesson, I never remove my safety helmet now.

You sound like Rambo

Btw you should have used glue ..ask Babs it works a treat

I do keep a tube of this in my first aid kit now, but touch wood (no pun intended) I don't need it!"

Just don't touch wood with the super glue!

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By *inn_the_humanMan over a year ago

Edinburgh

Tried to spray deep heat on a stiff thigh muscle.

Got the nozzle the wrong way round and sprayed it over my ballsack and bell-end. Honestly never knew pain like that existed.

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By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Lots of blood, and to make matters worse I was miles from anywhere. So had to wash with saline solution and stitch myself, only two stitches! I learnt a lesson, I never remove my safety helmet now. "

Shitting hell!

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By *ourayloversCouple over a year ago

chesterfield

"Snapped two ligaments in my shoulder while riding a BMX on a spine ramp that day I learnt

1. I'm not 15 any more

2. I'm too heavy to ride a BMX

3. When your 40 bones break and not bent

4. Gas and air is fun

kudos for having a go

Lou didn't think so ...... she had to nurse me for 6 months ! Enjoyed the bedbaths so I suppose every cloud has a silver lining lol

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By *uxinteriorMan over a year ago

south west , continental

Lots of blood, and to make matters worse I was miles from anywhere. So had to wash with saline solution and stitch myself, only two stitches! I learnt a lesson, I never remove my safety helmet now.

You sound like Rambo

Btw you should have used glue ..ask Babs it works a treat

I do keep a tube of this in my first aid kit now, but touch wood (no pun intended) I don't need it!

Just don't touch wood with the super glue!"

Yes that would be a right disaster! Just obtaining the acetone would have complications, I don't want to even think about the removal!!

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By *inkyfun2013Couple over a year ago

lewisham

Reminds me of this...

I had to do a bricklaying job at the top of a building. So I rigged up a beam with a pulley at the top of the building and hoisted up a couple of barrels of bricks.

When I had finished the job, there were a lot of bricks left over.

I hoisted the barrel back up again and secured the line at the bottom and then went up and filled the barrel with the extra bricks.

Then I went to the bottom and cast off the rope.

Unfortunately, the barrel of bricks was heavier than I was and before I knew what was happening, the barrel started down, jerking me off the ground. I decided to hang on.

Halfway up, I met the barrel coming down, and received a severe blow on the shoulder. I then continued to the top, banging my head against the beam and getting my fingers jammed in the pulley.

When the barrel hit the ground, it burst its bottom... allowing all the bricks to spill out. I was now heavier than the barrel and so started down again at high speed.

Halfway down, I met the barrel coming up and received severe injury to my shins.

When I hit the ground, I landed on the bricks, getting several painful cuts from the sharp edges.

At this point, I must have lost my presence of mind, because I let go of the line. The barrel then came down, giving me a very heavy blow and putting me in hospital.

***

Not my story, but I thought it might raise a giggle.

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

Lots of blood, and to make matters worse I was miles from anywhere. So had to wash with saline solution and stitch myself, only two stitches! I learnt a lesson, I never remove my safety helmet now.

You sound like Rambo

Btw you should have used glue ..ask Babs it works a treat

I do keep a tube of this in my first aid kit now, but touch wood (no pun intended) I don't need it!

Just don't touch wood with the super glue!

Yes that would be a right disaster! Just obtaining the acetone would have complications, I don't want to even think about the removal!! "

I'm chuckling thinking about but I'm warped

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By *s_bettyboopWoman over a year ago

-3

Opened the outside bin lid to put the rubbish in and the lid came down hard on my nose and cut it open.

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By *hMyGawdCouple over a year ago

Midlands

Male half here

Ran myself over with my own car once.

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By *s_bettyboopWoman over a year ago

-3

"Wore the wrong knickers, thought I'd opt for a pretty pair as I was sick of wearing comfy ones.

3 bastards called in sick at work meaning my shift went from 6 n half hours to 13 hours ..... with a front wedgie

That was a week ago and the flap swelling is just starting to go down.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"wearing no knickers...I got my zip caught on a lip "
oooh. Ouch

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By *hromosexualsCouple over a year ago

Near Abercynon

"This more an injury I didn't get, and how lucky and fortunate I was..

When you felt the rubble bricks as stood up could easily of broken ankle or leg, seemed where I stopped was like a roof of a concrete hut or a kiln, built into side of road.. "

My home town, and I know where you mean.

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By *hromosexualsCouple over a year ago

Near Abercynon

I used to have a bed with a headboard with a bit of a shelf on it. On two occasions an iPad has fallen off on to my head and drawn blood.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

In the kitchen, chopping chillis. Knocked a glass bottle of olive oil off the worktop. Tried to break its fall with my right foot. Missed. Stomped on oil-slicked broken glass with my bare foot.

Only when picking the shards of glass out of my tattered, blood-soaked foot did I remember about the chillis...

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By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"Male half here

Ran myself over with my own car once."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

mistimed motocross jump resulting in 2 broken wrists and both arms in plaster at the same time... yes I got some odd looks !!!

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By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

[Removed by poster at 25/11/19 23:15:08]

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By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"mistimed motocross jump resulting in 2 broken wrists and both arms in plaster at the same time... yes I got some odd looks !!!"

How did you go to the toilet?

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By *latinumkittenWoman over a year ago

from Home Counties to Middle Earth

I went karting wearing a g-string. The circuit was quite bumpy, plus a hill (I was always airborne from the brow), I came off the grid and realised the pain in my behind was actually where my cheese-wire knickers had literally sawn away my bum crease. It took weeks to heal, sitting, standing, walking - every position seemed to open up the wound.

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By *hromosexualsCouple over a year ago

Near Abercynon

As a teenager coming home from the pub, I did what every like minded guy would do; had a go on the slide in the kids park.

Fell off it, busted my chin open and still have a scar 25 years later

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By *ORDERMANMan over a year ago

wrexham

"This more an injury I didn't get, and how lucky and fortunate I was..

When you felt the rubble bricks as stood up could easily of broken ankle or leg, seemed where I stopped was like a roof of a concrete hut or a kiln, built into side of road..

My home town, and I know where you mean."

Pm me what it was...

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By *ORDERMANMan over a year ago

wrexham

"Reminds me of this...

I had to do a bricklaying job at the top of a building. So I rigged up a beam with a pulley at the top of the building and hoisted up a couple of barrels of bricks.

When I had finished the job, there were a lot of bricks left over.

I hoisted the barrel back up again and secured the line at the bottom and then went up and filled the barrel with the extra bricks.

Then I went to the bottom and cast off the rope.

Unfortunately, the barrel of bricks was heavier than I was and before I knew what was happening, the barrel started down, jerking me off the ground. I decided to hang on.

Halfway up, I met the barrel coming down, and received a severe blow on the shoulder. I then continued to the top, banging my head against the beam and getting my fingers jammed in the pulley.

When the barrel hit the ground, it burst its bottom... allowing all the bricks to spill out. I was now heavier than the barrel and so started down again at high speed.

Halfway down, I met the barrel coming up and received severe injury to my shins.

When I hit the ground, I landed on the bricks, getting several painful cuts from the sharp edges.

At this point, I must have lost my presence of mind, because I let go of the line. The barrel then came down, giving me a very heavy blow and putting me in hospital.

***

Not my story, but I thought it might raise a giggle. "

Much better when heard put to music..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As designated driver one evening I had dropped everyone off and was driving home as raised I needed the toilet so badly that I wouldn't make it home. I decided to stop at a psych of woodland and go on there. It was dark, I had no torch. One word: nettles.

Another time, Ms D and I were having done outdoor fun. Laying back afterwards I discovered why you should always check the ground first. Two words: red ants.

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By *r AmbassadorMan over a year ago

Dublin

"Punched myself in the face while pulling up my bra strap.

Got whiplash from breaking polystyrene blocks.

Tore a gash in my forehead feeding the cat. (Bent down to put the food in her bowl, caught my head on the kitchen worktop). "
your jinxed

You need a warning sign for meets, lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Dropped an old telly on my toe

Broke my elbow on a tree

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By *r AmbassadorMan over a year ago

Dublin

During a Demo on a nail gun, I shot my hand with a serrated nail( think Xmas tree design)

Trapping a nerve in my arm, kept passing out, and at one point woke up bent over a stool,as the people present couldn't hold me up, my colleague had to remove said nail with a plyers ,

Yep not my finest moment,

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By *xperimentalistMan over a year ago

East Yorkshire

Several spring to mind..

1) hitting myself in the head with half a brick

2) very nearly impaling myself on a spiked railing

3) impaling a very delicate area of a gentleman's anatomy while climbing through a window (and getting stuck)

4) an argument that I lost with a rather large hawthorn bush

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By *nabelle21Woman over a year ago

B38

"Dropped an old telly on my toe

Broke my elbow on a tree

I once dropped a telly on the kids pet mouse!

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By *r AmbassadorMan over a year ago

Dublin

"Dropped an old telly on my toe

Broke my elbow on a tree

I once dropped a telly on the kids pet mouse!"
on purpose

Tell the truth

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By *r SxxMan over a year ago

ashford

Broke my big toe/damaged foot in a soft play area....

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By *icplshropsCouple over a year ago

Rock

Broke my left foot (Jones fracture) and was in plaster and crutches for 9 weeks. I slipped off the edge of a flagstone, that was about an inch higher than the next row, which had sunken. The edge of my foot had wobbled over the edge, as I tried to get my balance. It was bloody painful!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just had 2 1/2 weeks of agony, I pulled a muscle in my lower back getting out of my chair at work

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wore two lenses in one eye for a couple of days. Everyone knows me at my optician place now..

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